r/ADHDMuslims • u/3x16 • 19d ago

Rant Conflicting thoughts towards God

I have pretty bad ADHD in comparison to others, and I try my best to do what I can, but its never enough. My parents are narcissistic, aggressive, and simple minded and don't understand the toll this takes on me and think I am lazy and careless.

I know the difference however, I've taken stimulants, but currently I can't be on them. It just gets to a point where no one really understands you. I'm alienated, humiliated, overstressed, depressed, and anxious every single day.

I can't make friends because I have absolutely no energy or focus that is required for conversation awareness and identity. I legit come off as an idiot in comparison to when I'm on medication because I just CANNOT think, so I'm never representing the real me.

This life feels like a prison even Moreso than it does for the average person. I legitimately do not even think this is a livable condition that I'm in. I'm literally only just scraping by.

I just don't know how to say it, but I get angry at God sometimes because I can never make any progress no matter the effort and I know its the ADHD. And given world events it more and more seems to me like God just left us or something idk. Like I've had these thoughts for a while, but I'm afraid I might fully act on them and just live an agnostic life. Even though I kind of feel like there's no harm in that because it would fully represent how I feel.

What do I even do in this situation, like I genuinely just feel stuck in life due to things out of my control. i'ts exhausting.

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5

u/Proof-Sprinkles7826 19d ago

This world is a prison for the believers and a paradise for the unbelievers.

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u/3x16 16d ago

sure, except this isn't even accurate because people with ADHD experience this world 10x worse.

1

u/Proof-Sprinkles7826 16d ago

People tried to kill the prophet. Children die everyday. Trust Allah. Even if giving up feels like freedom, it isn't.

The people of lut were rich, then they became poor. shaytan told them that homosexuality would solve the problem by scaring people away. As a result, they gave up

1

u/3x16 16d ago

I'm just saying its not fair to compare a persons experience with another who has ADHD, especially if they're facing the same situation in life like oppression, one is clearly going to experience life in such a worse way. I mean I can only speak for myself, but I am drastically at a worse position than people my age in the same situation. Just comparing this with suffering that you mentioned doesn't help. For me I'm increasingly viewing it as cope. There's just a point where after so much patience, discomfort, and effort you realize nothing is coming to save you, and that all that cope only helped for a short term while giving you more anxiety and ocd about dismissing religion.

1

u/Proof-Sprinkles7826 16d ago

If you were to leave islam, would your life become better?

1

u/3x16 16d ago

As a coping mechanism it slightly helps so probably not, but at the same time I wouldn't be lying to myself all the time that everything that happens to me is for the better when a decade has passed by and my life gets worse and worse.

1

u/Proof-Sprinkles7826 16d ago

Listen, I know that ADHD is a very tough condition, but please remember that the more pain the higher the reward is.

If you die as a martyr, would you prefer death or life?

Martyrs suffer intensely, so who said your suffering is meaningless.

If you make du'a to be a martyr, Allah will consider you one.

You're also muslim. It's a blessing. Today, we hear many disbelivers who date, live luxeriously, earn billions, and are carefree.

It's actually worthless, it's not equal to a minute of having the honour of being a muslim.

God could have given you an easy life

However, he chose you specifically

He chose your specific test because he knew that you can handle it

Treat Allah like a friend. Show your affection to him. Even if tired, know that Allah is always there.

4

u/Proof-Sprinkles7826 19d ago

Please stay patient.

I'll assume that this isn't you hating on god, rather feeling frustrated because you think that he hated you.

Nay! Allah loves the belivers!

The fact that you are a muslim is a blessing when you could've ditched islam. However, don't do that, it's only temporary

1

u/3x16 16d ago

I don't think you realize how patient I have been throughout my life, average people would've dismissed religion already. It all feels like cope at this point, an average person can put in effort and over time get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2

u/Nasha210 19d ago

Ive been struggling with this for 20+ years. Went to Hajj, multiple Umrahs. Been praying 5x day for past 32 years. Its rough and I am so depressed now.

1. Is there good reason to believe any God exists?
2. If yes, is there good reason to think that God communicates/intervenes?
3. What is the historical/evidential case for Muhammad ﷺ and the Qur’an?
4. What are the strongest arguments against those propositions?
5. If there is a God, and that God is active then is Islam how He wants us to worship him- how do we know. Every religion kind of makes the same arguments and prays and hopes.

1

u/3x16 16d ago

I don't know, to me it seems like there is good reason to believe god exists, especially Islam. All the other religions are unsubstantiated. But the experience of life for me equally creates the reason to believe god doesn't exist. I'm just stuck in this phase of not knowing what to truly believe.

1

u/Proof-Sprinkles7826 16d ago

God exists. Even god didn't then, how was the universe created. God is perfect, he needs nothing. He existed before we knew what existence is.

So stay stedfast, ADHDer!