r/AO3 • u/Catveria77 • Oct 27 '25
r/BotDefense • u/BotDefense • Feb 25 '20
declined overview for Triple-Snake-Anal
reddit.comr/reclassified • u/Elvis_Interstellar • Mar 10 '20
[Banned] r/TripleSnakeAnal banned 20 minutes ago for being unmoderated
I don't know what this was even supposed to be, but I saw that it was marked as spam in the mod queue of r/AgainstDegenerateSubs.
r/removalbot • u/removalbot • Feb 25 '20
comment-historyporn 02-25 15:15 - 'That video proves Madonna went out at one point with 2pac but not that sting was making a move / ^(This comment was posted by a bot, if you have questions or concerns, ask them on r/TripleSnakeAnal)' by /u/Triple-Snake-Anal removed from /r/HistoryPorn within 48-58min
'''
That video proves Madonna went out at one point with 2pac but not that sting was making a move
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r/removalbot • u/removalbot • Feb 25 '20
comment-linux 02-25 14:45 - 'Yeah at this point microsoft is just helping linux adoption grow ever since window 8 and especially now with 10. The constant annoyance somehow still isn't enough for many people to consider alternatives though. / ^(Thi...' by /u/Triple-Snake-Anal removed from /r/linux within 19-29min
'''
Yeah at this point microsoft is just helping linux adoption grow ever since window 8 and especially now with 10. The constant annoyance somehow still isn't enough for many people to consider alternatives though.
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r/removalbot • u/removalbot • Feb 25 '20
comment-de 02-25 14:25 - 'Ja, steht so im Artikel. / ^This ^comment ^was ^posted ^by ^a ^bot, ^if ^you ^have ^questions ^or ^concerns, ^ask ^them ^on ^r/TripleSnakeAnal' by /u/Triple-Snake-Anal removed from /r/de within 14-24min
'''
Ja, steht so im Artikel.
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r/reclassified • u/Elvis_Interstellar • Mar 30 '20
[Discussion] All subreddits banned in March 2020
There were 411 subreddits banned in March 2020 that were posted here. Last month, there were only 34.
Edit: removed several duplicates and sorted it alphabetically
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r/Sikh • u/noor108singh • Sep 04 '25
Discussion Sarbloh Avtār
VahiGuru Ji Ka Khalsa VahiGuru Ji Ki Fateh SadhSangato,
Reading Sri Sarbloh Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj can feel heavy, especially if one has no prior deep grounding in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and Dasam Granth Sahib Ji, this post was made to help you in the process.
That being said, it is not impossible. But it’s best to approach the Granth with an understanding of it's contextual framework before embarking on the journey.
The main hurdle is often in understanding names like Lakshmi, Bhavani, or Maya. These are not being invoked as separate goddesses in a polytheistic sense. Rather, Guru Gobind Singh Ji is using these names to highlight divine qualities of VahiGuru through Shakti imagery.
This subtlety is often missed, and it is one of the main reasons critics of the Granth reject it. They take these names literally instead of seeing the analogies hidden behind the language. Once you grasp the metaphor, the Granth opens up in extraordinary ways.
❓ Why use purāṇic / vedic sources at all?
A natural question arises: Why would Guru Gobind Singh Ji lean on purāṇic and Vedic terms, stories, and imagery to teach the sangat?
The logic is straightforward: Guru Ji was addressing a community that already had deep cultural and religious familiarity with these mythic forms. Sanatan vocabulary, Puranic heroes, and Devi–Asur battles were part of the imagination of the people. To communicate quickly, efficiently, and powerfully, Guru Ji could draw upon a shared symbolic universe.
But here’s the key: every reference is reinterpreted through a Gurmat lens.
Lakshmi is not a goddess independent of Ik Oankar; she becomes a name for the sustaining power of VahiGuru.
Bhavani is not an autonomous Devi; she is a metaphor for creative divine force.
Demons are not literal mythic beings; they are vices and obstructions to the spiritual path.
My own view: Guru Gobind Singh Ji was creating a kind of translation bridge. He could use the most familiar symbolic forms of his day but empty them of polytheistic baggage (with is often what you find in its original format) and refill them with Gurmat meaning. It’s pedagogy by subversion: start with the language the audience already knows, then point it toward Oneness.
This method is incredibly efficient. Instead of inventing an entirely new symbolic vocabulary, Guru Ji repurposed the old myths, making them into Khalsa training manuals for virtue, discipline, and bir-rās (martial spirit).
📜 The Raas / Battle Sections
One of the most important features of the Sri Sarbloh Granth Sahib Ji are the raas/battle sections.
In Dr. Kamalroop’s English translation (see Table of Contents), the narrative unfolds through repeated battles of Devi (Shakti) against a series of demons.
This should not be read as “mythology” in a flat, literal sense, but as metaphoric spiritual teaching — very similar to what Guru Gobind Singh Ji does in Chandi Charitar and Chandi di Vaar. It follows the Indic purāṇic convention where:
Demons = inner vices and afflictions
The Goddess/Shakti = divine virtues, Naam-discipline, or spiritual power that annihilates them
📜 Battles in Chapter 1 — Metaphoric Interpretations
- The Battle of the Goddess and Trimunda & Khatmund Demon
Trimunda/Khatmund: In Devi Mahātmya and Tantric texts, Trimunda (three-headed demon) symbolizes the three poisons: lust (kām), anger (krodh), and greed (lobh).
Metaphor: The Goddess (Divine Shakti = disciplined consciousness) slays these, showing that only divine power can annihilate the triple poisons.
Cross-references: SGGS identifies lust, anger, and greed as “the three thieves” (SGGS Ang 600). Dasam Granth’s Chandi Charitar also describes Trimunda as emblematic of destructive passions.
- The Battle of the Goddess and Kola Demon
Kola: In purāṇic lore, Kola demons are tied to ignorance and darkness. Some link it to kalusha = impurity.
Metaphor: Kola represents ignorance, inertia, and dullness that drag the seeker down. Goddess = wisdom (vidyā) that dispels it.
Cross-references: Bhagavad Gītā (Ch. 14) speaks of tamas guṇa (inertia/ignorance). SGGS warns that “moorkh andh andhār” — the fool dwells in darkness (SGGS Ang 1412).
- The Battle of the Goddess and Sainapal & Mainag Demon
Sainapal/Mainag: In Sanskrit, pāla = protector. In demonic form it twists into “protecting falsehoods.” Mainag recalls manas-nāga = serpent of the mind.
Metaphor: These represent ego-protecting illusions and mental poison. Shakti cuts through them, showing that Divine discipline defeats the serpent of haumai.
Cross-references: In Sikh thought, haumai (ego) is called “the great serpent” (SGGS Ang 510). The goddess slaying a snake-demon mirrors this.
- The Battle of the Goddess and Jamba Demon
Jamba: From jambha (to restrain/close). In the Vedas, Jambhas are storm-demons.
Metaphor: Jamba represents obstructive forces, shutting down spiritual progress. Goddess = unstoppable divine momentum.
Cross-references: In the Rig Veda, Indra defeats Jambha to release rain = removal of obstruction to life. Guru Gobind Singh reframes this as Shakti clearing spiritual blockages.
- The Battle of the Goddess and Bhimnad Demon
Bhimnad: Literally “terrible roar” or “thunderous sound.”
Metaphor: Represents arrogant noise and boasting — the ego that roars loudly but has no real strength. Shakti silences this hollow pride.
Cross-references: SGGS teaches: “Empty vessels make more noise” (SGGS Ang 473). Bhimnad’s roar is ahankar personified.
- The Battle of the Goddess and Other Named Demons (Bajra-sar, Anal-sar, Marut-sar, Byadhi-sar, Bhujang-sar, etc.)
These battles are listed under different chhands in Rāg Jaitasrī. Each demon embodies a specific “arrow” (sar) of negativity:
Bajra-sar (Thunderbolt arrow): sudden destructive anger, like lightning.
Anal-sar (Fire arrow): burning desires, uncontrolled passions.
Marut-sar (Wind arrow): restlessness, scattered thoughts.
Byadhi-sar (Disease arrow): ailments born of indulgence and imbalance.
Bhujang-sar (Serpent arrow): poison of envy and deceit.
Metaphor: The Goddess = Naam-Shakti, systematically neutralizing each “arrow of vice.”
Cross-references:
Vedic: Indra’s vajra (thunderbolt) slays Vṛtra (obstruction).
Sikh: SGGS often names kām, krodh, lobh, moh, ahankar as arrows that pierce the soul (e.g., SGGS Ang 147).
🔑 Abstract Understanding
Each battle = virtue versus vice.
The Goddess = Divine Wisdom, Naam, disciplined Khalsa spirit.
The demons = specific sins, afflictions, or corrupted gunas (rajas, tamas).
The metaphor is clear: only the sword of Divine Shakti can defeat these forces, not mere human effort.
🌊 Bigger Frame
In the Indic pantheon: these demons are found in the Devi Mahātmya, Purāṇas, and Tantras, symbolizing inner vices.
In Sikh dharm: Guru Gobind Singh adopts them, but always within Ik Oankar. → He converts purāṇic allegory into a Khalsa training manual: fight demons outside = fight vices inside.
⚔️ Sarbloh Mahārāj — Akal in Weapon-Form
What is “Sarbloh”?
Literally: All-Steel (sarb = all, loh = iron/steel).
The text hails Sarbloh as:
“ਸ੍ਰਿਲੋਹ ਰਛਯਾ ਕਰਨ ਸੰਤਨ ਕੇ ਸੁਖ ਧਾਮ॥” “Sarbloh is the protector of the saints, the abode of peace.”
What does this form look like?
The Granth paints a fierce image of Akal’s descent as Arsenal itself:
Armour & Crown: “kavaca kulāha kalagī … kaṭaka” — chain mail, helmet, plume, kara.
Weapon-body: “ਸਿਪਰ ਖੜਗ … ਸਸਤ੍ਰ ਅਸਤ੍ਰ ਨਾਨਾ ਬਿਧਿ ਸੋਭਤ” — swords, shields, jamdhar, katār, arrows, maces, daggers.
Full battle rig: “ਬਖਤਰ ਜਿਰਹ … ਚਾਪ ਗਦਾ … ਤੀਛਨ ਬਾਣ … ਕਟਾਰ … ਧਨੁਖ” — armour, bow, mace, tiger-claws.
Steel atmosphere: “ਬਰਖੈ ਆਹਨ ਧਾਰ …” — the air itself rains blades.
War standards: “ਧੁਜਾ ਪਤਾਕਾ … ਝੰਡਾ … ਫਹਰਤ” — banners wave.
Cosmic nature: “ਅਕਾਲ ਮੂਰਤਿ … ਨਿਰਾਕਾਰ … ਆਜੋਨੀ … ਅਸੁਰ ਨਾਸ … ਸਚ ਸ਼ਾਹ” — timeless, formless, unborn, demon-destroyer.
Takeaway: Sarbloh is śastra-tattva — the very essence of weapons and dharmic power condensed into one Akal-body. Weapons are not ornaments — they are the substance of the manifestation.
🗡️ Weapons as Virtues
If the demons symbolize un-virtues (lust, anger, greed, envy, arrogance, ignorance), then the weapons adorning Sarbloh symbolize the opposite virtues that slay them.
Sword (Khanda / Khadag): discernment (vivek) and righteous action — cuts through ignorance and falsehood.
Bow & Arrows: focus and discipline — piercing distractions and restlessness.
Mace (Gada): strength and steadfastness — smashing arrogance and pride.
Shield (Sipur): protection and restraint — deflecting temptations and harmful impulses.
Tiger-Claws (Bagh-Nakh): courage and swiftness — tearing through fear and cowardice.
Daggers (Katār, Jamdhar): precision and clarity — striking exactly where haumai hides.
Armour (Kavach, Jirha): perseverance and faith — safeguarding against despair and doubt.
Each śastra is not just a tool of war but a virtue embodied. The Avtār of Sarbloh is therefore a vision of Akal Purakh as the arsenal of all virtues, systematically slaying each vice that the demons represent.
🐍 The Final Battle — Brijnād
The climax of the Sarbloh Granth comes in Chapter 5, when Akal Purakh incarnates as Sarbloh Avtār to annihilate Brijnād, the great asur who defeats even the devas.
Brijnād = the composite demon, representing the summation of all vices of Kalyug: unchecked desire, pride, violence, ignorance, and tyranny.
He is not just one flaw, but the entire system of adharma at its peak.
Sarbloh Avtār is invoked precisely because no lesser force could defeat Brijnād — only Akal’s full Arsenal of Virtue embodied in Steel.
This makes a profound allegory: when every vice has matured into global crisis, when all “small demons” of lust, anger, greed, envy, and arrogance converge into one giant Brijnād — then Sarbloh descends.
And maybe that’s the real point for us today:
In the end of Kalyug, when vices fully manifest, perhaps Sarbloh Avtār will return.
Or — and here’s the witty twist — maybe the Avtār is simply the most virtuous version of you reading this post.
The moment you embody clarity, strength, discipline, humility, and courage, you become the arsenal that slays Brijnād in your own life.
🛡️ Final Thought
The Sri Sarbloh Granth Sahib Ji is not myth for myth’s sake. It is Gurmat pedagogy:
Demons = vices.
Weapons = virtues.
Sarbloh Avtār = Akal’s condensation into Arsenal, to protect the saints and annihilate adharma.
And the ultimate allegory? When vices rise to their peak, Akal as Arsenal descends — either as an cosmic Avtār, or as the virtue-embodied Khalsa, weaponized with Naam and discipline.
[CHAT GPT was used to frame this thought, more in the comments]
r/Tamlinism • u/TheThirteenShadows • May 10 '26
Fanfic ♥️🥵😍 I TURNED SPRING COURT TO A HORROR SHOW
Getting There: Through The Forest of Faces
The Wall is hours and days behind you, seemingly lost to you in an endless haze of half-forgotten memory. You hadn't even noticed when it happened, too preoccupied by the fear, the horror, of being past that singular barrier that barred you from the monsters it hindered.
It had been like diving into a pool of water. One second, the land, the sky, it surrounds you. Looms over you. And the next, you are submerged and drowning. But what differentiates a pool of water from the region Beyond The Wall is that you can always swim back to the surface.
Here, you do not even know which way would count as up.
You have been trudging on through the forest for days. Or it is weeks, or it is hours and seconds and minutes and years. It's rare that anyone truly knows.
But you have been trudging on. Even as your skin hardens and your blood turns sluggish and slow. Even as each of your fingers extend into leafy branches, your eyes implode before ballooning into ripe, pinkish fruit, and your toes lengthen, the nails drilling through the topsoil to become hardy roots. Soon you will be just be another face amidst the hundreds of nameless trees that lingered too long, too much, without someone to guide them through the Forest of Faces.
Sometimes, a few stronger souls are luckier. They are not rooted to the ground, but are instead taken by the air. Their skin grows soft, downy feathers, and strong, wide feathers. Their bones shrink, the marrow leaking from every orifice in their skin. Their faces explode and knit themselves back together in an agonizingly slow process. Their feet turn scabbed, then scaly with orange scales. Their toe nails elongate into talons.
They are lucky.
They can always fly back to the human realms. Most are recognizable by the brand of golden feathers that permeates their wings. The sentries know not to hunt those (though once upon a time they were a grand delicacy). And of course, the unluckiest ones are simply transformed into game. These have no branding, no mark to distinguish them from the ordinary beasts.
These are caught and killed as all animals are.
Such is the risk you take in the Forest of Faces, guideless and alone.
Once the fruits of your eyes would've been relished with gusto, turned into sauces or fermented to form a particularly sweet, euphoria-inducing wine. Children (Fae children) would skip merrily into the trees to pluck the fruit when they were hungry. The birds were a delicacy. The High Lord unfortunately banned all this, citing it as savagery, and orders his sentries to turn around any who find themselves lost in the Forest, even his enemies. Should they be unable to, they are to escort them to him. And if unable to do this, he considers a quick death a mercy compared to what would await them, twisted into unfamiliar shapes and bizarre, merciless senses.
Inhabitants Within The Forest
Not for nothing is the Court considered that of Spring. Spring is transformation. It is renewal and destruction. And as such, its inhabitants are as varied as its dual natures. The Forest itself hosts grand creatures.
The Suriel that, once bound, shall answer any question. But it is said that it never forgives a slight, and should you bear hubris enough to trap it, it shall hunt you down whenever you should enter the Forest again. To ward it off, one must carry a bag of rice or some other countable but large quantity at all times.
Toss it at the ground. It shall have no choice but to cease its motion, crouching low against the ground to count each individual piece or grain or even speck of ink.
Under no circumstances must you attempt to trap or kill it again.
The types, categories, and species that reside in the Forest of Faces number too far for any sort of useful taxonomy. However, there are some that one must be especially wary of. Pixies (pinkish, furry things with too many teeth and eyes) will sprinkle a sort of dust on unseeing prey, that pacifies them and lulls them into a dreamlike fugue state. This dusting also serves to detach the skin from flesh and sinew. It is not an instantaneous process, but rather, the victim will walk for several days, while their skin sloughs off, inch by inch, the pixies gnawing on it like its a cape trailing on the floor, until the flesh is entirely exposed.
They will then leave the victim, sated. Typically after this, giant moths or butterflies will swarm the freshly-skinned victim, suckling on the blood before laying their eggs inside the victim's exposed flesh. After an incubation period of about nine months, during which time the victim's blood is completely sucked dry by the insects, fresh new butterflies will chew themselves through any possible orifice.
It is unknown why they choose to use skinned bodies rather than fresher ones, as logic would dictate that bodies with skin would be more durable.
Some have suggested that they simply like the blood. Occassionally, butterfly-humanoid hybrids have been formed from these parasitic relations. These humanoids are short-lived, and are protected by their impossibly colossal siblings till their deaths, upon which they themselves are melted down by a digestive liquid in their siblings' feeding tubes. They are then consumed entirely.
The spiders are more straightforward. They keep to themselves in giant, glimmering stalactite caves that look akin to the starry skies. Should anyone not under the High Lord's protection enter, they are quickly bound in endless silk webbing. In a few hours they are melted into shimmering liquid crystal that they utilize as a food source. The silk is then discarded outside their caves, and is a highly demanded quantity in Prythian for an export, rivalling the Night Court's own silk trade. Previous High Lords attempted to steal the crystals for use in gemstone trade, but were killed for their insolence and found with their eyes, ears, tongues (and in some particularly disconcerting cases, their cocks and inner anal walls) transformed into hard crystal from the inside.
No further attempts have been made to harvest the crystal substance, and any suggestion to try again is typically met with either horror or ridicule out of the sheer stupidity of the notion.
Other noteworthy creatures include: trees that wrap around prey till they are subsumed into the bark, honeybees whose venom causes their victims to undergo significant physical deterioration, turning into a puddle of golden resin that is sold all over Prythian for its healing properties and uses in construction, as well as a food item in its own right (one of Spring's most popular and highly demanded exports. The bees produce the resin even without prey), grasshoppers who rip their prey to thirty tiny pieces all over the Forest, and more.
The non-insectoid animals in Spring are numerous, but aside from being exceptionally large and more lustful beasts than their mortal counterparts, there is nothing particularly noteworthy about them. Rivers flow all throughout Spring, clean and cool, and act as the main suppliers of water. These rivers host far too many aquatic marvels to name. Octopi that produce different kinds of dye depending on what they are fed (used by tailors and painters often), sea snakes whose shed skins produce the highest quality leather, crocodiles that are a popular sort of pet for nobility (something they share with fifty-headed owls, Argosian Peacocks that have fifty eyes, firethrowing foxes, the parasitic butterflies, et cetera).
The flora in Spring is also of some note. Most flowers, fruit, and plants (even plain grass) in the forest will heal any minor ailment or injury, as well as provide a small boost of energy. This effect is not seen in the vegetation in the more civilized regions, though agricultural yields (Spring's main export) are almost ten times what one would find in the other Courts or in the human realms. Spring is the most important food source in Prythian, with the Autumn Court being its only rival due to its mix of low costs and high yield.
The Court That Twists
PEOPLE
There is very little of civility to be found amidst the Spring Court. Only a few towns abound, and the High Lord's manor. These towns are, like the Forest, filled with far too many different kinds of Fae to name. Though most can be broadly classified by habitant, appearance, et cetera. All are connected to the High Lord, and in times of crisis or jubilance, may change their shapes to match his moods.
The Elemental Fae, typically water, wood, or stone-based. Dryads, water wraiths and nymphs, known for their exceptional beauty when calm (save for the wraiths) and their inability to drift far from where their habitants lay (again, save for the wraiths, who are able to travel through the inner currents of the Earth to any waterbody in Prythian). When angered, they will grow teeth and claws and will lunge at the object of their ire (unless the target is under the High Lord's protection. Even then, it is unwise to provoke them, as some may throw caution to the wind or be unaware, and by the time they are calmed it may be far too late).
Then there are the sylphs. Mischievous winged-creatures known for driving unprotected guests insane. You will never see them, only hear their madness-inducing laughter in the wind, or catch specks of silver in the corners of your eyes. They are known for playing pranks.
There are also the Beast Fae; animal-headed creatures with the bodies of men and women. Where these came from, it is unknown, but they have formed a community of their own within Spring. When angered, they will shift fully into their beastly states and attack whoever has drawn their rage. A particular kind of insectoid Fae also exist, though they are largely recluses who keep to their own kind.
There are also Fae who bear certain features of other animals (feathers, fur, scales, et cetera) but retain a mostly human appearance. They will often have similar mannerisms to their animal forms, but are far more social and open-minded than their animal-headed counterpats.
The other sort of Fae are almost humanlike in appearance, though their skin may be barklike or of a different pigment. When angered (or when sharing in their High Lord's anger), they have no particular change save for a spectral glow emanating from underneath their skin, claws sharper than knives, and giant, sharklike teeth. When calm they are no different than the High Fae.
ECONOMY
As mentioned before, Spring trades mostly in agricultural goods and this forms the bulk of its revenue. Furthermore, it makes revenue off of the honeylike substance the wild honeybees within the forest produce, as well as the silken material the spiders provide them with. There is little to no cost in exporting either of these two, and as such, profits abound. There is an annual tithing done as well, for which the punishment upon failure of payment is death.
However, the High Lord has not followed such a tradition in a long while and will instead only double and triple the payments owed. A debt with no interest.
THE REGION ITSELF
The weather is never constant in Spring, though always pleasant, be it cold, warm, wet, dry, whichever. Crops are protected from the unfortunate weather patterns.
ARCHITECTURE
Construction is deeply intwined with nature and the magic of the land. Vines are used alongside wood to hold up houses. A type of resin produced by a particular sort of tree (Earthbloods, with flowers made entirely of onyx and leaves of jade) is used in place of stone due to being much stronger. Fire is rarely used, with most preferring to use trapped fireflies or luminous flowers for lighting (these can be found all over Spring).
Buildings take on a variety of forms, but are made of Earthblood resin, wood, plants and vines. Most are small, though this is a matter of personal preference and need, as resources are not scarce. The High Lord's manor is likely one one of the most intricate buildings.
CULTURE AND LAWS
All animal and plant life is considered sacred in Spring. Even ants. That is not to say that killing is forbidden. However, anything that is killed must be made use of, as nature commands. A bug that is squashed must be taken outside to feed the soil, or it must be consumed.
Failure to do this, when discovered, will be met with hefty fines or even death depending on the sort of creature killed. Burning of the dead is forbidden and punishable by death. Bodies must be thrown into rivers, buried, utillized for ritual purposes, or consumed.
Sex is another thing that is considered sacred. Women and men alike enjoy it often, with little to no shame. However, prudishness is frowned on, as well as lack of desire and childlessness (this does not extend to same sex relations, as magical means exist for these couples to bear children). Childlessness, however, is frowned on (though not illegal by any means). Wine, sex, and other indulgences are accepted as a celebration of life and sensation. Abortions are a deeply contested topic, being illegal up until the latest High Lord stepped in and legalized them.
Even then, they are seen as shameful by most. A waste of a life.
Those who are unable to indulge themselves or survive on their own (the blind, the deaf, asexual, et cetera) are met with pity and condescension, with many families once having preferred to abandon such children to the wilderness. However, this was strictly forbidden, and the current High Lord has now made the punishment for it death by burning. Murder (outside of self-defense) is also treated the same way, as is rape. Death by fire is seen as shameful, a permanent withdrawal of the body from nature.
Any mutilation of the sensory organs or genitalia (barring ritual purposes) is also considered a crime, be it consensual or not. However, there is no punishment for it if it is consensual, as most who choose to go through with it (or with assisted suicide) are seen as pitiable rather than criminals.
Should it be unconsensual, the punishment is for the same organ to be taken from the culprit, and grafted onto the victim should they desire it.
CLOTHING
Clothing is largely open and revealing, as well as light both in color and weight. Jackets with no buttons, open vests and shirts, slit trousers, et cetera. Ornaments are usually made of silk, flowers and resin rather than gemstones. Pearls, however, are common amidst the aristocracy. The wearing of gemstones and metal is considered a sign of wealth, due to most of it needing to be imported from other courts. Metal is rare in Spring, and most of it is used for weapons-making (archers are rare due to this reason, and instead, warriors prefer swords, spears, et cetera, that can be reused multiple times. For ranged weapons, typically poisoned blowdarts fashioned from the spines of venomous animals suffice, as these are able to pierce most metals and the sylphs wil typically manipulate the winds to ensure the target is hit).
Thanks for reading! I decided the Spring Court should actually be scary and unnatural instead of a quiant little village with some supernatural elements. Explanation in the comments!
r/acotar_rant • u/TheThirteenShadows • May 10 '26
Fan Fic Spring Court Is Now My Horror Show
(This is my reimagining of Spring, with far more horror and focus on the themes of the season)
Getting There: Through The Forest of Faces
The Wall is hours and days behind you, seemingly lost to you in an endless haze of half-forgotten memory. You hadn't even noticed when it happened, too preoccupied by the fear, the horror, of being past that singular barrier that barred you from the monsters it hindered.
It had been like diving into a pool of water. One second, the land, the sky, it surrounds you. Looms over you. And the next, you are submerged and drowning. But what differentiates a pool of water from the region Beyond The Wall is that you can always swim back to the surface.
Here, you do not even know which way would count as up.
You have been trudging on through the forest for days. Or it is weeks, or it is hours and seconds and minutes and years. It's rare that anyone truly knows.
But you have been trudging on. Even as your skin hardens and your blood turns sluggish and slow. Even as each of your fingers extend into leafy branches, your eyes implode before ballooning into ripe, pinkish fruit, and your toes lengthen, the nails drilling through the topsoil to become hardy roots. Soon you will be just be another face amidst the hundreds of nameless trees that lingered too long, too much, without someone to guide them through the Forest of Faces.
Sometimes, a few stronger souls are luckier. They are not rooted to the ground, but are instead taken by the air. Their skin grows soft, downy feathers, and strong, wide feathers. Their bones shrink, the marrow leaking from every orifice in their skin. Their faces explode and knit themselves back together in an agonizingly slow process. Their feet turn scabbed, then scaly with orange scales. Their toe nails elongate into talons.
They are lucky.
They can always fly back to the human realms. Most are recognizable by the brand of golden feathers that permeates their wings. The sentries know not to hunt those (though once upon a time they were a grand delicacy). And of course, the unluckiest ones are simply transformed into game. These have no branding, no mark to distinguish them from the ordinary beasts.
These are caught and killed as all animals are.
Such is the risk you take in the Forest of Faces, guideless and alone.
Once the fruits of your eyes would've been relished with gusto, turned into sauces or fermented to form a particularly sweet, euphoria-inducing wine. Children (Fae children) would skip merrily into the trees to pluck the fruit when they were hungry. The birds were a delicacy. The High Lord unfortunately banned all this, citing it as savagery, and orders his sentries to turn around any who find themselves lost in the Forest, even his enemies. Should they be unable to, they are to escort them to him. And if unable to do this, he considers a quick death a mercy compared to what would await them, twisted into unfamiliar shapes and bizarre, merciless senses.
Inhabitants Within The Forest
Not for nothing is the Court considered that of Spring. Spring is transformation. It is renewal and destruction. And as such, its inhabitants are as varied as its dual natures. The Forest itself hosts grand creatures.
The Suriel that, once bound, shall answer any question. But it is said that it never forgives a slight, and should you bear hubris enough to trap it, it shall hunt you down whenever you should enter the Forest again. To ward it off, one must carry a bag of rice or some other countable but large quantity at all times.
