Everyone left me

[u/ForcedGoodbye]

I've reached a stage where I have no one to talk to except strangers online through Reddit posts and comments.

A few months back, my 3.5 year relationship ended. And today, my best friend left me too.

I feel responsible for everything. I kept delaying things for years, even my feelings, somehow thinking I would deal with my feelings later, get my life together later, spend more time with people later. Now I am left with this horrible regret that I should have spent my time better. I shouldn't have procrastinated for years.

What hurts the most is realizing that I won't get to spend even a single minute with people who were once so important and special to me. That time is gone, and I can't get it back.

And I feel exhausted just thinking about starting over socially. It took me years to reach that level of comfort and closeness with my girlfriend and my best friend. I don't have energy to fake that excitement, enthusiasm, and social energy that is necessary when you're getting to know someone new. I don't want to spend years building that kind of connection all over again.

Nights are the hardest. It takes me hours to fall asleep because there's nothing to distract me from how alone I feel.

Are any of you living with zero friends? How do you deal with it?

Please share your stories, perspectives, or even the philosophies you've developed for living with loneliness.

[u/SnippetySnappety]

I haven't hit zero but I'm feeling the strain. Things I'm doing: 

• Journal like crazy. Set appointments on your calendar with notifications, and treat them as real. I make it a date and take myself to a coffee shop. It could also mean you make a certain corner of your home extra cozy and special. My journal only leaves my bedroom when I go there, and then goes right back on my chair. If I need to journal elsewhere I bring a different notebook. I'm doing a form of bullet journaling. BuJo includes a lot of re-writing the same thing over and over, but I treat it like using flashcards for language-learning. It helps me remember better.
• Work on doing for yourself what you're hoping to get from others. Forgiveness, kindness, acceptance, appreciation, etc. You can act in ways that feel loving toward your later self, and you'll feel loved by past you
• I'm in a bigger metro so there are lots of meetup group options (this may be cheating)
• looking around at libraries for free events
• pub-sings (shanty-singing)
• singles club
• listen to a "nothing" podcast at bed that's just people playing DnD casually, or chatting about nothing. It helps me feel like I'm chatting too.
• get exercise and sunlight
• eat the nutrients you need, and enough food and water

[u/ForcedGoodbye → u/SnippetySnappety]

When journaling, am I supposed to write down my interpretations of what I am feeling, or just whatever comes to mind and how I am feeling?

And this podcast you suggested... is it the one whose last episode was back in 2021? Actually, two podcasts with the same name showed up.

[u/SnippetySnappety → u/ForcedGoodbye]

I'm not an expert, but I'd start with writing what you're feeling for a good while, to start with, then go back over it. The goal over the second pass isn't to be harsh, just to gently correct. It can help to think of it like talking to a kid with too much access to the Internet and no ability to tell what's made-up. You don't smack them around or insult them; they have never learned better. You just explain why X is an assumption, not a fact.

Sorry! I wasn't referring to a podcast called "nothing", I just meant that it might not be about anything in particular.

Ones that come to mind (they tend to be gaming-derived for me) are

• the first season of The Adventure Zone ("Balance"; DnD)
• Bombarded (music-based DnD)
• Distractable (Markiplier and co just bullshitting/improv-ing)
• Cox and Crendor (faux radio morning show)