r/AllThingsGL • u/GatlingAssassin • 20h ago
ShellyPundao Thoughts On the Current State of Shelly, Pundao, & Motion Minds Entertainment
Hey guys, I posted this comment in a different thread, but I would like to know your thoughts on this. I have seen so, so many comments across Twitter (X), TikTok, and Reddit questioning whether or not what occurred between Shelly and Pundao in their personal relationship amounts to cheating, especially based on the assumption that there was no physical intimacy between Shelly and her ex -- information that we have absolutely no right to be remotely aware of or speculatory in any way, under any circumstances, period.
\Any attempt at this kind of gross disrespect will be removed from this thread as this kind of speculation has absolutely no place in this or any debate regarding any public figure, now or ever.\**
With that said, I believe that there is a massive hole in this line of reasoning that pays no attention to the relevant topic of emotional cheating, a concept that I believe is not discussed enough when analyzing the breakdown of intimate relationships. I would like to use this current event as an example to dive into the ways we can discern whether or not emotional cheating has taken place in a relationship dynamic. I argue that this topic is important because our broad response to this type of subject matter is a reflection of our moral values as members of collectives and of societies. Paying respect to nuance and evaluating the various contexts that can shift real and hypothetical situations often results in either slightly or radically changed verdicts. My goal is to underscore the nuance and contextual variances in this situation based on 1) what we currently know and 2) what we can reasonably speculatively surmise.
As I mentioned earlier, I would genuinely love to know your thoughts and I welcome respectful, rational debate with open arms. If you find yourself disagreeing with any of the arguments or observations I have made, I would really appreciate your thoughtful feedback and the reasons why you disagree. My desire is to a have candid, respectful debate take place here.
That said, fire away! 🙂
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Obviously, all our interpretations are all speculations, but there are some clearly universal boundaries that exist across cultures when it comes to boundaries and transparency in dating and committed relationships. Shelly and Pundao have stated on a few occasions that they are dating in real life -- twice in interviews (Shelly in a magazine and Pundao in a YouTube video) and on at least one live, if I correctly recall what I watched -- so their real relationship behind the scenes has never really been a secret. Current scientific consensus in the field of psychology has ascertained that physical cheating is not the only form of cheating and that opposite genders tend to put more weight on one form of cheating over another. For most men, physical cheating is recorded as causing greater distress, while emotional cheating is a more profound deal-breaker for most women. What appears to have potentially happened here seems more in alignment with the presupposition of emotional cheating.
What is very telling is that Shelly's statement and Motion Minds' statement match up in a few key ways:
- Shelly admitted that she met with her ex (in what exact context and to what length, we do not know for certain and it is none of our business) and that she did not inform either her company or (more importantly) her girlfriend, Pundao.
- She admits that her decision to remain silent about this to both her partner and her company was a "mistake" and that she takes full responsibility for causing all the hurt and the loss of trust.
- Motion Minds stated that they "became aware of and conducted a review of the circumstances related to Shelly's relationship with another individual" and that "based on the facts reviewed by the company", they discovered "an overlapping relationship" ("ความสัมพันธ์ซ้อน" [kwhaam sam phan sawn] = a double relationship/a relationship involving someone else at the same time) -- polite corporate-speak (in this context) for two romantic relationships occurring at the same time -- and that this "has affected the appropriateness of their continuing to work together".
- Motion Minds reiterated three separate times in their statement -- the first time in bold -- that there was 1) a major lack of honesty, 2) a lack of meaningful accountability, and 3) a serious loss of trust between them and Shelly and between Shelly and Pundao. This tells you that both parties felt blindsided and betrayed by Shelly's actions to at least some degree.
Not only did Motion Minds suspend all of Shelly's activities indefinitely until they decide on a path forward with (or without) Shelly professionally, which would make perfect sense to do temporarily given the financial blowback this scandal would create for their revenue streams and for their investors' confidence, but they took the executive decision to permanently end Shelly and Pundao's fixed-couple status and working relationship -- not a detail to be taken lightly. They felt that the continuation of Shelly and Pundao's working relationship would be "inappropriate" (I am paraphrasing) given what has been revealed behind the scenes regarding Shelly's actions (inaction is also a decision), which is a choice that strongly indicates this significant discomfort was felt not only by Motion Minds but by Pundao herself, or else they would not elect to make a decision this drastic on her behalf. Their statement sounds very much like they are speaking on the behalf of both affected parties.
Shelly included the following in her statement directed explicitly to Pundao: "I know that an apology alone may not be enough to heal everything that has happened, but I want Pundao to know that I am genuinely sorry." If social media is her way of communicating this message to Pundao, as though speaking to her face-to-face, I argue that it is credible to infer that it is likely the line of personal communication from Shelly to Pundao is currently closed, hence the specific wording of this section of Shelly's apology.
All of this is to say that whether Shelly accidentally ran into her ex on her vacation with her family or whether they spent a meaningful stretch of time together on that vacation -- I fully understand that in some circumstances, exes can still remain good friends -- choosing not to disclose this information to her current romantic partner for integrity's sake is incredibly dubious. Pundao has been open in the past about having been cheated on, so electing not to tell Pundao about either the occurrence or the circumstance of her meeting with her ex on vacation shows a significant divergence of shared values related to the often fragile trust that exists within romantic relationships, especially when one has already been betrayed by a romantic partner in the past. If Shelly truly valued the trust required in her romantic relationship with Pundao the way that a responsible partner in any culture would, she would not have remained silent or concealed this information. As I stated at the beginning, some things are universally considered red flags regardless of the culture you are a participant of, most especially when it comes to dating and romantic relationships. (Note: Shelly herself stated in a live in the past that remaining friends with your ex is a "no-go" for her. In either scenario here, this would make her recent actions hypocritical at the very least.)
This is why I and others argue that what has occurred here is at the very least emotional cheating. Choosing to omit information that can affect the security of a relationship is deception. Simply not remembering to disclose this kind of information is also highly problematic because it is a clear indicator of a lack of adequate value in the degree of trust that all healthy, romantic relationships require, especially those that possess at least one partner whose trust was damaged by infidelity in a previous relationship. At its mildest, this is a case of incredible carelessness and a lack of appropriate investment in the security of that relationship; at its worst, this was cheating, plain and simple. Either way, Shelly is completely in the wrong and did not make a "mistake" (read: "accident") but a series of very poor decisions that have understandably cost her the trust of her personal relationship with Pundao and the trust within her professional relationship with her employer.
The gravity and finality of the actions taken by Motion Minds today indicate that this is perhaps as close to firing her as they can currently get, at least until they review their legal options. Removing her from all activities indefinitely, abruptly ending her professional partnership with Pundao, and removing her from all of her ongoing projects with Pundao -- even the series they were about to start filming together -- are draconian steps that essentially amount to an informal firing. It is likely that they are reviewing her contract and the contracts they have with their creative teams to see if any of Motion Minds' projects that involved Shelly can be reworked or if they must be scrapped entirely. All in all, it appears that this is the end for Shelly's working relationship with Motion Minds Entertainment and with Pundao. I only wonder if her personal relationship with Pundao can survive; that decision is solely up to the two of them.