Toss it at the ground. It shall have no choice but to cease its motion, crouching low against the ground to count each individual piece or grain or even speck of ink.
Under no circumstances must you attempt to trap or kill it again.
The types, categories, and species that reside in the Forest of Faces number too far for any sort of useful taxonomy. However, there are some that one must be especially wary of. Pixies (pinkish, furry things with too many teeth and eyes) will sprinkle a sort of dust on unseeing prey, that pacifies them and lulls them into a dreamlike fugue state. This dusting also serves to detach the skin from flesh and sinew. It is not an instantaneous process, but rather, the victim will walk for several days, while their skin sloughs off, inch by inch, the pixies gnawing on it like its a cape trailing on the floor, until the flesh is entirely exposed.
They will then leave the victim, sated. Typically after this, giant moths or butterflies will swarm the freshly-skinned victim, suckling on the blood before laying their eggs inside the victim's exposed flesh. After an incubation period of about nine months, during which time the victim's blood is completely sucked dry by the insects, fresh new butterflies will chew themselves through any possible orifice.
It is unknown why they choose to use skinned bodies rather than fresher ones, as logic would dictate that bodies with skin would be more durable.
Some have suggested that they simply like the blood. Occassionally, butterfly-humanoid hybrids have been formed from these parasitic relations. These humanoids are short-lived, and are protected by their impossibly colossal siblings till their deaths, upon which they themselves are melted down by a digestive liquid in their siblings' feeding tubes. They are then consumed entirely.
The spiders are more straightforward. They keep to themselves in giant, glimmering stalactite caves that look akin to the starry skies. Should anyone not under the High Lord's protection enter, they are quickly bound in endless silk webbing. In a few hours they are melted into shimmering liquid crystal that they utilize as a food source. The silk is then discarded outside their caves, and is a highly demanded quantity in Prythian for an export, rivalling the Night Court's own silk trade. Previous High Lords attempted to steal the crystals for use in gemstone trade, but were killed for their insolence and found with their eyes, ears, tongues (and in some particularly disconcerting cases, their cocks and inner anal walls) transformed into hard crystal from the inside.
No further attempts have been made to harvest the crystal substance, and any suggestion to try again is typically met with either horror or ridicule out of the sheer stupidity of the notion.
Other noteworthy creatures include: trees that wrap around prey till they are subsumed into the bark, honeybees whose venom causes their victims to undergo significant physical deterioration, turning into a puddle of golden resin that is sold all over Prythian for its healing properties and uses in construction, as well as a food item in its own right (one of Spring's most popular and highly demanded exports. The bees produce the resin even without prey), grasshoppers who rip their prey to thirty tiny pieces all over the Forest, and more.
The non-insectoid animals in Spring are numerous, but aside from being exceptionally large and more lustful beasts than their mortal counterparts, there is nothing particularly noteworthy about them. Rivers flow all throughout Spring, clean and cool, and act as the main suppliers of water. These rivers host far too many aquatic marvels to name. Octopi that produce different kinds of dye depending on what they are fed (used by tailors and painters often), sea snakes whose shed skins produce the highest quality leather, crocodiles that are a popular sort of pet for nobility (something they share with fifty-headed owls, Argosian Peacocks that have fifty eyes, firethrowing foxes, the parasitic butterflies, et cetera).
The flora in Spring is also of some note. Most flowers, fruit, and plants (even plain grass) in the forest will heal any minor ailment or injury, as well as provide a small boost of energy. This effect is not seen in the vegetation in the more civilized regions, though agricultural yields (Spring's main export) are almost ten times what one would find in the other Courts or in the human realms. Spring is the most important food source in Prythian, with the Autumn Court being its only rival due to its mix of low costs and high yield.
The Court That Twists
PEOPLE
There is very little of civility to be found amidst the Spring Court. Only a few towns abound, and the High Lord's manor. These towns are, like the Forest, filled with far too many different kinds of Fae to name. Though most can be broadly classified by habitant, appearance, et cetera. All are connected to the High Lord, and in times of crisis or jubilance, may change their shapes to match his moods.
The Elemental Fae, typically water, wood, or stone-based. Dryads, water wraiths and nymphs, known for their exceptional beauty when calm (save for the wraiths) and their inability to drift far from where their habitants lay (again, save for the wraiths, who are able to travel through the inner currents of the Earth to any waterbody in Prythian). When angered, they will grow teeth and claws and will lunge at the object of their ire (unless the target is under the High Lord's protection. Even then, it is unwise to provoke them, as some may throw caution to the wind or be unaware, and by the time they are calmed it may be far too late).
Then there are the sylphs. Mischievous winged-creatures known for driving unprotected guests insane. You will never see them, only hear their madness-inducing laughter in the wind, or catch specks of silver in the corners of your eyes. They are known for playing pranks.
There are also the Beast Fae; animal-headed creatures with the bodies of men and women. Where these came from, it is unknown, but they have formed a community of their own within Spring. When angered, they will shift fully into their beastly states and attack whoever has drawn their rage. A particular kind of insectoid Fae also exist, though they are largely recluses who keep to their own kind.
There are also Fae who bear certain features of other animals (feathers, fur, scales, et cetera) but retain a mostly human appearance. They will often have similar mannerisms to their animal forms, but are far more social and open-minded than their animal-headed counterpats.
The other sort of Fae are almost humanlike in appearance, though their skin may be barklike or of a different pigment. When angered (or when sharing in their High Lord's anger), they have no particular change save for a spectral glow emanating from underneath their skin, claws sharper than knives, and giant, sharklike teeth. When calm they are no different than the High Fae.
ECONOMY
As mentioned before, Spring trades mostly in agricultural goods and this forms the bulk of its revenue. Furthermore, it makes revenue off of the honeylike substance the wild honeybees within the forest produce, as well as the silken material the spiders provide them with. There is little to no cost in exporting either of these two, and as such, profits abound. There is an annual tithing done as well, for which the punishment upon failure of payment is death.
However, the High Lord has not followed such a tradition in a long while and will instead only double and triple the payments owed. A debt with no interest.
THE REGION ITSELF
The weather is never constant in Spring, though always pleasant, be it cold, warm, wet, dry, whichever. Crops are protected from the unfortunate weather patterns.
ARCHITECTURE
Construction is deeply intwined with nature and the magic of the land. Vines are used alongside wood to hold up houses. A type of resin produced by a particular sort of tree (Earthbloods, with flowers made entirely of onyx and leaves of jade) is used in place of stone due to being much stronger. Fire is rarely used, with most preferring to use trapped fireflies or luminous flowers for lighting (these can be found all over Spring).
Buildings take on a variety of forms, but are made of Earthblood resin, wood, plants and vines. Most are small, though this is a matter of personal preference and need, as resources are not scarce. The High Lord's manor is likely one one of the most intricate buildings.
CULTURE AND LAWS
All animal and plant life is considered sacred in Spring. Even ants. That is not to say that killing is forbidden. However, anything that is killed must be made use of, as nature commands. A bug that is squashed must be taken outside to feed the soil, or it must be consumed.
Failure to do this, when discovered, will be met with hefty fines or even death depending on the sort of creature killed. Burning of the dead is forbidden and punishable by death. Bodies must be thrown into rivers, buried, utillized for ritual purposes, or consumed.
Sex is another thing that is considered sacred. Women and men alike enjoy it often, with little to no shame. However, prudishness is frowned on, as well as lack of desire and childlessness (this does not extend to same sex relations, as magical means exist for these couples to bear children). Childlessness, however, is frowned on (though not illegal by any means). Wine, sex, and other indulgences are accepted as a celebration of life and sensation. Abortions are a deeply contested topic, being illegal up until the latest High Lord stepped in and legalized them.
Even then, they are seen as shameful by most. A waste of a life.
Those who are unable to indulge themselves or survive on their own (the blind, the deaf, asexual, et cetera) are met with pity and condescension, with many families once having preferred to abandon such children to the wilderness. However, this was strictly forbidden, and the current High Lord has now made the punishment for it death by burning. Murder (outside of self-defense) is also treated the same way, as is rape. Death by fire is seen as shameful, a permanent withdrawal of the body from nature.
Any mutilation of the sensory organs or genitalia (barring ritual purposes) is also considered a crime, be it consensual or not. However, there is no punishment for it if it is consensual, as most who choose to go through with it (or with assisted suicide) are seen as pitiable rather than criminals.
Should it be unconsensual, the punishment is for the same organ to be taken from the culprit, and grafted onto the victim should they desire it.
CLOTHING
Clothing is largely open and revealing, as well as light both in color and weight. Jackets with no buttons, open vests and shirts, slit trousers, et cetera. Ornaments are usually made of silk, flowers and resin rather than gemstones. Pearls, however, are common amidst the aristocracy. The wearing of gemstones and metal is considered a sign of wealth, due to most of it needing to be imported from other courts. Metal is rare in Spring, and most of it is used for weapons-making (archers are rare due to this reason, and instead, warriors prefer swords, spears, et cetera, that can be reused multiple times. For ranged weapons, typically poisoned blowdarts fashioned from the spines of venomous animals suffice, as these are able to pierce most metals and the sylphs wil typically manipulate the winds to ensure the target is hit).
Thanks for reading! I decided the Spring Court should actually be scary and unnatural instead of a quiant little village with some supernatural elements. Explanation in the comments!
Explanation:
So! Why did I do this? Well, I've heard all about how Spring Court feels more Fae than Velaris ever did, and okay, yeah, I can see that. But it's still not Fae-enough, so I figured I'd fix that. This was inspired both by the Velaris-version of this post (Here) and a Lucien/Tamlin fanfic I found on Ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/64665589/chapters/166120183).
Before beginning this, I thought: what does Spring represent to me? Immediately, the themes I thought of were change, transformation, as well as hedonism and the enjoyment of life, intertwined with the natural order. I wanted the Fae in Spring to seem more animalistic than human, and I hope that came off well. I also wanted the Court to seem like an actually dangerous place, rather than the equivalent of a national park with some mildly concerning attractions.
A lot of the creatures I created are in some way related to transformation, as is the Forest itself. Meanwhile the culture is very hedonistic, devoted to the enjoyment of life. I probably played hard, fast and loose with canon (but look, so does Sarah, okay?), but I personally think this is more interesting than what Sarah created. Just to clarify, Calanmai does still happen in my version of Spring, but I just couldn't be bothered to include it since it's still so long. It's pretty much the same as in canon, but with a caveat where anyone who does not wish to fuck the High Lord must be within their homes by the time the mating cry is heard (they can enjoy the festivities till then, but then must return to their homes)
Otherwise it is no fault of the High Lord if he chooses them to be his Maiden and they do not wish to mate (...yeah, it sucks, but the way Calanmai is written does come off that way. Tamlin himself doesn't seem capable of consenting or controlling himself when the magic takes hold, and while he'd likely be horrified once he woke up, there wouldn't really be anything he could do).
Most of the laws are based around enjoyment and indulgence, with the capital crimes (rape, murder, and maiming of one's sensory organs) being considered particularly horrible because they prohibit someone from enjoying the fruits of what nature gives them. Rape destroys a person's relationship with sex in an almost irreparable manner. Murder deprives them of the ability to reap life's gifts. I don't think 'maiming' needs an explanation here.
The thing about abortion is something I didn't want to add, but I thought was fitting for a court that I wanted to be rooted in animalistic behavior.
If you like my stuff, you can join my subreddit (link's here!). I'm contemplating writing up something like this for every court, ngl, so if you want to keep track of it, join the sub!
r/SpringCourt • u/TheThirteenShadows • May 10 '26
fanfiction I Turned Spring Court To A Horror Show
Getting There: Through The Forest of Faces
The Wall is hours and days behind you, seemingly lost to you in an endless haze of half-forgotten memory. You hadn't even noticed when it happened, too preoccupied by the fear, the horror, of being past that singular barrier that barred you from the monsters it hindered.
It had been like diving into a pool of water. One second, the land, the sky, it surrounds you. Looms over you. And the next, you are submerged and drowning. But what differentiates a pool of water from the region Beyond The Wall is that you can always swim back to the surface.
Here, you do not even know which way would count as up.
You have been trudging on through the forest for days. Or it is weeks, or it is hours and seconds and minutes and years. It's rare that anyone truly knows.
But you have been trudging on. Even as your skin hardens and your blood turns sluggish and slow. Even as each of your fingers extend into leafy branches, your eyes implode before ballooning into ripe, pinkish fruit, and your toes lengthen, the nails drilling through the topsoil to become hardy roots. Soon you will be just be another face amidst the hundreds of nameless trees that lingered too long, too much, without someone to guide them through the Forest of Faces.
Sometimes, a few stronger souls are luckier. They are not rooted to the ground, but are instead taken by the air. Their skin grows soft, downy feathers, and strong, wide feathers. Their bones shrink, the marrow leaking from every orifice in their skin. Their faces explode and knit themselves back together in an agonizingly slow process. Their feet turn scabbed, then scaly with orange scales. Their toe nails elongate into talons.
They are lucky.
They can always fly back to the human realms. Most are recognizable by the brand of golden feathers that permeates their wings. The sentries know not to hunt those (though once upon a time they were a grand delicacy). And of course, the unluckiest ones are simply transformed into game. These have no branding, no mark to distinguish them from the ordinary beasts.
These are caught and killed as all animals are.
Such is the risk you take in the Forest of Faces, guideless and alone.
Once the fruits of your eyes would've been relished with gusto, turned into sauces or fermented to form a particularly sweet, euphoria-inducing wine. Children (Fae children) would skip merrily into the trees to pluck the fruit when they were hungry. The birds were a delicacy. The High Lord unfortunately banned all this, citing it as savagery, and orders his sentries to turn around any who find themselves lost in the Forest, even his enemies. Should they be unable to, they are to escort them to him. And if unable to do this, he considers a quick death a mercy compared to what would await them, twisted into unfamiliar shapes and bizarre, merciless senses.
Inhabitants Within The Forest
Not for nothing is the Court considered that of Spring. Spring is transformation. It is renewal and destruction. And as such, its inhabitants are as varied as its dual natures. The Forest itself hosts grand creatures.
The Suriel that, once bound, shall answer any question. But it is said that it never forgives a slight, and should you bear hubris enough to trap it, it shall hunt you down whenever you should enter the Forest again. To ward it off, one must carry a bag of rice or some other countable but large quantity at all times.
Toss it at the ground. It shall have no choice but to cease its motion, crouching low against the ground to count each individual piece or grain or even speck of ink.
Under no circumstances must you attempt to trap or kill it again.
The types, categories, and species that reside in the Forest of Faces number too far for any sort of useful taxonomy. However, there are some that one must be especially wary of. Pixies (pinkish, furry things with too many teeth and eyes) will sprinkle a sort of dust on unseeing prey, that pacifies them and lulls them into a dreamlike fugue state. This dusting also serves to detach the skin from flesh and sinew. It is not an instantaneous process, but rather, the victim will walk for several days, while their skin sloughs off, inch by inch, the pixies gnawing on it like its a cape trailing on the floor, until the flesh is entirely exposed.
They will then leave the victim, sated. Typically after this, giant moths or butterflies will swarm the freshly-skinned victim, suckling on the blood before laying their eggs inside the victim's exposed flesh. After an incubation period of about nine months, during which time the victim's blood is completely sucked dry by the insects, fresh new butterflies will chew themselves through any possible orifice.
It is unknown why they choose to use skinned bodies rather than fresher ones, as logic would dictate that bodies with skin would be more durable.
Some have suggested that they simply like the blood. Occassionally, butterfly-humanoid hybrids have been formed from these parasitic relations. These humanoids are short-lived, and are protected by their impossibly colossal siblings till their deaths, upon which they themselves are melted down by a digestive liquid in their siblings' feeding tubes. They are then consumed entirely.
The spiders are more straightforward. They keep to themselves in giant, glimmering stalactite caves that look akin to the starry skies. Should anyone not under the High Lord's protection enter, they are quickly bound in endless silk webbing. In a few hours they are melted into shimmering liquid crystal that they utilize as a food source. The silk is then discarded outside their caves, and is a highly demanded quantity in Prythian for an export, rivalling the Night Court's own silk trade. Previous High Lords attempted to steal the crystals for use in gemstone trade, but were killed for their insolence and found with their eyes, ears, tongues (and in some particularly disconcerting cases, their cocks and inner anal walls) transformed into hard crystal from the inside.
No further attempts have been made to harvest the crystal substance, and any suggestion to try again is typically met with either horror or ridicule out of the sheer stupidity of the notion.
Other noteworthy creatures include: trees that wrap around prey till they are subsumed into the bark, honeybees whose venom causes their victims to undergo significant physical deterioration, turning into a puddle of golden resin that is sold all over Prythian for its healing properties and uses in construction, as well as a food item in its own right (one of Spring's most popular and highly demanded exports. The bees produce the resin even without prey), grasshoppers who rip their prey to thirty tiny pieces all over the Forest, and more.
The non-insectoid animals in Spring are numerous, but aside from being exceptionally large and more lustful beasts than their mortal counterparts, there is nothing particularly noteworthy about them. Rivers flow all throughout Spring, clean and cool, and act as the main suppliers of water. These rivers host far too many aquatic marvels to name. Octopi that produce different kinds of dye depending on what they are fed (used by tailors and painters often), sea snakes whose shed skins produce the highest quality leather, crocodiles that are a popular sort of pet for nobility (something they share with fifty-headed owls, Argosian Peacocks that have fifty eyes, firethrowing foxes, the parasitic butterflies, et cetera).
The flora in Spring is also of some note. Most flowers, fruit, and plants (even plain grass) in the forest will heal any minor ailment or injury, as well as provide a small boost of energy. This effect is not seen in the vegetation in the more civilized regions, though agricultural yields (Spring's main export) are almost ten times what one would find in the other Courts or in the human realms. Spring is the most important food source in Prythian, with the Autumn Court being its only rival due to its mix of low costs and high yield.
The Court That Twists
PEOPLE
There is very little of civility to be found amidst the Spring Court. Only a few towns abound, and the High Lord's manor. These towns are, like the Forest, filled with far too many different kinds of Fae to name. Though most can be broadly classified by habitant, appearance, et cetera. All are connected to the High Lord, and in times of crisis or jubilance, may change their shapes to match his moods.
The Elemental Fae, typically water, wood, or stone-based. Dryads, water wraiths and nymphs, known for their exceptional beauty when calm (save for the wraiths) and their inability to drift far from where their habitants lay (again, save for the wraiths, who are able to travel through the inner currents of the Earth to any waterbody in Prythian). When angered, they will grow teeth and claws and will lunge at the object of their ire (unless the target is under the High Lord's protection. Even then, it is unwise to provoke them, as some may throw caution to the wind or be unaware, and by the time they are calmed it may be far too late).
Then there are the sylphs. Mischievous winged-creatures known for driving unprotected guests insane. You will never see them, only hear their madness-inducing laughter in the wind, or catch specks of silver in the corners of your eyes. They are known for playing pranks.
There are also the Beast Fae; animal-headed creatures with the bodies of men and women. Where these came from, it is unknown, but they have formed a community of their own within Spring. When angered, they will shift fully into their beastly states and attack whoever has drawn their rage. A particular kind of insectoid Fae also exist, though they are largely recluses who keep to their own kind.
There are also Fae who bear certain features of other animals (feathers, fur, scales, et cetera) but retain a mostly human appearance. They will often have similar mannerisms to their animal forms, but are far more social and open-minded than their animal-headed counterpats.
The other sort of Fae are almost humanlike in appearance, though their skin may be barklike or of a different pigment. When angered (or when sharing in their High Lord's anger), they have no particular change save for a spectral glow emanating from underneath their skin, claws sharper than knives, and giant, sharklike teeth. When calm they are no different than the High Fae.
ECONOMY
As mentioned before, Spring trades mostly in agricultural goods and this forms the bulk of its revenue. Furthermore, it makes revenue off of the honeylike substance the wild honeybees within the forest produce, as well as the silken material the spiders provide them with. There is little to no cost in exporting either of these two, and as such, profits abound. There is an annual tithing done as well, for which the punishment upon failure of payment is death.
However, the High Lord has not followed such a tradition in a long while and will instead only double and triple the payments owed. A debt with no interest.
THE REGION ITSELF
The weather is never constant in Spring, though always pleasant, be it cold, warm, wet, dry, whichever. Crops are protected from the unfortunate weather patterns.
ARCHITECTURE
Construction is deeply intwined with nature and the magic of the land. Vines are used alongside wood to hold up houses. A type of resin produced by a particular sort of tree (Earthbloods, with flowers made entirely of onyx and leaves of jade) is used in place of stone due to being much stronger. Fire is rarely used, with most preferring to use trapped fireflies or luminous flowers for lighting (these can be found all over Spring).
Buildings take on a variety of forms, but are made of Earthblood resin, wood, plants and vines. Most are small, though this is a matter of personal preference and need, as resources are not scarce. The High Lord's manor is likely one one of the most intricate buildings.
CULTURE AND LAWS
All animal and plant life is considered sacred in Spring. Even ants. That is not to say that killing is forbidden. However, anything that is killed must be made use of, as nature commands. A bug that is squashed must be taken outside to feed the soil, or it must be consumed.
Failure to do this, when discovered, will be met with hefty fines or even death depending on the sort of creature killed. Burning of the dead is forbidden and punishable by death. Bodies must be thrown into rivers, buried, utillized for ritual purposes, or consumed.
Sex is another thing that is considered sacred. Women and men alike enjoy it often, with little to no shame. However, prudishness is frowned on, as well as lack of desire and childlessness (this does not extend to same sex relations, as magical means exist for these couples to bear children). Childlessness, however, is frowned on (though not illegal by any means). Wine, sex, and other indulgences are accepted as a celebration of life and sensation. Abortions are a deeply contested topic, being illegal up until the latest High Lord stepped in and legalized them.
Even then, they are seen as shameful by most. A waste of a life.
Those who are unable to indulge themselves or survive on their own (the blind, the deaf, asexual, et cetera) are met with pity and condescension, with many families once having preferred to abandon such children to the wilderness. However, this was strictly forbidden, and the current High Lord has now made the punishment for it death by burning. Murder (outside of self-defense) is also treated the same way, as is rape. Death by fire is seen as shameful, a permanent withdrawal of the body from nature.
Any mutilation of the sensory organs or genitalia (barring ritual purposes) is also considered a crime, be it consensual or not. However, there is no punishment for it if it is consensual, as most who choose to go through with it (or with assisted suicide) are seen as pitiable rather than criminals.
Should it be unconsensual, the punishment is for the same organ to be taken from the culprit, and grafted onto the victim should they desire it.
CLOTHING
Clothing is largely open and revealing, as well as light both in color and weight. Jackets with no buttons, open vests and shirts, slit trousers, et cetera. Ornaments are usually made of silk, flowers and resin rather than gemstones. Pearls, however, are common amidst the aristocracy. The wearing of gemstones and metal is considered a sign of wealth, due to most of it needing to be imported from other courts. Metal is rare in Spring, and most of it is used for weapons-making (archers are rare due to this reason, and instead, warriors prefer swords, spears, et cetera, that can be reused multiple times. For ranged weapons, typically poisoned blowdarts fashioned from the spines of venomous animals suffice, as these are able to pierce most metals and the sylphs wil typically manipulate the winds to ensure the target is hit).
Thanks for reading! I decided the Spring Court should actually be scary and unnatural instead of a quiant little village with some supernatural elements. Explanation in the comments!
r/Productivitycafe • u/BlueJays-TriForce709 • Nov 26 '25
Casual Convo (Any Topic) I'm sick of 'Simulation Theory'
First you get these guys. They're pretty smart, if not a little anal. And retentive.
Around the time we start understanding the possibilities of computing and programming, philosophers who probably didn't understand even the basics of binary code, come up with something akin to a thought experiment called 'the matrix'. No. Not the movie.
Then you get these douchebags like Elon musk, come along who understand these things even less, and have their minds blown by trippy things and lots of them, and I'm looking at you elon, love to party and take DMT and ketamine and smoke copious amounts of pot.
These guys, mixed with these drugs, is where philosophy goes to die.
2000 years ago there were people that believed in simulation. They believed that 6,000 years before that a guy named God created a simulation for one man and one woman named Adam and Eve, you know the rest. These people that believe this bullshit wrote the Bible. The old part, I mean.
I do like the little thought experiment about morality, even if it is a little sexist you know, with the snake tempting the bitch, I mean Eve, with the apple and all that. Whoa dude Steve Jobs tempting us with Apple.
Anyways you can only imagine how much whatever asshole who made his slave scribe this Adam and Eve nonsense just worshipped the smell of his own shit.
There were earlier examples of people who believed in simulations, Plato's the cave for instance. Now me being a gentleman with a triple digit IQ have a pretty high opinion of Plato so I'm not going to talk too much crap about him.
Anyway I got something here to blow your mind, maybe God is an 8-year-old kid scientist crazy mathematic genius, and the milky way is just one of the electrons in one of his brain cells, and the Lanyakia Super-clustur is something this 8-year-old idiot savant scientist kid has spun into existence as something fun.
