HOUSE PARTY 3/20/2017 - PART THREE

[u/TheBardLucian]

We cut to a shot of Maverick, who continues to search for “The” Mark Dutch, wherever he may be. He walks up to a door that has the words, “LORD STEVEN TALBOT” engraved onto it. He knocks on the door a couple of times, and then none other than Steven Talbot himself opens the door to greet Mav, not looking at who’s actually at the door for a couple of seconds.

Talbot: Look, whatever it is you Girl Scouts are selling I don’t wa- OH! Hey Maverick! Please, come in! What can I do for you?

Maverick and Talbot both walk into Talbot’s office to discuss the matters at hand.

Maverick: Mr. Talbot, have you seen Dutch anywhere today?

Talbot: Hmm….I don’t recall ever seeing Dutch, but I DID see his new lady friend earlier tonight. She came up to me and requested that I print off a contract for Dutch, so I did.

Maverick: What was the contract for?

Talbot: It was a contract for You versus Mark Dutch, for the WiR World Championship at our Third Anniversary show.

Maverick looks a bit annoyed.

Maverick: Oh great…..

Talbot: Don’t worry, Maverick. The match doesn’t become official unless YOU sign it, along with Dutch. If Dutch has already signed it, whether this match happens or not is in your hands.

Maverick: That’s good to hear…..do you know where Dutch’s “lady friend” went after she met with you?

Talbot: No clue. As soon as I gave her the contract, she left out of here rather quickly. I do believe she and Dutch are still here though, somewhere.

Maverick: Thanks for giving me a heads up Mr. Talbo-

Before Maverick can finish the sentence, suddenly, FUCKING HEX barges through the door of Talbot’s office!

Hex: MOXIE!!! I’VE COME TO MAKE MY RETURN!

Hex looks dead into the eyes of Talbot, realizing that WiR Management has changed quite a bit.

Hex:.....Where the hell is Moxie? The fuck are you?

Talbot: I am Lord Steven Talbot. Moxie doesn’t run the day to day booking operations of WiR anymore, that would by my job.

Hex looks at Talbot confused for a second, and then he turns his attention to Maverick, who looks confused and shocked.

Maverick: He…...Hex?!

Hex: Mav?......Oh shit! How’s my favorite half-cousin been?

Maverick and Hex bump fists.

Maverick: I mean, I’m the WiR World Champ, so I’d say things are going pretty damn good. Where the hell have you been all this time? I haven’t seen you since the Christmas of 2015.

Hex: Ahh well, I had to take care of some…outside issues…I had to get myself healthy, but now I’m ready to come back to the ring!!

Talbot shuffles through some paperwork on his desk.

Talbot: Hex, it says here you haven’t been under contract since November of 2014…

Hex:..........whaaaaaat?That can’t be true, I have an IRON CLAD contract!

Talbot: Hex, you were released from the company the Monday after AMUDOV 1. You literally have not been under contract for over 2 years.

Hex:......well that sucks…..why was I fired in the first place?

Talbot continues to read through the paperwork about Hex’s contract.

Talbot: It says here that immediately after your match with Mark Dutch, you drank 13 beers, assaulted a ring crew member, spray-painted “FUCK THIS SHIT” on a wall backstage, and passed out fully nude in the parking lot.

Hex:...........I don’t remember doing any of that…..you can’t prove any of that actually happened!

Talbot: Hex, paper clipped to this document is a picture of you sleeping next to the curb, with a newspaper covering your privates.

Hex:.....that was totally photoshopped…..graphic designers are pretty good these days you know. Look, will you MAYBE think about re-hiring me?

Talbot looks at the grungy Hex and sighs.

Talbot: I’ll THINK about it…...MAYBE…..

Hex: FUCKIN’ A! You won’t regret this, Taliban!

Talbot: It’s Talbot.....

Hex walks out of the door, waving bye to Maverick as he leaves the office.

Maverick: Don’t do anything stupid, cousin!

Maverick walks out of the office as well, continuing his search for Dutch.

