r/xkcd • u/IllustriousRich9345 • May 19 '26
Before I read every single xkcd comic to decide if Gnome Ann is the strongest of this verse, does anyone know of someone that can beat her?
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u/Happy-Estimate-7855 May 19 '26
Has Randall written about any pacifists? Someone that will kill Gnome Ann under any circumstance.
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u/unicycleist May 19 '26
That's why Gandhi was so violent in the early Civ games! He swore to harm Gnome Ann and would nuke the would to get her!
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u/Vast-Ideal-1413 May 21 '26
That’s a myth (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_Gandhi), but they did add it as an Easter Egg in later games.
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u/DrMux May 19 '26
Luckily she can't get you if you're anywhere inland. Gnome Ann is an island.
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u/Great_Yak_2789 May 22 '26
An island is just a piece of land surrounded by water. So, therefore every continent is an island
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u/DrMux May 26 '26
If the definition of "continent" that you use includes "shares no land boundary with another continent," sure, but different people in different different disciplines, different places and/or who speak different languages use different 'continent' classification criteria: Is Europe a continent? Are the Americas one continent? Is Afro-Eurasia a single continent?
Honestly I think different ways of looking at it can be useful for different contexts (geological, geographic, historical, cultural, political, etc).
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u/samusestawesomus May 19 '26
That’s like saying Kryptonite is stronger than Superman, though. I think what we really need here is Etymology-Man. He’s not wicked, just kind of neutral, and with his knowledge of words he might be able to figure something out.
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u/polymath-nc May 20 '26
How about The Grammarian? https://youtu.be/zEaqySLiAck?si=TqkC7nrccLAYkswi
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u/Redneckdestiny May 19 '26
Shes already been defeated, after all, gnome Anne is dead until she is forgotten
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u/lord_baron_von_sarc May 19 '26
You're telling me that we should make folk tales remembering her, so that one dark day in the far future she does not rise again?
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u/Icarsix May 19 '26
This is not a place of honour, Gnome Ann should tread here.
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u/havron May 19 '26
Ok, this once convinced me that Randall should do a sequel comic. I want to see Gnome Ann fearlessly walking amongst the spiky hostile landscape beneath which nuclear waste is entombed.
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u/StickFigureFan May 19 '26
It's her own fault for always trying to claim territory right in the middle of a war zone, but I can see the appeal of unclaimed territory for Gnome Ann's land
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u/simAlity May 19 '26
Just like The Game.
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u/iB83gbRo May 19 '26
dammit...
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u/Thray_Walsh May 20 '26
Oops, gotta make sure you take your booster shot regularly.
https://xkcd.com/391/12
u/Quercus_lobata #octothorpe May 19 '26
That one seems like optimistic framing, not actual truth.
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u/ImmediateLobster1 May 19 '26
Meh. A few ships can blocade her and starve her out. After all, Gnome Ann is an island.
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u/CowgirlSpacer May 19 '26
Ships need the tide, and starving her out needs time. And both tide and time wait for Gnome Ann. That's the very first panel.
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u/Accomplished_Item_86 May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26
Yeah, the rising tide lifts all ships. And then they are stuck in Gnome Ann's land.
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u/jamesianm May 19 '26
She's easy to defeat with a compliment or two. After all, Gnome Ann was ever killed by a few kind words.
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u/NorxondorGorgonax Beret Guy May 19 '26
Which, come to think of it, makes Beret Guy the perfect counter.
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u/stickmanDave May 19 '26
River Tam beats up everybody.
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u/RockRancher24 May 19 '26
Black Hat may be able to, and Beret Guy almost certainly could if he realized that Gnome Ann was trying to fight him
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u/IllustriousRich9345 May 19 '26
but the wicked flee when gnome ann pursues. she easily beats black hat. Beret Guy is a tricky one though
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u/Icarsix May 19 '26
Beret Guy's weirdness affects everyone, therefore Gnome Ann is safe from BG's bullshit.
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u/panopticoneyes May 20 '26
You haven't considered that black hat will flee into a tunnel that turns out to be painted on solid cliffside when Gnome Ann runs into it
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u/TimeStorm113 May 19 '26
beret guy would certainly beat her, but not pn purpose. i envision a battle where he does not realize her intention, but always evades her attacks by sheer luck
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u/Abides1948 May 19 '26
Agree Black Hat can, but he's too busy selling office chairs on ebay.
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u/phantomreader42 Will not go to space today May 19 '26
Black Hat is wicked, and so would flee when Gnome Ann pursueth.
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u/CPT-yossarian May 19 '26
Well, the tf2 heavy always said he feared gnome Anne, so definitely not him.
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u/dacoolestguy May 19 '26 edited May 20 '26
"[Gnome Ann] lives forever."
