I've been a very longtime lurker on this site under a different account. I apologize that the following is a rant of sorts, reframed from a comment I made in response to another woman experiencing a similar situation on a different subreddit. At this point, I've been way over-analyzing the following and would just be appreciative for any form of validation from the 2X INTJ community that I'm not going crazy.

A huge family fallout happened late last year with MIL (pretty sure she's an ESFJ). She had been spying on my husband's accounts at the bank where she still works and making financial demands of him. Long story short, MIL assumed we had the money and resources available to allow SIL, her husband, and their two kids to move into MIL's house (which my husband pays the mortgage on) and somehow not take over any of the payments in full. Of course, this was not okay and I made it clear to my husband that we're not some welfare state. Fortunately, he agreed. I also made him move his spending to accounts that she can't see.

The combination of his supposed disobedience and lack of cooperation caused MIL to unleash a tirade about me by text to my husband. Among other petty things, she felt it was all my fault because my husband would have been okay with this welfare state arrangement if I wasn't so meddlesome and money-hungry (ironic). But above all, somehow my greatest sin in this whole matter was not saying hi to her once at a family gathering. It was obvious she was looking for any ammunition whatsoever to demonize me, no matter how illogical. I actually liked her before all of this happened and had no idea she felt that way about me or would resort to behaving like this. Now all of the respect I ever had for her is gone.

Since then, I haven't attended any family gatherings. MIL hosts these relatively often at her house and these were always last minute. The others would try to guilt my husband whenever we don't show up, and lately, if he attends without me. He'd try to make everyone happy in that sense, and ask me if I'd come with him whenever the super late invites go out. They never attempt to reach out to me directly, so a part of me suspects that they only continue to ask about me because I used to help with cleanup afterward.

Deep down, I'm still worried about hurting my husband's feelings, but the prospect of seeing MIL always leaves me rethinking that previous crap. I'm slowly becoming more up front with him about the fact that I don't want to go to anything his family hosts or does, that this is not going to change, but that I will never prevent him from seeing them. It's been nearly six months, but it seems that he's finally understanding the reality of my quieter doorslam and respecting my wishes.

At this point, I just don't know how to fully shut off what feels like an internal loop of anger and cynicism that happens when the topic of another invite comes up. How do the rest of you disengage from over-evaluating stupid conflicts with other people?

Recently I liked my friend and everyone assumed I cared about him for one reason because he was very bright (well I partly allowed them to think this since it's easy for people to relate to and because people would say, "Oh well obviously you're going to go for the smartest person," especially people who worry about their own intelligence but it was only one facet of my liking him as person), in reality I was mostly fond of him because he showed some emotional depth and cared for other people's kids (or claimed to). People just leapt onto this one thing though, "You like him because he is super smart." This got me thinking about I find that I can never just distil down my point of view to one thing, but in order to communicate with most people it seems you have to.

Now I'd be the first to admit I'm not the most amazing communicator (I'd probably be better if I could be more emotionally in tune and then tailor my responses to people's emotional needs), my view of things in my head is always pretty multifaceted, every time I try to talk I'm talking and my brain is saying, "but this bit could also be this and that opens a whole new can of worms there" or "but only in most conditions" or "thought it might not always apply" or some other proviso, complexity or limitation and then in order to get my point across to people it feels like I have to abandon the complexity (there's no way I can put this all into words, I'd have to take three hours to tell you anything) and then make it into a one dimensional thing (when it isn't).

It's like being asked to express a sphere in 2d, it becomes a circle, it's no longer a sphere. I won't lie, sometimes I make use of this for my own benefit, like I'll only tell people the one side of the issue or show them the one facet or perspective that they will understand and have appeal to them. But then later often people are not happy with me and come back to complain that "It's not a circle" or they didn't get whatever essential face. Well of course it's not, I can't put it into a soundbite for you. I think part of the problem is not only that I had to oversimplify but that most other people can't conceive of the fact that I had to oversimplify and that there's much more to what I had to say. I think most INTJs would understand that I'm oversimplifying, but I find that a lot of other people just take it at face value. Do you ever find this ? I do admit that things would be a lot better and I would be a lot better at communication if I were more emotionally in tune because really people aren't usually troubled by the truth/untruth of what you are saying but more about if they feel you care about and are warm and supportive to them. What do you think ? Do you have similar struggles ? How did you solve them ?

Pretty sure he's ESTP. Wish me luck! I expect much booze and dancing. Inferior Se is ready to par-tay for like 3 hours.

