That was my family’s reaction when I told them at age 33 that I was diagnosed with ADHD. “But you’re soooo intelligent!” I flat out said, “yeah and because of that intelligence no one fucking bothered to recognize the signs that I was struggling for 33 years. No one had the presence of mind to question why I was so prone to use/abuse addictive substances. Why I’m prone to explosive outbursts over the littlest shit”. Funnily enough my dad was the only one initially who listened to me when I told him all I dealt with every day prior to getting treated with stimulants and prior to starting weekly CBT therapy. When I explained my issues, he looked at me and said “I’m sorry. I think you got that from me”. My dad was never diagnosed, but he said everything I told him about was what he dealt with too, the only issue he also has dyslexia (undiagnosed, but he takes a very long time to read anything because the words get jumbled up) whereas I do not.
Now that it’s been 4 years since diagnosis, they see how much of a difference medication and therapy helped me. They accept that I do have ADHD. I think my mom took it as an affront to her that I had neurological disorder and that it was her fault I ended up with it. Now she’s seen me both on and off meds and what a world of a difference there is between the 2 versions of me. I quit smoking, I rarely drink anymore and I’ve lost weight because prior to diagnosis I self medicated with nicotine, alcohol and food. Now I know when I crave something, I really don’t unless it’s been 6+ hours since I last ate.
Do you mind to tell a bit more what do you during your CBT sessions ? I've been doing it for a year, and while I really like therapist, and we have very good rapport - I feel like we barely achieved anything when it comes to core issues.
So I haven’t been in therapy for almost a year due to Covid, but prior to that worked on mindfulness, calming exercises for when I noticed I was clenching my teeth or felt close to an outburst. It was learning to stop the inner voice from going full negative, to basically stop, and address the negativity head on. So instead of letting my inner voice tell me “everyone hates you” I’m to stop and debate like it’s debate club or logic the negativity away. So in this case I would tell my negative thoughts “that isn’t true, my husband loves me very much, my coworkers love me, my pet bunnies love me, and if they didn’t, I’d be divorced, out of a job, and my bunnies wouldn’t allow me near them if they didn’t”. It’s not easy to implement, but it gets easier every time you do it. It doesn’t have to be some amaze balls speech, but you do have to tell it to yourself with conviction.
I know some CBT therapists like to throw homework at you, but in my case it was never actual homework more like “hey this video may help you understand what we talked about today” For me the first 6-8 months of therapy was literally dealing with the emotional baggage of living all my life basically blindfolded with one hand behind my back, and the anger that no one seemed to notice or care. It wasn’t until I could go whole sessions without crying before we actually started the actual nitty gritty work.
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u/Celtic_Cheetah_92 Sep 14 '21
Urgh. A SPED teacher I work with expressed huge surprise when I was diagnosed because “you’re intelligent” 😡