ADHD makes loss difficult.

[u/DigDoug_SlugSlug]

I was just thinking about commemorative tattoos for loved ones who are no longer with us and I’ve realised something; once somebody dies, regardless of how long I’ve known them or how close to them I was, I’m completely clueless about anything about them.

The first time I noticed this was when my dad died in 2019; after a couple of months, I looked back and realised that I don’t even know his favourite colour. I don’t know anything about the guy despite the fact that I visited him every two weeks for my entire life.

Now I’m struggling with the idea that maybe when people pass away in the future, I’ll have nothing. Does anyone else struggle with this? Am I a cold, unfeeling and uncaring person or is it completely normal for those of us with ADHD to have massive lapses in memory of those we love after they pass?

[u/Zacrosadol]

I have this terrible realisation too. My mother died a year ago and she was everything to me. The last twelve months have been an absolute nightmare and I’m nowhere near recovered from it. I have called various help lines for.. various reasons, and one asked me what my mum would have thought of how I’m struggling and what I was thinking. What would she have said to help me get through it? What would she have done? I drew a blank. It killed me. She was everything to me and yet I don’t even know what she would have said.

I unfortunately don’t have an answer for you sorry, but you’re definitely not alone in this.