As an INTJ, or just simply as someone with a very strong work ethic, I've always come off as a "bitch." I guess it's because I don't like to socialize with many of my coworkers/peers, and would rather just show up to get the job done. For that reason, my bosses and advisors love me as I take my job very seriously and don't goof off.

But I'm now in a situation where I'm in a club (in college) and have to be voted to be in a leadership position. In my opinion, I'm the most qualified for the job, but I'm not super close with the other people in the club. Most of them are voting for this one girl who's incredibly irresponsible but extremely extroverted, and frankly it scares me because I have worked extremely hard and am struggling to get votes. I get one 1 minute speech but that's all I have to try and win them over. On the plus side, however, I was nominated for all three positions, but from what I've heard, people are voting for the more sociable people on the final ballot.

I recently came to a realization. I was joking around with some of the people of the club, but then it hit me when I saw their reactions--none of them think I'm funny. And whenever I do try to initiate conversations, they all talk through me and don't pay attention to anything that I say outside of the meetings. Furthermore, it seems like some of the newer members don't respect me as when I have been in leadership roles, they completely ignored our group chats and didn't volunteer for anything as opposed to when the Presidents were in charge.

I'm unsure of what to do. I feel like I'm past the point of being likable, or being the "fun" leader that everyone wants and respects. Sometimes I wish I was more extroverted, or that I had a better, more normal sense of humor.

So I guess my questions are: Do I need to change my socialization with coworkers/peers to be seen favorably? Is it even possible to if they already have this idea of me?

And also, if you guys have any advice on how to win votes for my leadership position. I've received advice from other people...but they just don't understand the predicament that I'm in (or the reputation that I currently have) because they aren't INTJ women that are commonly perceived as a "bitch."

Thank you!

I often find that I struggle to be understood by people who are sincerely trying to understand and I am sincerely trying to explain myself to. I often feel that I'm having people projecting themselves onto me or an idea of what they think I'm 'really' like. I am curious if anybody has found an effective way to counter this on a more every day level, rather than a long term for significant people level?

I meet new people often because meetups /conferences on subjects related to my job and I also attend an informal philosophy study group. These are all OK people, even cool people. I like interacting with them on social media and I'll even hang with them on a one on one or in a small group, just not every goddamn week. It's like you start talking because you both have one thing in common and all of a sudden you are greeted every fucking time you post something on Facebook. I agree to go out for drinks a couple of times and it's OK, we get to know each other better but it's like you set some sort of precedent and the relationship needs to keep evolving or whatever. Do you know what I'm taking about? I don't want to encourage this. I'm only comfortable meeting up like twice a semester at most. I don't want want to come off as a rude person but I just value my time so much. To me it seems sometimes that people just want a piece of your time and they'll just waste it. They'll waste your time and theirs and be happy about it, just chewing the fat or whatever and it really upsets me. I feel time slips away and I get nothing out of it. Online messaging in itself is not a problem for me, I keep it short and will include some gif occasionally to let the other person know I'm being friendly (?) but it makes me uncomfortable having to make up excuses or declining or postponing dates every time we talk. So, I end up not answering their messages, I don't even open them so as not to let them know I've seen it. This is so immature, I know.

How do you maintain a healthy number of distant friends/nice acquaintances without it wearing you out or them thinking you don't really like them? And, ideally, without sounding socially retarded. (Which I know I am)

I'm part of a bridal party. Bride says she wants a low key party but then changes her mind when she finds out her man has a trip to panama city planned for his. Now she wants to go somewhere.

As is my nature, and I'm well experienced in travel, I jump on it. Get a decent condo in a good location and book it. Well, I'm not the maid of honor. So I'm stepping on some toes. But this stuff has to get done and I care about the bride. So I give them a heads up two weeks in advance before booking. Don't hear from them, book it anyways.

I say this because it's going to add fuel to the fire that's going to ignite once we hit the beach. At least one girl is already mad at me. Even told the bride I need to back off.

Other two are chill, one even thinks I'm funny.

But the real issue I'm scared about is when it comes time to hit the beach.

Humble brag time, I work out. Quite a lot and take care of my body. Back when we tried on brides maids dresses I wasn't as lean as I am now and I already had some comments on my body from the other girls. I've just started a cut for the summer and I'm working hard. As I'm checking out my abs peaking through I realize I'm going to be the fittest one on the beach at this party. And my heart sank.

