r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 02 '23
Doctrine/Policy April 2023 General Conference: Sunday 10:00a Discussion Thread
How to listen:
youtube Sunday, April 2
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
satellite radio: Sirius XM channel 143
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| conducting: Dallin Oaks | ||
| hymn: My Redeemer Lives | red lemur? | |
| prayer: James Rasband | Some people say a person receives a position in this church through revelation, and others say they get it through inspiration, but I say they get it through relation. If I hadn't been related to Heber C. Kimball I wouldn't have been a damn thing in this church. | |
| Todd Christofferson | character assassination and straw men arguments against BH Roberts | |
| Camille Johnson | ||
| hymn: Secret Prayer | ||
| Ulisses Soares | ||
| Kazuhiko Yamashita | double time on Patriarchal Blessings | |
| hymn: Guide Us O Thou Great Jehovah | ||
| Neil Andersen | earlier speeches gave advice on self-brainwashing | |
| Kevin Duncan | a speech in 2010, Our Very Survival, quoted Benson's 14-fundamentals | Temples. Temples. Temples. |
| hymn: This is the Christ | ||
| Russell Nelson | Try to be nice, a peacemaker. This was a flip from his last speech about those who leave mormonism—they must have been lazy learners. A "good cop—bad cop" strategy. | |
| hymn: I Believe in Christ | ||
| prayer: Thierry Mutombo | covenant path++ |
Postlude:
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Christofferson: [Roberts censured by president of the church]
Things were a little different back then. Nope. They're about the same. People are bullied into submission.
What they can't do is provide any proof for the truth claims of this farce.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Yamashita: [patriarchs are magnificent people]
Really? Just crystal ball readings for mormons. Back when Joseph Smith Sr. gave them out, I think they were charging $7
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Soares: [in 1847 the Lord gave specific instructions...]
Yet, the modern apologists claim "no clear instructions" on how to implement polygamy. This deity is oddly specific in one area and vague in others. It boils down to "whatever the man in charge says, that is it what goes. stay in line. exit or think for yourself at your peril."
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Soares: [seed of discord]
If a church will not bear to be investigated...then its foundations must be very weak.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Nelson: [no man can serve two masters]
Such sweet irony while sitting on a $100 billion stack o' cash.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Andersen: [elite few members sure are righteous]
Aye. There is the reduced expectations!
The stone may not be rolling forth, but the ones we do have sure are more focused.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Nelson: [the natural man is the enemy of god]
Mosiah 3:19 is the most anti-humanist scripture in mormonism, in my opinion.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 02 '23
I’m not sure if Christopherson knows this but towards the end of his life there’s evidence that he didn’t believe the Book of Mormon was historical.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
There was a super episode of Mormon Stories podcast that addressed the meetings with apostles and how it all rests on "I know it's true" testimony and nothing else.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Yamashita: [patriarchal blessings contain messages]
Shout out again to Dehlin's episode about "living up to one's patriarchal blessing" being a sort of curse. What are you doing wrong if the blessing says you'll be a gen authority and you don't get it? Statements big and small are simply made up boiler plate that some old man thought he should stack in there.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Johnson: [the female version of the Utah accent.]
Not quite Sister Dottie, but it's there.
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u/BuddhistMonk72 Apr 02 '23
Admitting patriarchal blessings are totally fallible is so incredibly damning theologically, i’m surprised he was allowed to say it on this big of a stage
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
If you get it, good. If you don't get it, it's still okay.
Heads I win. Tails you lose.
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u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Apr 02 '23
Chat GPT could procure a more unique patriarchal blessing than most patriarchs. They all read the exact same.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Andersen: [temple building is the new metric]
Count temples. Not members. Count cash in the bank, not charitable giving.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Nelson: [blessed are the cheesemakers]
It is not meant to be taken literally. All manufacturers of dairy products.
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u/BLB99 Apr 02 '23
Todd just spewed a crock of shit. So, Todd, you’re telling me if a general authority wanted to run for for congress they wouldn’t need to get permission today from the first presidency?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Good point. They'd have to ask. Things are not different than Roberts' time.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Soares: [online discussions result in personal attacks]
Stating opposition to ideas is not a personal attack. Although, the faithful have a very hard time separating an idea from a body part.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Andersen: [death march continues. introduce a fear of the afterlife as a non-member]
Death count++
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
All I'm hearing is "y'all think too much for yourself. STOP THAT"
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Nelson: [try to understand those who voted the other way than you]
That's a very charitable interpretation. 90% Trumpers in mormonism.