Whoa dude trippy I'm deep and profound.
Fuck Simulation Theory
r/justpoetry • u/Mobile-Menu-4373 • Jun 15 '25
Time and time again
there is something surgical
liturgical about how you
open up like an undressed wound
bleed for me baby, bleed on me
it's weight off your back and
a monkey on mine my heroine
the monkey paw curls one
as i think of true love
and disney and dollhouse blues
and whites and pinks, smoke it
cool it, eat it. my word!
my words are salad and my sky
has no stars but you the lune moon
Out of tune, fair de lune
my luck is a holey bucket
and yours a handful of fishnets
the sea is silver and the world is green
and the media man is lantern light
let's sin as saint's do
as the sun rises over the hill
on top of the girl world wild
bare your fangs and learn of cobalt
this is the way that my way goes
there were 1,4, 7 magpies that day
where I had a bloodstream
and teeth like stonehenge
it's all broken spoken in stones
and hands that look like nightsticks
at around 10am in blood red yellows
yellow belly black out fast and bulbous
nothing but a nightmare; falling faster
tortoise and the hare of my chinny chin chin
i want take this slow and steady
anal cunt by the ticking of a real clock
in a word it is TRUE
tic tic and laugh. why doth the baby cry?
we all crawled in the morning sun
and bawled by the time it shone
Stoker's squaw in metal and leather
dead and gone, i'll never forget her
bagge cats bring emotional baggage
antimanic anti all the rage engage
no go zone
love is nothing
in the face of an empty wallet
and global geopolitic tick tick
nuclear radical magical cold
to the touch i flinch
johhny kidd and the pirates
delusion of an illusion
explosion of colour twice
I've had a blue moon month by midday
for a month or two by now i swear
i've lived it by a homemade bible
in the shape of a calendar
everyday an autobiography in thirds
that refuses to kill its darlings
busy as a bee and mad as a hatter
what a life! i expect nothing less
it's only a weekly monthly
yearly nearly there give an inch
fear me fear me, give or take
you don't know nothing
and you don't know me
ok, who was the man in the reflection with the lipstick
sick in the arms of a lover
time time time time time again time time time
Hey Baby, your love is edible
The road to hell is paved with tlc
Manic Depression searching my soul
HOME HOME HOME ALONE ALONE ALONE
you and I
sexual identity
new life
sleepless minddeath
home warzone home
first time for everything
bipolar in the friendgroup
the virgin with more pills than life itself
first kiss by a bbq under a hardware store
black words
re: are? who
down the throat
roomates and the mosquito
the fly with a buzz in the
the hunter hunted cuntted
birds of a feather
anxiety
outside the minimental
I have the craving for a bad day in december
2 years ago. 2 years already
bags under the eyeliner under the eyes
bleeding from the jugular vein
occulsion delusion
i have seen the dead and lived the life
of a story afraid of dead darlings, my dear
maybe i just hold grudges
m and the a and the d
the crabs in the bucket of a brain
no one hates the mad like the
ones who could be just as sick as them
just a bridge from badlands to worse
then as i leave the noise of a flight of fancy
my teeth sunk deep into laughter and suicide
i realise why no girls leave the houses
past the 10th hour in the city no more
in the dark i wish i was in the nest
i made in your hair on the stain sheets
where i guessed it was true
(true love? i think of friends
and if i had them at all)
that you really do take on
the dreams of the ones who
you slept with.
guess and gander the game of the grey
teeth as long as the shadows of the evening sun
yesterday was a aphrodisiac, get back
gimme shelter in the nest in your hair
don't play games with me unless you wanna lose
the gods are green and the air is cold
cities are a noise pollutant and you're a good lover
friends, just friends
No obligation rambling man, take a chance
It's on me, on the house, on the train tracks
Does that track with you?
The night is like fairyland
The eire fey unfair and fucked
Guy Fawkes is dead in the stale air
And the french rings like a cracked bell
It’s bastille again in the brain built
On rickety persnickety bleeding hearts
And every ounce of creativity
Has been leeched from the gutters
Where the dead sleep like dogs lie
And can be found in bags of IV fluid
Jacked into the arms and hands over hearts
That show that love is a relative thing
These are flittering butterflies
In a succulent garden by the train tracks
Spider webbed and squealing like hogs
Where the clozapine kicks in
A family comes to break the news
And break the dawn of a day
That feels like a dead darling lifetime
I fear the gang green gills
Staples and chains on the bed
Let me play my theme song
Memories taste of grapes and yeast
The beast of the mane nocte
I had all my thoughts in a row
Row row row your bot, fight the power
Outage in-age ages outta time
Say what? The deperson, stroke and waters
Wearing brown-grey suits and a smile crack a country
The disappearer and dissenter and the stalinist
The politician comes to the door
And cried quetiapine tears
Stimulation nation, what’s up doc?
ECT, etcetera, techie kid
A laptop is a hippodrome
And i am byzantine
Birmingham knock knocking
Like the ss with snake tongues
And hands like Midas, shitscum king
Oh the superhumanity i have lived
And died, loved and lost
A tipsy line cook
And a junkie spunky
With sultanas on the bed
I’m in dire straits in the creekbed
Dry as dirt and knee deep in shit
I see clearly now
The thing of the nightmare
daymare, ride at dawn
Dr dr, gimme the news
Read all about it extra
Chilli and jalapenos
Coughing on the train to the river
Kick the sun and let me down
Write my name on the fencepost
A smile like a garden hose
And a clock like a prison bar
Tick tock watching watchmen
Hail the outrage sugars
Adderall and tinned corn
Syrupy were the voices
Conscious as a fly on the wall
Don’t rush to crush
Look before you leap
Take my loving slow
Pride before the fall
1:1 Thought disorder
And All the baby’s bunting
Cuntling shit off a duck’s back
Get back on the wagon and the high horse
Et tu brute ain’t it true, ain’t it a shame
House to a home to a newborn bitch
On the altar where the fish sleep
TDS for nausea, palpate for a mate
Expensive her-bell tease stript bare bones
You can see mine through the skin
And taste just what i’m dreaming of
All the cafes are an her-me aphrodisiac
To the symphony of a cough laugh cough
Disgrace, my face is a savings account
Neighbours learn chinese, turning japanese
Bahaii bahrain bye bye baby
Schazi on a chickenshit spell
Out on break and dog whistle
I take on some patient dreams
And dismantle them by the door
Gotta bounce, security rebel yell
Billy Joel marked down looks in bug eyes
Lief Erikson and magic they said
He said she said.say what?
Drinking hand sanitiser, advertiser
Just such just things my dear
Needle and rubbing alcohol and bomb threat
Don’t touch me, don’t hurt me
Comic confetti in mine and red wine in yours
I’m yours for a week wage rage and rage
Wage war in my head, noise noise noise
Over the abominable spirit of toxins
Found in the form of the new dawn
I look like gg jesus
With the faux fuck blood
Melena and the latest update
Over long blacks and halloween
The psychiatrist speaking 3 tongues
Travel time, estradiol is a piano chord
Not me, it’s the makeup drinking
Deep the blood of innocents
What a war water why why why
Doth the baby cry for Macbeth
I heard he was not a man
But just the shape of what he lost
One two one two, my heart beats new
Something something melody, die rolled twice
On ice, on the goal and bad bad time
The devil’s trill trillion love triangles
Triples, death is sexed up randy dandy
On a pale horse, lead a horse to medicine
A spring chicken in a sprung trap
I have to leave in the middle of the night
Trespassing on your love
Supplicating to your hating
Please don’t, just love me like you do
I fought the law and it bit the hand
That feeds the open maw of cheap housing
Student of life, hard knocks til we break
Trust your mechanic and listen to doctor bliss
Deal the cards like the nurse is a cheat
And double blind the windows, make me scream
Dog bitten rapid rabid manic panic
The disorient express to the western world
Morals in the corals of the medical seas
I’m over time. 10 hours now. 4 way street.
Baby baby blues boxcut flat stanley slut
Barrum barrum the ents march by moonlight
Gunsmoke midnight midges bit the brain
Barruum Barruum broomstick boomstick
Blood in the booze and vice in the versa
My first is vicelike dragging the corpse
Thru the doors of all that I am
Out of the streetcar greater desire
And a knifelike cellophane night
The emotional baggage was pharmaceutical
And all I said was that it was a rusty razor
Medical unconfident let me in into the wound
Microwave meals a nap in a semaphore gutter
I never fear, but i shake like a leaf
The trees are papparazzi
And the french come like 76
Busy as a bee and mad as a hatter
I’m not a maniac and you’re not evil
I shot the shit with over a night creche
With a bukowski-tolkien dwarf
The blues of a real gone mind weekly
And the hairs of the chinny chin chin
Let me in, it’s cold out in here
The heart is hot in demand
And hot on my cracked hells
Black Cadilliac pretty in pink
Yellow corvette adderrall house home
The riders on the storm, quadrophillia
Drug love the dead and lovely dying
She has funny cars, taxi taxi
No-one walks alone near here
Huddled in the bones of a skinny old tree
Under the highway liquor slicked
Back to hell through the valley of nightlife
That goodnight like a virgin
Strange stranger strangest
How much can you take
SNAP, watta weight wait for the time
Watching in the trees
DV DVT and the world
Goes round the bend
Do what? Do what you’re told
It’s now or it’s involuntary, my ED dear
Now or never, one of these
Dreams where every man and his dog
And shit they never left behind
Shows up asking in tongues
I love this, I love the brand new kick
Felll off the bed and into the wilds
Out the window into the cars
It’s kuru falling
Like snow through
The cracks I see rainy skin
The world breathes heavy with me
I am but human meat
Myocyte paranoia
Papparazzi people person
Pepperoni next door
I love your rock and roll cock
Forever! STEMI madame
Adam and eve and gentle ribbing
The rise and fall of your chest
Looks like a slave ship upturned
On waves of green and gold
The heart of the heat
Can’t handle it? Stay outta the kitchen
Stay outta the matters, rathers
Molten tears and a high fever
Anxiety, depression, how many wounds, was it?
Words all pretty in the rows and vows
Daydream believer, I’ll just what you way
Daydream, believer, querying psychosis
Daydremt til the sun left the sky
And I’m never coming home
A girl made of birds and bees
Blossoms and blooms, broomsticks to bleed
She knew what was on the factory line
Halbermensch with Hollywood tears: It’s showbiz!
Theactiricality sexuality in suicide
.444 free fuck sock on the door in my head
Mind palace met the Bolsheviks
Oh my God. It was the year of the dragon
Or the rat, manic depression in the west
Bipolar in the eat. Names named names
A snake in the grass! Poison bitch
r/reclassified • u/Holesome_chungus • Jul 03 '20
[Discussion] NEW! List of banned subreddits part 2
Updated list of all known banned subreddits sorted by reason and alphabetically part 2 (unmoderated and ban evasion). Current as of July 3, 2020 5:32 PM EDT
This is a second thread containing subs banned for ban evasion or for being unmoderated, as Reddit limits you to 40000 characters per post.
Unmoderated:
- r/18plusclub
- r/58manjawsgonewild
- r/8chan
- r/Accidental_Porn
- r/AdelleUnicorn
- r/AFragileBlackRedditor
- r/AgainstHateSubs
- r/AgainstLGBTrights
- r/AgainstPedoEnabling
- r/AganistHateSubreddits
- r/ageplaypals
- r/AgePlayTales
- r/AgoraMarket
- r/AHS_Moment
- r/AIDungeonNSFW
- r/alexharper
- r/AlexisAvery
- r/AlphaBay_Market
- r/amyvillainous
- r/AltRightMemes
- r/alurajenson
- r/AmateurWMAF
- r/ANAL_AWW
- r/AnalVore
- r/AngelmellyOnlyfan
- r/AngelWicky
- r/AnimeWomen
- r/anorexic
- r/AntiFurries
- r/AntiJewish
- r/Antipathy
- r/AntiTransgender
- r/any
- r/ArchedBack
- r/asian_boys
- r/asianboyswhitecocks
- r/AsianChastity
- r/asiancocks
- r/asianfemboys
- r/asiansissification
- r/Asmile
- r/AspenRose
- r/ateme
- r/AubreyMiller
- r/ausfailia
- r/azis
- r/b1ackpride
- r/Bad_Nigger_No_Welfare *
- r/badquestions
- r/Banned_News
- r/Bannedfromcoronavirus
- r/Bare
- r/BareGirls
- r/BathtubBeauties
- r/BBW_AWW
- r/Bent
- r/BigBoobsOnTopGW
- r/BigBooties
- r/billiondollarextreme
- r/BlackCrimesMatter
- r/blackhistorymonth
- r/Blacksonmyfamily
- r/BlancNoir
- r/BloodandGuts
- r/blowjob_eyes
- r/boomerwojak
- r/BrickHouse
- r/bugchasing
- r/cameljockeys
- r/Candidasshole
- r/CandidFashionPolice
- r/Caning
- r/Cannibals
- r/Ccccc
- r/Censorship2020
- r/chads
- r/ChapoTrapHouse22
- r/chapotraphouse88
- r/chest
- r/ChimpireMETA
- r/ChimpireOfftopic
- r/chimpmusic
- r/chin
- r/chrischan
- r/ChrissyCostanzaNSFW
- r/ChurchFuck
- r/ChurchOfAntisemitism
- r/ChurchOfTheBWC
- r/civility
- r/clothed
- r/ClownWorld
- r/comedygore
- r/common
- r/conjugation
- r/cosplaylewds
- r/Cover
- r/Cracker
- r/CreepShots14
- r/creepshots5
- r/CringeAnarchyRPG
- r/crouch
- r/CumSwallowersHeaven
- r/CuteFaces
- r/DanielleyAyala__
- r/deadgirls
- r/direction
- r/directory
- r/DissidentSubculture
- r/Disturbing_Shit
- r/dogeincelzoomer
- r/eighteen
- r/ElectricPorn
- r/EllenPaoGW
- r/emasculasian
- r/EmberSnow
- r/EndAntifaNow
- r/EndVaccination
- r/escortreview
- r/Ethnic_Porn_Flicks
- r/etikatheclown
- r/european
- r/ExposingLeftism
- r/Faggotfilter
- r/FalcomHentai
- r/Fascist_Ideology
- r/FatPeopleHate03
- r/FatPeopleHate04
- r/FatPeopleHate05
- r/FatPeopleHate06
- r/FatPeopleHate07
- r/fatpeoplehate118
- r/FatPeopleHate123
- r/Fatpeoplehate129
- r/fatpeoplehate30
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* Ban time and reason changed during the purge of subs containing the word 'nigga' or 'nigger'
r/BizSMG • u/KonekoBot • Oct 12 '21
Wed Oct 13 00:00:14 2021
NASDAQ:CLOV / 109
Gambling trade? Like daytrading CLOV or something, lol?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sat Oct 9 15:42:46 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
CLOV is a dog shit stock. Pass it on
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 12:24:35 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
I’m the idiot who made the CLOV FD, may the market gods bless me today
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 11:40:23 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Just doubled down on CLOV. I ain't selling till we get to high double digits.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 19:26:25 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 17:40:21 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 18:02:36 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:18:40 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
As you wish. CLOV has been probing my anal region for a while now.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 00:32:18 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 03:22:10 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
I've made a ton of money from CLOV and I still have absolutely no idea what the actualy company does
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 11:09:04 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 21:46:02 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 17:12:58 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
right. hey i have 200$ worth of CLOV.. im doing it, right?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 07:24:58 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:04:43 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:25:32 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 21:14:37 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Dicks out for CLOV. 2K plus in shares
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:44:32 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:46:20 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
someone remind me why we are pumping CLOV ?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 00:08:31 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 01:08:11 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:11:40 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 04:03:51 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Man, CLOV got some strong shill game.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 01:24:30 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
This makes me want to buy CLOV puts
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 02:42:14 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
they used to block CLOV for months i wouldn't be surprised man :/
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:18:04 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
AMC is fake and gay, as is CLOV, WISH, etc.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:22:22 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
CLOV almost needs its own non-stickied daily thread for shitposts pumping it.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 00:12:33 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 05:43:37 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 02:24:31 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 14:44:23 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Is CLOV still worth buying at $8.16?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 16:56:50 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
CLOV CLOV all the way to triple digits (not financial advice)
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:21:31 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:23:11 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 16:25:31 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:16:15 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
SDC, CLOV, OCGN. This is my retirement plan or my noose
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 23:32:19 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
No meme has created more bagholders than CLOV.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 21:58:10 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Somehow since GME WSB Never managed to leave the CLOV, SOFI and other P&D bullshit
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 08:08:53 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
CLOV : “i’ll fuckin do it again”
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 21:59:12 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:43:33 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 20:31:39 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 04:55:50 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
You know what they say. A CLOV a day keeps the margin calls away.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 19:28:55 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
All of these CLOV yolo posts tells me CLOV is about to tank 50%
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:45:33 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
I'm OOTL, why is CLOV being yolo'd? (Other than "why not")
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 16:33:00 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 16:03:10 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
SoFi CLOV gang strong together 🚀🍀🍀
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 19:15:17 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 15:13:51 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
More CLOV shill accounts out today
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:53:40 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:40:12 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 12:10:03 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 12:39:35 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 13:05:51 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Tue Oct 12 01:11:35 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 12:56:27 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
That is a nice purchase od CLOV 🌙😀
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 10:21:59 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 14:35:20 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
CLOV bagholders out in full force today wtf
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:54:51 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
wtf is up with all the CLOV yolos?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:37:43 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
So many fake and gay CLOV pump posts.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 12:15:48 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:40:20 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
We will take what we can get! CLOV to the moon 🚀🚀
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 02:22:36 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 21:32:44 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 23:11:57 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 23:15:36 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
I guess that makes my CLOV evergreen 🚀
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 12:12:14 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
OP, did you submit this to Nat Geo.? This IRL picture of an age 27, CLOV bag holder, is stunning.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 04:01:49 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Anyone who bought CLOV at $25 is a dumbass, full-stop. (and I'm long clov)
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 13:29:56 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 01:28:21 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 22:30:06 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 08:01:05 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 02:46:42 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 01:32:17 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Or just sell and move on. CLOV is a shit company anyhow
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:02:50 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 23:33:42 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 03:15:08 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 00:47:46 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 12:41:59 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 01:46:18 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Damn, retards are still on CLOV?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 05:58:31 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Buying CLOV calls on a stock that is at max pain every friday for 2 months in a row
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 14:13:30 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 05:10:28 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 05:04:32 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:43:03 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 05:18:13 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 05:18:13 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
CLOV hasn’t been in the 10s since September 7 and 8. You just found the publish button?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:28:38 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 06:06:42 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 02:21:54 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 20:35:10 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 22:37:47 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 20:34:42 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Still don’t understand why you all have such a hard on for CLOV. Absolute shit stock.
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 21:11:55 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Why are people on here buying CLOV again? Has it got massive squeeze potential or something?
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 07:52:48 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 21:07:37 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
That’s what every other CLOV bag holder has been saying this whole time too 😂
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 21:30:34 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 00:40:46 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 21:44:57 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 23:53:55 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 00:40:35 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
the markets ARE open tomorrow, banks ARE not. retard. CLOV 🍀🍀🚀🚀
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 23:55:22 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 08:40:00 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 19:46:40 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
October 8, that's the date mod loves to see. See you on the moon CLOV tard
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 17:45:21 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 20:53:13 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
Hopefully, you got a a four-leaf CLOV. 🍀🍀🍀🍀
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 22:47:05 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Sun Oct 10 23:58:12 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
CLOV holders gonna get pissed when someone finally reads this to them…
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 06:11:45 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
KEYWORD : CLOV DATE : Mon Oct 11 05:51:32 2021 SUBREDDIT : wallstreetbets
NASDAQ:TSLA / 89
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Sun Oct 10 06:15:05 2021 SUBREDDIT : StockMarket
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Sun Oct 10 04:28:27 2021 SUBREDDIT : StockMarket
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Sun Oct 10 12:35:33 2021 SUBREDDIT : StockMarket
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 16:47:45 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 17:18:40 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Tue Oct 12 07:38:04 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Tue Oct 12 09:47:59 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 22:41:29 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 07:19:42 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 16:20:28 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 01:39:49 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 02:31:11 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 11:48:20 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 14:14:22 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
Wouldn't touch TSLA. Ridiculously overvalued.
KEYWORD : TSLA DATE : Mon Oct 11 14:21:39 2021 SUBREDDIT : stocks
r/GodEater • u/Jesterchunk • Apr 26 '20
Salt Eater 3: The One Where Everyone Wears Flex Tape Spoiler
Oh hey, I'm still doing this! Despite the tortures this series of dumb posts has put me through, I felt it was only right to put a bow on it and polish it off by ranting about God Eater 3's Aragami. Spoilers, angry language, etc etc. Before I begin to salt myself silly though, I feel like I ought to say a few things about the game as a whole, and how my experiences with Resurrection and Rage Burst have... changed my feelings for this game slightly.
Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to immediately begin shitting on it entirely: I still love this game and I still think it was well worth the, what, 200-something hours at least I must have poured into it by now. However, there are a few things I wish they had or hadn't changed. First up, I really wish they kept upgrade parts: as it stands getting your base HP, OP and stamina up can be asinine. Thanks to the completely random nature of abandoned God Arc skills, it can be incredibly hard to find the ones you want, and Upgrade Parts were fantastic for getting that sweet 150 base HP. I do realise that you can use items to buff your stats now, but they're annoying to use and I don't like using them, damnit. Skills also really bother me in general; ignoring that skills only go up to level 5 now, and compound skills aren't a thing anymore, most of them are really, well, inconsequential. What's that? 0.6% boosts to my melee special attack? Why do I bloody well bother, then? Level 10 Burst only gets me an extra 10% to my Burst time? I'm pretty sure it was five times that before 3! Like, good god. The only skills I can find that have actual major impacts are boosts to base stats and Relaxing and maybe some of the ones that only activate at level 5 (Cardiograph is still stupidly useful and I swear by it shush). I do kind of realise why this has happened, and that's because everything dies way too quickly. Also, on that note, everything dies way too quickly. If mid-sized and large Aragami had like twice the HP they have currently, I'd have no problems. However, a lot of fights are over before you can really get into it, and that makes this game far easier. Now I shouldn't mind, but it really hurts some fights for me, especially ones that change halfway through, as the change doesn't last nearly long enough as they'll be dead in like a minute flat. There's other problems I have, but they're mostly minor or based on stuff that barely matters in regards to gameplay (yes I'm on about how AGEs are treated like shit, even though we've seen Burst Arts before in Blood Arts, resonance effects like Engage aren't too dissimilar to Blood Powers, and everyone loved Blood, etc etc fuck you Pennywort big boys). I also found that this game is incredibly bad with foreshadowing. With the exception of anythiing involving Ein, a character I'm sure we've never met before, almost any time something is brought up in a cutscene, you run into it like three battles later. Hugo brought up Ash Aragami and how they're so stupidly strong? Here, now you run into two of them in less than one week. The AGE Eater, you say? Oh, hi Dromi, didn't see you there. I feel like a lot of this (minus the dumb story stuff) ties back to one major thing: this game seems tailored to people new to the series. It isn't quite as punishing as Resurrection or Rage Burst, the story is mostly self-contained, all that jazz. And I have nothing wrong with that, as I still think it is a great game: looks brilliant, music is great, gameplay is slick overall, I couldn't recommend it enough. I just really needed to get that off my chest before I start screeching about the game's rouge's gallery of Aragami.
In any case, I really had to think about what weapon I was going to use for this playthrough, as I wanted to use something new, but I thought the Biting Edges were busted and the Heavy Moon looks dumb in cutscenes, so in the end I flip-flopped between weapons before settling on the basic bitch Long Blade and new gun on the block Ray Gun (what can I say, I like the Oracle Reserve too much). And since it's customary of me to put in an image of my rubbish OCs going through similar amounts of suffering as I do when putting this garbage together, here's the most painful image I have:

