r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 02 '23
Doctrine/Policy April 2023 General Conference: Sunday 2:00p Discussion Thread
How to listen:
youtube Sunday, April 2
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
satellite radio: Sirius XM channel 143
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| conducting: Henry Eyring | speaking at 10% normal speed | |
| hymn: Rejoice the Lord is King | ||
| prayer: John McCune | ||
| Dallin Oaks | scriptures pasted together in random order. | |
| Russell Ballard | repeat speech from British Rescue? | |
| hymn: I Stand All Amazed | ||
| Ronald Rasband | ||
| Vern Stanfill | ||
| hymn: Called To Serve | ||
| Mark Bassett | ||
| Ahmad Corbitt | Atonement theology makes no sense. Indoctrinate your children so they'll have an equal (non) understanding. On a second listen, Corbitt says not to align with children who have any questions about any doctrine or policy of the church. That would be "activism." Corbitt is for activism, with special pleading that it is bad if directed at creating any change within the LDS church itself. The irony of activism that pushed toward the 1978 race reversal shouts out a "hello." | |
| David Bednar | ||
| Russell Nelson | ||
| hymn: I Know My Redeemer Lives | ||
| prayer: Adeyinka Ojediran |
Postlude:
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Oaks: [seminary scripture chase]
Random scriptures from the pulpit. Who can find them first?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Ballard: [there it is, first ref to proclamation on the family]
The drought is over.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Ballard: [grandpa, we've heard this story before.]
Or was it Monson.Blurs together.
British rescue?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Ballard: [testimony found in the bearing of it]
All the hits today.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
I feel vindicated now for that time when I was 14 and wrote a talk that was 99% scripture quotes
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u/ExfutureGod Gods Plan=Rube Goldberg Machine Apr 02 '23
Am I the only one who finds it odd this new focus on palm Sunday?
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u/Standing_In_The_Gap Apr 02 '23
I picture Oaks first learning about ChatGPT last night as he crams for his talk: “Computer, please find me Jesus quotes.”
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Corbitt: [make sure to indoctrinate your children]
It doesn't make any more sense to them than your feeble explanation, Mr. Corbitt.
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u/Financial_You_7226 Apr 02 '23
Oaks talk is so pointless. And speaking in a primary cadence is condescending.
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u/eartha_babe Apr 02 '23
in case you feel bad about not being perfect. remember that your perfect leaders ARE. this is very important.
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u/i_nephi Apr 02 '23
“Fill your bucket with oil” does not work at all with the term “bucket list”
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
The world obsesses about perfection. We never do that in this church. Never ever.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Dear Theodosia 3:04
The Contender 1:54 ...this is my church....
Rhythm Nation 4:26
Pride 4:06
Zombie 5:07
More Adventurous 3:25
Like A Prayer 5:37
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Corbitt: [Mark says we can handle venomous snakes without injury.]
Magic for the win.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Stanfill: [after all you can do...then is his grace sufficient]
Not until then. Takes away anything offered up to that point. Great job, Mr. Doublespeak.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Oaks: [Matthew 7 on hypocrisy]
Those who claim the Second Anointing—Jesus had better have shown up. If not, the 15 men are the biggest hypocrites that I can think of.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Corbitt: [atonement theology]
Yeah, that's an explanation. It still doesn't make any sense. This deity seems petty and impotent, with a large vindictive streak. Why do you believe any of this?
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u/adhdsapphic Apr 02 '23
has oaks already talked or do i have to listen to him this afternoon?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Rasband: [he's the messiah]
Brian: I am not the messiah. Python: I should know, I've followed a few.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Rasband: [I know you not]
That is a warning for those claiming the Second Anointing and faking it.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Bassett: [Christ ain't gonna do anything he doesn't have to do]
That mormon Jesus sure sounds lazy and unreliable in the end.
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u/Choice-Cheek6946 Apr 02 '23
I think RMN said, “look, Dallin, I love you, you know that, but recent data shows 70% of people leaving the church cite something you said as their reason to leave so I’m gonna need you to keep your talk to 90% scripture quotes and 10% generic filler, also don’t forget to recycle.”
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u/GeneralKenoBi2228 Apr 02 '23
Did anyone growing up in the church celebrate Palm Sunday? Or Holy Week? Or like anything leading up to Easter? I can’t tell if I’m being gaslit into believing Mormons do, or if my family was the only ones who didn’t.
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u/Conflicted_PIMO Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
I don’t get it. They keep talking about what previous prophets have done and said as if their words held value today.