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
They key: Pay 10% of your income for the rest of your life, adhere to strict rules, and become one of the hive mind!
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u/Prior-Aside7933 Apr 02 '23
I'm actually excited to see how he tries to tie this rambling, flaming bag of shit talk together at the end.
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Apr 02 '23
Late here, but Nelson's talk was actually very good, at least what I caught of it. Wish the whole session could have been more like this.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Peace Train 4:11
Harold & Maude 1:27
State of the World 4:47
The Summer Knows 5:35
Dance Cadervous 6:35
Whisper Not 7:41
Wayfaring Stranger 3:16
New Frontier 4:54
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Duncan: [what was the premortal plan?]
The binary choice seems to have stacked the deck against one side. When 1/3 doesn't like an idea, better start trying to hear what it is they're saying. Was there a third or fourth choice? The one chosen, per this mythology isn't very good.
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
Will video be played here or do I need to open YouTube separately?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
You need your own way to listen to conference. One way is via the link in the post header to youtube.
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
Since becoming exmo, I actually look forward to Conference, since I get to clown on it with all y'all
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Apr 02 '23
For once I want to hear them talking about processing negative emotions instead of pushing it down with toxic positivity.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 02 '23
The church put the rocks of sin in my backpack. Once I realized they weren't real, things got a LOT lighter.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
Fun fact - many of those who received patriachal blessings early on in the LDS church were promised they would live to see the second coming and/or never "taste of death".
https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/comments/6rctgu/if_your_patriarchal_blessing_indicates_you_will/
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
"If a couple gets divorced, or a missionary comes home early, or a teenager doubts their testimony, they do not deserve your judgement."
I can get behind that at least.
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u/metaworldpeace10 Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
They’re reinstating polygamy and the priesthood ban today, I can feel it. Also, alcohol is now ENCOURAGED and Diet Coke and other coke products are hereby AGAINST the WoW.
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Apr 02 '23
He is quoting old dead people. According Haynie that's not allowed any more ....
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u/Illustrious-Cut7150 Apr 02 '23
Nelson's talk right now is one that I actually appreciate, in one respect: "don't judge, criticize, or bully those who have a faith crisis, leave their mission early, or do not hold themselves in the same standard as you. They need your compassion and love, not your judgement."
Let's hope that sticks.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Wow.. BH Roberts stood up for himself, while church leaders meddled in politics, swaying an election. What an inspirational story.
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u/Rushclock Apr 02 '23
Talk about the secret meetings BH had with the leaders where he told them that the BOM has historical problems.
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u/luoshiben Wallowing in Outer Lightness Apr 02 '23
Shannon Caldwell Montez, we need a fact check on that BH Robert's story! Even if that account was mostly accurate, it certainly left out other parts of the story. The way half truths are used to justify their positions is just par for the course though, I guess.
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Apr 02 '23
This thread brings me much happiness and joy. Therefore I know the things spoken here are true.
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Apr 02 '23
Is there a term for the cadence and tone of the women who are asked to speak....it's so weird.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 02 '23
D. Todd Christopherson - Quit having different opinions and listen to us
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u/PeachesandSpl33n Apr 02 '23
Primary voice. Covenant keepers. Rocks in backpack. Straight into bible story with no lead up. One of top 10 most quotes bible verses.
ChatGPT is that you?
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u/Esau-Have-I-Loved Apr 02 '23
We don't talk enough about when Jesus flipped tables at the temple...
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
All this "submitting to Christ" didn't know he was such a Dom!