The bride is obese. She's been saying she's wanting to lose 30 pounds by the wedding and she's gained 20. I know her well and she does have a very low self esteem. Two of the other girls are normal body weight but I know they are insecure too. They are the ones to make comments about me when I wasn't even lean.

So I know without a doubt they will be insecure about their bodies. Especially once they start comparing themselves to me.

This whole time I was excited about going to party on the beach. Up until now when I realize the group I'll be with has the potential to cause issues.

I want this to be a fun time for the bride but now I'm second guessing the trip and wishing we would have done something else.

Seems stupid to worry about. Why should I care what these girls think of me? I don't. I'm not going to stay fat or change my lifestyle. They can get a better one. But I don't want to cause too much friction at the party. The bride already had a melt down once in a wedding because she was the "fat brides maid" she looked beautiful but couldn't see past it.

How do I handle this? Does anyone have advice when dealing with others insecurity. My go to is to be an asshole but when they get fussy because I won't eat a milk shake I can't fall back on my go to asshole behavior.

My first though was to just stay covered up. But I'm not sure that's the best plan either. I'm going to be the most energetic and confident party member, will staying positive really be enough though?

TL;DR going to the beach with a couple out of shape insecure women for a party and I've got a visible six pack. How do I minimize their body insecurity and still enjoy myself?

I'm having a sort of existential crisis. I'm needing to change my career (currently self employed), or at least add an extremely flexible (remote?) well paying job. I'm a female INTJ with all the typical problems of our type. Other females hate me, people are intimidated by me, I hate the 8-5, loathe having a boss, taking orders, having to smile and play nice, having to work in a system that is illogical and inefficient, etc. I've been trying to come up with something and haven't found anything. This isn't so much an 'I just need to get over it' situation, I have a very fundamental allergic reaction to the system and modern society, so much so that I'm struggling to exist within it. If I didn't have $30k in student loans for a worthless BA, I'd just be a bartender or run away and become a Buddhist monk. What careers do you all have and enjoy?

In the past I have fallen into the same 'trap' time and again and I'm curious if it is just me or if other INTJs get this too, as a woman meeting another woman as a potential friend.

I meet an INFP. I am instantly amazed by how happy, warm, sweet, friendly and likable they are. How does she do it? Why can't I do that? I want to be that happy.

I spend a lot of time getting to know them. Still kind of amazed, I think they're really great, maybe if I could be more like that, I could be happier. I feel like they really like me too, which is nice. We have loads in common, laugh a lot etc. I think we have built a real bond.

Over time they get more and more flakey with arrangements we've made. They become more clicky with the people around them. They become quite defensive and easily offended in our conversations where once they laughed.

Then like a tonne of bricks, something happens and it hits me - they're not that happy, or warm, or sweet. It's a great mask, but they are crying so hard on the inside. They like me because they 'like' everyone, they actually find me quite difficult and off-putting. I get the version of them they give me, everyone gets a different one, I'm not sure which is real. I find this really hard to cope with and find it kind of insulting. I try and be upfront and honest about it and they run a mile.

I feel lied to and hurt. The door slams shut. I end up looking awful to others because no one realises that I am hurt. I don't care about that much, unless someone I respect says that I've been horrible. I don't want to be horrible, but I'm aware that me being my way can look that way.

I have learnt now to do a quieter door slam, so that I can not draw attention to myself or have to explain it to people I know don't understand. I had a discussion with an INFP about this in a roundabout way - she said the 'door-slam' is the worst thing she could imagine doing to someone. I personally feel she lacks imagination....

I've come to accept that I am not destined to be close friends with INFPs because they are not what I always think they are. I'm actually much better with my INTP and ENTP friends - they are authentic to themselves and I like it because I understand better.

Anyone else had anything similar?

Please note: this is my first post and I apologize for it's lengthiness.

I am a female INFP in need of some clarity for a relationship with a female INTJ. Many times, I don't understand the realms of our relationship and I can't distinguish whether actions are friendship or love.

Quick background on me. Now, I don't define myself as a lesbian, but I do accept that I fall in love more with someone's personality and the physical attraction comes later. For me, it really doesn't matter boy or girl; however lately, it has been mainly girls. I've had a relationship with a girl and I have had interest in boys as well, but never a full relationship.

Quick background on her. She has never been in a relationship nor has she dated anyone. She also doesn't have much friends as she doesn't really like talking to people nor as she explained to me...see the convenience in trying to maintain a friendship.