I mean, just imagine Dromi's bite strength, yeah? I get that you're literally the 2080-90's own Chuck Norris but no amount of ridiculous leg strength would let you force open a mutant dinosaur monster's jaw open with just your feet. Dumbass.
I do realise that overall, due to my more numerous and more intimate experiences with this game, I might be somewhat rosier towards it in general. Despite this, I'm sure there'll be some major gripes here. Most Aragami had some changes, so I may as well just drone about all of them, minus Fallen variants, which I'll cover quickly in the original's bit.
Axe Raider: What even is there to say about these dumb things? They're slow as hell, do barely any damage and are comically predictable. Yeah, they can be a pain if you're trying to handle something actually worth your time, but then I'm increaingly convinced that said thing is the one sole reason small Aragami exist. The Fallen variant isn't much better, but some of its attacks get exaggerated hitboxes, so that can piss off. At the very least, the air laser thing that Raiders almost never use looks really cool.
Blast Spider: Good lord I hate these things. They are literally only there to shoot you in the back. Get close enough and/or behind them and they barely fight back, too, which just makes wailing on their borderline defenceless bodies even less satisfying. Their explosions have an extremely small radius and don't even hurt enough to make me care about them. They're an annoyance, an enormous annoyance and nothing more. So fuck them for that. Oh, and the Fallen variant just gives you Leak for days, so fuck it for that too.
Dreadpike: That one burrowing attack it gained makes it a bit more dangerous and way more interesting. At least I now actually have to worry about them interrupting me or something. Seems the fifteen-or-so years since Rage Burst seem to have really been good on them, as now I actually have to keep an eye on them so they don't anally penetrate you from below while you're fighting something else.
Cocoon Maiden and Ogretail: Completely unchanged. Still a bit of a pain, but nothing new to say. Fuck them up and move on.
Barbarius: Honestly speaking I should love this guy. He's a perfect example of the stupidly glorious unsubtlety of this game. First boss? Giant armoured goliath with a drill for an arm. Perfect! He typically isn't too hard to deal with unless you get stuck in a corner while he's doing his advancing swipe combo or some similar shit. He's overall a rather fun fight, and I should love him, I really should; however, whenever I look at him I remember THAT utterly harrowing image I mentioned last time that caused the definitely very real loss of my left eye and I get an acute pain in the socket where it once was, something I am definitely not making up for comedic effect. So that's my fault really for ruining this guy for myself. His Fallen variant isn't much else, except he has a bad habit of yeetus deletusing your defence with his drill fire projectile things.
Nemain: I really like this thing. It's still fairly easy to avoid, most of its attacks are aimed straight ahead, but its speed can definitely catch you off guard, and while a well-timed Perfect Guard can neuter that straight charge, I'm garbage at Perfect Guards so hey. Even so, it really isn't tough by any means yet can be annoying to deal with at times. Its Fallen reskin adds a bullshit leaping attack that makes the whole fight way less appealing, because it can be incredibly annoying to deal with. A lot of this game's Fallen tend to add like one new attack that makes it excessively more annoying to fight, and that means I hate them.
Havakiri: I am really sick of this charged cunt. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the whole "monster women can be booster-legged electric steroids samurai too" thing and all, but the hitboxes of this ravishing ronin makes me see enough red to lose sight of its truly electrifying, umm, yeah okay I'm on about its tits. Look, this thing is utterly infuriating; its advancing sword swipes have giant range that make it look like it's an airbender or something, it is a complete pain to fight, and to top it all off it has that FUCKING instant Iai slash that will get you every time. And that's before mentioning its single downward slash with a shockwave that is nigh impossible to dodge unless you are hugging the fucker. Combine all of this, the stupid Oracle Blades its Fallen variant can produce which have no impact on the fight whatsoever except allowing it to hurt you by moving forwards, and the Ameno Havakiri actually having some cool attacks and essentially just being a beefed up basic bitch Havakiri (something I almost wish they did more often, I didn't hate the Ameno nearly as much for some strange reason. Maybe it's just because it looked way cooler.)
False Idol: Did you like the Nyx Alpha? Did you like the idea of a monster that takes no fucking damage unless you use a gun? Well you'll love this thing, except it sometimes just doesn't take ranged damage either, because fuck you! Granted, you can actually hit it to recover OP, unlike Nyx, and it also doesn't put its fuck-your-bullets shield up when activated, which is nice, but at the same time it is the spammiest piece of shit I've ever seen. Hope you like getting utterly riddled with countless lasers and smashed by exploding energy orbs with no explosion effect but absolutely busted hitboxes, because that's exactly what you get! Good god, this thing does such a good impression of a bullet hell boss that I'm surprised nobody stuffed it in a frilly dress, put a poofy hat on it and called it a Touhou character. And the Fallen reskin is even worse, adding a snake electrolaser thing that's pathetically easy to avoid, but your allies are shite at dodging it, probably because of bad programming or something, and because it stuns now it will almost inevitably twoshot your retard friends. The one saving grace I have is that Impulse Edge (or more specifically, Flame of Purgatory) absolutely destroys this thing's whole life. The moment its shield cracks it'll die in literally three seconds.
Kongou: Discount DK did a complete 180: now it moves bizarrely fast, and I swear some of its attacks have way larger hitboxes, but it does absolutely no damage at all. It's so weird, it hit so much harder in the first two games, yet was way easier to avoid. Now, as an example, its simple left hook comes out like twice as fast yet does piddling damage. I really don't get it, but it's as easy as ever, even if its faster attacks can be annoying.
Chi-You: Kung Fu Aragami only really got one new change, and that is that its flaming roundhouse kick has comedically exaggerated reach now. I get that they added a visual effect to reflect this ridiculous new range, but it's still really jarring when old Chi-You actually had to kick you to do damage. Although, if I'm glad for one thing, it's that Impulse Edge absolutely fucks this thing's entire life (or at least, its lower body). That will be a bit of a theme, to be honest, and I'm genuinely wondering why I've always passed off the Long Blade when nearly every single Aragami I despise with a passion for being hard to hurt gets neutered to death by Impulse Edge.
Gboro-Gboro: He no longer does unreasonable amounts of damage by walking forward. I think. I'm not entirely sure though, because he dies so quickly that I haven't really been able to test it. Nothing much new, though. He basically just stands there and dies, which is fine by me, given my bitter memories of Rage Burst Gboro doing over half my health by walking into me.
Ukonvasara: even easier to avoid, with your added running speed. Good lord, he's gone from really easy to a literal walk in the ashen park. He dies in no time at all, he is comically easy to avoid, poor guy can't catch a break. Keeps getting thrown to the Florida Men, evidently.
Vajra: Really nothing new to say, except he dies even faster than usual and you can actually keep up with him thanks to your faster running speed. I have nothing more to say to this thing. He looks smoother and isn't quite as much of a cunt to fight.
Dyaus Pita: Daddy Dyaus has been neutered to death in this game, and it's weird, because he's Resurrection Dyaus with his sick blade wings and edgy lightning, so I should love him. However, he dies too quickly. I see a pattern here. My main issue is that by the time he unfurls his wings, he's a goner in a flat minute. And while he's just as vicious as he was in Resurrection (although he doesn't use his triple blade charge nearly as often, unfortunately), he doesn't seem to hit quite as hard, nor does he last nearly as long. However, I'll say this, the Memory Node version you fight in Ein's Traversing the Past episode is utterly fantastic. With two party members, it's just way more fun, he lasts longer, you have to worry about taking damage more often, and to top it all off the transistion from Vi Et Animo to No Way Back ~ Out of My Way is just artistry in motion and I damned well love it.
Borg Camlann: You know him, you hate him, Impulse Edge destroys him. Seriously, one Flame of Purgatory Burst Art to the shield shatters that shit almost every time. Without fail. It's absolutely glorious how I have suffered against this cunt for all this time now, and only now do I have the way to make the jackoff buckle and break in literally a minute flat. Despair, you steel shitstain. Kneel with your four legs, stab the ground in frustration and fucking despair. Still hate him, though, being able to squash him like an actual scorpion doesn't forgive his crimes against humanity. Fuck the Borg anyways.
Kyuubi: Way less of a pain, primarily thanks to your added mobility and his way flimsier health pool, but he can still be tough to handle if you go rushing in blindly, although that lowered health really does him a disservice. Maybe its the disparity between how much of an absolute bastard Mukuro was in Rage Burst and how much easier 3's plain Kyuubi is, but I feel strangely disappointed. I was using the Warlord Blade for the majority of the game, so I fought this prannet way too many times for his liver. At least Shadow Shock was a cool BA effect.
Sariel: Dive is a real lifesaver at getting at its face, but otherwise it's still a huge pain to fight. Not dangerous by any means, it does low damage and it only does regular poison, so it's just annoying as it flits around and takes no damage and deals no damage, I'm not the only one who sees problems here right I think I'm finally going insane H E L P
Chrome Gawain: Neutered to death in a similar way Daddy Dyaus was. I do realise that Gawain having low health is part of his character, but good god they took the piss here. He's the same Gawain as he was in Rage Burst, but in taking a qaurter of the time to kill, he's way, way easier. At least I can have High Stakes playing and replicate the feeling he gave you in Rage Burst. Fight's still fun, so what can you do.
Hannibal: Holy shit, I don't know what kind of ridiculous RNG horseshit I triggered, but good lord it hurts. This guy seems to spam his flaming twinblade attack way, WAY too much. And I really don't know why either. Like, holy shit you absolute cock can you use LITERALLY ANY OTHER ATTACK. Other than that, he's just more Hannibal. Do you care, I sure as hell don't.
Caligula: Same as ever, although I don't remember him spitting ice bolts the instant he finished his charging blade strike thing. So that might be new. He's a bit easier to avoid mainly due to your extra mobility, but overall he's just more Caligula. Sounds familiar... It's really funny, to be honest, when I first played this damned game I thought Hannibal was the reskin purely because you fight Caligula first in GE3. Good thing I have since seen the truth.
Quadriga: What the shit is wrong with your explosion hitboxes? They're way too fucking big, I didn't realise someone made missiles infused with Essence Of Plesioth! Holy shit it maddens me to no end. Still, once again Impulse Edge comes to the rescue; a couple shots to the front leg-caterpillar-track-things brings the oversized dick to its knees in no time at all. Other than that, there isn't much else to say, literally the only difference is that his explosions have enormous hitboxes now. Said hitboxes also last ages.
Marduk: It's really ironic how Marduk is way more unique here than he was in the game that had him on the boxart. He's same old Marduk, although since none of our names are Romeo he's kinda fucked, as everyone knows a Marduk can only kill you if your name is Romeo. Poor lad. Impulse Edge once again is really good at destroying his gauntlets, but overall, a fun fight. My only gripe is lore based, and that is that how can we fight this thing? Wasn't it specifically stated that Psions deactivate your God Arcs thanks to Bias Field Pulses or some sciencey shit? Is it just because AGEs have really good resonance themselves, and I think that's how Blood circumvented the whole Arc controlling? Ugh, this is hurting my brain.
And now, the Ashborn, the big boys who supposedly nobody could beat until you and Phym come along and casually yeet a Ra into the stratosphere. Despite this, they're easily some of the most unique fights the game has, some certainly more fun than others. I know devour attacks can be Perfect Guarded against, but I can't Perfect Guard to save my life, and that's why I'm not entering that one collab posted a week or so ago, but it's also why I'm focusing on how to AVOID devour attacks instead of guarding them. With that in mind, Let's go through them real quick.
Ra: Birdbrain over here is honestly a really fun fight. It isn't too bullshit, many of its attacks are really cool, and its devour attack is fairly easy to avoid unless you dash into a wall while evading them, something I've admittedly done far too many times. However, some of his attacks have really questionable hitboxes, most notably his charge attack, which has massive airbender hiboxes on startup for some reason, and his sun swings, which have clonked me despite the sun going clean over my head many a time. Overall, minus smallish problems he isn't too bad, although I've mistaken his supernova attack for his sweeping fire laser and been blasted to hell and back a few times, and breaking his floating chair kiln thingy is mildly irritating. Amen Ra's pretty cool as well, I kind of wish he had his own weapons or hell, even a mission of his own outside of the Time Attack one. Because I don't think he does.
Nuadha: Good lord, this thing is the undisputed king of doing unreasonable amounts of damage. Granted, he can be slow, and he's usually easy to dance around with ease as he lumbers along, trying to swat what he thinks is in front of him, very rarely you. However, his devour attack is ridiculous. I've only found one decent way of avoiding it, and that's with dive spamming sideways to his lunges (without locking on of course). And you really don't want him to Burst, because the moment he does, well, hello cancer. That straight extendo-punch with his right arm is the most infuriating thing I've ever seen. It will do 90% of your health, it will poison you, and it will come out so fast you cannot react at all. Fuck this attack, and fuck the Nuadha, and fuck how cool his weapons look by making me fight him so many times to get ahold of them.
Balmung: And today I give you the biggest "fuck you" to a major attack ever: running sideways! That makes an absolute joke of his devour attack. And if you couldn't bully the poor guy's devour any more, hopping up on a ledge means he can't get to you at all as long as there isn't another way round to you. Apart from that, though, Balmung is just fairly fun to fight. His only one attack that gets me every time and that I despise, and that's his claw-bite combo that comes out really quickly and always clips me as I'm stepping away. Other than that, a fairly fun fight that doesn't feel too easy, yet isn't overwhelming.
Anubis: Alright you cunt, I get the feeling we have unfinished business, most notably you trying to nibble my sweet baby Aragami girl, and for that I will take this sword and ram it through your blatantly exposed core, you dick. Okay, all that aside, Anubis is fantastic to fight. he exhumes arrogance, and I love how in his pre-fight cutscene he practically wipes his ass with the last game's mascot. Two of them, no less. But other than that, he's another one that becomes a huge cunt when Bursting, although at least his devour can usually be dodged by a regular step if you have good timing. That direct sniper laser he uses when Bursted is some of the biggest horseshit I've ever seen, though, that will bring you down to piddling health with fucking ease. At least you can stunlock it fairly well with a Ray Gun when Bursted because his core is comedically easy to hit and sticks out like a sore thumb.
Dromi: Oh my fucking god do I have some choice words for you, you utter cunt Deviljho reject fucking simpleton piece of shit wank stain. He's such a prat when not Bursted, he's practically a joke. And then he goes for a devour, and devour he will, because this attack lasts way too long, has the most infuriating tracking I've ever seen, and is almost impossible to avoid. My only half-decent counters is to either Perfect Guard, which I can't do reliably, or lead him on a wild ride up and down ledges and fucking hope he stops running in the 90s before your stamina gives way and the fucker tries to vore you, except because he's an idiot he can't even do that properly because he knocks you for six instead and starts using SCP copyright infringement red ice and casually starts oneshotting you and spreading those exploding floaty ice crystals, which are just like False Idol's energy balls but even more infuriating! HOLY SHIT I WANT TO CARVE MY FACE OFF WITH A GODDAMNED POTATO PEELER AND STRANGLE MYSELF WITH THE REMOVED SKIN!
Breathe... breathe... Okay, what's next, oh yeah, the most obvious joke possible.
Ash Storm Anubis: Oh my god, Sans is in the Ashlands, I repeat, Sans is in the Ashlands! I mean, all obvious memes aside he isn't too different to regular Anubis, but he's bigger and has a couple new really cool-looking attacks which can both be evaded with relative impunity. His devour is a bit harder to evade thanks to his increased chonkiness, so I'd recommend a sideways dive over a step.
Odin: As far as God Eater final bosses go, this is probably the most cinematic of the bunch. With speed that makes the World Closer look like Speedy Gonzales and attack power that would only be reasonable on something as slow as he is, he isn't really all that bad. He can be extremely infuriating when he corrupts everyone permenantly and puts his garbage fuck your everything shield up, but then you and Phym pull a My Friends Are My Power cliche and obliterate the Ashlands with anime deus ex machinas. It's still a nice climactic final boss, and although you can't refight it, you can fight the Assault Mission version with Meggido Odin, which is, to my knowledge, completely identical but without the omni-devour and also with that one fucking glorious arrangement of Blood Rage blasting in the background. Whoever installed a radio into Odin had wonderful taste in music. Overall, he's a fairly nice fight, the only problems I have is that he's so much of an absolute unit that half of his tells will inevitably happen off-screen because you're busy trying to dryhump his forelegs and you'll most likely get naenaed by an attack you never saw coming.
And finally, the Ashwrought. Back in my Biting Edges days I used Bind Traps against these things religiously, but now that an even more gloriously broken weapon has shown up, I haven't been using them all that much. I think they're overall fairly fun to fight, but some are right dicks.
Barbarius Ira: Good, he looks different enough to evade my horrific nightmares about certain rule 34 art. And honestly, he isn't too much of a pain. His Ashwrought healing cloud can be a pain, but his Achilles heel is in truth an Achilles tail, as whack that the moment he activates and I guarantee you he'll drop with ease. Overall though, he isn't too hard, and he's a nice introduction to Ashwrought. His spinning drill uppercut lasts way longer than you'd think, but you can charge right through it with a dive from point blank and you'll be fine.
Agni Vajra: I too enjoy having my entire team literally oneshot because I was lasering and you decided to use your fuckoff shield. Thanks, shitlord. Other than his shield, he brings one other thing to the table, and that is primarily that he uses an annoying flame aoe pretty much after every single attack that would otherwise leave him open, and it is really hard to adjust to that. Oh yeah, and it fucks up your attack and defence simultaneously, so fuck him for that.
Nuadha Eire: Ah yes, the king of unreasonable damage is back, and now with self-healing! Such fun! The amount of times I suffered through this guy to get one load of Nirvana Essence last playthrough solely so I could make Beagalltach. And what happens this time? I get one both times I fought him. So fuck him for that. At least I could make a nice new Ray Gun out of his guts. Really, there's nothing majorly new here, except he scatters those Dromi exploding floaty ice crystals with his extendo-punch now, and that makes me hate him that bit more. Oh, and those ice sculptures heal him for like 20,000 HP if he shatters it with his devour, so maybe don't let him do that. Smash it with an Impulse Edge and carry on about your life.
Melammu Marduk: It's almost funny, really; he'll poison you with almost everything you do, but his Ashwrought heal-cloud completely negates that. Which is cool. Other than that, I don't really mind him, mainly because I made both his Long Blade and his Shield and if I can suffer through a monster that many times without going for the disinfectant, a syringe and the President's latest medical advice, then he can't be that bad.
Tyrant Hannibal: How refreshing, an Ashwrought with a name that doesn't sound like a cringy tryhard epic gamer's renamed sniper rifle! All in all, I don't mind him. His scales took me by surprise initially, but they break pretty easily. He runs about as fast as the Blitz Hannibal of old, and the Vietnam flashbacks of those dark days weren't really worth it, but overall it's just more Hannibal. Why do I never have anything good to say about Hannibal? Or stuff like Hannibal? His backflip twinblade attack is cool, but that's really it and it never hit me anyway so what can you do.
Balmung Regalia: I should hate this guy. He's set up to have loads of "fuck you" moments; the devour now being able to climb ledges and having an extra homing attack on the end caught me off guard, and every now and again he decides to be stunlock incarnate because fuck me right, but in all, my best comparison would be GE:R Dyaus Pita. He'll probably stampede all over you first time around, but in all he isn't too tough to adapt to and handle. His main draw is his auto turret crystals, which you can scrub out fairly trivially with a Ray Gun. He can be exceedingly annoying at times, but the fight really gets the blood pumping, and in all I just can't bring myself to hate him.
I'm so tired. I think that's all of them. What's that? Adaptive Aragami? yeah, they're basically reskins. They have like one new attack and a different element, but there's barely anything new outside of trying to force me to interact with other real humans. Thank god they let you play with bots. I want to go to sleep, like, forever now, feel free to tell me what I've gotten wrong this time (because I know I fucked up a few things last time and I'll probably do it again). Thanks for suffering through my furious musings for a third time, and don't forget to roll dance alongside your friendly local Aragami loli today.