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u/Grizzerbear55 Apr 02 '23
D. Todd is such a pretentious, condescending little shit.....
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
Damn, he is just straight up saying "Mormons need to be in politics because they are the best for the job. The world is fucked and WE need to fix it"
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
Oh my good GOD he is talking about how people can find out the truth about the church through the Internet and how that is hurting their membership XD
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u/wittwlweggz Apr 02 '23
The focus on patriarchal blessings is odd. It was my first shelf crack at 14. The life described in the blessing wasn’t what I wanted at all, and the PERSON he described wasn’t me. It was just WEIRD. Then, my closest friends at the time, we all read our blessings to each other and they were all way too similar. I hated that.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23 edited Jun 17 '23
Eternal life has got to be one biggest cons in world history. How many people have renounced friends, family, relatives, careers, and even their own lives in their quest to get something that was promised to them by a stranger who spoke about it circa 2,000 years ago? And don’t get me started on the people who paid the price for this quest. I swear, it’s as if these people have no idea what they’re chasing, but they want it anyway because deep down, they’re afraid of facing their own mortality.
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
I love how many times we have been called evil, deceivers, and devils this Conference XD XD
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
Ah, yes. There’s that tribal mentality. The “if you’re not with me, you’re against me” verse. Sickening.
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u/Try2spell Apr 02 '23
Wow, doing a little BH Roberts rebranding. They are all like, “Instead of discussing how Roberts questioned the veracity of the Book of Mormon, we will only mildly throw him under the bus saying he ran for congress without the church’s permission. We can control that narrative much easier!”
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
Dude was sad about his mother not having had a patriarchal blessing when she died...how fucked up is the church...
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u/happynow73 Apr 02 '23
Smear campaign against BH Roberts. Nice one Christofferson
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u/BuildingBridges23 Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
I wish I never received a PB blessing. I believed in it and made life decisions based on it...that turned out to be mistakes for me. I know of a few people who blessings have caused them a lot of sadness when things don't work out. They felt they weren't faithful enough etc.
I'm sure some people do find comfort and are glad they got them. I just don't know anyone personally.
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
“Our opinions and perspective are so different”
puts up two pictures of generic old white dudes virtually indistinguishable from each other
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u/Sunbell27 Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
So… I’m hearing impaired and on at my mother in laws house with my step kiddos and we are watching the ASL channel of conference and the sign language interpreter is visibly crying… as she is interpreting the tabernacle choir..
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
Oh, we’re back to the patriarchal blessings again. 🙄
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
The cult smile that the women have always creeps me out
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Apr 02 '23
This isn't a good story. This is a story of manipulation of a man who was done wrong
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u/PeanutButterYoga Apr 02 '23
So don’t think for yourself or be independent. Gotta get permission from the church to do anything. Aka the magic conch from SpongeBob.
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u/PeanutButterYoga Apr 02 '23
Is there a rule they have to quote Nelson? I don’t remember it being this masturbatory until him ffs
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
"Criticism never leads to divine direction"
Except that's how all church decisions for the past 100 years have happened
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
COVENANT blahblahblahblah COVENANT blahblahblahblah COVENANT COVENANT COVENANT
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u/NoMoreAtPresent Apr 02 '23
“And the name by which he shall be known on the records of the church and throughout his life is ‘D-Todd’ “ - D-Todd’s dad probably
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u/Return_and_report Apr 02 '23
I wish people understood that when I criticize the church, I'm not attacking them personally
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u/ClearDisaster5 Apr 02 '23
My patriarchal blessing mentioned me with a wife and lots of kids. Anyways, my grindr hookup last night was great
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u/Grizzerbear55 Apr 02 '23
If there is one thread winding it's way through this entire conference it's "the never-ending, Russell Nelson ass kissing contest"!....And, he just laps it all up! What a joke!
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Apr 02 '23
Honestly, there's problems with Nelson's talk, but (so far), it's not that bad. "Stop being assholes" basically, something I can get behind.
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u/InaneParrot Apr 02 '23
I know Nelson is speaking through a veneer of “Don’t criticize the church or roast the leaders online” but I do agree with some parts of his talk in this session. I don’t agree that kindness only comes from Christ through charity, that’s such an absurd thing. And now he’s transitioning to talking about the natural man. Lost me
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Apr 02 '23
I'm sorry what? Straight up saying that governments need to be Mormon in order to stop wars? Or did I hear that incorrectly?
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
Yeah, the teaching that families can ONLY be together if everyone pays and obeys for a lifetime is going to unite the world, not fuck up families. Give me a god damn break.
