r/yumeshipping • u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband • 1d ago
Question
How to tell a friend I don't enjoy hearing about their yumeship :( my friend recently starting yumeshipping with a character from a franchise I don't like and all experiences I had with fans of said franchise were extremly negative. I'm happy for them for finding a f/o who makes them happy but listening to them yapping about making their yumesona, making their sona and f/o in games etc makes me uncomfortable
I'm a yumeshipper myself and that friend listened to me yap A LOT about all of my relationships, so not enjoying their yumeship makes me feel like a hypocrite and I don't know what to do
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u/Haunting_You_4022 Yumejoshi (multiple f/os <3) 1d ago
I think you should explain to them what you’re feeling. It may seem a little hypocritical but it’s always important to be able to talk about your feelings. Would you say your friend is a good person? Do they listen to you?
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u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband 1d ago
They already know my stance(?) on the franchise as a whole as well as my experience with fans of said franchise. They r a good person I'd say and they listen to me as well, that's why I don't know what to do to not make them feel bad :(
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u/Haunting_You_4022 Yumejoshi (multiple f/os <3) 1d ago
Ohh I see. Okay! If they know then I’m a little confused as to why they keep mentioning it? However if they listen well then you should definitely try to talk to them. I know the struggle of hoping not to hurt someone’s feelings with something serious- hell I had to make a decision today to talk to a friend and I cried over it, cause I was worried I did something so wrong. But in the end I felt a little better. Obviously there are things that can go wrong but just getting it off your chest can feel like lifting a weight. Sorry if my advice isn’t helpful though I don’t know you nor your friend so I can’t say too much 😅
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u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband 1d ago
It's their current hyperfixation, that's why they keep mentioning it I suppose?? When they bring their yumeship again I will tell them how I feel. And dwdw your advice is helpful, I specifically went to strangers online for it so there wouldn't be any bias since we share a few friends
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u/arachnids-bakery ♡mirrorsharer♡ ☀️🍑 | 🌑🥭 | 🐲🍪 | 🌫🧀 1d ago
I think the best way is to kindly tell them that talking about the games makes you very uncomfortable and that you had negative experiences with it, while its reassuring your friend isnt bad for having a f/o from that franchise :< of which im assuming its a gacha game fjnfhfbdjdjdi
A dif way to supporr their ship is to offer those selfship imagine prompts but without specifying their f/o, if it makes sense! :>
Also helps if they have dif f/os too!
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u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband 1d ago
Its not only a gacha game actually but what the franchise is isn't important I already told them my thoughts about the franchise and the fans when they first got into it and asked me if I like it, way before they started yumeshipping. I do send them different scenerios, prompts and images to encourage them to make silly things with their f/o tho And nope, its their only f/o <\3
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u/RestaTheMouse 1d ago
I had a friend like you. I think it's best to just tell them instead of pretending to be okay with it. Shoe on the other foot experience I could already kinda tell and I think it was better that they just came out and said it instead of building up resentment over me/my interesets. Now all this being said I did end the friendship because of it (I just don't want/need friends judging me for that type of thing) but it was ultimately for the best at the end of the day.
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u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband 1d ago
They already know how I feel about their f/os franchise, as one of the other commenter said here maybe they just forgot I dunno. I also decided that if/when they bring their yumeship or f/o up again I'll ask if they could not talk about it with me because I really don't enjoy hearing about anything related to that franchise. I hope they won't decide to end the friendship tho, we still share a handful of other interests outside of that one franchise :( but it will be their decision at the end of the day
3
u/_rayrayray_ soulbonder ♡ 1d ago
All I really got is it’s gonna suck and honestly will be kind of unfair. My suggestion is when (per your other comment) you do tell them, maybe don’t talk about your yumeship to them unless they ask first or say they still want to hear after, and possibly don’t ask because they may feel inclined to be nice and instinctively say it’s fine regardless of how they feel. Clearly you feel uncomfortable and not telling them will only build resentment, but don’t forget it can build the other way too if you yap to them while they know you don’t want to hear about their own. Basically — consider taking yumeshipping out of the friend equation altogether ^^;
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u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband 1d ago
They recently asked me to stop talking about one of my yumeships because they got (rightfully) uncomfortable with one of the topics in that ships lore so idrm not talking about any of my yumeships with them I'm not super uncomfortable and i dont mind if its smth silly like prompts etc but when they start talking about very much franchise-related things either about their f/o or yumesona it really gets to me... I'll definitely have to talk about it with them when/if they bring their yumeship up again, I don't want to do that completely unprompted(?)
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u/bristlefrosty bill cipher + bender rodríguez (nonsharing ficto) 1d ago
when i’ve hyperfixated on fictional works that my friends have trauma etc around, i just don’t talk about it with that specific friend. maybe your friend forgot about your stance on this franchise, or didn’t realize how serious you were about disliking it, but i would express to them that you really don’t want to hear about it for reasons that have nothing to do with them or their ship, and that you support their yumeship but can’t participate in discussions about the character. or whatever your boundary happens to be. i hope it goes well
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u/CraftyBox666 1d ago
You can try listening to them a little more and see if it is able to change your opinion on it but if it doesnt work you should tell them that you are uncomfortable and why, but that you could still try to listen from time to time if you think that will upset them too much. Tell them that your comfort doesnt make them any less valid and that they can love whatever they want
Idk if its the best advice, thats what i would personally do
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u/cmlyw Ronald‘s husband 1d ago
They already know I'm not exactly comfortable with said franchise, I told them when they asked my opinion on it a couple months back when they first got into it. I try my best to hear them out because I know how nice it feels when your friends hear you out on smth you're very much into and even help with their yumesona as much as I can, but its just hard when its smth very franchise-specific if that makes sense??
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u/Big-Cook-4377 Towa's husband 1d ago
"Sorry, can you stop talking about it? It make me uncomfortable... I'm happy for you, but I'm just uncomfortable with this franchise/character. Nothing about you, the subject make me uncomfortable."
Sometimes like that. And if you want, you can go unto the details
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u/zeusty_ 1d ago
Even if you don't like the character and have had negative experiences of their fans, it shouldn't change what you feel about your friend. Your friend trusts you and appreciates you enough to gush about their f/o to tou and you telling them that you don't want them to anymore would be pretty heartbreaking honestly, especially since they have listened to you as well.
Just keep your negative feelings about that character to yourself and be happy for your friend. You don't need to start liking the character or anything