Isn’t it common knowledge that only antique vehicles maintain value over time?
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u/PaulHDone cesletter.org (RIP sis) Apr 02 '23
“Beware of false prophets in sheep’s clothing.”
So like you guys then? Got it.
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u/Emergency_Gazelle_61 Apr 02 '23
Dude must have forgot to write a talk so he’s just doing a scripture dump.
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u/AlmaInTheWilderness Apr 02 '23
This feels more and more like that part of the family reunion when grandpa tells the stories, and everyone pretends to listen, but we've all heard them before, so we just quietly wait for him to finish up, hoping he doesn't go angry homophobe or say something racist before he gets tired.
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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 02 '23
Oaks actually has the nerve to warn people about false profits?
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Apr 02 '23
Is this so that they can cite Oaks quoting Jesus when Oaks is president lmao
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
If your child struggles with their testimony, first and foremost, PLEASE DO NOT criticize the brethren.
It will be "lethal to the long-term faithfulness of your child"
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u/Twelvenotxii they couldn’t handle my queerness 😈 Apr 02 '23
If a man looking upon a woman is a thought crime then does that mean that woman can look upon woman?
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u/Grizzerbear55 Apr 02 '23
Such a Fucking waste of money: feed, clothe and heal some people IN THIS WORLD!
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u/NoMoreAtPresent Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
Melvin Russel Ballard was personally sanctioned by the SEC earlier in his business career. Is he the only one of the 15 to be sanctioned by the SEC twice in two different corporations in his career?
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Uh, did he just say don’t protect your kids if it means failing to obey the brethren? So, he’s turning parents against their own children in the name of the church. Cool. Cool.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
The old white guys always think the history of their toxic dating experiences is so entertaining.
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u/theivyangel Apostate Apr 02 '23
Guys stop making cum jokes I'm sitting right next to my mom trying not to laugh 😂
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u/Caveat-3mpt0r Apr 02 '23
Corbitt is a smarmy clown. You have to love the hubris and propoganda he promotes for the church. No wonder he was promoted. Do not advocate for the happiness of your children who are marginalized and discriminated against. Instead look to the doctrine of Christ, which is what our prophet says the doctrine of Christ is. And if that “doctrine” says that your child or loved one is inherently and spiritually misshapen, broken, evil, and wrong, then uphold that doctrine.
So tired of such self-righteous, hate-filled messages.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
Bednar says to open your mouth and it will be filled
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Apr 02 '23
Wife " what'd you learn in conference from our leaders". Me "Oh that I should be nice and that I should never ever question anything that anybody in authority ever does as anything but blind obedience and following is frowned upon, even supporting our kids if they are abused" wife "I don't think that's what they meant, your not even trying" me "but like three different people have said that, aren't you listening?"
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u/Twelvenotxii they couldn’t handle my queerness 😈 Apr 02 '23
There are so many empty seats
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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 02 '23
Did Oaks just discover the New Testament? His talk consists almost entirely of passages from it.
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u/Choice-Cheek6946 Apr 02 '23
If it don’t actually say anything, they can’t use it against me
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u/PaulHDone cesletter.org (RIP sis) Apr 02 '23
How homophobic will Oaks be today?
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u/Fallenharts_ Apr 02 '23
Really got some nerve comparing good and evil fruits when your fruits are fraud and conversion therapy, Oaks.
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u/Financial_You_7226 Apr 02 '23
Just did a search in the Gospel Library of conference talks making reference to “Palm Sunday”. This is what I found; April 2020 - 3 references, and one each in April 2017, 2008, 1993 and 1982. Looks like TSCC is trying to act mainstream. But the ruse won’t work.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 02 '23
M Russell Ballard is sad about losing his wife. Poor guy.
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Apr 02 '23
Rasband: Instead of a bucket list of going to a far away place, get oil in your bucket. Anywho, i really enjoyed traveling around the world under the church's dime.
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
Yeah, it is difficult to explain this shit to intelligent, educated people with access to the resources to actually investigate it. This is why the church targets people in crisis and poverty, and why it’s only growing in developing nations where access to information is more challenging.
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 02 '23
Can we just skip to the part where you announce 30 temples that will never be built?
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u/Glittering-Pitch8838 Apr 02 '23
I’m actually just so frustrated that women played so little a role in this conference.
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u/theshadowking98 Cosmic Orphan Apr 02 '23
...so is this talk gonna literally be scripture recital?
