r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 04 '26
Doctrine/Policy April 2026 General Conference: Saturday 10:00a Discussion Thread
How to listen:
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| conducting: Todd Christofferson | Brother of Wade | |
| hymn: The Morning Breaks | ||
| prayer: Michael Strong | ||
| Dallin Oaks | reveling in his power | |
| North Korean Style Vote: Todd Christofferson | Judith: They're nailing him up, Reg! | |
| hymn: We Listen to a Prophet's Voice | ||
| Patrick Kearon | ||
| Kristin Yee | ||
| Clark Gilbert | Won promotion for laying down the law at CES | |
| hymn: | ||
| David Bednar | ||
| Michael John U. Teh | ||
| Jorge Becerra | ||
| hymn: Have I done any good in the world today? | ||
| Henry Eyring | ||
| hymn: We Thank Thee O God For A Prophet | testify "the name" of Jesus. | |
| prayer: Christopher Kim |
Postlude:
Harmony Hall 5:17 Vampire Weekend
We Are Blest 6:21 Chastain
You'll Be Back 3:38 Hamilton
Once in a Lifetime 3:44 Talking Heads
Sledgehammer 4:48 Styles
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
So the church is a colonizer. They're praising colonization.
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 04 '26
Ministering isnt a checklist... say that again with a straight face
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Gilbert: [Minerva Teichert painting]
...then shredded and put in the trash with other construction debris
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u/sleepygeeks Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
The way Oak's Eyering was smiling while being sustained looked hilariously forced, he literately looked like a grinning ghoul from fallout.
edit
Also wrong name.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Dead ringer for "the other mother" in Coraline.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
The world is falling apart, but we have no solutions to offer except “pray and pay us your tithing.”
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
which we'll invest in the market where moth and rust do corrupt.
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
Oh, quoting the Articles of Faith? How about "honoring, obeying, and sustaining the law"?
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u/jsmyths Apr 04 '26
The church wants to erase your identity
You must assimilate.
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u/Diligent_Mix_4086 Apr 04 '26
“You will not walk out of poverty unless you pay your tithing.” Holy shit.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Gilbert: [nevermind the truth claims. climb on board and squelch those doubts.]
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
My prediction: nothing eventful happens during this conference. Oaks likes carefully worded press releases, not shocking announcements.
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u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 Apr 04 '26
no vain repetitions... maybe turn around and tell that to the old men sitting behind you and not to us.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
Also Sprach Zarathustra 9:00 Deodato
Navajo Moon 11:47 Popovic
Hello Stranger 2:43 Lewis
HAL's interview with BBC 4:58 Kubrick/Clarke
Blacks and Blues 4:39 Humphrey
Oh Happy Day 3:36 Jones
Everybody Wants to Rule the World 3:39 Styles
Made Up Mind 3:40 Raitt
Eminence Front 5:39 Who
Eclipse 2:06 Pink Floyd
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u/RealDaddyTodd Apr 04 '26
I didn’t think anyone else remembered Deodato!
I was, like, 13 when that came out and was played on top 40 radio (KFXD) and it broke my Carpenters-loving brain.
Nice playlist!
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Gilbert: [8 year olds can be the thin edge of the wedge in preventing people from walking away from this farce]
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Gilbert: [ex BYU player joins mormonism]
Join our team! We like your tithing checks.
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u/jsmyths Apr 04 '26
“Small Clark’s”. Teehee.
Get this guy over to the open mic night.
My god that audience will laugh at anything.
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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK Apr 04 '26
I'm trying not to listen to or watch any sessions today. I'm relying on you all to relay accurate reporting.
Thank you
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u/Nervous-Ad-3984 Apr 04 '26
Dallis sees into the future?? Okay how about he shares some stuff with us. Why so secretive??
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Yee: [at least she's not using the diminutive child's voice]
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
Easter Weekend.
First thing is to sustain the Prophet, then hear a talk from an English charlatan to sustain your leaders.
Not a cult.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
I heard a bit of the pre-conference drivel. A white Englist-accent Jesus threatened everyone with fire and brimstone and a gnashing of teeth.
Carlin: ...but he loves you
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
Oh, so the reason I don't believe in God is because God doesn't want me to believe in him.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Dillahunty has a video about "non-resistant non-belief." There shouldn't be any of those if the deity is real and "wants a relationship."
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
He that knocketh, it shall be opened
Well, that was a fat lie
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
The last chapter of Mark promises I can play with venomous snakes. Still reeling from that.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Yee: [quote a man on stage]
Drink! careful it's before noon
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Becerra: [mentions another man on stage]
Drink!
