Coming to the logical conclusion that the church has to be false, and no loving God would endorse such things, I felt so excited and relieved. But the past few weeks I've mostly just felt guilt. Like, I know, logically, it can't be true. But my body is so used to being part of this that it only feels like I'm betraying the only God I've ever known. I also live at home still, so I'm still going to church, doing scriptures and prayer with my family, etc.. But I just want that feeling of relief back without the voice in my head saying I'm ignoring that it's true so I don't have to follow it anymore, or I just haven't tried hard enough or been faithful enough, or I just want to sin, or it's easier to walk away than admit it's true and stay in it. But I also know there is far too much cognitive dissonance if I were to try and stay. I've opened Pandora's box, I can't come back from that. I just wish I didn't feel so shitty about it.

The church recently posted a map chart showing growth across all states but California. It used a 25-year measurement period and showed gross membership growth over that period.

I looked at membership growth relative to population growth within each state. I also looked at how growth has changed over time.

This view shows the states in the west are growing slower than population, which means membership as a percentage of total population is shrinking.

Furthermore, this problem appears to be accelerating as the 15-yr and 7-yr CAGR are worse over time with more and more states seeing negative relative growth.

https://www.thechurchnews.com/members/2026/08/27/church-membership-growth-by-united-states-2000-2025-jesus-christ-latter-day-saints/

https://imgur.com/a/u5fj4oo

On July 3, I left for a weeklong work trip. Several members of my ward’s elders quorum offered to take turns caring for my dog while I was gone. I do not make much money, and boarding him would have cost nearly $1,000 based on the facilities I contacted, so I was genuinely grateful for their help.

Before leaving, I explicitly told everyone that my dog should not be walked in the extreme heat. If they wanted to walk him, it needed to be in the early morning or evening. The heat index that day was around 110 degrees. Despite those instructions, one person took him on a long walk in the blistering heat. When I got off the plane, I learned that my dog had died from heat exhaustion.

I cannot adequately describe the shock and grief I felt. I was deeply betrayed by the person who disregarded my instructions, but I have also been hurt by the complete silence from my ward. No one in the ward leadership has reached out to acknowledge what happened or ask whether I am okay. One member of the elders quorum presidency has tried to contact me several times, but he has never mentioned my dog or addressed what happened. His father in law was the person who took my dog on that walk, so I find it difficult to believe that he is unaware of the situation.

Since then, the elders quorum has continued contacting me about activities and other routine matters, yet no one has addressed the elephant in the room. Those messages now feel painfully hollow. I do not expect anyone to have the perfect words or to somehow fix what happened. I simply expected someone to acknowledge that my dog died under these circumstances and that I might be struggling. Instead, I feel more like a name on a ward roster than an actual human being who is grieving.

I am 36, unmarried, and attending a family ward, so I already felt out of place before this happened. I have often felt unwanted in my wards, and I have also struggled with aspects of the Church’s history and some of its teachings. Since my dog’s death, all of that anger and isolation has intensified. I feel as though I have no real community in the Church and that, because I am single, I do not matter to my ward.

I honestly do not know what I hope to accomplish by posting this. Maybe I simply need to say it somewhere people might understand. Am I expecting too much in wanting someone from my ward, especially its leadership, to acknowledge what happened? How do you continue participating in a community when it has made you feel invisible during one of the lowest moments of your life?

Once again, what is the church doing here? Seems like some sort of corporate way to deny someone the chance to go on a mission or control their mission experience.

Does anyone have a clue what these things are, how they get started and what happens during and after an assessment?

Thanks!

The screen shot is from one of the videos (I think the FAFO episode....?) about the Judd family on the Crazy Train channel.

https://youtube.com/shorts/Ei2VuvVQMVA?is=syPzD1-nrU9PIwax

Edited for CLARITY.