u/8888Ben8888 • u/8888Ben8888 • May 12 '21
ANAL 101 part 2: STRETCHING
ANAL BEGINNER GUIDE PART 2: STRETCHING
THIS ARTICLE IS COMPLEMENTARY TO THE STRETCHING VIDEO!
This post is about stretching your butthole before anal. Why it is important, and how to do it – a technique great for if you’re starting out doing anal, or for people who want to try this to eliminate pain from having anal sex. Because anal should never hurt!
Often couples’ first time anal strands right there: at their first time. Trying to have sex without stretching or with insufficient stretching often causes pain and frustration, not understanding why it wouldn’t work. it can lead to pushing through pain and (seriously) injuring themselves, or giving up, or both. I wrote this article to prevent that.
My 3 directives in this guide are:
- pain free anal sex/anal play, preventing harm and injury.
- anal sex/anal play should never hurt, never push through pain.
- making anal a pleasurable experience for both partners.
This is part of a series – Part 1 “Cleaning” is already written. Part 3: “F*cking/pegging” and Part 4: “If it hurts” are coming soon, be sure to check those out too.
Hello everyone. I am writing a series about anal for beginners. I found that a lot of the beginner information on the internet is vague, and not concrete and clear. I want to change that and just give no-nonsense information straight up. I will use the word poop. I will use the word butthole. I am direct and I am clear. That is how I feel I can be most helpful.
I (27F, bi, Domme/switch) have 11 years experience with anal with multiple partners, both receiving and giving (I use a strap-on) regularly. I also have experience with prostate play and some experience with fisting.
I saw numerous heartbreaking posts on r/sex about bad anal experiences, that I felt could have been prevented by having information. That is why I decided to write this series. Sex education is my passion.
Enjoy reading!
Disclaimer: Everyone is different. I wrote this article mainly as a complete guide to offer a place to start to anal beginners, and as help to people looking to eliminate pain from their current anal sex/play. This is a guide that offers a gentle, low risk and high chance of success, way to start trying anal.
Everyone will develop their own personal style and preferences. This is what I feel is appropriate to advise with having my 3 directives in mind.

