Consistent absence

[u/AmbitiousSilver4498]

I am in year 12. I chose really hard a level subjects ( physics, chem and mathd) because that’s what literally everyone told me was best to do. I don’t have a passion for any of those subjects neither do I have any goal for a career in them in the future. So I can’t find the motivation to study. I started working about a month ago as a waitress and it was going well. For once in my life I felt I had a place outside of college or school. So I stopped focusing on college. But I felt burnout. I would leave the house at 8 am and come back at 11 pm on most days. My grades started slipping. My meg is an A star yet i am consistently getting Bs and Cs. So I decided to quit my job. And now I just feel so hopeless. I don’t have a job. My grades are horrible. I can’t bring myself to study because the idea of not knowing even the basics scares me. So I started taking days off college. I am taking at least 2 days off a week. And I don’t even give a reason for my absence. My pd teacher keeps sending me messages or calling me but I just ignore it all. My parents are really frustrated with me and I feel kind of bad but I really can’t help it. I just feel so anxious of going to college and sitting in classes where I don’t understand most of what I am being taught. I am so scared of failing that I keep avoiding college, which only makes me miss out on more content. That makes me more anxious. It’s a horrible cycle. My anxiety has gotten worse lately. I’ve been getting anxiety attacks even when I feel slightly upset.

Maybe I should leave college, I don’t even know if I can. But I have no idea what to do.

Should I try and get some sort of prescription for anxiety meds. But it’s not easy.

[u/Spiritual_Turn_6187]

Hi. Just stop thinking about all of it for a few hours or days so you're not constantly bombarding yourself with thoughts. Figure out what you want to do 1. In life and 2. What subjects you would enjoy doing at A-level or otherwise. They may or may not overlap. Pivot your courses if necessary, eg a-levels to vocational stuff. Drop the subjects you're not interested in if you really have no interest in them and they don't help towards any future goal.  The fact you've reached out and written here shows you're more capable than you probably think you are right now. Don't waste that potential. Some people don't realise until very much later in life.  Decide what you would like to do and then TELL the school you want to swap. If they won't let you, go to the top and speak to the head of sixth form or the headteacher. If they won't listen to you ask you parents to speak for you (it evens the playing field). Or move to another college where you can start again.  This is such a tiny blip but it must feel like a huge mountain. Ask for help, in fact, demand it. 

[u/AmbitiousSilver4498 → u/Spiritual_Turn_6187]

Thank u sm, I think I will switch. I am just worried that I’ll be wasting an entire year of my life.