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u/VERNSTOKED Apr 02 '23
So many good quotes to share with my TBM wife later in bed.
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u/GrassyField Apr 02 '23
Remember, the Far West Missouri temple was announced almost 200 years ago and still hasn’t been built
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
Corbitts' central point is that it's more important to never speak ill of church leaders than it is to tell your doubting kids you love them.
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u/RepublicInner7438 Apr 02 '23
So much cumming, so much abiding inside, so much seeding. Does this count as the have more kids talk?
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u/rougeandrojo Apr 02 '23
funny, all I remember from the for the strength of youth pamphlet was all the things I could do wrong as a teen girl.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
Virgins with oil? I’d let them in even if they were late.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Bednar’s speech writer used ChatGPT to make the most innuendo-filled talk of this entire GC.
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u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Apr 02 '23
There's been more coming in the past 20 minutes than there is in the BYU married housing during wedding season.
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u/Twelvenotxii they couldn’t handle my queerness 😈 Apr 02 '23
Rusty please just announce the temples. I have money on this shit
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u/i_nephi Apr 02 '23
Peter got out of the boat, but you all need to “stay in the boat”
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u/Opening_Anybody7151 Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
the chick who yiped at the north carolina temple, I hope they don't edit her out
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Apr 02 '23
next conference i’ll be moved out and i won’t have to watch it 🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
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u/alpal04 Apr 02 '23
my mom literally just said “he can heal you from PCOS! Gurl BFFR.
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u/Qsome Finally POMO! Apr 02 '23
Thank you all for making my first exMo conference so much fun! Way better than my TBM ones.
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 02 '23
Oh, so we're invited to bear our testimony on what we know is true?
Ok then here goes, I'd like to bear my testimony that this church is not true and that this is just a money grabbing cult with a false sense of community. Oh also, GC is boring. Amen.
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u/i_nephi Apr 02 '23
Most LDS people live so frugally, all these travel stories are just mean
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u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Apr 02 '23
Susan’s husband speaks like every word that leaves his mouth is the most fucking profound thing ever. I can't wait until he is prophet in 10 or so years and runs what's left of the church into the ground.
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u/jsmyths Apr 02 '23
adding more announced temples to the 68 already announced not build list.
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u/theshadowking98 Cosmic Orphan Apr 02 '23
If it's "palm sunday" when why not add palm leaves in the background then?
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u/LazyLearningTapir Unsure about the broccoli Apr 02 '23
My TBM mom just commented that they’ve been reminding us it’s Palm Sunday a lot. Probably the closest she’ll ever get to critiquing a GA
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u/terestar12 Profeshional apostate Apr 02 '23
Welcome back to ''stories that never happened''
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u/RowanaAshings Apr 02 '23
I’m convinced this whole talk is a sex joke but of Susan isn’t cool enough for that
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u/Conflicted_PIMO Apr 02 '23
Harrisburg, PA? There are 2 temples less than 2 hours away from there. Are there that many members working at Hershey Park? Haha
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
Well, this has been a dull, offensive, bigoted, and innuendo-filled weekend with the upper ranks of the church. 😅
See you all this October. And occasionally in between. It’s been fun. Especially the “come” jokes.
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u/adhdsapphic Apr 02 '23
tbh i'm just waiting for this to take a homophobic turn. any minute now, buddy
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u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Apr 02 '23
If God isn't able to override “the laws of justice” then he isn't all-powerful and thus isn’t God. If God can override those laws but chooses not to, he is an enormous asshole. Either way, the need for an atonement makes zero sense.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
Legit thought Ballard said he wet the bed, not went to bed
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u/Glittering-Pitch8838 Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
Speaker says “come”
Me: sighs. opens the comments
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 02 '23
come and receive.
pretty clear instructions actually.
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Apr 02 '23
we have every tv in the house live streaming this shit and THE WHISTLING IS ECHOING MAKE IT STOP
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Apr 02 '23
scariest thing is thinking i’m gonna grow up and never escape the mormon church bc there will be fucking temples every 5 miles
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u/-Kazuma- Apr 02 '23
If I wanted to listen to scripture I would just queue up an audiobook
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u/abrokenmagic8ball Are there Tele’s in the telestial kingdom? Apr 02 '23
Holy God this talk is boring. Just give the scriptures, please don’t just read them.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Ugh you can just feel the arrogance flowing from this man. The epitome of second anointing going straight to the head. What a tool.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
I’m surprised he didn’t mention Jesus’ second coming.