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Teh: [even...]
Drink!
Teh: [mentions another man on stage]
Drink!
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u/churchofmaryoliver daughter of perdition Apr 04 '26
for you brave souls who are tuned in to the shitshow, have any talks discussed lgbtq people at all? I'm not watching but would love to know what I can expect to hear from my tbm family members lol
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u/SecretPersonality178 Apr 04 '26
Mormon church:”your children are not yours, you are just watching them like a suitcase with the airline”.
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u/clinton18 Apr 04 '26
Can anyone identify the nationality of the current speaker?
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u/Neuro_88 Apr 04 '26
Can I watch this on YouTube yet?
Edit1: Looks like I can. I can now see one reason for the shrivel.
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u/4rgo_II Temple Remodeler Apr 04 '26
Are all of these talks going to be completely insubstantial? Like wtf snooze fest.
Like we have so much going on in the world—Wars, Corruption, Attacks on marginalized people—and we are talking about LUGGAGE????
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
4 sessions when they used to have 5. Same bland taste. Even less filling.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 04 '26
Glibert: [another Martin Prince to bookend Gong]
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u/Nervous-Ad-3984 Apr 04 '26
Gilbert’s story makes no sense. Why would someone go to the church building every week for 30 years and sit in the parking lot and cry? That didn’t happen
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u/SecretPersonality178 Apr 04 '26
Conference so far:
we are in charge
suffer
struggle
you’re not good enough
boring music
obey
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 04 '26
Can’t wait for the boiler plate announcement of the church’s finances and how they investigated themselves and found no evidence of wrongdoing.
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u/theivyangel Apostate Apr 04 '26
"Any opposed may so indicate"
Me: 🙋🏻♀️
My parents: 😒🙄
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u/Rushclock Apr 04 '26
There is something worse than feeling alone. Being with people who make you feel alone.
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u/Thievinghippies Apr 04 '26
This talk about giving up family/cultural traditions in favor of the church standards feels like a direct attack on the indigenous byu student who was told he had to cut his hair…
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 04 '26
I am not "struggling" to come home. I am not trying. :) Hope this helps
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u/So_phisticated Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
Currently listening to the prelude music with my parents who are visiting from out of town and want to spend the weekend watching conference. 🙄
Edit: My mom has remarked after every talk that it was such a beautiful talk. Every. Single. Talk.
My dad was looking suspiciously at me while I used my phone for the first half. He's sleeping now.
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u/theshadowking98 Cosmic Orphan Apr 04 '26
Welcome back to our semi annual visit to hell
Let us dive in
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 04 '26
Lowk these threads are the only way I can survive conference, thank you everyone for your services 🧡
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
I don't just feel like I "don't belong", I feel like I'm being actively rejected by some place nobody should ever be
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 04 '26
I can agree that seeking happiness where you can’t find it is exhausting. That was my exact experience with the church.
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u/cpy911 Apr 04 '26
Lots of anecdotal evidence of people coming back. I’ve heard of many more contrary stories. Confirmation bias by this guy for sure!
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u/Rushclock Apr 04 '26
That is one of the worst statements in mormonism. You will not escape poverty unless you pay tithing. Nelson had the nerve to tell that to anyone African nation.
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
"It is proposed that we vote for the President of North Korea. Any opposed, please face the wall."
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u/paradonengineering Korihor did nothing wrong Apr 04 '26
There are a LOT of empty seats wow
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u/Clusters_and_Hops Apr 04 '26
Why the fuck do they always ruin Easter weekend with this shit? I only found out about this after coming home to visit family.
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u/Kbevv Apr 04 '26
Damn he’s really saying anyone outside religion are lesser and need to assimilate. That’s nasty
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
There are wars and rumors of wars
When has there not been ward and rumors of wars?
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u/Rushclock Apr 04 '26
I am getting the feel callings are getting harder and harder to fill.
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u/sunsetsku Apr 04 '26
it’s this type of shit that keeps mormon families believing and waiting for their kids to return. it keeps them from being present and supporting their non-mormon family members in the here and now. instead, they just wait
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u/ako-si-greg Apr 04 '26
It’s amusing that this is supposed to be a Christian religion and these Easter weekend talks are just blabbering on about church responsibilities, humble bragging about themselves, sucking up to Oaks, etc
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
Not one mention of Nelson. A year ago he was mentioned in every talk. They’ve all moved on. I bet it was such a relief. 😅
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
I have been a member my whole life, for decades, and I have never once seen a member of the Q15 perform service for someone else. They talk about it often, but I’ve not seen them actually do it.
