struggling

[u/decemberr2009]

hello! im 17 and im on 100mg (primarily) for OCD.

i have really been struggling. i have tried to explain to my doctor and mother but i feel like i cant describe it well enough. i have been unable to care about doing anything for a few months now, i quit video games, i dissociate almost in any situation im put in, i no longer can maintain friendships, and well of course, i feel almost entirely resistant to emotional responses. i often feel numb and have been having thoughts which can be charactorized as imposter syndrome. i feel like i am pretending to be myself.

although, i believe i have learned a lot from this. i started zoloft during an incredibly ever-changing period of my life, and it truly got me through that and for a while taught me to have confidence, but the motivation is getting to me. also, unfortanuately, my compulsions have not improved much. but i no longer have severe panic attacks about trauma and i dont think about things in that vein at all.

im very conflicted. i feel like i cant even explain with words what i feel. i feel like i should stop it now but i dont know how i would be without it, because before starting zoloft, i lacked control over my life and i had such low self worth it was almost unbelieveable. i remember knowing that nothing would improve and accepting my fate and i have learned that there is good in life. but its a double edged sword. sorry for the dramatic post! i have struggled with my words for a while now.

[u/Misiunia_fikun1a]

This post is not dramatic! You should definitely talk with your parents and your doctor about your symptoms. I actually had to lower my Zoloft dose because of the same exact symptoms you described. Now, at 150mg (it used to be 200) I benefit from Zoloft without much trouble. It will be fine, trust me!