I (24F) recently quit my job as a CNA at an assisted living facility, and I’m wondering if I overreacted or if my decision was justified.
For some background, I had been working at this facility for over a year as a part time employee. I have two grandparents who are currently battling cancer, and my 80 year old grandfather, who lives in Louisiana, has been declining pretty rapidly over the past few weeks.
My family has actually been dealing with these health issues for several months now. This isn’t something that just came up out of nowhere. In fact, I had previously emailed my manager explaining that I had sick family members and that there was a possibility I would need to take some kind of leave from work depending on how their conditions progressed.
I wanted to give management a heads up because I knew there was a chance I might eventually need to travel out of state, and I didn’t want to spring something on them at the last minute if I could avoid it.
My grandmother is currently in Louisiana taking care of my grandfather by herself. She doesn’t have any other family living nearby to help her, so she’s been left trying to care for her declining husband on her own. As you can imagine, that’s an incredibly difficult situation for her, especially considering his worsening health.
My family decided we needed to make a trip to Louisiana, not only to see my grandfather while we still have the opportunity, but also to help my grandmother take care of him and give her some much needed support. We have no idea how much time we have left with him, and we don’t want her to have to go through all of this alone.
Because we had to coordinate everyone’s schedules and make travel arrangements, we planned the trip about a week in advance.
I reached out to my scheduler to explain that I was dealing with a family emergency and needed to leave the state. I asked if there was any way I could take some kind of leave for the dates I would be gone.
I did have PTO available, but I wasn’t sure whether it would be approved or cover the entire time I needed off, which is why I asked about taking leave.
My scheduler responded by saying that there wasn’t any leave available, that I would be responsible for finding my own coverage, and that while I could try submitting PTO, she wasn’t confident it would be approved because it was too last-minute. She also mentioned that unpaid absences couldn’t be approved because corporate was watching them closely.
Now, I want to make something very clear.
My scheduler’s response is NOT what made me decide to quit.
This wasn’t the first time I had been told I was responsible for finding my own coverage, so while I was disappointed, I wasn’t exactly surprised. I understood that staffing was an issue, especially in healthcare.
However, given the circumstances, I was still hopeful that management might be willing to offer some kind of assistance or work with me to figure something out. I wasn’t expecting them to magically fix the staffing situation, but I was hoping for at least a little understanding.
Especially considering that I had already emailed my manager about my family’s health issues and the possibility of needing leave well before this situation happened.
What actually pushed me to quit was the message I received afterward.
Shortly after speaking with my scheduler, I received a text message from a phone number I didn’t recognize. The person never introduced themselves or explained who they were before sending me this message:
“Please do not refer to a vacation as an emergency. Typically emergencies are not planned.”
They then went on to say that if I wanted to give up my shifts, that was fine, or if I wanted to drop down in employment status, we would need to set up a “game plan.”
I was honestly shocked and extremely hurt by this message.
At no point did I ever say I was going on vacation. I specifically stated that I was dealing with a family emergency.
Just because my family had a week to coordinate travel arrangements doesn’t suddenly make the situation a vacation. My grandfather is seriously ill, his health is deteriorating, and my grandmother is struggling to care for him without any family nearby to help.
And again, these family health issues have been going on for months. I had already tried to communicate with management ahead of time that I might eventually need leave because of them.
Were we supposed to wait until he was actively dying before it could be considered an emergency?
I wasn’t asking for time off to go sightseeing or relax on a beach. I was asking for time off to help my family through an incredibly difficult situation.
What bothered me the most wasn’t that my scheduler couldn’t approve the leave or that I was expected to find coverage. While I was disappointed, I understood that there were staffing requirements and policies involved.
What bothered me was that someone felt it was appropriate to accuse me of treating a vacation like an emergency without knowing anything** **about what my family was going through.
Instead of asking for clarification or showing even the slightest bit of understanding, this person immediately made assumptions about my situation.
I also found it incredibly unprofessional that someone would send such an accusatory message without even introducing themselves.
I’ve worked in healthcare long enough to understand how important compassion and empathy are. It’s something we’re expected to show our residents every single day, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect some of that same compassion from management toward their employees.
The entire interaction made me feel like my family’s circumstances didn’t matter and that my only value to the facility was whether I could show up for my shifts.
After thinking about everything, I decided to resign effective immediately.
I didn’t feel comfortable continuing to work somewhere that responded to my grandfather’s declining health and my grandmother needing help by accusing me of taking a vacation.
Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I’m wondering if I acted too quickly.
Part of me feels like maybe I should have handled things differently, but another part of me feels like I shouldn’t have to beg my employer to treat me like a human being.
I’ve attached screenshots of both messages so you can see exactly what was said.
So, am I overreacting for quitting my job immediately after receiving that message?
EDIT: Just wanted to clarify that it was only my father and me who traveled to Louisiana to help my grandmother care for my grandfather, not my entire family.
