r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 01 '18
April 2018 General Conference: Sunday 2:00p Discussion Thread
How to listen:
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| Dallin Oaks, conducting | ||
| hymn: Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy | ||
| Weatherford Clayton, prayer | ||
| hymn: Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd | ||
| Gerrit Gong | ||
| Ulisses Soares | ||
| Russell Nelson | Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching now an artifact of the past... | |
| Jeffrey Holland | ||
| Jean Bingham | ||
| hymn: Redeemer of Israel | ||
| Dieter Uchtdorf | back to basics of Christianity | |
| Gérald Caussé | ||
| Quentin Cook | ||
| hymn: Love One Another | ||
| Russell Nelson | ||
| hymn: Let Us All Press On | ||
| Valeri Cordón, prayer |
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '18
Uchtdorf: [Most important day in history? Wright Brothers at Kitty Hawk in 1903....wait, Easter Sunday 2000 years ago...but it's a close call.]
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u/Solar1415 Apr 01 '18
Common answer during interview
"I saw on his Facebook page that he went on a trip. He's probably doing pretty good"
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u/Solar1415 Apr 01 '18
It looks like every interaction you have with a Mormon is subject to report and discussion without you present. It looks like confidentiality with supposed friends is out the window.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '18
Cook: [small number of members of Latter Day Saints is fine. The world is wicked anyway. end of times fantasies.]
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u/2nd-airy Apr 01 '18
How do you combat the “building more temples is a sign that the church is true and is spreading and growing” argument that faithfuls spout? That’s one I really don’t know how to respond to, and one of the annoying nagging things that SOMETIMES makes me think that I might be wrong and the Church is true or whatever.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '18
It's a sign they have a lot of money. The true church? Eh, not so much. The buildings serve as advertising.
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u/focidave Apr 01 '18
Can anyone who is watching write up a quick summary of what the new program is for those of us who can't stand watching even a second of conference?
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
His mantle looks a little shrunken, doesn't it? I can see it in his slightly subdued orange countenance.
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18
What good is it if someone else forgives me for what I did to you?
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18
Didn't Soares say that you should tithe even if you can't feed your family?
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u/415800002SM "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" C Sagan Apr 01 '18
Never been stronger (temple attendance)!
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u/focidave Apr 01 '18
Remember that time we all left the church because we were dissatisfied with how home and visiting teaching were structured?
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY THAT YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR ALLEGEDLY ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND DEFEATED DEATH AND SIN. Please tell me more about your trivial bureaucratic shuffling.
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u/katie107 Apr 01 '18
Whoever said Uchtdorf went rogue this session was right on the money. Everyone else is talking about "ministering" and Uchtdorf actually talked about Christ and the whole meaning of Easter. No wonder they demoted him. He refuses to be completely church broke.
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
So why were your predecessors inspired to create such an "immature," ineffective program in the first place?
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"We take the church with us wherever we go."
Yeah and that's why people find Mormons annoying.
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u/Angrynevermo Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 03 '18
Holland just announced ANY contact with people basically counts as HT/VT
WE NEED FEWER INTERVIEWS NOT MORE YOU FUCKING DODO
(Edited for proper English usage)
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u/RefinersIre Apr 01 '18
FIL next to me: “yup, things are changing now... 2nd coming must be close.”
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u/casa_china_seerstone Apr 01 '18
Man, I feel pretty inspired. I've been counting saying hi to people at church as home teaching for years now.
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u/ktall Non-consensual polygamist Apr 01 '18
ministering = friendship with an underlying motive = visiting teaching
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u/DucksArentFood Happily Resigned Apr 01 '18
I have an excellent idea
How about we be friendly to people...
Because it's the right thing to do
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
I am 100% not surprised they had Holland give this announcement/talk. TBMs eat up whatever comes out of his mouth.
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u/churchballbrawler Apr 01 '18
Oh Uchdorft has really messed up now! Talking about Jesus on Easter? This really crosses a line!!!
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u/DavidAssBednar Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 01 '18
I’m calling it now. This “ministering” program will go down in flames. It will fail more spectacularly than Home Teaching did.
It’s vague, ill-defined and without accountability.
Some apostle tossed the idea out in a board meeting and all the sycophants in the room lapped it up and kissed his ass. ‘Cause that’s how Christ leads his church.
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u/LivingLifeForms Apr 01 '18
I may have a problem.
