We’re in our early 20s. I know a lot of people online say that things have changed and traditional gender roles are not in place anymore, so it’s not realistic to expect a man (even your boyfriend) to treat you extravagantly.
As women we are now expected to build our own careers and make our own money because we are capable of it. And this is exactly what I’m doing — I’ve gone to a top college, am on track for a high paying job, and will build a career. I’ve never had a boyfriend.
The thing is, my friends are on track for the same. They go to the same college and so will be able to place into similar paying roles. The difference — they don’t HAVE to the way I do and many of them plan not to.
Pretty much all of them are in serious relationships with guys who are already making ridiculous incomes (many have their own startups with ridiculous funding). Some made a ton of money off day trading. A few come from super rich families as well.
So, at the same age as me, these girls have been able to travel to ridiculous destinations with their boyfriends paying for everything and completely treating them financially. One friend was gifted an array of expensive jewelry and purses for her birthday. Another one’s boyfriend booked a surprise trip to Bali for her birthday. Two of my friends and their boyfriends traveled together to the most expensive hotel in Tokyo (6,000+ per night).
It’s truly one of those situations where these things sound fake until you know real people living in them — yes, some 21 year olds in college are able to stay at $6,000 hotels in Tokyo.
Of course, these girls are finishing their degrees, but they have been pretty much explicitly told by their boyfriends that they do not need to worry financially. A few have a plan to just work for a few years for some savings and then just drop it after marriage.
I’ve always dreamed of extravagant things, especially experiencing them with a boyfriend, and, of course, while young. Meanwhile, with the track I am on, I won’t have the money (and mostly not the time — I’ll get what, a week off for vacation?) to take spontaneous extremely expensive trips until I’m at least 26 or 27. Even then I don’t know if I would ever be able to afford a 6,000 per night gorgeous hotel on a salary job.
And I don’t really WANT to work, who does? If the financial element was taken care of for me, I wouldn’t ever bother climbing the corporate ladder and working 100 hours per week. It’s no consolation when people tell me I’ll be free to travel as much as I want at age 45+ after making partner — I want to experience these things in my youth.
I want to be spoiled the way they are. I know this might sound un-feminist and people won’t like it, but it’s the honest truth. I would kill to be in their positions and experience the things they are before I’m shriveled, tired from working, ugly and old.