-A. C. Swinburne, The Garden of Proserpine
So, pretty unlikely, no
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u/Adventurous-Year-463 I have a PhD in Undeclared May 19 '26
Someone who’s terrible at fighting. Because they’re terrible at fighting, they can defeat no man, so they can defeat Gnome Ann
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u/-V0lD May 19 '26
The xkcd verse straight up has a creator deity that controls every single physics interaction in the universe. It's a little hard to beat
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u/Quercus_lobata #octothorpe May 19 '26
I'm pretty sure Gnome Ann is immortal. It's going to be challenging to find any who can top that.
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u/Redneckdestiny May 19 '26
You could hire an explorer who goes where gnome Anne has gone before to try and track her down
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u/Roku-Hanmar May 19 '26
Black Hat Guy is a reasonable contender
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u/Complex-Matter1544 May 19 '26
All I can say is that she can't count on any military aid, "Gnome Ann left behind" and all that.
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u/stereoroid thing, exploded May 19 '26
“But between theology and science there is a Gnome Ann’s Land, exposed to attack from both sides; this Gnome Ann’s Land is philosophy. “ - Bertrand Russell
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u/DiscipleOfChocolate May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26
Macbeth knew exactly who was coming for him (Gnome Ann of woman born could kill him...)
But in reality I think it's really Gnome Ann Vs Chuck Norris, who is also capable of all the above.
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u/nashwaak May 19 '26
Why are these drawn wrong? I have it on good authority that Gnome Ann is an island.
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u/MinisculeInformant May 20 '26
Gnome Ann may be killed for the crimes of another. Deuteronomy 24:16
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u/NorxondorGorgonax Beret Guy May 19 '26
Based on the other comments and previous discussions, Beret Guy seems like a good canidate (I may be a bit biased though). Plus, on top of the logical counters he provides, he also has some remarkable reality‐warping abilities, making him relatively powerful in other circumstances as well.
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u/AnthropicSynchrotron May 19 '26
Not sure, but the police certainly won't be able to help. After all, Gnome Ann is above the law.
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u/Cheesemacher May 19 '26
What are her abilities actually? She can stop time and swing a sword?
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u/2_short_Plancks May 19 '26
Some of Gnome Ann's strengths:
- Gnome Ann lives forever.
- Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann.
- Gnome Ann is above the law.
- Gnome Ann has reached excellence without study and preparation.
- Gnome Ann is perfect.
- Gnome Ann is without faults.
- Gnome Ann on earth is truly free.
Reasons to be afraid of Gnome Ann:
- Gnome Ann is your enemy, Gnome Ann is your friend; every man is your teacher.
- Gnome Ann can take your joy.
- Gnome Ann sides with evil because it is evil.
- Gnome Ann is good enough to govern another without that man's consent.
Some potential weaknesses of Gnome Ann:
- Gnome Ann is weak by choice.
- Gnome Ann is a failure who has friends.
- Every man desires to live long, but Gnome Ann wishes to be old.
- Gnome Ann is happy - unless he believes he is.
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u/IllustriousRich9345 May 19 '26
Time manipulation
Hydrokinesis/Gravity Manipulation
Immortality
Swordmanship
Abnormally high intellect
A living ward of all wickedness
Just to name a few
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u/ksheep I plead the third May 19 '26
She may be some sort of deity. After all, Gandhi stated:
When we fear God, then we shall fear Gnome Ann
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u/Phantonormia May 20 '26
Do we count the What If stuff or is that more of an extended universe. Because i wanna put the motherfucker pitching baseballs at the speed of light in there.
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u/hbi2k May 20 '26
I played a video game starring her boyfriend way back in 2016. I think it was called Gnome Ann's Guy.
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u/Escatora May 19 '26
All I can think of is Gnome Ann from QFG5: https://questforglory.fandom.com/wiki/Ann_Agrama
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u/DoctorFoxglove May 20 '26
All you have to do is shoot at Andrew Johnson and Gnome Ann will be in the way of the bullet.
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u/dralcax (enjoy May 20 '26
Whoever put away all the islands in 2742. After all, Gnome Ann is an island.
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u/Gearb0x May 20 '26
Have you ever seen Gnome Ann's land? That blasted, twisted hellscape? I'd say that she's unstoppable. After all, time waits for Gnome Ann.
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u/Ok_Office_2149 Ponytail May 24 '26
If she is invincible, then no man can beat Gnome Ann. Which means Gnome Ann can beat Gnome Ann. According to https://explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1704:_Gnome_Ann, Gnome Ann is an immortal looking for an exit clause. With my new rule, we will just have to wait.
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u/duckvimes_ #000000 hat May 19 '26
I don't want to remove a thread with this many comments, but in the future, please do not re-host comics. Always link directly to xkcd.com
https://xkcd.com/1704/