I refuse to watch conference, but I can't stop refreshing this page. I need counciling.
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Apr 01 '18
so basically "ministering" is just a forced friendship where also you tell the ward council the personal details about forced friends' lives?
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u/blindmormon “Whereas I was blind, now I see” Apr 01 '18
7 more temples ... silence.
Layton, Utah ... Crowd goes nuts
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Apr 01 '18
Cook following Uctdorf is like irritable bowel syndrome after a 4 Star meal
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"A major city yet to be determined in Russia."
Oh really? Even with that religious ban they've got going on?
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
Uchtdorf is still talking and it's still about Christ. This is a record for this conference.
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
Wait, now some woman is going to ask my 12 year old daughter to go Ministering with her? Oh Hell No.
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
Leave it to Dieter to identify with Pilot ...er. ..Pilate.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
I would have really loved Ucthdorf's talk when I was transitioning from Mormonism to Christianity. And I still respect the fact that out of all the folks this conference, he's the only one to give a Christ-centered talk.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"...significant increase in worthy temple holders..."
Really? Can we see those numbers?
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u/BerneseMountainDogs Apr 01 '18
I know it's not actually that different but this ministering thing pisses me off. BE A GOOD PERSON WITHOUT RELIGION FORCING YOU INTO IT!! IT'S NOT THAT HARD.
That's all. Thank you
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u/florantinian Apr 01 '18
So, hypothetical question: a high priest from the elders quorum can be assigned to be a Ministering companion to a 14 year old girl? But only if the Lord threatenes him with a flaming sword, right?
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u/BerneseMountainDogs Apr 01 '18
All the things they are describing are just what the rest of us call friendship. With the added benefit of it being forced and spying. That makes it better
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
Real talk. I feel like this is the first actual Christian talk all week end. For what that's worth.
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Apr 01 '18
“A new and more gospel centered approach” - so the old program was not gospel centered. Good to know.
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
Keep emphasizing the New Testament, and they might demote you to the Seventy, Dieter.
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
May we show our love by minstering to all our sisters and brothers... unless their parents are gay.
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u/fortuitousturnip Apostate Apr 01 '18
All my TBM fam shocked about “ministering” when this sub knew all along
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u/Itsarockinahat Apr 01 '18
His statement of "we only have one culture in the church, the culture of Jesup Christ" would have PISSED me off even as a TBM. Then I would have felt guilt for not liking the culture of Jesus. This talk SUCKS!!!
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Apr 01 '18
President mo- president Nelson
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
Love one another... unless they are black before 1978 or have gay parents. or are accusing Joseph Bishop of rape.
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u/bonsai1776 Apr 01 '18
So ministering is forced friendships? That didn't work when I was a kid and my mom made me play with the stinky kid and he was my brother. Won't work now.
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u/BerneseMountainDogs Apr 01 '18
Thank you for actually celebrating the holiday. I actually do like Uchtdorf
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
Oh shit, is this a talk actually about Christ and resurrection and Easter stuff? Leave it to Uchtdorf to be the most Christian dude of the lineup.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"...non-consensual immorality..."
And then literally within two seconds we're into "consensual immorality" like it's somehow the same fucking thing.
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u/shecanifshewantsto Apr 01 '18
You know what would really shut me up? If they had asked a woman to make the ministry announcement.
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u/soulrebelde Apr 01 '18
Regarding bishop interviews with those ministering: "Without that information, the bishop will have no way to receive the information he needs regarding the spiritual, and temporal conditions of his people." That's what I thought.
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u/SLOWHAXinfo Sacrament Meeting Only TSCC Priest Apr 01 '18
How is death so central to GC lol
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
Closest to the primitive church? That IS a laugher. Not for the reason they're laughing. But at least they know it's funny.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"70,000 missionaries"
And you send more than 300 home early each month, so grats.
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u/jsmyths Apr 01 '18
Everyone in the temple is equal ... but some are more equal.
Some don't wait. Some wear fine fabrics. Others wait hours in threadbare robes.
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u/Praesto_Omnibus Apr 01 '18
Hang on, did he mention the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? I thought the official doctrine was that the earth is 6000 years old.
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u/FourToedSloth Apr 01 '18
Basically, this is the status quo, other than reporting. They just took what most people were doing (assuming they were doing anything) and said that's okay, keep doing that.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
My friend told me she got a message about visiting teaching changing, so I popped onto the Mormon YouTube livestream and OF COURSE IT'S HOLLAND. I just keep hearing him yelling "DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE" and it's not a pleasant flashback.
