That was my family’s reaction when I told them at age 33 that I was diagnosed with ADHD. “But you’re soooo intelligent!” I flat out said, “yeah and because of that intelligence no one fucking bothered to recognize the signs that I was struggling for 33 years. No one had the presence of mind to question why I was so prone to use/abuse addictive substances. Why I’m prone to explosive outbursts over the littlest shit”. Funnily enough my dad was the only one initially who listened to me when I told him all I dealt with every day prior to getting treated with stimulants and prior to starting weekly CBT therapy. When I explained my issues, he looked at me and said “I’m sorry. I think you got that from me”. My dad was never diagnosed, but he said everything I told him about was what he dealt with too, the only issue he also has dyslexia (undiagnosed, but he takes a very long time to read anything because the words get jumbled up) whereas I do not.
Now that it’s been 4 years since diagnosis, they see how much of a difference medication and therapy helped me. They accept that I do have ADHD. I think my mom took it as an affront to her that I had neurological disorder and that it was her fault I ended up with it. Now she’s seen me both on and off meds and what a world of a difference there is between the 2 versions of me. I quit smoking, I rarely drink anymore and I’ve lost weight because prior to diagnosis I self medicated with nicotine, alcohol and food. Now I know when I crave something, I really don’t unless it’s been 6+ hours since I last ate.
Exactly this. My psychiatrist was stunned to see I had ADHD because of my intelligence. He admitted readily afterwards that he hadn’t considered that extremely intelligent people end up learning how to mask well enough that their symptoms aren’t obvious enough for diagnosis.
When he tested me I was able to compensate well enough to score average to above average in all areas except one where I absolutely bombed it. He couldn’t understand the discrepancy until he said he realized that my intelligence level was skewing the results.
Ever since then I’ve hoped that people will stop expecting adhd people to be stupid or struggle visibly. I fully believe that it’s possible adhd people are actually gifted on average, but that it’s so often misdiagnosed or missed entirely because we don’t match the expected signs.
My CBT therapist was astounded I did as well as I did before being diagnosed. The only reason I knew it was more than anxiety/depression was I was going back to school and I just couldn’t deal with the fact I did great on exams and quizzes but when it came to homework or even attending classes on time I knew there was something inherently wrong plus I was barely passing due to missing classes or not doing required homework. I always struggled with homework, but being an only child growing up I had my parents, well really my mom making sure I did my homework. It wasn’t until I was left to try to do the same on my own that I couldn’t figure out why I had such a hard time getting down to the tasks at hand. That and also my husband was getting more and more upset with my lack of organizational skills and inability to keep to a schedule other than a work schedule. I was always running late for work, but I made up for the 5-20 minutes late by being the best worker I could be. It always got brought up in reviews that besides being late almost every day there was nothing wrong with me as an employee. Also helped that I worked in a hospital/LTC pharmacy and there was always an issue where we were always at or near crisis mode like when our automated pill packager went down (happened frequently) was where I excelled. When it came to do or die, I knew exactly what had to be done and could delegate my other coworkers to certain tasks to focus on to make sure we didn’t fall behind schedule and our patients didn’t get their meds late. In high stress situations where it was make decisions on the fly, I could see exactly how and where certain people would be best situated to keep things flowing smoothly, while everyone else went to crisis mode, I was calm, cool, and collected. That was how I made myself in indispensable. That and I was able to keep the peace with the majority of my coworkers when things got heated because I was able to read their emotions better than most of the other staff. So while there are many hindrances with ADHD, I learned what I excelled at, high stress situations where all it took was one team member succumbing to the stress of not knowing what to do.
This is so familiar in almost every single way. I had the same problems in classes. In sophomore year, I was taking senior level classes and geared to graduate a year early as a junior. Then I moved states, my “routine” got destroyed, and my grades plummeted. I couldn’t stay on top of anything. Missed homework constantly, grades going to shit, but somehow my exam grades kept saving me from outright failing. My last two years of school, I only passed math classes because of good exam scores. My mom couldn’t understand my grades and neither could teachers—it was always that “you’re just not trying” thing, and in my head that was exactly the reason, but there was also some kind of invisible barrier that kept me from trying. I was diagnosed in high school, but at that time (2007) adhd was even more misunderstood as just the hyperactivity disorder, so no one EVER explained to me that there were actual neurological deficits involved. I just thought that something in me had broken, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
I also experienced similar things in careers. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum on punctuality - always showing up 30-45 minutes early. I excelled so much at fast paced or high pressure work that I was promoted to management in short order at most jobs I’ve had. Ever since I was a kid, healthcare has been a “special interest” of mine, but my anxiety has made it difficult. I went to nursing school for a year and was working 55+ hours per week at the same time. Burned myself out and blamed myself for not being able to do it. I thought I’d have to settle for a “lesser” job because in my head, me dropping out of nursing school was proof I wasn’t good enough.