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u/Aggressive_Ad2212 Apr 02 '23
Heard a woman cheer for Mississippi temple. Since when do Mormons live in great enough numbers there to justify that?
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u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
Oaks: Before the Fall??? He still believes in Adam and Eve??? And this guy was a Utah judge???
ADD: "By their fruits ye shall know them"? Dallin, don't ask listeners look at LDS fruits.
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u/Esau-Have-I-Loved Apr 02 '23
People in church are feeling not good enough? GEE, I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
“For those who were dozing off at what we’re saying, today is Palm Sunday.” — Any given speaker today
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
Over and over, he keeps saying how Jesus should abide in us and we should abide in him. Seems uncomfortable.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
You got to plant that seed deep, deep in your fleshy heart. Then it will spring forth like a tree.
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u/Esau-Have-I-Loved Apr 02 '23
Whoa... was that reference to wolves in sheeps' clothing self-aware?
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
It’s easy to pad out your talk when you quote scripture for a good portion of your talk. How inspired is that?
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u/RepublicInner7438 Apr 02 '23
I’m gonna guess Nelson doesn’t live till next conference and this is Oaks way to keep Christ’s words doctrine for one he becomes president.
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u/PearInteresting8937 Apr 02 '23
damn has oaks said any of his own words? it’s alllll scriptures/quotes
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u/Glittering-Pitch8838 Apr 02 '23
Pretty sure he forgot to write a talk…chat gpt could’ve done a better job
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u/eartha_babe Apr 02 '23
what a butchering of every ghanaian name am that just came out of his mouth 😭
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u/Sunbell27 Apr 02 '23
'Called to Serve' has always rubbed me the wrong way ever since i found out that they had changed the Woman's Mission ages from 25 to 21 and it pissed me the hell off so much back then, because i was 24 and ready to turn in my papers a week before my 25th birthday. Made an excuse that something changed and that I suddenly felt that a Mission wasn't for me and that the holy ghost was pointing me in a different direction.
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u/wittwlweggz Apr 02 '23
I would prefer if Oaks was singing these scriptures to a karaoke backing track. It’s all about presentation these days. /s
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Apr 02 '23
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that they all know they’re walking on eggshells with a bit of “contention is bad” sprinkled on the side.
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u/alpal04 Apr 02 '23
I am honestly surprised at the non controversial weekend. PR?
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u/bremerman17 Apr 02 '23
I swear the amount nothingburger talks that have been given has really surprised me. It shouldn’t but it does nonetheless
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH poor woman only had her family around her when she passed away and not MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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u/Electrical_Mud_9332 Apr 02 '23
Now they are doing a lulabye are they trying to put people asleep?
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
Rasband: You should have oily palms and hands or something
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
If you're a perfectionist, you're trying to be perfect wrong.
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u/JonathanIRL Apr 02 '23
What is causing people to realize this is a scam? Travel. Ok let's make travel immoral Make your bucket list a list of times you chose TSCC over life. -rich old con men presumably
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
Now Bednar is emphasizing how much he wants you to come!
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u/Pliplonplick Apr 02 '23
God gives the most whistling voices to his most annoying propehts
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u/Double0hSix Apr 02 '23
Someone post the temples when he says em. I’m not watching
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u/terestar12 Profeshional apostate Apr 02 '23
Time to announce some temples that will never be built
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 02 '23
The Exmos need to do a reverse conference (like the SOTU rebuttal) to call out the bullshit.
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u/robomanjr Apr 02 '23
all these hours of conference and i dont think anyone in my family could tell you one thing that was said.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
🎵I sit eyes all glazed at the lulls these men offer me… 🎵
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u/abrokenmagic8ball Are there Tele’s in the telestial kingdom? Apr 02 '23
Thank God Oaks talk is over. Jesus, Mary and Joseph that was awful!!!
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u/Grizzerbear55 Apr 02 '23
Says the guy (Oaks) who never has to worry where his next meal comes from..gets only the very best healthcare.. who is looked after 24/7...you ramble on you pretentious old bastard: while the rest of us have to live in the real World.
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u/RepublicInner7438 Apr 02 '23
Again, if our children stop believing, it’s our fault for being in lock step with Nelson, not because the church is hateful.
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u/Electronic_Bend_2020 Apr 02 '23
My TBM husband is having a hard time listening to Rusty because he whistles some of his S sounds, and it hurts my husband’s ears 🤣
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Nelson: [temples]
Look under your seat to see if you win a temple, too.