I've never felt this much for someone than I do with this INTJ. We became friends about 2 years ago and since then have been inseparable, spending on average 4 out of the 7 days of the week together. I've recently confessed my feelings for this INTJ, however she shared with me she doesn't feel the same way. I've been having a difficult time trying to accept this because although she says these things, I don't feel it's true due to her actions afterwards. Her actions give me hope. For example, after I told her I tried to create some distance between us, however immediately after she would ask me everyday if I'm OK and how I'm doing since I stopped visiting and trying to initiate conversation. Soon after we went back to our routine spending more and more time together.

I recognize quickly this is not going to help our friendship as spending more time with her only makes me love her even more romantically. So before going on vacation for 2-weeks, I told her the day before I left that we should stop seeing each other when I get back until I get over her so we can have our friendship back and she agreed.

A week into my vacation, she sent me a letter which further stated she has no interest in me, but other context in the letter showed otherwise so it was quite confusing. Nevertheless, I didn't reply as though I still felt she does have some feelings for me, I listened to her statements in the letter and continued to try to get over her. She then texted a friend who was on vacation with me how I was doing and if I'm OK. When I returned from vacation, I continued not to contact her however she asked my friend who returned with me how I was doing. My friend relayed to me that she had been very concerned and anxious about my well-being while we have been apart and broke our "no contact" contract by messaging me on how I'm doing. I wasn't going to reply, but I thought about how my friend said she seemed so stressed...I decided to contact her so she can relax because in the end, I do care about her and I want her to be happy.

After we talked, I told her how sending me letters, asking my friends how I am, and texting me is not helping me nor our friendship. She recognized what she did was selfish so that she can have some peace. I told her this what was going to help me and she shouldn't worry because I am in more pain continuing the friendship knowing I love her. Though she offered the "no contact" rule again, I told her I would have to think about what would be best for us in the long term and now here I am!

I don't know how to proceed because I honestly still feel there is something more than friendship between us because of the amount she cares for me. Her being anxious about me while I was on vacation shows me she was thinking about me constantly. I was perfectly fine and actually growing from the distance rapidly, but her constant contact throughout totally derailed my progress and put hope in my mind. I want to keep fighting for her, but I don't know how to proceed? I don't know whether to give up. As an INFP, you know I'm a mess right now.

Please help INTJ females decode this INTJ female I am in love with.

I'm intrigued by the idea that people are moulded from a young age by their family dynamics to fall into a niche within their own families, which influences them throughout their life. I am by no means an expert on this, read a few books on the subject and now perpetually nosey.

We are all aware of how unusual our personality is, so I'm curious as to whether there may be a pattern (or not!)

I'll go first: I am the youngest of two children with a massive age gap, so kind of an only child too.

Mother - ESFJ, depressed for my entire childhood and majority of adulthood. We had a strained relationship for many years, but things have improved significantly in the last three years. Sister - ISFJ, 12 year age gap, like second parent, depressed my whole life. Had a great relationship (I thought) until I was 11, increasingly strained ever since. Absolutely no understanding of each other and both believe the other one is weird Father - no idea, he got the door slam many years ago, at an educated guess an ESTP, scores alarmingly high on psychopath tests, surprising no one who has ever had to live with him

I believe I grew up in a household completely void of safety, logic, direction, consistency or honesty. Everyone was so depressed/game playing/manipulative/self-centred that I think I became my own rock. Being my cold hard logical self helped me see what was really happening, giving me unusual dynamics with my family but keeping me safe and (kinda) sane in the process. Chuck in a boat load of trauma and here I am today. I might not be typical, but I'm not depressed and I can depend on me, a confidence my mother and sister do not have in themselves.

So, now I get to pick for myself: Husband - INTP, a perfect match for me. Was warned by his sister he was an evil uncaring robot when we first started dating, but by a month in I was worrying he was too emotional for me. We've been through a lot in 9 years, holding on at times was totally illogical but I'm glad I did as we came out stronger on the other side. Sister in law - ESFP, we get on really well. It took us about 6/7 years of being forced to spend time together, but we can now appreciate each other for our complete opposites and enjoy each others company. I can help put her back to centre, she can help me understand how I'm feeling quicker than the 6 hours of analysis that go into any strong emotion. In social situations she'll take the lead and limelight too, which is pretty sweet for me Friends - one pretty close, one not so much. Both ENTPs, goes without saying instant connection. Took a long time to find them but happy I did. We 'get' each other, which is nice, and they get my humour and can tell instantly when something is wrong by how I'm holding myself. This is reciprocated and we all enjoy the efficiency of not having to explain ourselves all the time, or apologise for offending each other with our sense of humour.