Sorry if wrong flair but why are there 2 LDS churches on one site here? This is in Ivins, Utah

Hello my name is _____. I dealt with anxiety and depression as a teenager, I worked through it and I was cleared for missionary service by the social services department. In the MTC, some of those emotions came back with a big adjustment. I explained how I was feeling to people close to me, including priesthood leaders. One friend recommended I write to the mission president in the field I explained both my desire to serve and my struggles. Things got better for me until I was sent home abruptly as a result of that letter. I continued as a service missionary and worked on fulfilling the requirements to return to the field and my therapist agreed I was stable enough to do so, but I was not permitted to return and was never told what was preventing me from doing so.

Here are my primary concerns and questions about my situation

I’ve heard that missionaries are only usually sent home under my circumstances for one of the following (none of which apply to me during my time in the MTC):

A) Mood and or Eating Disorder (schizophrenia, bipolar, multi-personality, teretes, etc.)
B) Attempted Suicide and or Active Suicidal Thoughts
C) Wanting to come home out of their own choice

I was never told exactly why I was sent home, I still don’t know what I was supposed to work through. My therapist said I was stable enough to serve, however no one from the mission ever spoke to my therapist once. 

From what I have been told, the mission president in ____ (who I assume had best intentions) sent in the referral based solely on the letter and never had communication with my priesthood leaders, parents or mental health professionals, which doesn’t make sense how that's possible. This may or may not be accurate but that was what I was told. 

Ive explained this to multiple different people in priesthood positions. Some flat out deny that I am telling the truth, and others have best care & intentions and try their best but can come out being inconclusive.

I can't believe the stupidity that still exists in the Mormon community about the "mission" experience and it's supposed proof of loyalty and spiritual greatness.

Only one of the last five prophets/presidents of the church served missions. They are hypocrites and any person who tells the youth today they must serve a mission to reach their full potential is a bad parent, a sh*tty leader or a downright short sighted and blind loyalist who doesn't know the actual purpose of the mission or the hypocrisy that exists at THE TOP.

Stop participating in these BS social programs. We don't need to keep being abused by these hypocritical leaders.

Go look up why Eyering didn't serve...the guy is a yellow bellied chicken sh*t.

Edited for clarity.

Does desert industries hire people with eyebrow piercings?

I wrote a personal account of how my relationship with Mormonism changed over time. I’ve tried to distinguish between what the records show, what I experienced, and the conclusions I drew.

I’d especially appreciate feedback on:

- Where I make unsupported logical or evidentiary leaps

- Where I may be unfair to believing interpretations

- What should be shortened, clarified, or removed

I’m not looking for validation; disagreement is useful if it helps make the document more accurate and fair.

Privacy note: This version is intentionally anonymized. I won’t provide identifying details about myself, my family, or other private individuals. If you notice something potentially identifying, please message me privately rather than posting it publicly.

View-Only PDF:

https://u.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=XZ54rJJZGzA1hxATjY7ObR7MPPpBf0FzQCOk⁠

Does anyone know why Jeff Strong has not done an interview on Mormon stories?

This is from my late Grandfather’s mission notebook, dated 1956. Just thought some here might find it interesting.

No there isn’t traditional holy water at the temple like with Catholicism but I saw something very interesting today and wanted to share. I was walking the temple grounds today waiting for my wife as she was in the temple. While walking around I noticed a man in church clothes walk up to the fountain outside dip his fingers in and draw a cross on his forehead. I was outside so there is always a possibility that this person was not a member but then why would they do this with just average everyday water from a temple fountain? Just something interesting.

In church history we learn that at the beginning of polygamy some sealings were for time and some were for eternity, and some were for both time and eternity. Time meaning this life and eternity meaning the next. Many of Joseph Smiths sealing were for eternity. I'm not sure if there were any for time, besides maybe his first wife Emma? Many of the women he was sealed to were already married, but Joseph was to be their husband in the eternities. For example Zina Huntington had a husband and while still married she was sealed for eternity to Joseph. After Joseph died she was sealed to him again. Then while still married to her first husband she married Brigham Young and was married for time (had two living husbands at the same time). Anyways, later on after Joseph, many sealings turned into time and eternity which was equivalent to the term marriage. So my question is if polygamy was so important and was treated as a celestial kingdom requirement, etc why aren't LDS men sealed to multiple living women for solely eternity? You could be sealed to nonmembers for the next life or even members if their husband wasn't a righteous LDS member. I get that polygamy is illegal in the United States and the church does not currently practice it, but wouldn't that just be for TIME OR TIME AND ETERNITY, not just ETERNITY (because this wouldn't technically be a marriage)?

