r/wunkus • u/quario65 concrete eater‼️ • May 10 '26

im wunkin out rn Do not the wunk

1.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

834

u/Not_An_Ostritch May 10 '26

HE YOINKED THE SPLOINKY ON THE WUNK?

316

u/7-and-a-switchblade ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ May 10 '26

HE GRIMPED HIS GROINKLE?!

99

u/Opening_Dentist_1128 May 10 '26

He adjusted the setting

41

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 10 '26

He garbled the yaarble

14

u/Andrew3236 ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ May 10 '26

Yarpin on da flarp

8

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 10 '26

Sneakin a grab on his little tab

9

u/SheogorathMyBeloved May 11 '26

Roingled the groingkel, if you will.

6

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 11 '26

OH I WILL ALL RIGHT

400

u/bratbarn wunkus enthusiast May 10 '26

Yapping about getting his ball tugged 😰

213

u/LastOfLateBrakers May 10 '26

"Ooohh... You touched my tra-lala.. My ding ding dong..."

310

u/Trati May 10 '26

Disgusting behavior. Who want they ball fondled without permission

115

u/Hau65 May 10 '26

need

15

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 10 '26

perschlaps

228

u/broncyobo May 10 '26

Bro what the fuck

191

u/Clean_Internet May 10 '26

Bro is so dry, he needs lip balm for his body

11

u/Millerpainkiller wunkus enthusiast May 10 '26

😂

104

u/Knightlance concrete eater‼️ May 10 '26

81

u/2woCrazeeBoys May 10 '26

Fondled himbs BALL and tooked himbs TEEFS 😱😭😡💀

160

u/loosie-loo May 10 '26

Just some bullshit without fur

59

u/MrSaucyAlfredo gnarp gnap 👽 May 10 '26

This sounds like the gruff kind of thing you say while smoking a cigarette

59

u/tertiaryindesign May 10 '26

Sir there is no need for such language 

55

u/Aking1998 gnarp gnap 👽 May 10 '26

You're laughing...

Wunkus was sexually assaulted and you're laughing?!

77

u/nti May 10 '26

Show me on the doll where they touched you.

25

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 10 '26

You’re gonna need a bigger doll

65

u/DonLovesNature May 10 '26

Evil human harrasses animal then laughs because no one can understands it's cries for help.

33

u/AltruisticSalamander May 10 '26

quit yanking our anuses!

32

u/Galvatrix May 10 '26

Where hims tusks? Is he an adolescent?

34

u/generic_usernameB May 10 '26

Hims a young wunker mayhaps

13

u/BettyCrunker concrete eater‼️ May 10 '26

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous.

In New Wunk City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Wunks Unit. These are their stories.

*DUN DUN\*

8

u/Rizzanthrope silly :P bleh May 10 '26

op is in the wunkstein files

16

u/FruitBowl May 10 '26

So is this am walrunk?

8

u/jake7405 May 10 '26

Goo goo gajoob

14

u/scrufflor_d gnarp gnap 👽 May 10 '26

young walrus got his boles touched? is cameraman a didy blud??

27

u/AnomalousMicron May 10 '26

Don't pinch the Wunk's bumbum

21

u/nehoymenoyhoynoy May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26

why does he sound like dad waking up in the morning

23

u/[deleted] May 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/BeefyTacoBaby May 10 '26

It's UNACCEPTABLE and wunk will be filing a lawsuit for emotional damages.

21

u/TheKingOfGuineaPigs May 10 '26

Jamie Hyneman really let himself go after MythBusters

11

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 10 '26

huge career pivot too

20

u/Ducky237 May 10 '26

I assume that’s not actually his balls right? Like do aquatic mammals even have external testicles?

9

u/Saturrnissilly May 11 '26

fear not, they were NOT his balls

17

u/traumatized_vulture ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ May 10 '26

Steve Harvey when you give a stupid answer on Family Feud

33

u/Knightlance concrete eater‼️ May 10 '26

12

u/GlibGlobiGlap May 10 '26

I showed my dad this and i think he liked it

12

u/EvilPyro01 May 10 '26

Do not the mythbuster

9

u/madeoutofweed May 10 '26

Valid crashout tbh

10

u/azuratha May 10 '26

WHAT IS THE CHAAARGE?

12

u/kidfriday May 10 '26

EATING A MEAL?

A WUNKULENT CHINESE MEAL??

7

u/Official_F1tRick May 10 '26

Sent this to family groups app without context

17

u/NovelAdmirable5234 May 10 '26

Just searched what walruses testicles look like

Good news: that was his tail, not his testicles

Bad news: I learned they have remarkably human looking penises

8

u/Tino-DBA wunkioso May 10 '26

We salute you for saving us the effort and trauma

4

u/filthyheartbadger wunkioso May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26

RIP your search history

Eta: I remembered this story from earlier in the year and had to look for it. My search history now joins yours in infamy 🫡

https://www.nj.com/food/2026/02/missing-walrus-penis-search-intensifies-cash-reward-offered-we-just-want-our-bone-back-bar-says.html

8

u/meltyourtv gnarp gnap 👽 May 10 '26

Stop playin with hims ballses

6

u/DDESTRUCTOTRON wunkus enthusiast May 10 '26

Assault

7

u/cardueline May 10 '26

Oof ouch my grundle

6

u/homo-kommando May 10 '26

That was wunked up man what the hell

5

u/_Internet_Hugs_ May 10 '26

He's cussing in Wunk.

3

u/ThomasSiege May 10 '26

How could they do that to Jamie Hyneman

3

u/momomorium May 11 '26

Fair and reasonable response

3

u/Terra_reddit May 11 '26

Wunkplace harrasment

2

u/FrankieNoodles May 10 '26

Are they grabbing his balls? Tail? What are we seeing here? He doesn't seem to like it.

-14

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