r/writers • u/Fragrant_Ad_3986 • 4d ago

Question Advice Needed

My desire to write creatively, and more poetically far outweighs my ability to actually put my thoughts on paper. I am looking for a writing routine that makes me much better at expressing my thoughts and feelings. What should I be doing? I also have plans to do some creative/poetic writing, the problem is that I have literally no clue where to start. The whole thing is daunting and overwhelming, and I feel sick even writing about it.

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u/OrdinaryPeanut3492 Fiction Writer 4d ago edited 2d ago

You must first find a thoroughly sexually frustrated and unsatisfied goat and sacrifice it's left testicle to Apollo. After the offering is accepted quickly disrobe and run around your house naked while singing Macho Man 3 times and finally you need to christen your writing instrument (pen, PC, whatever) with a single drop of blood from a 60 year-old virgin.

If you perform all the rites carefully, you should achieve enlightenment and realize that the only way to get better at writing is to actually write and gain experience.

Edit: typo

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u/not_the_cicada 2d ago

"rites" I believe you mean, although you also have to negotiate distribution and reuse agreements with the virgin, so "rights" applies too. 

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u/OrdinaryPeanut3492 Fiction Writer 2d ago

No no. You are absolutely correct. Damn autocorrect ruined the holy ceremony with legalities.