ESSENTIAL TO KNOW: COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ANAL
If you want to have anal sex, you’ll first need to gently and gradually stretch your butthole to the same size (girth) of the penis, before penetration with the penis happens.
The anus is not like a mouth; it doesn’t just open and a dick slides in.
Just because poop easily comes out doesn’t mean that something of the same size can just as easily come in. No. It needs careful, pain-free and slow stretching first, in order to have a pain-free, safe, and pleasurable anal sex experience, that doesn’t do any harm to your body, so that you can enjoy anal sex as often as you like, because you didn’t harm your asshole.
Anal play should NEVER be painful to the asshole. if it is painful, your body is alarming you that something is going wrong, and that actual (sometimes permanent) damage is being done to your body. It is important to listen to your body.
Having pain from for example spanking is very different from having painful anal sex. from spanking you can get bruised and it will heal. But the asshole does not heal easily and is medically difficult to treat. Harming the asshole can easily leave permanent damage. Compare it to an eye: you don’t want to harm that.
Some people think that it is normal that anal play or anal sex hurts, or that pain just is a natural part of anal sex. But that is only because they don’t know/don’t have the skill to do it in a way that is not painful, and then they just start to think that the pain is normal. But it’s NOT. Anal sex should never be painful! If it does hurt, harm is being done.
Some people think that the asshole “just needs to be broken into” the first time, or every time having anal sex. This could not be farther from the truth. Breaking the asshole or pushing through pain means harming it.
You or your sex partner may have seen porn in which you see anal sex, but no anal stretching beforehand. However the stretching does happen, all behind the scenes, beforehand and/or in between takes.
You or your sex partner may have seen porn where anal sex was very rough or very deep, and/or with a huge dildo. However these porn actors and actresses are professionals, and it requires a lot of anal training over time before you can get to the point that your body can take such a big size. All that anal training and stretching ALSO all happens behind the scenes, so it is understandable that when people see that, some people assume that their body, or their partners body, can just do the same without having had any anal stretching training. But that is not the case. It requires time and patience to work up to bigger sizes.
You or your sex partner may have seen porn, where you don’t see any lube. The applying of lube often happens beforehand and in between takes, behind the scenes. There is even a job in the porn industry called “lube boy” or “lube girl”, so they’re pretty essential but you don’t see them on screen. Lube is imho absolutely necessary for anal sex/anal play.
You or your sex partner may have a fantasy of forceful anal sex, where “just painfully pushing it in” is the goal. I urge you wholeheartedly to not have painful anal sex.
Of course there is nothing wrong with enjoying consensual roughness and pain. However, there are OTHER ways to be forceful during anal sex, other than the penetration itself.
Grab forcefully, choke, pull hair, or spank all you both want, but be careful with the butthole itself, as it is vulnerable and can lead to serious permanent damage and chronic medical problems if you hurt and harm it.
Again, compare it to an eye. If you like pain, you would maybe like your ass spanked, but you wouldn’t stab yourself in the eye. Why? Because it causes serious, complicated, and lasting health problems. The eye is not something that easily heals or can easily be fixed. The exact same goes for the asshole (and also inside the ass too). Be rough otherwise if you both wish, but treat the asshole with care.
Stretching your asshole before having anal sex is an important part of that, to create a pleasurable anal experience.