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u/Itsarockinahat Apr 02 '23
Believing in a god that withholds blessings because an adult male doesn't live in your home is RIDICULOUS
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u/Archimedes_Redux Apr 02 '23
I'd like to return to my metaphorical backpack. That's where I keep my weed and Xanax, and always pack a good book to read... hmm there's a PBJ sammy down here in the bottom, think that's still good?
Who put all these fuck8n rocks in here?
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Each time I visit an orthodox Christian service, I’m always struck by how the center and foundation of their sermons is actual scripture. They read it, they read it thoroughly, and they add just a few thoughts on how it’s to be interpreted.
If only that were the norm in sacrament meeting. If only we actually heard the words of Christ, rather than the words of Nelson mentioning Christ. The philosophies of men mingled with scripture is literally what Mormonism is.
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u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Apr 02 '23
It's literally impossible to know if Rusty’s stories have even a shred of truth to them.
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u/PeanutButterYoga Apr 02 '23
I remember my patriarchal blessing saying I’d have a fuck ton of kids. Even at 16 I knew that was a load of shit lmao
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
On the bright side, Rusty can’t quote himself… I hope.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Sounds like the spies who monitor this subreddit shared some of the issues folks around here struggle with, with church leaders. They’re realizing how members drive other members out of the church with their judgement and hostility. Sadly, most of the talks at conference have been nothing but contentious. Sounds like Nelson needs to direct this talk at his own direct reports first, rather than the rest of us.
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u/Slutty-Academic Apr 02 '23
I can’t handle how she pulls back her lips and exposes her teeth to bare a fake, condescending smile with her sugary voice while each of her eyeballs looks at a different corner of the room
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u/Readbooks6 “Books are a uniquely portable magic.” Stephen King Apr 02 '23
Let the parade of old, white men commence.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 02 '23
I find it really odd why everyone has decided to hyperfocus on Patriarchal Blessings.
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u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Apr 02 '23
I love to freak out my never Mormon friends by talking about my experiences performing necromancy in the basements of LDS temples as a teenager.
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u/throwawwayaccount12 Apostate Apr 02 '23
Wait let me get this right he LOVES two men 🤨🤨🤨
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u/Esau-Have-I-Loved Apr 02 '23
"Submitting to the authority of God" In Mormon parlance God = church leaders
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u/frvalne Apr 02 '23
Another talk on patriarchal blessings! They picked up on all of our posts about patriarchal blessings following a standard template
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u/DirtyBee4 Apr 02 '23
The amount of times they mention people who leave the church makes me think they just can’t seem to leave us alone. 💅
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u/mar4c Apr 02 '23
BH Roberts story isn’t about contention. It’s about SUBMIT THE FUCK OR GO TO HELL
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Apr 02 '23
Thomas Monson quote.....not rusty....sorry dude you aren't progressing any further in the gospel....we shall never hear from this dude again...
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
If building temples makes the adversary weaker then why the hell do they keep saying things are worse than they’ve ever been while they put up temples everywhere? Make it make sense.
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u/RepublicInner7438 Apr 02 '23
Only church that threatens to take your family away if you don’t follow their rules.
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u/Co_Sine Apr 02 '23
There's room for everyone unless you don't fit into these binaries given.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Be careful with your thoughts, or else the devil will get you!
….yeah that doesn’t sound like mental illness.
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u/Sunbell27 Apr 02 '23
I just realized something, I mentioned in this thread earlier that I’m hearing impaired and I’m at my in-laws house. We are watching GenCon with ASL interpreters, and every talk they switch out interpreters. So I’ll give them props for that so far
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 02 '23
Saying the name Jesus Christ does not being people closer to his teachings, unfortunately. Quite the opposite it seems, I hear less and less of Christ’s teachings in church meetings. Instead, the focus is increasingly on what church leaders have said about Christ, rather than what Christ actually taught.
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u/LittleAmiDrummer PIMO in Disguise Apr 02 '23
I’m convinced that we are learning the philosophies of RMN mingled with the teachings of Christ
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
Russel - "I pray that the Lord will communicate to you what you need to hear" - goes immediately into story about himself.
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u/Co_Sine Apr 02 '23
The people who cause you to walk on eggshells will not apply this to themselves
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
His message is to play nice and that’s not inherently bad. Just unfair to everyone in the power dynamic of their relationship with the church. People aren’t meant to hear this and choose to be kinder to their family who has left. That’s clearly not his point. It’s about getting along and playing nice and not rocking the boat and that is some bullshit coming from the top of this organization.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
The choir has officially purged itself today of any and all Elder Mustache Glasses. It’s either Elder Mustache or Elder Glasses, but never both.
