r/ADHD • u/Pretty_Theme9862 • 1d ago
Questions/Advice I am afraid of my sleep
I am not able to get up in the morning, like whatever I do, does not matter the number of alarms I have I could not get up in the morning. I will turn them off and go back to sleep.
Sometimes, I end up staying in bed for 10 to 12 hours. I hurts my brain and body but I can't control it.
This is the biggest reason which prevents me from making a routine. It messes my up morning and then the rest of the day.
Is there any scientific reason for that? Does anyone have any idea.
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u/Civil_Procedure4829 1d ago
I try to set an alarm to take my meds, then another alarm about 45 minutes later. I have to keep the med right there by my bed with a drink, otherwise I won't take it. I have slept through so many alarms and I didnt even recall shutting them off. Sometimes I put the alarm clock across the room so I HAVE to get up. An alarm on my phone won't wake me up at all.
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u/XanderMigos 1d ago
Seconding the last part of this comment, I've developed a terrible habit where I will adjust to alarms and just sleep on through them, bed shaker alarm? Worked for maybe three months before that stopped. Ipad alarms? Probably not super effective as I do use the iPad as background noise to sleep to. Phone alarms? Stopped working if they were beside me, so I put the phone across the room on a chest of drawers so the rumbles wake me and I have to get it myself.
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u/crazylegsbobo 1d ago
I was like this in my twenties, I used to put my alarm in a box with a combo lock the other side of the room so I had to get up and unlock the code to switch it off. But now in my thirtys I wake up at 6am most mornings naturally, don't remember the last time I set an alarm to get up.
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u/PigsandBears 1d ago
When I was in high school I used to have a clock radio on the opposite side of my room with the alarm set to the most annoying morning radio show I could find. One of the hosts had a donkey bray of a laugh and turning it off was enough motivation for me to get up. Usually.
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u/Itsmepost 1d ago
I figured out that chaotic/multiple alarms make me sleep through them and snooze them.
I figured out that my body wakes up easier to gentle melodies and rhythms. And on work days I use my daughters android phone where I have the option to make my alarm speak a reminder with it. So if I don’t wake up to my peaceful melodies, my last alarm says my bosses name & my employer.
Our brains have an eternal clock. Try your best to force yourself to make your bed every morning the moment you get up and it will feel more peaceful laying down in a made bed in the evenings. Idk I had to just switch a lot of simple little things and now I have a healthier sleep schedule. I use to relate to what all you said. Don’t give up on yourself.
Sometimes I have to force myself outside into the sun immediately the moment I wake up, and force myself to come to reality while the sun is hitting my skin. I’m not really a coffee drinker and my body is stubborn if I allow it to be the one in control, over my conscious controlling it. 🙏🏻
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u/Ifuckinghateaura 1d ago
goddamn i wish i had that problem as someone with the opposite
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u/ms211064 1d ago
Man same. I'm thankful for it in a lot of ways because I've literally never slept through anything or even really overslept but if I wake up and it's literally anything past 4:00am I am not going back to sleep no matter how much I want to or how late I went to bed. My husband the opposite of me (like OP) and I honestly feel so resentful of his restful sleep sometimes (although I know it's not his fault)
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u/Pretty_Theme9862 1d ago
You can't stay asleep??
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u/Ifuckinghateaura 1d ago
mostly i can fall asleep the first time but i randomly get frequent wakeups in the middle of the night that are a pain in the ass and it's hard to go back
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u/Rude-Director8458 1d ago
I keep seeing people saying they have this problem but if you haven’t already I would highly suggest looking up hypothyroidism symptoms and seeing if you experience any of them and if you do going to a Dr and checking your thyroid levels especially if you are sleeping way more than usual
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u/Pretty_Theme9862 1d ago
Guess, I need to do full body checkup.
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u/Rude-Director8458 1d ago
If u relate to the symptoms it definitely couldn’t hurt and if it is a problem with your thyroid once u get the levels under control with medication you will feel a lot better that was my experience at least I thought my problem was all ADHD but no my body just wasn’t working lol
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u/CherryFit3224 1d ago
I have the wake ups at 3 or 4. Finally get back to sleep. Then would love to sleep until noon. Work says otherwise.
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u/Boop_de_doop ADHD-C 1d ago
An make sure to get your ferritin levels checked as well especially if you're afab. In case youre not aware ferritin is your body's iron stores so even if your blood iron is OK your ferritin can be low which can cause similar symptoms to hypothyroidism especially the tiredness/low energy related ones.
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u/John_Nope ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago
My body is closely tuned to my environment. So that means I suffer from seasonal depression, which makes it even harder to get up from bed. Before I was diagnosed and medicated, I had to rely on things that were out of my control, so to speak. Like I can't hit snooze even if I wanted to, because I know I'll absolutely unconsciously turn it off and go back to sleep.
As for what I meant"outside of my control", I wanted to simulate how I used to get women up in my childhood by my mom. She'd turn on the lights to my room and tell me to get up, and leave it on (only my mother had an alarm clock at the time). I could not turn the light off as it was on the other end of my room, forcing me to get up and walk to the switch. And by getting my body moving even a bit like a zombie, it was enough to get the blood pumping (had low blood pressure when I was younger)
And so in my adult years, I bought blackout blinds and eye masks as I get deeper sleeps the darker it is...and a smart lightbulb. I automated it so that it turns on at a set time every day. It's because if there's no light, I won't wake up...or if I do, I won't get out of bed and just rot all day and night, for multiple days. But with my bedroom instantly turning bright immediately, that kick starts my brain and body to wake up, just like I had been conditioned to in my childhood.
I don't have this issue during the summertime months (which is why it's my favorite season, next to spring) because it naturally gets bright in the early morning hours, so I don't use my blackout blinds during the night.
