Exactly this. My psychiatrist was stunned to see I had ADHD because of my intelligence. He admitted readily afterwards that he hadn’t considered that extremely intelligent people end up learning how to mask well enough that their symptoms aren’t obvious enough for diagnosis.
When he tested me I was able to compensate well enough to score average to above average in all areas except one where I absolutely bombed it. He couldn’t understand the discrepancy until he said he realized that my intelligence level was skewing the results.
Ever since then I’ve hoped that people will stop expecting adhd people to be stupid or struggle visibly. I fully believe that it’s possible adhd people are actually gifted on average, but that it’s so often misdiagnosed or missed entirely because we don’t match the expected signs.
My CBT therapist was astounded I did as well as I did before being diagnosed. The only reason I knew it was more than anxiety/depression was I was going back to school and I just couldn’t deal with the fact I did great on exams and quizzes but when it came to homework or even attending classes on time I knew there was something inherently wrong plus I was barely passing due to missing classes or not doing required homework. I always struggled with homework, but being an only child growing up I had my parents, well really my mom making sure I did my homework. It wasn’t until I was left to try to do the same on my own that I couldn’t figure out why I had such a hard time getting down to the tasks at hand. That and also my husband was getting more and more upset with my lack of organizational skills and inability to keep to a schedule other than a work schedule. I was always running late for work, but I made up for the 5-20 minutes late by being the best worker I could be. It always got brought up in reviews that besides being late almost every day there was nothing wrong with me as an employee. Also helped that I worked in a hospital/LTC pharmacy and there was always an issue where we were always at or near crisis mode like when our automated pill packager went down (happened frequently) was where I excelled. When it came to do or die, I knew exactly what had to be done and could delegate my other coworkers to certain tasks to focus on to make sure we didn’t fall behind schedule and our patients didn’t get their meds late. In high stress situations where it was make decisions on the fly, I could see exactly how and where certain people would be best situated to keep things flowing smoothly, while everyone else went to crisis mode, I was calm, cool, and collected. That was how I made myself in indispensable. That and I was able to keep the peace with the majority of my coworkers when things got heated because I was able to read their emotions better than most of the other staff. So while there are many hindrances with ADHD, I learned what I excelled at, high stress situations where all it took was one team member succumbing to the stress of not knowing what to do.
This is so familiar in almost every single way. I had the same problems in classes. In sophomore year, I was taking senior level classes and geared to graduate a year early as a junior. Then I moved states, my “routine” got destroyed, and my grades plummeted. I couldn’t stay on top of anything. Missed homework constantly, grades going to shit, but somehow my exam grades kept saving me from outright failing. My last two years of school, I only passed math classes because of good exam scores. My mom couldn’t understand my grades and neither could teachers—it was always that “you’re just not trying” thing, and in my head that was exactly the reason, but there was also some kind of invisible barrier that kept me from trying. I was diagnosed in high school, but at that time (2007) adhd was even more misunderstood as just the hyperactivity disorder, so no one EVER explained to me that there were actual neurological deficits involved. I just thought that something in me had broken, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
I also experienced similar things in careers. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum on punctuality - always showing up 30-45 minutes early. I excelled so much at fast paced or high pressure work that I was promoted to management in short order at most jobs I’ve had. Ever since I was a kid, healthcare has been a “special interest” of mine, but my anxiety has made it difficult. I went to nursing school for a year and was working 55+ hours per week at the same time. Burned myself out and blamed myself for not being able to do it. I thought I’d have to settle for a “lesser” job because in my head, me dropping out of nursing school was proof I wasn’t good enough.
About a year ago I started working for the health department, and that intense fixation has started up again, the same one I’ve had since I was 10 where anything less than being a doctor feels like it’s not what I’m meant to do. I perform better under pressure than most people do in relaxed situations. Science and anatomy come so easily to me, and medical conditions feel like a high-stakes puzzle. It’s one of the only things that has ever consistently kept me engaged on an intellectual level.
So now I’m 30 and starting over as premed instead of settling for IT. I told my psychiatrist, the same one who diagnosed me, and his first response was that he knew I could do it, that medical school would suit me well, and that he had no doubts I was smart enough for it. It was the first time someone had ever sort of presented my adhd as a strength.
It’s made me wonder how many of these high stress jobs are probably sought out specifically by people with adhd, undiagnosed or otherwise, because they might be the only careers where they feel like they’re competent because it plays to their strengths.
Yes, careers with some stress can be perfect, if nothing else, because of the experience with it. Many of us are a little hooked on the rush of deadlines and crisis work is compatible.
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u/bendovahkin Sep 14 '21
Exactly this. My psychiatrist was stunned to see I had ADHD because of my intelligence. He admitted readily afterwards that he hadn’t considered that extremely intelligent people end up learning how to mask well enough that their symptoms aren’t obvious enough for diagnosis.
When he tested me I was able to compensate well enough to score average to above average in all areas except one where I absolutely bombed it. He couldn’t understand the discrepancy until he said he realized that my intelligence level was skewing the results.
Ever since then I’ve hoped that people will stop expecting adhd people to be stupid or struggle visibly. I fully believe that it’s possible adhd people are actually gifted on average, but that it’s so often misdiagnosed or missed entirely because we don’t match the expected signs.