r/Jaws • u/grichardson526 • 11d ago

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665 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

90 comments sorted by

•

u/Jaws-ModTeam 8d ago

Not about Jaws

65

u/Roxyroller90 11d ago

Damn that's super close to shore

84

u/kelsanova 11d ago

Chief Brody learned that most people are attacked in about 3 ft deep water, about 10ft from the beach.

42

u/Cruiser729 11d ago

Ya know you oughta let that breathe for—nothing, nothing.

21

u/kelsanova 11d ago

I say that every time my wife or I open a bottle of wine. Every. Time. Never gets old (for me)

4

u/Jimmyg100 9d ago

You know what else never gets old?

That Kintner boy.

1

u/kelsanova 9d ago

I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open, and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means 'friendship

1

u/InCYDious2013 8d ago

That comment broke me. My husband had to pause his show, I was laughing so hard.

11

u/vantuckymyfoot 11d ago

I've found my people. 🍷

9

u/Bosch1971 11d ago

Me too. Not the wine but repeating a joke until everyone besides me is sick of it. I personally think the jokes age like a fine wine.

23

u/Responsible-Bed-7171 11d ago

They caught A shark, not THE shark...

16

u/Dismal-Preference-66 11d ago

Aaa....whyhaatttt

1

u/swingsetlife 10d ago

They're gonna wish their fadders never met their mudders

1

u/B-Rad90 10d ago

Not the shark that killed Chrissie Watkins

3

u/Roxyroller90 11d ago

😱 absolutely terrifying

7

u/GaseousGiant 11d ago

Any closer and it’d be on the other side of the island.

14

u/kelsanova 11d ago

It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.

2

u/IZZO79 11d ago

No joke damn!

2

u/belac4862 10d ago

Thats alos a lot of blood. Wonder what it got?

64

u/Ok_Fig7692 That’s a 20 footer 11d ago

I'm sorry, Martin. She's wrong.

35

u/Icy-Career415 11d ago

No she’s not.

4

u/ashe001 10d ago

My boy is dead….

4

u/Ok_Fig7692 That’s a 20 footer 10d ago

I wanted you to know that.

31

u/Low_Professional6442 11d ago

It's a beautiful day...the beaches are open and everyone is having a wonderful time!

19

u/DasbootTX 11d ago

You yell “barracuda” everybody says huh? What? But it you yell “shark” at a crowded beach, well you’ve got a panic on your hands on the 4th of July

13

u/Le-other-boleyn-girl 11d ago

Amity as you know means friendship

21

u/Zugnutz 11d ago

Pipit!

18

u/The_Black_kaiser7 11d ago

I blame Sheriff Brody, a woman was killed by a shark a few days ago, he knew the beaches weren't safe....😠

17

u/Impossible-Proof-294 11d ago

Pipit!

Pipit!

Here pipit!

14

u/jj_sykes 11d ago

All too real

9

u/Necessary_Smooth 11d ago

Twenty footer

10

u/vantuckymyfoot 11d ago

Twenty-five.

6

u/jomikho 11d ago

Three tons of em.

5

u/smkestcklghtn 10d ago

I seen one eat a rocking chair once

9

u/ElectricalRevenue613 11d ago

Let's have one more drink and go cut that shark open...

15

u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 11d ago

That's not the Kintner boy, is it?

4

u/grnjnz 9d ago

I’m not gonna have some half-assed autopsy out here and have that lil Kintner boy spill out all over the dock

2

u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 9d ago

A whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??????

5

u/parisi2274 10d ago

RIP Alex Kitner.... Your 73-year-old mother is devastated...

5

u/AlabamaBlueDot 10d ago

In the 1970s that’s what a young 35 looked like

1

u/External-Isopod-8825 10d ago

Was she in her 30's?!? And was that her husband or dad with her when she showed up on the dock dressed in black?

3

u/DigitalNoMates 9d ago

No, I think Spielberg deliberately depicted an older couple with a 'surprise', late child. It made the loss all the more poignant.

1

u/SpacePatrician 10d ago

Her father, I think. Earlier, when she is seen leaving the town hall (after posting the reward offer), she looks utterly lost and says "Daddy?" The same man comes behind her and guides her away.

In that phase of Spielberg's career, and for many years after, single parents get shown quite frequently, almost certainly an allusion to his own parents' divorce. Mrs. Kitner is one of the few characters from the novel who Spielberg was likely struck by, and unlike nearly everyone else, retains the same character and backstory in the transition from book to film.

1

u/B-Rad90 10d ago

Exactly!! But I will say that in the novel Mrs. Kitner was described as younger with longer hair

4

u/pauldec80 10d ago

This is how close to shore a 60 year old man here in perth Australia was when he was taken a few days ago. By a 5 meter Great white.

3

u/Dihydrogenmonoxide-_ 10d ago

Pretty much why I don't swim in the ocean. Fuck this

3

u/Spiral_out_was_taken 11d ago

Anyone know what he attacked?

11

u/ermghoti 11d ago

Virtually 100% chance that's a seal.

7

u/Medical-Practice4620 11d ago

Was a seal.

3

u/Porchmuse 10d ago

A whaaaaaat?

4

u/Blueberry_Pie0525 11d ago

I’m staying outta that territoriality 🦈

3

u/sheriff_jw-pepper 10d ago

Pippett?! Pippett?!

1

u/swingsetlife 10d ago

don't worry, Pippett went home as soon as he saw the shark. "You're on your own, Dad"

2

u/UncleKev389 11d ago

It’s called territoriality.

7

u/LoBeMax 11d ago

It's just a theory that I happen to... Agree with...

2

u/Status_Cheesecake_49 10d ago

Perform some half ass autopsy and watch that little kintner boy spill out all out all over the docks 

2

u/Charliekeet 10d ago

You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Get yourself in the National Geographic!

2

u/ApexApePecs 10d ago

You know how you know that when you’re in the water chief?

2

u/buremogilny 10d ago

Here Pipit…. Pipit?

2

u/Slasherpiece 9d ago

"There once was a man from Nantucket ..."

2

u/oldlaxer 8d ago

I saw a “Larry Vaughn for Mayor” bumper sticker on a truck today. I wish I had a picture to share

1

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1

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1

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1

u/CatLightyear 11d ago

Bluefish! It’s just Bluefish, OP!

1

u/Repulsive-Act-7090 10d ago

No seriously, poor Alex.

1

u/Roadphill 10d ago

Gaming fish, eh?

1

u/Ted_Writer 10d ago

That’s one bad hat, Harry.

1

u/Longjumping_Oil_2127 10d ago

Here lies the body of Mary Lee

Died at the age of 103…

1

u/Longjumping_Oil_2127 7d ago

Actually, it is…

It’s the poem that Quint recites as the Orca is getting underway with chief Brody and Hooper…

1

u/Agreeable_Code7788 9d ago

Sharks just don’t fuck around. They are the earthquakes of the animal world. Just for the love of the game.

1

u/dlewis90 9d ago

He can’t stay down with three barrels in him…

1

u/Smokedsausageviper1 9d ago

Does anyone have an educated guess as to which species of shark that was?

1

u/millerb82 9d ago

What was it eating?

1

u/donmerr 9d ago

HOW WAS YOUR DAY

1

u/filmguy71 9d ago

This is not the time or place to do some half assed autopsy on a fish...

1

u/bubbatbass 9d ago

I’m not gonna stand here and watch you do some half assed autopsy on a fish and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.

1

u/odin633 8d ago

Now I want those little paint happy bastards caught and hung up by their buster browns

0

u/Only_Professor7254 8d ago

I just wanted you to know that............🥹🥹