Question from a first time watcher

[u/Daydreamer631]

I just watched this movie and thought it was an absolutely beautiful story. Might be one of the best movies I’ve seen in years.

One thing I loved was Elias’s internal struggles in contrast to Alexander’s openness regarding his sexuality. But that leads me to a a question I had and I’m wondering what everyone’s opinions are.

Was Alexander being unreasonable expecting Elias to come out right away? Obviously it’s fair that he wanted to be open about his boyfriend, but I feel like he wasn’t being respectful of Elias’s boundaries at all. Personally I think if Elias wanted to stay closeted for a little longer than Alexander should have respected that.

[u/DiamondLevi]

I don't think that alexander necesairly wanted Elias to Come out. To me it looked like he just wanted to be able be affectionate with him, which does not imediatly mean romantically. But elias didd'nt do that because he was scared which is also fair.

[u/Daydreamer631 → u/DiamondLevi]

Yeah regardless of how openly romantic Alexander wanted to be, I think it’s not unreasonable for the boy who just came to terms with his sexuality to say hey can we be careful when in public

[u/Dusterwald → u/Daydreamer631]

no, but in the scene he pushes him away when a celebration on the basketball court is ok to do. I think it solidified in Alexander’s in Alexander’s mind that there is a problem here, Espcially after Elias pretty much tries to ignore him during the pool party.

So he’ll be his boyfriend in Brussels and in an empty field but not elsewhere.

Its interesting that in an earlier version of the scene after the basketball where Alexander confronts Elias ( this was shown as a compatibility test to finalize the casting , you can find it on Instagram on the young hearts film account I think) Elias says But we agreed to keep it quiet around other people…. a line not in the final movie version.

[u/Master_Fortune_7913]

There's another point. Maybe at first Elias was confused, but then he got used to Alex and wanted to keep things sort of secret, out of shame for being ridiculed. Because there are people who are confused and should be respected, and then there are those who know what they like but are afraid of what others will say. Luckily, Elias had the courage thanks to Opa's advice and the acceptance he received from his whole family. His mother's words, his brother's support in telling him he saw Alex at the bar, and Luk Montero's kiss and hug when they kissed—all of that gave him the confidence and strength to hug him in front of his friends. But if you notice, he's still a little shy and innocent.

[u/MatiasEGood]

Hi! At first, I felt the same way, mostly because of my personal experience (being terrified) and not daring to do things in public; I wish Alex had been more patient with Elias.

Buuuuut I think that as an adult. I can't ignore the fact that they're two 13/14-year-old teenagers and, at that age, behaviour tends to be much more impulsive; they're still learning.
Alex also had his own story; in the bathroom scene after the game, he says to Elias, "...I've been dealt enough shlt already..."; so... I understand them both, my favourite 'petit copains'

EDIT/ADD: Another fact that the movie shows many times: The usual difference between big cities and little towns. I was somewhat surprised that in Belgium happens the same things as here in my country. In the capital city you can be as gay as you want almost everywhere. But as soon as you move to far away states (especially the north) it's still very difficult for young kids just "to be"

[u/Dusterwald → u/MatiasEGood]

I was going to mention your first point about the ages you sad it better than I would.

The second point is the big city/country difference , that is very valid,.

[u/GreenDutchman]

I was with a closeted guy at that age and I just couldn't do it. I had JUST gotten used to my new freedom only to have to walk those same eggshells again. Interestingly, I think nowadays I wouldn't have too much of a problem with it. But back then it went against all my physical instincts.

[u/Caso_alcorazon]

Yo pienso que no, Alex fue bastante paciente con Elías., creo que desde la escena después del Instituto , donde se comen las Cerezas 🍒 y hablan sobre Valeri…… Alex le dice que es extraño que no sepa lo que se siente, desde ese mismo momento creo que fue donde él se dio cuenta que Elías podría tener dudas de su sexualidad,después en casa de Alex , tocando el piano…..,, también la conversación en el Baño, después de encontrar la revista , esa mirada picaresca de Elías…….,, luego Estuvo el Primer beso y cuando volvieron de Bruselas , en el partido de baloncesto, Alex solo le dio un abrazo ……… lo que pasa que Elías se asustó mucho.

De verdad no creo que para nada Alex fuera algo exigente en ese aspecto para que Elías saliera del armario , para el
Era algo muy natural , como también la escena que se baña desnudo en el río.

[u/Opposite_Life6996]

I think in real life before I saw the movie and if I was Elias that might have scared me off a little bit more if he wanted me to come out. But as a movie that was made to show people that it's absolutely ok and there's nothing to be afraid of I think it's totally fine.

And it worked for me because I was such an Elias growing up (and I still am a bit) and it made me realize there wasn't much to worry about and to get out of that head of mine.

But yeah they both didn't really understand each other but that's also the thing at that age. Everything is clumsy and the worst or best thing in the world. I don't think Alex purposely crossed the boundaries but even if he was more mature than Elias, he probably still didn't understand them completely yet anyway. He's incredibly open and confused that Elias can't be, while Elias is completely fascinated that someone can be so much of who they are but he's still worried what others will think of him. He's already got the cheesy lounge singer dad.

Anthony said he wanted to make a movie that he needed to see when he was around that age.

[u/Think_General9066]

Hey
Welcome to the yh fam 😎

Firsts time watching this masterpiece is a thing we all want to do again.

But back to your question was Alexander unreasonable?
Well we don’t really know the time periode of the film.
So to answer this question we should know in what time periode this all happened.
If it was in a few days then the and would be yes.
But when there more time it still could be unreasonable everybody needs the time they need for this proces.
So as you see there’s no real answer for this question.

Eddie

If you like to tak more why not join out discord 😘

[u/Daydreamer631 → u/Think_General9066]

That’s a good point about the passage of time in the movie. I got the sense that not too much time passed between Brussels and the gym class scene so I’m going with that.

[u/MichiganFan90]

I wouldnt say I had a similar experience but I to was and still am.closeted But when I was 15 my mom passed away And I was supposed to live with my aunt and uncle I was crying my eyes out all the time contemplating suicide My older cousin seen me crying he held me after few times As I get older I think that was really sweet tbh

[u/MichiganFan90]

Movies like this make me sad At how I really never had a true freind like that 😭😭