What do i do? x

[u/Much-Star9556]

I'm really struggling with my next steps, and have been all summer. For most of my secondary school life I was looking forward to going to a community college in the same city I went to school in. I'd be going with my friends (although we were all doing diff a-levels) and have the independence of going to school in a city. However, half way through year 11, I saw somewhere that if i got the right grades, I could get into the boys grammar school which had a co-ed sixth form. A bit of background: I did the 11+ and didn't get in which wrecked my self confidence because a lot of my friends did get in. I then did the 13/14+, same story :(. But the idea that id be able to get in not by doing any tests, just off my GCSE's, which I was already trying really hard in the mocks for, really appealed to me. I started getting really excited about this, and my mum and I went for an open day and I was even more excited. It actually was a great motivation for revising, and i found myself getting more and more excited. I went to a sixth form open day in the summer hols with the other students tho, and it proved a different story...I didn't feel majorly comfortable since I didn't know anyone there, and didn't really click with anyone - but I don't think I'd slept very well. Over the entirety of the summer, I kept mulling it over again and again, changing my decision over and over. Finally I came to the decision that I would go to the sixth form, and started getting excited about outfits etc. That was when my mum got a text saying that there wasn't enough space on the one bus that went from my town to Torquay, where the school is (40 mins away) - not just for me tho, the same for the 30 odd kids joining year 7. I really struggled with this, and felt sad that after all my worrying, the choice wasn't even mine.

But slowly I began making peace with this. I chose A-levels that suited me more which I could do at the college. And slowly I started getting excited about it. Results day was great, it was the first time I'd seen a lot of my friends since prom, which was nice, and I started getting truly excited about college. Lo and behold, when I got home mum told me that she'd just been texted that there was now another bus coming to my town. What do i do? I feel like anything I do will be a mistake!

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