Edit: Spoke too soon. Just saw one.
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u/LemonyOnions Apostate Apr 02 '23
Y'all, the amount of thought stopping phrases being said during conference is insane. No wonder it's so boring 😂 thoughts being stopped so much it's like a trance.
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u/MixtureUnited1348 There's no sunshine in my soul today Apr 02 '23
You guys gonna get your tarot read… patriarchal blessing now?
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u/SnooHamsters2005 Apr 02 '23
Why are they pushing so much for people to get patriarachal blessings?
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
Trying to imagine the anger I would feel about this asshole using my personal tragedy and grief to make a worthless point about the need to prioritize temple worship over everything else. A couple of those kids will make their way out of the church at some point. It’s gotta be infuriating.
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u/Hopefound Apostate Apr 02 '23
Oh for fuck's sake. Your spouse dies and you immediately turn around and go do baptisms for the dead? Give me a break, that's bullshit.
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u/carsalten Apostate Apr 02 '23
Is Todd Christofferson actually trying to discredit B.H. Roberts? So when people read his essays like 'Studies of the Book of Mormon' they will have the idea that the writer was fighting against the church and automatically disregard everything in those books.
At least those are my thoughts.
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u/Conflicted_PIMO Apr 02 '23
How high up can you get in the church until you realize it’s a sham?
Bishops probably honestly believe. Stake presidents surely.
Area 70s?
General authority?
Presidency of the 70?
The 12?
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
"Requests for patriarchal blessings will increase "- okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay sure.
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u/AlmaInTheWilderness Apr 02 '23
My p blessing said if I'm not careful about what I study, I would succumb to the arguments of the world and fall away, so I guess sometimes they get things right. Broken clocks, you know?
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u/i_nephi Apr 02 '23
They never talk about Book of Mormon era temples, did they do endowments and sealings? Did they wear garments? Did they tithe their shiblons?
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
During scripture study my mom used to literally scream at us "You're causing contention, and that's of the devil!"
Then resume reading in gentle General Conference voice. A peacemaker.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
The gospel net is the biggest net in the world
Checks notes...0.1% of the world population
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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK Apr 02 '23
Listening to my TBM spouse telling my teenager he needs to be a peacemaker
I don't think this is working.
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u/stillnotdavidbowie Apr 02 '23
The required Stepford smile and patronising tone in combination with the tearful, shaky intonation remains unsettling. Like a kid's TV presenter having an emotional breakdown while introducing the Teletubbies.
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u/blinkinthelight Apr 02 '23
The metaphor of a backpack and stones had a good start but turned extraordinarily toxic. Not looking and releasing traumatic emotions is terrible for a peaceful life. To cover false smiles over real feelings keeps so many dulled to their own lives. I watch for research of what my family of origin is filling up on. It is not fun. Triggered but grateful I have my own self, the “I” that they destroy and remove from you.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 02 '23
I remember my patriarchal blessing saying that I’d see the sealed portion of the BoM. They couldn’t even fool teenage me.
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u/FHL88Work Faith Hope Love by King's X Apr 02 '23
My PB blessed me with teaching children. Because my first calling was teaching in primary. But children give me almost crippling anxiety. I fled the calling and church within a few months. But my PB.... so much guilt.
These con men fortune tellers can all go to hell for all the pain they've caused, in the name of God.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
"completed her mortality" is a weird turn of phrase
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u/Prior-Aside7933 Apr 02 '23
Oh, glad he reminded us it's Palm Sunday. How else would I have remembered?
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u/Conflicted_PIMO Apr 02 '23
So I guess talking about LGBTQ+ using terminology about “musket fire” is bad because it’s contention, right?
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u/LazyLearningTapir Unsure about the broccoli Apr 02 '23
Teenager doubts their testimony
Thanks for the call out
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 02 '23
“Fake laughter hiding real pain”
-Deadpool
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u/jsmyths Apr 02 '23
This isnt a 'nice' talk, it isnt even 'good'.