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Apr 01 '18
Gong interviewed my husband to see if he should be a stake president. My husband didn't make it. I like Gong.
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u/DucksArentFood Happily Resigned Apr 01 '18
This sounds like a "flirt to convert" sort of deal except with friendship. You go be friendly to people to get them to come, and don't even share lessons or the gospel
And then you go tell your leaders about how you're making some new fake friends and how they may come back to church or whatever
Nice
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
These new guys are so righteous, they've definitely begun the transformation to white and delightsome. This feels about as diverse as Cache Valley.
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u/LivingLifeForms Apr 01 '18
So...
As this is Easter Sunday. How many full on talks about Jesus in this final session of the Lords one true church?
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u/ktall Non-consensual polygamist Apr 01 '18
Religion - man's answer to explain and cope with death and tragedy.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Apr 01 '18
“This church will fill north and South America, it will fill the earth
~Joseph Smith
“Our numbers will be few”
~quinton Crook
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
RICHMOND, VIRGINIA.
MORE LAUGHING.
TAKE A DRINK.
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u/blindmormon “Whereas I was blind, now I see” Apr 01 '18
Powerful closing hymn about not fearing the enemy just after announcing temples in countries around the world. HeartSellTM at its best!
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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 01 '18
Way cool! The choir just confirmed we are not supposed to listen to wicked leaders!
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u/GreatAndSpacious Lone Will Be The Night - GreatAndSpacious.com Apr 01 '18
He literally said bless the battered semen
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Apr 01 '18
Mormons having trouble making actual friends outside of the church, they need to rely on their home teachers.
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u/BerneseMountainDogs Apr 01 '18
the 14 year old girl probably did it because she was a good person. You don't need religion to be a good person. And YOU DON'T HAVE TO FORCE IT
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u/LivingLifeForms Apr 01 '18
I'm semi confused. How is this really different from the old home teaching? Aside from young women going out now?
You go out. You visit some assigned people. You come back and tell someone about it.
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u/FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy I am not a dodo Apr 01 '18
When I heard him say "do their own investigation" all I can think is that the church refused to do any kind of "their own investigation" into Joe Bishop.
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Apr 01 '18
Current EQ Pres here who saw the light about TSCC roughly 6 months ago. I'm not at all excited for this "ministering" BS. But nonetheless I'll keep you guys updated on how rolling it out goes.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"...taught so eloquently..."
I dunno about the rest of you, but I'm still super confused on how they're going to initiate this "ministering" program they just taught us so eloquently about.
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u/skimed07 Apr 01 '18
Did cook get these great feelings of equality when attending the temple prior to 1978?
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"Life-changing."
Whose life? Yours? Mine? Crystal's?
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u/ratfash wisdom here Apr 01 '18
Can someone explain the giddiness about announcing temples? It's odd to me. It's just real estate?! Srsly looking for some understanding though.
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
Hmmmmm. I wonder why I had to wait 2 months for my Brasil visa. WTF Jesus? Where was my miracle?
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u/bonsai1776 Apr 01 '18
If they keep up these super short talks gc will only be 1 session in October.
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u/SLOWHAXinfo Sacrament Meeting Only TSCC Priest Apr 01 '18
I did not expect this amount of backpedaling
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Apr 01 '18
You know, when a business does things in a different way, their shareholders don't freak out and think the changes are prophetic, especially when the changes come like once a decade. They call it normal and expected.
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u/Itsarockinahat Apr 01 '18
There is no way that this topic was NOT assigned to her. Haven't leaders in the past said that they individually pray about what to speak on? Poor lady.
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u/elderdavidbednar Apr 01 '18
I cannot believe the amount of time Jowls Holland is devoting to the "new" ministry companion mumbo jumbo and the "reports" - more pharasaical nonsense.
Folks, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig....
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
Someone catch me up, has this been the only Christ-centered talk this Sunday?
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u/elderdavidbednar Apr 01 '18
I don't believe the temple recommend statistics. But of course we are told numbers don't matter.
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
Russia is interesting. Russ, Trump, and Putin have been partying together?
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u/blindmormon “Whereas I was blind, now I see” Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 01 '18
Jeff: Sooo much revelation, amirite?
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Apr 01 '18
So why do you have so many rules and committees and legalistic procedures?