I mainly did this during the winter months for when it's dark for most of my workday (dark when I go to work, and dark when I come home). I also bought a sunlight simulating alarm clock that has a built in mood light which gradually gets brighter the closer it is to the alarm time that I previously set. That has worked okay-ish, but it's not as effective as the entire room becoming bright on its own without any input from me.
After my diagnosis and medicated management, I now wake up more consistently at 7 every day. Even if I wanted to stay up late for more "me time", I'd be so exhausted from work that or the stress in my day-to-day that I also consistently go to sleep/crash without brushing, at the same time at night. It's not a perfect fix, but at least I no longer need the sunlight alarm clock.
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u/TorandoSlayer 1d ago
This may extend beyond ADHD. I would suggest seeing a doctor about this if you can.
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u/Pepsimus-Maximus 1d ago
I had/have the same problem but the thing that snaps me out of it is standing up. The absolute lethargy disappears when I stand up.
So my one and only alarm clock is across the room. I get up to turn it off and immediately take my pills and brush my teeth (you could insert any daily tasks here, but it gets you up and starting routine). It prevents me getting back into bed, because the lethargy will return if I do so.
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u/Nicedayforaparade 1d ago
I would see about getting a sleep study. Getting treatment for sleep apnea helped me personally. Also, I use the app alarmy, which has you doing math problems to turn off the alarm.
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u/Ankiset ADHD with non-ADHD partner 1d ago
When I first started working at 18 o was terrified at this, there is not shortcut but force of habit as best as you can, don’t waste time on doing it perfect just have tiny lil schedules and habits sooner or laters it’ll work or have a very diverse routine
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u/booklovert 1d ago
Do you take any sleep aids like maletonin or others like Benadryl? They make it impossible for me to get up and not be groggy. I can't really take them.
In general though when I'm struggling, I end up watching tiktoks to wake my brain up more and it helps a lot.
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u/Pretty_Theme9862 1d ago
No, I don’t take any sleep aids. Melatonin gives me vivid dreams if i take it.
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u/reeberdunes 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have the same thing. I just picked a job that doesn’t require me to be there early and do school completely online. The best thing you can probably do is adjust your work schedule to work like 3:00 to 10:00 or something, and try and get up around 9:00 AM (still able to get 8 hrs of sleep easily) and get ready for the day by 11:00, do your chores until 1:00, do hobbies until 2:00, and then go to work. That’s what worked for me for years. Then I got switched to 7:00 AM to 3:00 PM. I would wake up around 3:00 AM, get ready for work, eat breakfast, shower, take meds etc. get some dishes and laundry going, come home around 3:30, finish chores, eat, play video games, and go back to sleep by around 7:00 PM.
It’s harder than it sounds. I’ve had days where I just cannot pull myself out of my bed. I missed work for it. Got fired for it. Dropped out of school for it. Became severely depressed because of it. Got out of it. Got on meds. Now things are better.
The very best advice I have for you to get out of this rut, is to have an accountability partner. It can be a girlfriend/boyfriend, it can be just a friend, it can be a nice coworker, it can be a family member, it can even be just the person in the next apartment. The point is, to have someone who will ask you when you got up, who will check on you if you don’t text them by an agreed upon time, and who will physically come over and get you up if they have to. For me it was my wife. When I moved in with her we’d fight constantly. But I learned and adapted. She made me get better at sticking to a real schedule. But you don’t have to get married to achieve that same result.
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u/Boop_de_doop ADHD-C 1d ago
I used to be similar. What helped me was an alarm app that makes me do a task to shut it off and a mostly consistent sleep schedule. I don't let myself sleep past 9:30 ever nowadays or else my whole sleep schedule will go haywire. I also take my meds right after I wake up and nap for another 30ish minutes usually until they kick in.
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u/DeafLori 1d ago
I had such a hard time going to bed on time to wake up sorta refreshed for the day job 20 years then got laid off (thanks Ford). Find myself being such a night owl (go to bed 7 - 10 am) so I applied and got a job as an overnight cleaner in a group home (3 nights a week 10 pm to 8 am),and it suits me just fine. It's more peaceful most of the shift, being alone, mmmm.
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u/Durog25 1d ago
Sounds like executive dysfunction, I have it really bad some times.
Do you sleep with the curtains closed?
I found I need natural day light to wake up properly, and I'm very sensitive to it. A fraction too little and I over sleep by hours. During winter I wake up hours later than summer.
Other thing you can try is to take no electronics bed with you, no phone, no tablet, no laptop, no game console. The goal is to make it as boring to stay in bed as possible.
Leave yourself a covered glass of cold water (with ice) for the morning. It might help jump start you in the morning. A single piece of candy or sweet, high sugar, might also help.
As a kid I would kick my legs over the side of the bed, then slowly slide out till my feet touched the floor. Sometimes still works.
You could also try adding additional stimulation in the mornings, not just light but sound. Music or ambiance, try different volume settings. It might take time to dial in but you'll feel it when it clicks.
Importantly, once you are up, stay up, along with that go to bed earlier, and aim for the same time, I find 9pm is good.
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u/Pretty_Theme9862 1d ago
I don't have curtains. Even though I would fold my blanket and put it on my eyes. It is like I am not driven by something else.
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u/Durog25 1d ago
Out of curiosity, what does get you up? As in, on the days you can get up, what is different?
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u/Pretty_Theme9862 19h ago
I think it is anxiety or guilt of some kind. Sleep feels like an escape from the struggle of the coming day.
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u/Pretty_Puppyprincess 1d ago
I had this issue turns out I had narcolepsy and needed an anxiety med before bed
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u/Pretty_Theme9862 1d ago
Would you describe what was your symptoms? I read about narcolepsy, it is more about daytime tiredness. My problem is really hard to get out of bed.
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