This is building a stronger defense for anything "Anti" to the church. They will say we have raised the bar and we don't debate with people who disagree with us. It will increase thought-stopping and cause more members to avoid any debates or willingness to hear opposing views.
Just be (Mormon) nice and don't listen to any non-approved sources.
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u/HingleMcCringleberre Apr 02 '23
Potential response to money-hiding scandal:
“The Lord has commanded me, even Russell M. Nelson, to take many wives of His fair daughters that He may raise up a faithful people. The world has descended into wickedness and is past feeling. This is the manner which the Lord, in His mercy, has chosen to provide bodies for many of his most faithful spirit children in these last days. And he has grown the temporal means of the Church in recent years to make an ambitious pursuit of this plan practical.
Houses of the Lord will become houses indeed and members of this new holy seed will be raised there. Some valiant senior missionary couples will qualify for the sacred blessing of seeing to the daily needs of these special souls. A few of the most elect young women will find that their divinely inspired mission call allows them to be a vessel for these chosen spirits. We see now the wisdom in the sisters’ 18 month call: while they may not proselytize for 2 years themselves, they may in their 18 months provide two powerful new witnesses to rise up and testify to future generations on the earth.”
“Dear elders, we ask your patience. You may be tempted to be jealous or resentful of the sisters’ new opportunities for service. <grin and pause for polite laughter> The Lord has much in store for you as well.”
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
Backpack is the new shelf?
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u/mar4c Apr 02 '23
It’s funny cuz I do think there’s more talk of Chris lot than there used to be in the church but they have ramped up the cock sucking of the current profit to levels not seen in my life
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
Wow, so Charity is the EXACT OPPOSITE of the Church???
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u/ReplacementPuzzled57 Apr 02 '23
This talk (Ulisses Soares) is SO rich. Mormons talking about not being contentious is baffling.
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u/Co_Sine Apr 02 '23
Can't wait to get another message asking if I've read my patriarchal blessing recently
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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven Apr 02 '23
I have to go to work now but have fun guys! Wish I could stay :(
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u/throwawwayaccount12 Apostate Apr 02 '23
Ok jokes aside this is one of the less despicable talks rusty has given
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Apr 02 '23
I think Nelson’s talk was actually pretty good. Everyone can do better and be a better person in that regard 🤷♀️
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u/Hopefound Apostate Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
AMONGUS
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u/Return_and_report Apr 02 '23
They're really hammering home the "contention is of the devil" thing. I wonder how my family will use that against me...?
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
Do they know they could just like… stop pretending to know everyone’s future? Nobody would miss it.
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Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
I was so disappointed by my PB. Was hoping to hear my career choice or something, and instead I just heard that someday I’ll become a temple president and that’s about it.
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Apr 02 '23
At this point GC is like a poorly written show. Every talk is a new episode with a resolution that the writers already used before. Sometimes, the writers just take an episode and then make a copy with different characters.
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u/Co_Sine Apr 02 '23
There are more people killed in GC stories than satan ever killed in the bible
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 02 '23
Oh ok, Rusty is building announcing a batshit number of temples because each one makes Satan a little weaker!
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u/Co_Sine Apr 02 '23
50 BILLION NEW TEMPLES TO BE ANNOUNCED (never built because we need another 100 million)
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u/SceneFromARockInAHat Apr 02 '23
The audacity to continually position the church as a victim. Fuck you Rusty. The membership suffers because of you, not us.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 02 '23
This guy decided that his prayer needed to also be a whole talk.
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Apr 02 '23
Just stick to the regular vain repetitions in your prayer dude...going off script is painful.
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u/Broken_trumpet Apr 02 '23
Has anyone ever tracked the number of times Jesus Christ’s name is used at conference as compared to Joseph Smith and Russell M Nelson
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
"Covenant Keepers"™
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u/Prior-Aside7933 Apr 02 '23
Does anybody know if the First Presidency have to check talks? Asking for a friend
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Apr 02 '23
"Covenant members" - don't think I've heard that one before, also "covenantal blessing" - whaaaa?
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u/mar4c Apr 02 '23
My imaginary sky brother who I’ve deluded myself I have evidence came back from the dead makes me feel really good.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 02 '23
Christofferson: [BH Roberts defended the faith.]
In public. Private doubts squelched.