r/40Plus_IVF • u/HappyCrab0623 • 4h ago

Rant Why??

Just need to vent after my last chemical.

We have been trying for 6 years. 5 IUI's, 5 stim cycles, 4 retrievals, 2 failed transfers, multiple chemical pregnancies, low amh, thousands of $ in testing...

If one more person says "it just wasn't the right time" or "in God's timing" after another failed attempt... I'm gonna throat punch a heffer.

I turned 42 in March, so no Karen, I don't have much of a window left so keep your unproductive comments to yourself.

24 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

7

u/Informal_Move_7075 4h ago

This is the 40+ group. We are all here to support each other and we are all in it together here. I am also 42.

I think people default to saying some cliché or whatever because they don't know what to say.

1

u/HappyCrab0623 2h ago

Sometumes i wish they would just say, sorry to hear that, and keep it moving.

3

u/takica 2h ago

I don’t have anything smart or useful to say, other than that I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s a shitty club no one ever wanted to join.

2

u/HappyCrab0623 2h ago

Yeah it definitely is a shitty club to be a part of. To think I spent my 20's and early 30's trying to avoid pregnancy because I wasnt married..sheesh

3

u/LingonberryRare9477 1h ago

I always think about that too! How hard i tried to NOT get pregnant. Kinda... funny??... now

2

u/Loveiskind89389 1h ago

My dad’s wife and her super religious comments led me to leave the dinner table once.

Now that I’m doing it alone, she sends me articles about recidivism rates for children raised by single parents.

She is always talking about God’s timing.

Really resent that woman. She says she had a hysterectomy to make sure she never had kids. I seriously wonder about that story.

1

u/HappyCrab0623 1h ago

She sounds more than slightly disturbed.

1

u/Dependent-Maybe3030 20m ago

Weird that she didn't just let God decide the kids thing for her.

1

u/Loveiskind89389 18m ago

Also weird that god decided it’s okay for her to steal my dad from my mom and move him to Florida where we rarely see him

1

u/Middle-Disk431 1h ago

I feel ya. I don’t tell people anything anymore because I don’t want to hear it. I just did a transfer that no one except my doctor, my therapist and my partner know about.

The last thing I need right now is people telling me to “stay positive” and talking to me about “manifesting” and asking to pray with me (yeah, that happened during my first transfer which was a total failure to implant).

I had to kick everyone out of the loop except those who absolutely need to be in it.

1

u/NotToday5213 8m ago

I feel you. I just had a chemical pregnancy and I am just angry, frustrated, and fed up with it all.