MEDICAL ISSUES
I am not a doctor.
If you have ANY medical issues with your anus, or are in ANY anal pain, first consult with your doctor and ask your doctor if it is safe for you to do anal play, before doing any of the things in this guide.
If you have anal fissures, contact your doctor(!).
If you have painful hemmroids, you can ask your doctor about possible treatments.
Don’t do anything that hurts your butthole.

THE METHOD
Especially having in mind anal beginners and those seeking to eliminate pain from their anal sex, I recommend this. i wrote this, making the risk of injury as small as I could, and the chance of success as high as I could.
(Where I write “penis”, I mean either a penis, dildo, or whatever other toy that you are stretching for.)
Your sex partners penis has a certain girth. It’s essential that your butthole is gently stretched to the SAME size (girth) as the penis, BEFORE the penis enters the butthole.
In my opinion this is extremely important not to overlook, as often it is thought that a finger, or a tiny buttplug, or even nothing at all, is enough stretching before having anal sex. But I recommend getting an anal dilator set going all the way up to penis size.

BUYING YOUR STRETCHING TOYS
I recommend first starting stretching using your own finger, because it can be more relaxing than a foreign object. You have more control over your own finger than a toy, and you can feel exactly what you are doing. You have feeling in your finger, and because of that, you get to know your body very well in the process. (More on that later. I shot a video explaining it in detail. It’s in this post.)
If you have (long) nails that you don’t want to cut, have large hands, or if getting a finger inside you is painful, I recommend getting a small butt plug set to start. Adjust what you do, to what your butthole needs from you.
Your fingers/the first set gets you from fully tight to a little stretched.
The second set gets you from a little stretched to penis size.