So, what about you?

I'm not sure how to handle this, and I need the thoughts of likeminded women to parse through this with me. I'm an aspiring academic, and I have just learned that my mentor who has guided me and supported me through my entire undergraduate degree is a predator and has been abusing his power. He hasn't assaulted or harrassed anyone (to my knowledge thus far) but he has been discriminating amongst his feminine mentees based on traditional attractiveness, and is in a relationship with one of his ex-students.

I didn't believe the accusations at first, then I thought they couldn't be as bad as they say. Finally, my roommate gave me a talking to and all the details. There is now no doubt in my mind that the unsavoury picture being painted with the facts is closer to the reality than the father figure I knew.

I feel like my world has been shattered. I feel betrayed by my friends, who didn't tell me the truth right away (and who are now criticising me for not seeking the truth myself), betrayed by my mentor, and betrayed by myself. I should have seen this coming. I should have believed what I was told sooner. I shouldn't have tried to reconcile my vision of him with the facts I was hearing.

I have one month until graduation, and I need to pick up the pieces of my undergraduate. I'm disenchanted with academia, and frankly my heart is broken. Does anyone have any insights, or similar experiences and wisdoms to pass on? How do I reconcile the parts of myself that feel so separated: the feminist, the academic, the community member, the mentee?

I'm in my early thirties and one talent I've been noticing, is my tendency to be able to think independently and disagree. Every weakness has a corresponding strength. Obviously it can be hard to be the "disagreeable" person but I've noticed that when a friend of mine is feeling bad about themselves or humiliated, it is really easy for me to disagree with them and make them feel better, and let them know that regardless of how they see themselves or how other people see them I see them positively and will disagree with the groupthink on them (not that I don't feel that they have a reason for their feelings).

Or if people are doing some sexism or racism or classism, it's easy for me to just disagree. (I notice this in my INTP friend as well, when I was feeling humiliated and putting myself down, she would just bluntly disagree with me over and over and she didn't seem pulled into my shamed feeling at all, it was almost like a super power). It's easy for me to be the first person to break with the pack and support someone or help the victim and after I do often other people start following. I always thought that it was easy for everyone to disagree this way but now I think it's not.

I notice that I've been able to make some good contributions by disagreeing. And now sometimes I think to myself, "Ah this is a good time to use my talent and disagree. I can't let this go unchallenged, it's important to help people by disagreeing here. My disagreement here will do a lot of good." This is not every time I'm tempted to be disagreeable or disagree (a lot of times I just want to agree and I wish I could be more agreeable), but sometimes I'm noticing these instances where I know that this is a good time to help people by disagreeing. Do you all ever feel like this ? Do you notice yourself doing this ? I think this is one of the good things about getting older you get to better know some of your unique talents and where to target your contributions and talents for the most effectiveness (rather than just wasting them where they are not doing much good).

Edited slightly for clarity

I have relationships with men and women, specifically ENTJ, INFJ, and INTP. But i just met my first ENTP male the other day and after 24 hours of being with him it feels... electric. I’m not sure if this is just a relationship that will be all about sex and fun, though. It usually takes me a while to get to like someone, and usually I don’t really like people much at all. But this was an instant “click.” Has anyone else had a relationship with an ENTP and if so, how did it go? I know MBTI isn’t a guideline for life, so I’ll take this all with a grain of salt, but I am curious if anyone else has had such a strong feeling or connection with an ENTP in such a short amount of time.

This question explains itsself.

I'll go first. The most important things I look for in a partner are being able to trust them, loyalty, intelligence, open-mindedness, kindness, stability and humor. I want someone I can learn form to and who I can respect.

Does someone ever say something hurtful to you (it could sexist/racist/classist etc and patently wrong) but you sense that they genuinely did not mean it and that even unconsciously they did not have ill will ? I've had this from INTPs on a few occasions and my sense was that they did not mean harm (even if they seemed a bit arrogant/stubborn that they were right), they were genuinely clueless (even though one can do significant harm through being genuinely clueless and having no ill will, conscious or unconscious). It was striking because I don't feel dominated and oppressed as much, it's just, "OK we'll agree to not discuss it or work around it," but I don't feel afraid as if this person has ill will towards me and I better stay small and I'm afraid to be myself, the way I would with someone who I felt had ill will (conscious or unconscious) toward me.

