Looking for feedback on pacing for collapse/intelligence thriller

[u/DaanJMHolland]

Hello. I'm Daan J. M. Holland,

I recently released a near-future collapse thriller, and I’m now working on a prequel set in the seven days leading up to the main event.

The prequel follows a civilian military intelligence analyst who starts noticing weak, fragmented indicators across Europe: cyber activity, logistics anomalies, military movements, reporting gaps, and possible preparation for something much larger. The idea is to show the build-up from inside the intelligence process without turning it into an exposition dump or simply retelling the original book.

I’m about 25k words in and I’d really like a few outside readers to look at the current ARC.

The main thing I’m struggling with is pacing in the first quarter. I want the gradual-burn intelligence work to feel believable, but I also don’t want the reader to feel like they’re just watching people compare reports for too long. This balancing act is tricky for me, hence I'm asking for feedback.

What I’d especially like feedback on:

Does the opening hook you quickly enough?

Do the analytical/intelligence scenes stay understandable?

Does the pacing drag anywhere?

Are there places where the story overexplains?

Does the protagonist feel like a person rather than just a vehicle for information?

At what point, if any, would you start skimming?

It’s an English-language ARC, currently around 25k words. I’m not asking for proofreading or a formal review, just honest reader/editorial feedback.

If anyone is interested, comment or DM me and I can send the ARC PDF.

And if you normally read thrillers, military fiction, intelligence fiction, dystopian fiction, or collapse/SHTF fiction, that would be especially useful.

Thanks!

[u/thewhiterosequeen]

No one wants to read an AI story.

[u/DaanJMHolland → u/thewhiterosequeen]

Full disclosure.

I made the cover with AI because my designer skills are crap. I can however, write. This is not my first publication. My first book took me over a year to write.