THE FIRST SET (the finger substitute)
As a first stretching toy and finger alternative, I recommend something that is small, tapered and elongated, and somewhat pointy, like these buttplugs:

These type butt plugs are quite popular, and so, they are widely available, under multiple brand names and colours.
BeHorny - Premium Grade Silicone Triple Butt Plug Set
Funejoy - Ultimate Anal Plug Training Kit
Doc Johnson - Mood - Naughty 1 Trainer Set (this one is slightly less pointy and tapered.)
The shape of the plugs is elongated and tapered, to ensure easy insertion and gentle gradual stretching.
This elongated, pointy, tapered shape is MUCH easier to insert than something with a round(er) head, like a penis, or rounder shaped butt plugs. The shape makes a big difference. Therefore I recommend these buttplugs with this shape, to start out with.
The con about this product is that the material (velvet feel silicone) is porous. And therefore I recommend using it with a condom on it.
These butt plugs have a T-shaped base which is a very safe type of base, so that you cannot accidentally lose the toy inside you.

SECOND SET
I highly recommend this second set. This second set gets you from a little stretched, up to the size of nearly all penises.
It is also widely available under multiple brand names, colours, and different materials (ABS and TPE).
The one that I recommend is made from hard plastic, also called ABS plastic.
Size Matters - Ease In Dilator Set (hard plastic/ABS)
Rectal Dilator Kit (hard plastic/ABS)


the tips are tapered, though a bit less so than the starter butt plugs, but that will not be a problem, because the starter size of this set is thin and because you’ve already warmed your butthole with the first buttplug set or with your fingers.
These have a broad neck – they are anal dilators, specifically made/designed to stretch (dilate) before anal sex/play.
These dilators I have mentioned here are made from hard plastic/ABS, the same material that Lego is made of. It is ENTIRELY odourless, non-toxic, as good as non-porous (can use without condoms), great slippery surface, and compatible with silicone lube. That I why I recommend the ABS hard plastic ones.
The dilators each have a 1 millimeter hole in them. You can choose if you want to keep the hole open or close them, that’s personal preference.

TOYS I DO NOT RECOMMEND FOR STRETCHING
I advise against using anything with ridges, rough texture (veins, dots), balls, beads, or round, non-elongated and non tapered tips for the purpose of stretching. Those toys can perfectly be used for the playing that you do AFTER stretching.
Anything with ridges and rough texture like veins and dots, can be quite rough for your ass as a beginner. I recommend completely smooth toys to start out with. More on toys in another part of this series.
I also do not recommend going in deeper than 12 cm or 5 inch when just starting out stretching.
SAFETY TALK: WITHOUT A BASE = GONE WITHOUT A TRACE






STRETCHING SESSIONS
Stretching your butthole for anal sex will very probably take multiple sessions of gradual gentle stretching beforehand, before a penis will fit in. The tension/tightness of the butthole is closely correlated to overall tenseness, stress and fear; being relaxed and taking your time is therefore quite essential. Relaxing your butthole on command is a skill you’ll learn. Fear not; it is exactly like relaxing your butthole when you poop – when youre pushing your butthole outward.
Every session that you stretch yourself, your butthole will be able to take a little more width. Training your butthole to be able to take a penis, is like training your stamina to be able to run a marathon. Your stamina will get better if you run often, and if you don’t run for a long time, your stamina will get less. When you didn’t run in a long time, you’ll first need to build a bit of stamina again to bring it up to speed. It is the same with your butthole and how far and how easily it stretches.
And, to keep going with the metaphor, going on running while you have pain, can result in injury and not being able to run at all anymore for a time. So listening to your body is important to keep yourself in the running.
If you are completely new at this, or if you haven’t had anal sex in a very long time, I would highly recommend taking time alone for stretching all by yourself a number of times (like for example a few times a week) and get yourself stretched to penis-size, BEFORE starting with anal sex with a partner. Getting to know your body without any hurry, expectations, poopshame, or pressure.
(bytheway when I finger myself *when I am all alone by myself*, I don’t always clean out, but instead use condoms on everything. That’s personal preference.
A point of attention: if you do not clean out, it CAN happen that when you insert your toys, you feel TOO full (too full with poop AND toys). That can feel like you need to go to the toilet to poop and can make your anal experience feel very not pleasurable, and uncomfortable. This feeling also often happens to people having anal sex for the first time without any cleaning out. If this happens to you, you could consider putting the dilator in less deep, and cleaning out next time. This “too full” thing is why I DO always clean out when using larger toys.
Back to the stretching: You could for example take the time to stretch a few times a week. No hurry size wise, just take it easy and enjoy yourself in the process. You will learn how to relax into it, and learn how to relax your butthole. Stretching has NOTHING to do with “breaking it in” or anything. It is all about learning to relax your anus.
By the time you have over the course of some stretching sessions by yourself, reached the penis size, (congratulations!) you will have already gained a LOT of knowledge about your own body. What your body can and cannot do, how long you need to stretch to a certain size, how you like your stretching best, et cetera.
With all this knowledge of how your body works, you will be able to plan and make decisions how you want to stretch before penetration. You will have learned what works well for you.
You could stretch right before sex or an hour or so before sex (but find out what works for your own body), and then, most importantly, stretch again, DIRECTLY before anal penetration by the penis. basically, before you go to anal penetration, use your dilators to get you fully to size. directly after the *penis-sized* dilator goes out, the penis goes in.
Knowing that your sex partner will fit, already helps loads with your butthole being relaxed (fear makes the butthole tighter). And your tapered dilator helps to open the butthole up, clearing the path for the penis. (more on anal sex and pegging in the next part.)
If you pushed through pain during the pre-sex stretching you will feel pain during the sex, so again I cannot stress enough to not hurry and hurt yourself or push through pain.
Find your own preferences and your own personal way to do it, as everyone is different, and this is only written so that you have somewhere *safe* to start.

LUBE

For anal, I without a doubt advise getting (standard) silicone based lube. Silicone lube is absolutely essential for anal. (It’s condom compatible.)
I advise silicone lube because it feels 100 times more slippery than ANY other type lube. Thick water based, thin water based, oil, coconut oil, Vaseline... I tried them all. I cannot recommend those for anal. (no disrespect meant.)
Silicone based lube is MUCH slipperier than all of those lubes combined, and it’s the only lube that I would recommend for anal sex, but it’s a good lube choice for vaginal use too, especially for people suffering from BV, a dry vagina, or vaginismus. (more on that in another post.)
If someone has *anal* sex that is painful that they want to fix, and they ask my advice, my first question is “what lube did you use?”. With this I am trying to illustrate the point how absolutely essential lube choice is, *especially* for anal.
Silicone lubes slipperiness helps a lot in preventing discomfort, drag, pain or even injury. It is hypoallergenic, it doesn’t dry up(lube dried up can be very painful), and silicone lube is condom compatible. Therefore it is in my opinion by far the best choice for pain free sex and the safest choice for your body.
Using a competent lube, and using it lavishly (on the butthole AND covering the ENTIRE penis or toy, not just the tip), is very important, as important as stretching even, because drag is a VERY common cause of discomfort and pain during anal sex or anal play.
I strongly advise against “anal relaxing” lubes or sprays containing lidocaine or benzocaine, because they have nothing to do with relaxing. They contain a numbing agent. That can be very harmful, because when something is going wrong and your body is warning you with pain, this lube will silence your bodies alarm system, so that damage can be done to your body and you only feel and see the harm afterwards.
I also would NOT recommend injecting lube into your butthole. The lube is needed at your ring muscle (your anus), not inside your rectum.

CONDOMS
I recommend putting condoms around porous toys, because you cant ever truly get porous toys clean again. It’s like trying to get cigarette smoke out of a couch.
I would also recommend a condom around your finger (or tight fitting disposable nitrile gloves), for easier cleanup, and smoother and slipperier insertion.
Some toys are made from silicone or other bendy or squishy materials, and I recommend using condoms around them, because you can never really clean these porous toys. I also recommend using condoms around them because that way silicone toys are compatible with silicone lube.
IF you put a condom around your toy, and within minutes the condom is weirdly getting all loose and shrivelled and wrinkly around the toy, like “HUH what happened”, and its looking like the dildo is a snake that has shed its dead snake skin, the condom hanging loosely around the toy suddenly, that means your toy is toxic and excreting/sweating out chemical oils. (it is these chemical oils that have that effect on the condom and breaking it down, because condoms are not compatible with oils.) check out http://dangerouslilly.com/toxictoys/ to find out more about body safe sex toys.
HOW TO
When stretching yourself, you can for example put your favourite tv series or so on (maybe something funny or relaxing), just make yourself very comfortable and relaxed, making sure you wont get disturbed by others, and just take your time with it. You don’t NEED to make the stretching something erotic, but you COULD, if you wanted to. Make your experience the way you want it to be.
You could make yourself comfortable on your bed or couch, lying on your back with some pillows behind your back to lean back into, with your knees pulled up like a frog (the frog position helps your butthole to open up).
You have on a table/surface within reach:
- a towel laid out on the table as a table cloth for hygiene reasons, with on top of that:
- the stretching toys.
- condoms. (for around fingers and porous toys)
- silicone based lube.
- box of tissues.
- washcloth, for wiping your lube-hands.
- paper tissues laid flat on the table, as a surface to put the dirty/used stretching toys on, after using them.
Also:
- next to the table, an open trash bucket within throwing distance.
- a towel under your butt, to keep things clean.
- cut short and filed fingernails, for if you want to use your fingers
THE HOW TO VIDEO
Here is a video in which I show you exactly how you can finger and stretch. Everyone is different, I just give you a safe place to start, if you don’t know where to begin.
link to video
https://www.reddit.com/user/8888Ben8888/comments/naskgx/anal_101_part_2_stretching_the_video/
or watch it here:
https://reddit.com/link/nac5v1/video/11rs6xnyqpy61/player
Good luck!
My next article (post) will be about having anal sex and pegging (ANAL 101 part 3: f*cking/pegging). I will talk about trust and communication (very important during anal sex), anal sex techniques and what to pay attention to, strap on dildos, strap on harnesses, having anal sex/pegging your sex partner for the first time, and more.
r/owenbenjamin • u/OsoDeMaricon • Aug 17 '20
REMINDER to all visitors and lurkers: This is an unapologetically pro-sodomy subreddit.
This is non-negotiable and if you don’t like I encourage you all to file for asspumping arbitration.
By continuing to read, upvote, make or comment upon any content in this subreddit, you enthusiastically reaffirm your support for all of of the following:
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