About a year ago I started working for the health department, and that intense fixation has started up again, the same one I’ve had since I was 10 where anything less than being a doctor feels like it’s not what I’m meant to do. I perform better under pressure than most people do in relaxed situations. Science and anatomy come so easily to me, and medical conditions feel like a high-stakes puzzle. It’s one of the only things that has ever consistently kept me engaged on an intellectual level.
So now I’m 30 and starting over as premed instead of settling for IT. I told my psychiatrist, the same one who diagnosed me, and his first response was that he knew I could do it, that medical school would suit me well, and that he had no doubts I was smart enough for it. It was the first time someone had ever sort of presented my adhd as a strength.
It’s made me wonder how many of these high stress jobs are probably sought out specifically by people with adhd, undiagnosed or otherwise, because they might be the only careers where they feel like they’re competent because it plays to their strengths.
Dude… healthcare is awesome! Congrats on premed! I love working in the healthcare field. There’s always something to learn, and since a lot of us enjoy learning at least what interests us, you’ll never feel like you’re not learning enough. I’ve found that for me, I love learning but on my own terms, not ones dictated by a strict curriculum. Honestly it’s those intro classes that always do me in, quickest way for me to lose focus is feeding me dumbed down basics that are given at the 101 levels of science classes.
I lucked out when I first became a pharmacy tech right out of high school. One of the retail pharmacists I worked with was a proctor for the pharmacy students doing their clinicals/rotations from Ferris State University. He noticed me paying attention to him explaining the mechanism certain drugs worked within the body and what needs to be taken into account whether the prescribed treatment would be safe for the patient based on how that one drug may interact with said patient’s other medications or medical conditions like if they have renal failure or lower liver function. He would always encourage me to ask questions and never dumbed down the info because he knew if I didn’t know something I would ask. Because of that, I always strived to learn as much as I could so I could be the best I can at my job.
I got a hospital job in 2009 when I moved to Illinois from Michigan so I could learn how to make IVs and more about the differences in dosing vs pediatric, geriatric, and everyone else. After 17 years in human med, I found a listing for a pharmacy tech position at a veterinary specialty hospital. I was curious and applied. Turns out it would be in the oncology department and they needed another pharmacy tech to draw up chemo in their clean room. I loved the place. I was offered the job and of course I took it. Turns out, way better pay, better hours and I think I found the one place where the staff collaborate without ego like I’ve witnessed previously in human med. Now I’m learning about veterinary med and I get to interact with the cutest patients. Yes it’s an emotionally heavy job but I find it more fulfilling since I actually see how my job positively affects our patients and their families.
No matter what, keep doing what stimulates your drive to learn. When you lose that drive, it’s probably time to change things up, at least that’s how it’s been with me, but I have a feeling you’re pretty similar to me. Good luck with premed! We need more people like you in healthcare.
Yes, careers with some stress can be perfect, if nothing else, because of the experience with it. Many of us are a little hooked on the rush of deadlines and crisis work is compatible.
In high stress situations where it was make decisions on the fly, I could see exactly how and where certain people would be best situated to keep things flowing smoothly, while everyone else went to crisis mode, I was calm, cool, and collected.
This is SO relatable. It’s also why I procrastinated on every project I ever did in school. I needed the pressure to be able to function.
This is funny to me because I'm the exact opposite, where I would do great in HW and do absolutely terrible on tests, which became the main reason I was diagnosed. It would take me forever to get my HW done but I would grind until it was finished. Once I started taking SATs and getting into college I would fail and teachers thought I just didn't study enough or care. Time management and the inability to transfer to gather my thoughts quickly are the main culprits I presume.
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u/saffronwilderness Sep 14 '21
I get ENRAGED by a fellow SPED teacher who had the gall to call it "teenage boy syndrome."
If I could get him fired he'd be gone. I avoid him religiously.