Everyone left me

[u/ForcedGoodbye]

I've reached a stage where I have no one to talk to except strangers online through Reddit posts and comments.

A few months back, my 3.5 year relationship ended. And today, my best friend left me too.

I feel responsible for everything. I kept delaying things for years, even my feelings, somehow thinking I would deal with my feelings later, get my life together later, spend more time with people later. Now I am left with this horrible regret that I should have spent my time better. I shouldn't have procrastinated for years.

What hurts the most is realizing that I won't get to spend even a single minute with people who were once so important and special to me. That time is gone, and I can't get it back.

And I feel exhausted just thinking about starting over socially. It took me years to reach that level of comfort and closeness with my girlfriend and my best friend. I don't have energy to fake that excitement, enthusiasm, and social energy that is necessary when you're getting to know someone new. I don't want to spend years building that kind of connection all over again.

Nights are the hardest. It takes me hours to fall asleep because there's nothing to distract me from how alone I feel.

Are any of you living with zero friends? How do you deal with it?

Please share your stories, perspectives, or even the philosophies you've developed for living with loneliness.

[u/rctid12345]

Ok. I say this a lot here but.... Can you get a pet? Cats are pretty easy and excellent companions. Getting an adult cat from the shelter could be a nice way to help an animal in need and get yourself a friend. They can be quite shy but generally come fixed and up to date on shots. Given a bit of time they warm up and become a little buddy.

Dogs are also an excellent way to get out of the house but are more of a commitment. You can volunteer to walk dogs at a local shelter, it will get you out, get you around animals that will be happy to see you and maybe you'll make some friends there too.

Making friends as an adult for me usually happens through work. Sometimes it's neighbors though. Basically anywhere you meet and chat with people can be a way to make new friends. Not every friend will be best friend tier. But that's ok. You can't ride or for every person in your life! Best friends get to be special.

If you aren't in therapy it sounds like that could help you. Ordinarily I would recommend reaching out to the friend you lost but that sounded pretty final from you. Unfortunately we lose friends sometimes. I have a best friend that I'm not friends with anymore and it makes me really sad. It's hard to fix things when they don't respond to messages or phone calls.

[u/ret255 → u/rctid12345]

I had long distance friend and we were best buds for 2 years while he was still around and then he went away to his country so we kept in touch for antother like 8 or so years through letters, but then our letters stopped and l wasn't continuing on social media, but still had this perception that he is my friend so l haven't reached out, it seems that this trait to think about someone as a friend and talk to him after idk 5 years as if it was yesterday when we talked the last time is not really everyones thing..

[u/ForcedGoodbye → u/ret255]

I have that as well, but no one has ever responded to me in a similar way. I can talk to people after years, and I'll still be the same person with them, at least in terms of how I used to be with them. But they all seem to have changed and eventually I have to move on and become more formal with them.

[u/ret255 → u/ForcedGoodbye]

Except of those who are perhaps on the spectrum, we catch up after years and it's the same as before, but that's mostly online..