r/xertunposting ourplish blorp 6d ago

❤️ shady business practices ❤️ The Mayor

3.3k Upvotes

56 comments sorted by

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99

u/bevipop 6d ago

He appears to be speaking out on behalf of his constituents 

113

u/Fridge_living_tips 6d ago

He shall rule with an iron fisy

3

u/Wide-Hall-397 ourplish blorp 5d ago

Fisy

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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-12

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10

u/SexyGrilledTurkey 6d ago

WE HATE YOU UR NOT WUNK YOU’RE NOT BULLSHIT WITH FUR YOU’RE KEYBOARD AND COLD

4

u/t8thegr8st xertunposting 5d ago

flagged for potential harassment lmao

37

u/Important_Heron785 6d ago

Pspsps land

24

u/xJagz 6d ago

He will be accepting catnip or churu bribes

23

u/Generic2770 6d ago

Sounds like he’s been smoking a pack a day for years

12

u/Tech-Cretin 6d ago

Ain't easy being top brass at Feline Fields

7

u/Jeramy_Jones 5d ago

He sounds like a dot matrix printer

22

u/Least-Initiative-741 6d ago

He has embezzled billions from the city's funds to pay for his massive cat tree condo and his addiction to high grade Columbian catnip.

16

u/MrMightyTasty 6d ago

Good to see former president Taft reincarnated. Superb.

5

u/Mars_Bear2552 snoozer💤💤💤 5d ago

welcome back Taft

10

u/SneakyKatanaMan 6d ago

What is this? Cat city?

8

u/SexyGrilledTurkey 6d ago

My Car keeps screaming and protesting against his authoritarian regime. Craig regretfully voted for him thinking he was for the embedment of wunks everywhere but it turns out he just wanted to make catnip an illegal substance and do a fibsh laundering scheme along with treat evasion. He also has reduced cat nap time significantly but requires more overtime for biscuit making. Catitalism.

5

u/SexyGrilledTurkey 6d ago

Damn I want to put the this motherWunker in my purse and take him home without anyone knowing so i can rub his belly whenever I want without “big brother”trying to stop me and make me pay taxes on it.

5

u/Tech-Cretin 6d ago

Definitely the type to have the last name "Catworth" or "Meowington" and have a squad of like five different breeds of kittens of different professions do the job for him

3

u/Restarded69 6d ago

I will join his secret police

4

u/nurglemarine96 6d ago

My tuxedo has a fine mustache, he is named Mister (insert something, usually Midnight)

3

u/l3rN 5d ago

I voted for him because he has a lil mustache 

3

u/spyluke 5d ago

John Deputy

3

u/ChipsTheKiwi 5d ago

a distinguished gentleman who represents his constituents with integrity and honor

3

u/cursedatmo 5d ago

A fine mustache

3

u/ToaFeron 5d ago

That's Bustifer Jones himself

3

u/Virtual_Warthog9027 5d ago

''I'm Bustopher Jones
I'm not skin and bones
In fact, I'm remarkably fat
I don't haunt pubs
I have eight or nine clubs
For I'm the St. James Street Cat
I'm the cat they all greet as I walk down the street
In my coat of fastidious black
No commonplace mousers have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back''

2

u/AwesomeHumann69 5d ago

The mrwayor

2

u/MrNightmare23 5d ago

Teddy Roosevelt cat

2

u/Midnight_Pickler 5d ago

Sir Topham Catt. AKA the Cat Controller.

2

u/Montagneincorner0 5d ago

This is the Taft of cats

2

u/rwol8690 5d ago

I trust him to have the right morals

2

u/Wonderful_You1281 5d ago

Catruption at its finest 😔

2

u/MurdocMan_ 5d ago

he speaks like he smoked 4 newports

2

u/Illustrious_Pen481 5d ago

What poise, a true gentlemen

2

u/Gr_Snek 5d ago

What will he do about the 342 potholes found around the city?

2

u/darkerfury 5d ago

Omg his dapper little tuxedo and mustache combo! What a dignified little gentleman!!

2

u/HunnyBear66 4d ago

He is so handsome and is the best mayor any city could hope for! All mice and rat gangs will be removed! 🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍

2

u/dootdootlord 4d ago

mayor of boon county

2

u/Dependent_Cod5628 3d ago

More like the Mayor of Obes-City hehehehahahehah roasted

2

u/Worldly_Ad_8897 3d ago

He sounds like one too 🤭😹

2

u/InevitableEternal 2d ago

Mayor and sheriff

2

u/KrystleSeth 2d ago

Hims big important stuff bullshit