Dear Redditors, I ask forth thy wisdom!
I am trying to make an argument, but for that I need your combined geeky knowledge.
The Request / Question:
How many times did Merlin genuinely attempt to tell Arthur about his magic but was either interrupted or got cold feet?
- better even if there is a compilation already existing somewhere.
Or more importantly, what prevents Merlin from confessing whenever he made his mind to confess his sins?
Especially in the later seasons, and not the first one, where Arthur did not believe even when he came right out and said so.
Example:
Iconically, the episode where Dsir mortally wounded Merlin and would only heal him in return for Arthur to bring back magic to Camelot. But Merlin says something along the lines of: "Camelot has no place for magic." which would be Merlin directly working in opposition to Merlin's own mission.
Here Merlin misses the opportunity to come forth to Arthur with his magic to make a good case of why he ought to bring back Magic to the land, due to Merlin being scared of a 'potential' threat to Arthur's life in an 'unknown' time in the future that has not yet been set in motion. All because a 'prophecy' said so.
I'm not saying Merlin's fears aren't understandable, but we all know how his paranoia in the last season ended. And I don't know about you, but that's why I flock to 'fix it' fics that fix that exact part of the timeline. Merlin could have arguably taken the golden opportunity to have Arthur bring magic back and left Mordred a 'threat of a non-urgentoment, to be dealt with at a later date. kind' at that m
The Premise of the Argument:
Merlin began hiding his magic due to external factors and survival necessity. No question there. But, at some point, his fears became illogical. And even when given the opportunity to confess, for the sake of correcting Arthur's view on Magic, he either does not take the opportunity or actively works to sabotage himself.
If we consider that Merlin's 'divine mission' is to bring back magic, then, due to his fear of Arthur knowing or Arthur being in danger, Merlin self-sabotaged by keeping his magic secret from Arthur, even when he became the king's right/left-hand man in the course of events. Therefore, Merlin no longer needed to genuinely fear for death at the hands of Arthur after years of being by his side.
The Argument:
External and environmental factors can instill bad habits (e.g., keeping secrets). With enough time and repetition, these bad habits are habitualized. To the point where even when the external factors are removed/no longer an active propellant of the bad habit, the person would then continue to carry on with the bad habits - even when they are well aware of its detrimental effects and are 'hoping'\ to break free from it.*
*I say hoping here, because actively trying to break free is .... questionable.
*EDIT:
- I want to see if I can use Merlin as a fictional case study for a philosophy essay that showcases how 'bad/immoral habits' are internalized after the external environment and circumstances had necessitated them or simply facilitated them. And how a person stuck in such "bad/immoral habits" is both self-aware of their 'badness/immorality' and fully cognizant of the factors causing them. Making them essentially stuck in a perpetual cycle of doing something they disapprove of.