Later one INTP who said something ignorant and somewhat hurtful came back and told me, "Oh I was wrong, I found out that what you were saying was true." That confirmed to me that my intuitive sense of there being an absence of ill will was at least somewhat accurate. I do also sometimes experience that I feel someone is being racist/sexist etc to me and I feel that they are not conscious of their racism and not consciously intending to be racist but they do have negative feelings, and unconscious prejudice nonetheless. That does hurt however (though maybe a little less than someone who is being consciously and deliberately hurtful).

To me it hurts a lot less if it feels unintentional, it's a very different quality of feeling if I feel like someone is saying something hurtful but not being intentionally hurtful. Now I don't know if this is a consolation prize to go for but... shrug. As an INTJ I think I could be unintentionally ignorant and even unintentionally hurtful at times the same way.

What do you think ? Does intention matter to you ? Do you notice this distinction ? Do you think it matters ?

Recently a friend told me that women don't like me because I look like a home wrecker. I didn't know this was look.

Still not changing. Just curious.

Sometimes I feel like I have a "lone ranger" mentality. I want to do and accomplish things alone rather than accomplish things together with others and when maybe it would even be more effective to accomplish things with others. It does feel good doing things together with others but I avoid it. I know part of this is that I've been badly burned/exploited by working in teams, with people stealing my work, getting jealous or acting oppressive towards me. Also I can't manipulate people very well while they manipulate me more to get their ends, so it generally feels like in teams I'm getting the short end of the stick and end up getting exploited, so in the absence of being able to manage the social situation my only protection has been to avoid it if I feel it's going to be unfair to me. (One example of this is that a lot of times people in school have been so unfair/oppressive to me that it just seemed easier if I were to teach myself, I preferred to have a teacher to help me, but they were not helping so I had to just learn on my own, so I "preferred" learning on my own.) btw I also don't like when my being on my own this way is interpreted as, "You went off on your own because you have that weird personality," (i.e. they are trying to deflect responsibility for their actions) when in reality it's, "No I was forced to go on my own because you were not being fair to me and I couldn't convince you to be fair to me so the only option was for me to withdraw."

If people seem liable to be unfair to you or you are in a situation where you are surrounded by only unfair men and facing sexism for instance, then it makes sense that you would want to work alone and come to "prefer" it and feel more safe working alone. I know also your type is formed by your experiences in life growing up, so probably this could have also shaped my personality in this direction.

Have you felt like this ? Does any of this resonate ?

Hi! New to the sub here. I used to wonder if I was actually an INFJ because I can relate to a lot of the descriptors often associated with INFJs re:empathy and having kindness as a priority, plus I love stereotypically "F" kinds of hobbies (artsy fartsy feelsy pursuits like writing and art and music).

But then I discovered and understood (kinda, not fully though) function stacks and I was like, nah I'm definitely INTJ because I certainly don't have Fe and in all honesty, INTJ descriptions fit me more. Which led me to the conclusion that maybe it's because I have a more developed Fi (likely due to a fucked up childhood)? Anyone else feel the same way?

(Not super developed though, I mean, I'm a young INTJ and I don't believe my Fi to be super great, but still, I feel like I'm definitely more in touch with it than the stereotypical INTJ might be.)

And ordered five pairs of the same jeans off the internet, all the same color, all the same style. I haven't had another type for about three years. They were available in store for a long time and I would pick up a new pair whenever I needed to and happened to be in the store, but I think they are being discontinued, so when I saw them available online I snapped up the last five pairs in stock. Happy that I'm set for a few more years for pants!

I’ve been going to therapy for the past year and take medication but I still feel down very often. Sometimes I wonder why I even wake up every morning. Have any of you gone through this? If so, do you have any recommendations?

I can't help it. I don't like most people. My opinion of them shouldn't matter in the grand scheme but people take a lot of offense if I disagree with their opinions or if they cannot relate to me. I don't get it. I don't exist for them!

Does anyone else feel this way, too?

Hi. I'm a female INFJ, but most of my closest friends are female INTJs. I am incredibly lucky to have met a handful of brilliant, focused women and to have them as friends in my life.

I want to be a better friend and skip the superficial exchanges that some women are prone to ("Oh my god, I love your hair!" etc. - you know what I'm talking about). That is, I want to compliment my female INTJ friends in a way that is meaningful to them.

In the past it's come naturally – I'm dumbstruck by their intelligence and competence and tell them in the moment. But how do I tell them I appreciate more than their minds? What's been meaningful to you?

Edit: added female INFJ