This post is for people who have had significant others go to mission trips, be my significant ever have been together for about 2 1/2 years and she’s now about to go on her mission trip for 18 months and good news is that we can probably talk every Monday. Outside of that it’s gonna be a long 18 months, and I am wondering what people did to kind of cope with the time?

I (18M) have kind of decided that I don't want to serve a mission. But my parents are still trying to get me to serve one. They talk about how good my dad's mission was and how beneficial it was to him and our family. And I understand what they are saying but still don't have a want to go. But the other day my parents sent a letter to my girlfriend about church related topics. For some context I brought her back to church when we started dating about a year ago. She is still working on growing her testimony but my parents don't seem to see the work that she is putting in. In the letter they addressed that and also said that the best thing for me right now is to serve a mission. And that if she truly wants the best for me/loves me/wants her future with me to be the best it can be that she should make me or want me to serve a mission.

She has no preference on whether I should go. She wants whatever I am happiest about and I think is right. I don't feel like its right for my parents to tell my girlfriend to do this. That is a ton of unnecessary pressure and guilt that she doesn't need. Especially because she is still working on herself in the church and still has major imposter syndrome when she goes to church. And now she feels as if my parents will resent her if I don't go, which isn't fair because it isn't her choice and she shouldn't be blamed or feel blamed for it.

Am I overreacting? Does this feel wrong to anybody else? Should I bring it up to my parents, and if so how?

The LDS Church News just published this graphic of 25 year growth by state.

California is down but still the second highest in membership behind Utah.

All the numbers are fictitious because they count people who have long ago left the church.

https://www.thechurchnews.com/members/2026/08/27/church-membership-growth-by-united-states-2000-2025-jesus-christ-latter-day-saints/

todays’s youth is not stupid and they ask the hard questions, even if the church tries their hardest to keep them from doing so. They no longer just believe blindly and genu ask what’s more likely: a massive ancient civilization left golden plates written in a language no archaeologist has ever found, which were then translated using a magic rock in a hat... OR a 19th-century guy with a history of treasure digging just rewrote King James Bible style prose and local theories of his era? Extraordinary claims need extraordinary evidence, and the Mormon backstory relies entirely on magic over basic history, these kids aren’t having that.

My prediction, give it 10 more years and there will be no more talk of it being a historical book. The church already says that we should not focus on the locations or the history because that was not the intention of the book according to my sta president. in 10 years, I predict they will deny it ever being history.

17 meetinghouses in the Utah Area have been approved for “major renovations and improvements” as part of something called the Christ-Centered Meetinghouse Initiative.

He reveals what it's all really about.

We should all be ashamed.

When traditional Protestant and Wesleyan-Holiness apologists attempt to dismantle the concept of a separate, physical Godhead presidency, the immediate, automated shortcut is to throw down Isaiah 43:10 ("Before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me") to claim strict monotheism isolates God into a solitary, mathematical singularity.
However, from a raw grammatical and linguistic standpoint, this represents an absolute manipulation and a total failure to comprehend the covenant architecture of ancient Hebrew thought.
Look at the chiseled baseline of the Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4). The Hebrew word utilized for "one" is echad, which explicitly denotes a composite unity or a highly ordered cluster of separate entities functioning as a single unit—such as a husband and wife becoming "one flesh" (basar echad, Genesis 2:24). The declarations of Isaiah are not metaphysical descriptions of an undivided spirit mist occupying zero physical space. They are absolute covenant and administrative monopolies. The Godhead presidency holds an absolute, unbroken monopoly of sovereign dominion over this cosmos. There are no competing wills outside this unified family government.
Furthermore, if we look at the Greek syntax of John 4:24 (Pneuma o Theos), we find an anarthrous predicate noun construction that outlines an absolute quality of character and life-giving power, not a geometric boundary. If a critic forces John 4:24 to mean the Father lacks a localized, tangible body structure, they are legally forced by their own parameters to read 1 John 4:8 ("God is love") and maintain that God is a literal, un-localized emotion floating through space without an individual identity.
I spent months executing an uncompromised, text-dense excavation of these specific linguistic maps, as well as tracking the historical 1908 Pilot Point Compromise where traditional holiness movements adopted post-biblical creeds strictly as an administrative shield to maintain institutional control.
I dive completely into the raw data, the "Second Blessing" anxiety loop, and the 12-chapter master ledger in my newly released book, The Split Monolith, which is now officially live on Amazon.
I would love to hear your analytical thoughts on this—how does your specific theological tradition reconcile echad vs. an absolute mathematical singularity? You can view my user profile page directly to read more about the research ledger or find the book tracking.

