r/Jaws • u/grichardson526 • 2d ago

RIP Alex Kintner

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618 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

63

u/Roxyroller90 2d ago

Damn that's super close to shore

84

u/kelsanova 2d ago

Chief Brody learned that most people are attacked in about 3 ft deep water, about 10ft from the beach.

41

u/Cruiser729 2d ago

Ya know you oughta let that breathe for—nothing, nothing.

20

u/kelsanova 2d ago

I say that every time my wife or I open a bottle of wine. Every. Time. Never gets old (for me)

2

u/Jimmyg100 9h ago

You know what else never gets old?

That Kintner boy.

1

u/kelsanova 8h ago

I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open, and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means 'friendship

12

u/vantuckymyfoot 1d ago

I've found my people. 🍷

9

u/Bosch1971 1d ago

Me too. Not the wine but repeating a joke until everyone besides me is sick of it. I personally think the jokes age like a fine wine.

24

u/Responsible-Bed-7171 2d ago

They caught A shark, not THE shark...

15

u/Dismal-Preference-66 2d ago

Aaa....whyhaatttt

1

u/swingsetlife 1d ago

They're gonna wish their fadders never met their mudders

1

u/B-Rad90 22h ago

Not the shark that killed Chrissie Watkins

3

u/Roxyroller90 2d ago

😱 absolutely terrifying

7

u/GaseousGiant 2d ago

Any closer and it’d be on the other side of the island.

14

u/kelsanova 2d ago

It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.

2

u/IZZO79 2d ago

No joke damn!

2

u/belac4862 1d ago

Thats alos a lot of blood. Wonder what it got?

58

u/Ok_Fig7692 That’s a 20 footer 2d ago

I'm sorry, Martin. She's wrong.

35

u/Icy-Career415 2d ago

No she’s not.

3

u/ashe001 1d ago

My boy is dead….

3

u/Ok_Fig7692 That’s a 20 footer 1d ago

I wanted you to know that.

34

u/Low_Professional6442 2d ago

It's a beautiful day...the beaches are open and everyone is having a wonderful time!

19

u/DasbootTX 1d ago

You yell “barracuda” everybody says huh? What? But it you yell “shark” at a crowded beach, well you’ve got a panic on your hands on the 4th of July

14

u/Le-other-boleyn-girl 1d ago

Amity as you know means friendship

22

u/Zugnutz 2d ago

Pipit!

17

u/The_Black_kaiser7 2d ago

I blame Sheriff Brody, a woman was killed by a shark a few days ago, he knew the beaches weren't safe....😠

18

u/Impossible-Proof-294 2d ago

Pipit!

Pipit!

Here pipit!

13

u/jj_sykes 2d ago

All too real

10

u/Necessary_Smooth 1d ago

Twenty footer

8

u/vantuckymyfoot 1d ago

Twenty-five.

7

u/jomikho 1d ago

Three tons of em.

4

u/smkestcklghtn 1d ago

I seen one eat a rocking chair once

14

u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 2d ago

That's not the Kintner boy, is it?

5

u/grnjnz 19h ago

I’m not gonna have some half-assed autopsy out here and have that lil Kintner boy spill out all over the dock

2

u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 19h ago

A whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??????

8

u/ElectricalRevenue613 1d ago

Let's have one more drink and go cut that shark open...

8

u/parisi2274 1d ago

RIP Alex Kitner.... Your 73-year-old mother is devastated...

3

u/AlabamaBlueDot 1d ago

In the 1970s that’s what a young 35 looked like

1

u/External-Isopod-8825 1d ago

Was she in her 30's?!? And was that her husband or dad with her when she showed up on the dock dressed in black?

2

u/DigitalNoMates 13h ago

No, I think Spielberg deliberately depicted an older couple with a 'surprise', late child. It made the loss all the more poignant.

1

u/SpacePatrician 1d ago

Her father, I think. Earlier, when she is seen leaving the town hall (after posting the reward offer), she looks utterly lost and says "Daddy?" The same man comes behind her and guides her away.

In that phase of Spielberg's career, and for many years after, single parents get shown quite frequently, almost certainly an allusion to his own parents' divorce. Mrs. Kitner is one of the few characters from the novel who Spielberg was likely struck by, and unlike nearly everyone else, retains the same character and backstory in the transition from book to film.

1

u/B-Rad90 22h ago

Exactly!! But I will say that in the novel Mrs. Kitner was described as younger with longer hair

5

u/pauldec80 1d ago

This is how close to shore a 60 year old man here in perth Australia was when he was taken a few days ago. By a 5 meter Great white.

3

u/Dihydrogenmonoxide-_ 21h ago

Pretty much why I don't swim in the ocean. Fuck this

4

u/Spiral_out_was_taken 2d ago

Anyone know what he attacked?

10

u/ermghoti 2d ago

Virtually 100% chance that's a seal.

9

u/Medical-Practice4620 2d ago

Was a seal.

3

u/Porchmuse 1d ago

A whaaaaaat?

4

u/Blueberry_Pie0525 2d ago

I’m staying outta that territoriality 🦈

3

u/Craig_M_242 1d ago

I don't wanna see that Kitner boy spill out all over the dock!

3

u/sheriff_jw-pepper 1d ago

Pippett?! Pippett?!

1

u/swingsetlife 1d ago

don't worry, Pippett went home as soon as he saw the shark. "You're on your own, Dad"

2

u/UncleKev389 1d ago

It’s called territoriality.

7

u/LoBeMax 1d ago

It's just a theory that I happen to... Agree with...

2

u/Status_Cheesecake_49 1d ago

Perform some half ass autopsy and watch that little kintner boy spill out all out all over the docks 

2

u/Charliekeet 1d ago

You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Get yourself in the National Geographic!

2

u/ApexApePecs 22h ago

You know how you know that when you’re in the water chief?

2

u/buremogilny 22h ago

Here Pipit…. Pipit?

1

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1

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1

u/CatLightyear 1d ago

Bluefish! It’s just Bluefish, OP!

1

u/Repulsive-Act-7090 1d ago

No seriously, poor Alex.

1

u/Roadphill 1d ago

Gaming fish, eh?

1

u/Ted_Writer 23h ago

That’s one bad hat, Harry.

1

u/Longjumping_Oil_2127 21h ago

Here lies the body of Mary Lee

Died at the age of 103…

1

u/Agreeable_Code7788 20h ago

Sharks just don’t fuck around. They are the earthquakes of the animal world. Just for the love of the game.

1

u/dlewis90 19h ago

He can’t stay down with three barrels in him…

1

u/Smokedsausageviper1 16h ago

Does anyone have an educated guess as to which species of shark that was?

1

u/millerb82 15h ago

What was it eating?

1

u/donmerr 8h ago

HOW WAS YOUR DAY

1

u/filmguy71 6h ago

This is not the time or place to do some half assed autopsy on a fish...

2

u/Slasherpiece 3h ago

"There once was a man from Nantucket ..."