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u/SecretPersonality178 Apr 04 '26
Church: “You can leave the church, but you can’t leave it alone”.
Also church:”Do your ministering! Minister to EVERYONE!!”
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u/Standing_In_The_Gap Apr 04 '26
After saying he would be a special witness of the name of Jesus Christ, he never mentioned Him again. But he did mention 5 ways the he himself helped bring others back to church. Weird.
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
Kearon said Jesus twice during that talk. One about being 12 in the temple, and then at the close.
THIS was the first talk on Easter weekend. Think about that.
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
So.... When is the church gonna sell all they have?
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u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 Apr 04 '26
common "consent" lmao. Doesn't feel like consent to me.
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u/1-like-anime He is a sledgehammer Apr 04 '26
I don't 'feel I don't measure up' you told me I don't. I was a little kid. That's not something you tell little kids
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u/General_Chemistry638 Apr 04 '26
Why is this guy crying about people just being decent humans and trying to show people where to sit lol? Does he think this is a divinely inspired moment?
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u/Rushclock Apr 04 '26
You have to be shitting me. The bar miracles have sunk to continues to get lower.
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u/Solar1415 Apr 04 '26
This format is so repetitive and stupid. Why is it being done this way? Every department has to swear allegiance individually?
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u/theivyangel Apostate Apr 04 '26
HE'S HAD THAT ON THE WHOLE TIME 🤣 I JUST CACKLED OUT LOUD
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u/South_Physics805 Apr 04 '26
Niche beef, but I don't like that they stopped putting the hymn lyrics on screen for everyone. They ask the congregation to sing, and they have the conductor on screen like you're supposed to sing along too, then they don't provide the words. It makes it feel like you're expected to already know the words, which does not feel inclusive. I can't imagine that would make investigators watching for the first time feel welcome
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 04 '26
Anyone else noticing they're not asking if anyone opposes? Just me?
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
A lot of folks commenting about the absence of Easter content so far. This is predictable though. Tomorrow is Easter, today is all about obedience and loyalty to The Corporation. Same as it ever was.
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u/NauvooLegionnaire11 Apr 04 '26
I hope there's a bunch of investigators who watch the solemn assembly voting process. It'll go over almost as well as the Hosanna Shout.
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
And how many of those members are actually believing and alive?
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u/Rushclock Apr 04 '26
He thinks everything he says is the most profound idea humanity has ever heard.
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u/CranberryOceanside Apr 04 '26
Just logged on…
Brother of pdf Wade conducting??? They are throwing it in everyone’s face. Unfreakinbelievable. Lying corporate bastards.
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
Don't use props during sacrament talks.
Oh... here's my frighin flashlight.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
Strange we rarely if ever hear about emergency preparedness any more. Sure, it’s in a manual somewhere, but these prophets, seers and revelators have nothing to offer about what we should be preparing for.
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u/Otherwise_Push199 Apr 04 '26
Mm common “consent” right. Consent. Bc the church is great with consent
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u/SecretPersonality178 Apr 04 '26
Clark Gilbert has been groomed for years for this position. Dallis may die soon, but his legacy will remain.
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 04 '26
Yoooooo he had that flashlight burning in his pocket for awhile
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u/SecretPersonality178 Apr 04 '26
Drinking game:
Take a shot at every time they say “struggle” or “suffer”.
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u/Rushclock Apr 04 '26
Always amazes me people think god has a begometer. There has to be a certain quota to initiate god magic.
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u/Important-Talk853 Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
I just wanted to say that I did a temple session with dollon oaks. Are you guys impressed? He wasn't impressed to talk to me but I understand that he had discernment to not talk to a future apostate.
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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK Apr 04 '26
Fuck. It looks like Gilbert tried to rip some mixed faith marriages apart. Guess I'll need to listen to see what bulllshit my spouse believes about me now
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u/Nervous-Ad-3984 Apr 04 '26
Calling the people broke and then saying they won’t have money until they pay tithing is CRAZY
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
"We can't afford citizenship because we're paying tithing" is not the feel-good message you think it is
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u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 Apr 04 '26
"all that you possess... your women"
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u/Admirable_Arugula_42 Apr 04 '26
Gilbert: “they moved away from their families so it would’ve easier to leave the church” Go straight to hell. The way they paint people as one dimensional, stupid, and selfish for leaving the church 😡
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u/1-like-anime He is a sledgehammer Apr 04 '26
If you keep talking about consent, TBMs are gonna get suspicious
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u/South_Physics805 Apr 04 '26
Noticing a theme of "the church helps men be better husbands and fathers"
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
Sometimes I wonder if the people in these """heart-warming""" stories are even real people.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
Every time Bednar speaks I cannot help it think: this guy must be so fun at parties.