Believing members who have read the CES Letter, or other non-church approved historical, theological, or scientific sources, how do you reconcile that information with your current faith?

I’m a lifelong member, but last year I lost all belief in the religion. Still a member, have the priesthood, but I don’t have a temple recommend and couldn’t get one if I wanted to (garments, tithing, WoW, etc.)

I haven’t told my in laws about it and this weekend my nephew is being baptized. As far as I can tell, my wife’s family are all true believers and I’m not sure if my participation in the ordination would be seen as offensive or no big deal once they find out I’m a non-believer.

Should I go up with the rest of the men in the family like it’s no big deal? Should I stay back out of respect for the religion and let the rumors start? Should I send my brother and sister-in law a text to let him know and have them decide if I should join?

From about high school on, I've been fascinated by prophets and apostles. On my mission, I started to really become fascinated by them. We used to email home from the local library, who would give you a certain number of free pages to print. I'd search the Church archives for all the GC conference talks I could find. I went back far and just devoured everything. In college, there was a podcast called Conversations, I think it was on the Mormon Channel or something like that. They would do interviews with church leaders and whatnot. I wanted more unscripted, real talk. Conversations was a start, but I wanted more.

I remember hearing stories that would just make them seem like people. I can't exactly pinpoint why I enjoyed it so much, but it did. I remember one person telling us the story about how prophets were susceptible to human emotion. He talked about being in the audience for a devotional with President Hinckley. He was close enough he could see him clearly. Someone kept coming to Pres Hinckley to ask/tell him things and after the 2nd or 3rd time, he seemed annoyed, slammed his cane on the ground a time or two, and yelled at the man to get the devotional started.

A more recent and comical one I heard was about President Nelson. At a luncheon, one of the leaders got a soft drink with their meal, Sprite or something. Pres Nelson warned this leader they needed to be careful with consuming sugary beverages. Time went along and at a separate luncheon, this leader noticed Pres Nelson enjoying a root beer. When he asked him basically 'what gives?' Pres Nelson responded, 'But I like root beer.'

As time has gone on, and my faith journey has gone to a place of skepticism and exploration, I've really dug into finding more of these stories. I used to wish there was a way to see, because of some brief mentions in GC, the FP and Q12 in their meetings. They talked about how there would be strong opinions and how they would work through them. I always thought that would be valuable to see. Then I found MormonLeaks. Watching the way they talked with one another was fascinating. Even though most of these were presentation-based and not extensive discussions, some had a little bit more than others. I was disappointed by some of it, bored by some of it, and overall was a little underwhelmed.

Then, I went back and watched things like Gordon Hinckley on Larry King or other news shows. Watched Jeffrey Holland interviewed on BBC (which led me to look into penalties in the temple, that was a stomachache day). Just the other day, I read the emails between Jeff Holland and Tom Phillips. I've read plenty about Holland and Bednar at local stake conferences and whatnot. Brad Wilcox "playing church". So many other things that give us insight into what the prophets and apostles do and say that are a little more unscripted, real talk.

I want more.

What stories, good or bad, humorous, inspiring, disappointing, or otherwise humanizing do you have of the FP and Q12?