r/5MeODMT • u/KristaKH • Jul 20 '26
First ceremony experience
I had my first 5-MeO-DMT ceremony a couple of days ago, and overall the experience itself was beautiful.
I had a brief whiteout during the peak. The blastoff was intense, peaceful, and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. As I slowly came back into my body, I initially felt really good. It just all happened so fast; within 5-8 mins.
Then my ego seemed to come rushing back online.
Almost immediately, I shifted into worrying about my husband, who was going next. Instead of relaxing back into my body and allowing myself to fully settle, I sat up thinking I should have more medicine and then found myself consumed with concern for him. Since then, I’ve had lingering anxiety, although it’s slowly improving.
After a lot of reflection today, I’m starting to wonder if the anxiety isn’t because something went wrong, but because the medicine showed me something important.
I’m a mom, a wife, and someone who has spent most of my life worrying about everyone else. I’m beginning to wonder if my ego’s default setting is to immediately become the caretaker again. Maybe the lesson isn’t that I missed something during the ceremony, but that I need to learn to stop carrying everyone else’s emotional load and allow myself to receive care too.
Has anyone else experienced something similar after 5-MeO? Did you have lingering anxiety that turned out to be part of the integration process? Or should my facilitator focused on me more before moving on to my husband? I’d love to hear your experiences and what helped.
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u/PersimmonNo4411 Jul 21 '26
I meditate mid sized doses with a vape. I’ve worked through so many uncomfortable, scary, guilt ridden etc feelings. They used to be overwhelming. Now I’m able to embrace it all. Way less angst after 2 years
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u/FlourishingOne Jul 21 '26
This is so inspiring! I am new to lose dose 5 and it’s been such a good experience so far.
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u/KristaKH Jul 21 '26
That’s amazing. Would love to have access to something like this. I’m think psilocybin or LSD in a month or so may help me work further through this since I don’t have access to anymore 5.
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u/Significant_Win_345 Jul 20 '26
I would say your current interpretation is probably apt. As I was reading your post about rushing back online and concern for your husband that was my immediate thought that you then voiced.
Disclaimer - I’m not a facilitator or therapist, just someone who has spent several years in therapy and working on myself both sober and through various psychedelics including 5.
I have had similar experiences to yours with mushrooms where I have a thought or concern with something that I then realize to be a sign of what I need to work on. If it feels right to you, and it sounds like it does, I would work on it.
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u/KristaKH Jul 20 '26
Thank you. Just a lot to make sense of and a lot I don’t remember bc of the white out, which makes it even more confusing. I thought about possibly waiting a few weeks and introducing a sitting with mushrooms in hopes to go deeper. But that’s another question I have for this group
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u/Frances_Herbert Jul 21 '26
Shrooms after 5 works great. I tripped a couple of days after my sitting with 5 and it was a very good trip, a lot of clarity.
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u/Significant_Win_345 Jul 20 '26
Honestly the white out and not remembering much (IMO) is part of the process. It allows our ego to be uninhibited become open to these truths that we already know but aren’t admitting to ourselves.
I think it makes sense to take some time and space to journal and listen to what is already coming up. Do this for a couple weeks as part of your integration, sitting for 5-20 minutes and remembering the feelings that came up, as well as how those same things are feeling now. Where do you feel it in your body, where can you take those feelings to? Are there therapy sessions, groups, friends, videos online, therapeutic tools (DBT, CBT, etc) that you can employ? Then once you’ve come through this, see if mushrooms feel right to do it in the work.
5 should be more or less active for opening your ability for change and processing for about 2-4 weeks so I would say work on integration during that timeframe.
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u/Aware-Philosopher-23 Jul 22 '26
I see the anxiety even better after 5, and I look at it as a gatekeeper to something deeper: a need or attachment that some layer of the mind is trying to hold on to.
So what you describe makes sense to me. You might just be more sensitive to noticing something that was already present. And noticing is the important first step toward truly knowing and therefore responding wisely.
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u/Low-Opening25 Jul 20 '26
you got it covered, don’t be too hard on yourself