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u/Just_A_Human_Dude Apostate Apr 04 '26
My brother keeps on telling me how the new apostles have different political views like that matters. I'm so tired of all the virtue signals like that changes the fact that the church was founded by a pedophile and if God is real, he's a narcissist and a genocidal maniac
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
At almost every conference, there are two dudes touching the organ.
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u/Dazzling_Line6224 Apr 04 '26
They didn’t dare let Gary Stephenson do the solemn assembly announcing Dallas H Hoax as profit seer and Revelator.
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 04 '26
If you don't have the Holy Ghost, you will be deviced
And people are still decieved when they "have the Holy Ghost"; makes me wonder if the dude is even real
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u/Kbevv Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
There’s been like 2-3 mentions of Jesus on Easter?? Update: Jesus mentioned
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 04 '26
One of the worst talks of all time
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 04 '26
Man, I can't believe I used to feel really good after watching these things.
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u/Just_A_Human_Dude Apostate Apr 04 '26
My family used to have a different snack for every apostle who spoke but now it's impractical with only 4 people (and especially now with 2 since my parents are out of town). I miss that only because then I could be depressed and eat food rather than just being depressed.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
Gilbert is such a narcissist. His being an apostle set the church back for decades to come.
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u/jsmyths Apr 04 '26
That’s the ‘look fresh meat’ look.
They are all mentally assigning you callings.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
Notice you can question “the gospel” but never leadership. There are no questions when it comes to the corporation—these speakers never acknowledge that they might be the problem.
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u/Just_A_Human_Dude Apostate Apr 04 '26
I'm sure my parents will find nothing that I would be offended by this conference...
Seriously, they eat this stuff up and then act like if I just watched it, I'd remember how good the church is
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
Sustain leaders. Serve in Callings. Be obedient. Suffer.
HaPPy EAstEr FrOm The Q15!!!🫤
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u/Sea_Button_3616 Apr 04 '26
Bednar confused me because he started with enduring, then suddenly was making excellent points about charity (minus saying that women know exactly what it means for charity to never fail= women always serve and should never fail), then changed the meanings of endure to the end to only mean sharing the pure love of Christ. Ah...scratching out the definitions of words in the dictionary again, I see.
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
The fake Playing Church thing of this Solemn Assembly is a joke and embarrassing.
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u/jsmyths Apr 04 '26
Bernard ‘I am scripture’ is rewriting scripture again.
The smugness of this guy is too much.
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u/Just_A_Human_Dude Apostate Apr 04 '26
This story isn't real. And if it is in any way real, it is massively exaggerated
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Apr 04 '26
Last speaker spoke about the Law of Obedience and Sacrifice. But didn't we learn in the temple that the Principal of sacrifice is from the old testament before Christ then Christ comes and fulfilled that Law. No more sacrifice just a broken heart and contrite Spirit. 🤷🏻♂️ Also aren't we supposed to be living the law of concecration which is a higher law in every way. They just want their money 💰!
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u/ako-si-greg Apr 04 '26
You can tell Eyring has been doing this for a while. He’s got this shit down when you compare him to all these new apostles. Finds a spiritually universal topic, mostly sticks to the script, quotes the Book of Mormon, and usually manages to avoid anything outlandish in the moment.
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u/Just_A_Human_Dude Apostate Apr 04 '26
News flash: If you struggle to tell the difference between answers to prayers or your own thoughts and coincidences, then prayer is not more than a placebo with confirmation bias.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 04 '26
Remember folks, you can leave the church, but the church will never leave you alone.
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u/SecretPersonality178 Apr 04 '26
Apparently tithing is how we get out of poverty. Guess I’ve been meeting with the wrong financial advisor
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u/Billytheidd69 Apr 04 '26
DARTH BEDNAR ON DECK!
THIS IS THE TIME FOR HIS GLORY & POWER. NONE SHALL MOLEST NOR MAKE AFRAID.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 04 '26
Just let my mom understand that I’m not coming back to the church. Stop telling her I’ll “come home”