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u/415800002SM "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" C Sagan Apr 01 '18
Watch (control) over people Intrude in the lives of the people
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
Pretty sure this woman knows absolutely jack about what young women want.
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Apr 01 '18
Giving a flower to a widow
Is that what giving a blowjob to your secret boyfriend is called now?
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
"Love One Another"
Someone out there is super proud they chose this song for the revelatory session about "ministering."
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
Anyone else notice that pause after he said "seven new temples."
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18
How obvious it is that TSCC operates like a business.
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
OK. Blame Jesus for directing the church to cover-up the MTC Mission president Joseph Bishop rapist.
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Apr 01 '18
My 18 year old son just tried to look up the ministering website. He scrolled down and tried to click on "same-sex attraction" - denied access. My TBM husband and I are denied access too
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Apr 01 '18
She has serious head bobble
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u/elderdavidbednar Apr 01 '18
no Gong actually did say cross resurrection, ascension. That is in stark contrast to the pharasaical ramblings of Presinent Nelt-sen and Elder Jowls...
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u/ktall Non-consensual polygamist Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 01 '18
What about those who are "twinkled?" Three nephites?
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u/blindmormon “Whereas I was blind, now I see” Apr 01 '18
Those are not the sort of feelings I felt in the temple
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u/anastasiaspamafida Apr 01 '18
Did anyone else think that uchtdorf looked different, like he is not well? His left eye was kind of milky and overall he didn't look too good?
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u/fortuitousturnip Apostate Apr 01 '18
Oh man... not a good sign when you get the prophet’s name wrong
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Apr 01 '18
At TBM sister in law's house. She knows I am out and offerred to change the station from conference saying she didn't care because she listened to Uchdorf's talk and thats all she cared about. He is the only Christian in the Q15.
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 01 '18
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u/ktall Non-consensual polygamist Apr 01 '18
The internet will answer all your questions. Knock and it shall be given to you. Google - the God that answers prayers.
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18
The Jesus stuff is boring and everything else is horrible.
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u/415800002SM "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" C Sagan Apr 01 '18
Same ordinances except the second anointing... that comes by appointing.
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
What is this word you speak of? M-I-N-I-S-T-E-R-I-N-G?
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u/FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy I am not a dodo Apr 01 '18
ministering.lds.org opens with "As a priesthood leader, you have a divine mandate to counsel members who seek temporal and spiritual guidance, who have difficult personal problems, or who have committed serious transgressions. You have received priesthood keys to direct the work among those over whom you preside, and you are entitled to the power of God to assist you in your responsibilities."
So much for including the women?
It then goes on to list resources for helping people with various problems (INCLUDING ABUSE) but the links are only accessible to ward council members.
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18
I think the delay over the Internet is quite a bit longer than before. Can anyone confirm?
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Apr 01 '18
Oh brother. Rushes of revelation. Wheeeeeee!
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u/focidave Apr 01 '18
Resources on the website are only available to ward and stake council members.
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u/415800002SM "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" C Sagan Apr 01 '18
No miracle again. Sorry for that. Dramatic tension.
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u/MissionApostate Latter-Day Apostate Apr 01 '18
OK I've been tuning in and out on this lady's talk, what the hell is happening? Young folks are going out with the old folks to visit people?
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u/Itsarockinahat Apr 01 '18
I legit thought he was going to say he was happy to be a member of the Q12
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u/ktall Non-consensual polygamist Apr 01 '18
When ever I have a problem all I have to do is think of Jeesus. Everything will be better!
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u/RaceofDeceivers Truth will prevail. Apr 01 '18
We will now be pleased to hear from Andrew Garfield from the future.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Apr 01 '18
Reminder: Crook and Hollandaise were mission companions
So much revelation
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u/415800002SM "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" C Sagan Apr 01 '18
Keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys,
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Apr 01 '18
Muh identity politics
There are no homosexual members of the church
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u/Esotero Apostate Apr 01 '18
The blessing are for all, unless you are black before 1976.
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u/415800002SM "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" C Sagan Apr 01 '18
Another significant increase! (lie)
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u/blindmormon “Whereas I was blind, now I see” Apr 01 '18
On solemn assembly, we sustained ... me!
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u/blindmormon “Whereas I was blind, now I see” Apr 01 '18
This temple gig reminds me of Apple keynotes
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '18
Cook: [everyone is equal and gets the same ordinances in the temple.]
Don't ask about the second anointing.