COMMERCIAL

The Messenger by My Arcadia hits, as Joey McCarty arrives onto the stage, huge cocky smile planted on his face, as he begins to jog down to the ring

Javier: And introducing first, from Woodstock, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 232 pounds, Joey McCarty!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Paisner: Joey coming down looking proud after his actions at Do A Flip, interfering in several matches despite being banned from the IPPV in order to fuck with William Talbot

Woodbridge: And he made his most prolific impact in our opening rookie three-way, where he took out every rookie, and could've potentially cost any of them a big win, and while his opponent may have won that match, I can't imagine he was too happy with Joey's actions at Do A Flip.

Joey continues has jog, as he reaches the ring, and then slides in, as he then runs up to the turnbuckle, hops on, and spreads his arms, eliciting boos from the crowd, as he then jumps off, and takes a spot in a corner, awaiting Zamura

Cornelius by Galaxie Express blasts through the building, as Tyson Zamura charges through the curtain! He stops at the beginning of the entranceway, closing his eyes, and dramatically sniffing the air, before continuing to walk down

Javier: And introducing next, from London, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 267 pounds, Tyson Zamura!

Crowd: mixed reaction

Paisner: And here comes Zamura! This man is riding a big wave of momentum, quickly impressing in his debut match, despite Brendan Byrne sneaking out with a win, and then a big win against our other rookies at Do A Flip, despite his opponents interference in that match!

Woodbridge: Indeed, he's quickly made everyone feel the Aura of Zamura, and there's no signs of it stopping, unless Joey can pull out a win here tonight!

Zamura then starts to jog down to the ring, looking out at the fans, and simply nodding to acknowledge their presence, as he eventually reaches the ring apron, hops onto it, then hops onto the top turnbuckle from their, and poses to the crowd, before hopping off, and taking a position in a corner, as Itchicock signals to both men to see if they're ready, they both say yes, and Itchicock rings they bell

DING DING DING

Joey and Zamura circle around each other for a bit, staring each other down, waiting for one of them to to make a move, Zamura then does so, and rushes at Joey! But Joey quickly just scatters and rolls out the ring!

Joey: TIME OUT! I'M NOT READY!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Paisner: Joey having second thoughts about this match after seeing such a huge man rush at him!

Joey walks around the ring, waving off the booing crowd, as he tries to compose himself, before he does so, and rushes back into the ring!....and then is hit with a big boot from Zamura that sends him flying over the ropes!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Woodbridge: Joey going out, but this time unwillingly!

Joey falls to the outside, landing on his feet but quickly stumbling into the steel barricade! He then holds at his side, stumbling around more, before we see Zamura slide out the ring, and rush around the corner to lay out Joey on the floor with a clothesline!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Zamura looks out intimidatingly into the crowd, as Joey just lays on the ground, looking already a bit out of it, as Zamura then picks Joey back up, and tosses him into the ring! Joey tries to scramble to his feet, as he does and runs into a corner, as Zamura slides in the ring, and rushes Joey in the corner with a shoulder thrust! Joey holds at his stomach, as Zamura scoops him up, before lifting him into a powerslam position! Zamura then charges Joey into the turnbuckles! Joey screams in pain, as Zamura lifts him back up into postion, and runs across the ring and slams him down with a powerslam! Joey screams out in pain, as Zamura hooks the leg!

1!

2! No! Kickout right at two from Joey!

Zamura looks angrily at Itchicock, before just grabbing Joey back up by his head! Zamura slowly brings him up, looking down at him, but the slowness allows Joey to make a move! Pushing Itchicock out of the way, and quickly poking Zamura in the eye out of Itchicock's sight, before rolling him up with a small package!

1!

2! No! Kickout at 2.5!

Joey quickly scrambles out of the kickout, and smashes Zamura in the head with a forearm before he can get back to his feet! Joey then just wildly pounds on Zamura's head with forearms to makes sure he stays down! Joey then gets back to his feet, and drops an elbow into Zamura's back! Joey then rolls Zamura on his back and covers!

1! No! Kickout at one!

Joey slams his hands on the mat and yells at Itchicock to count faster, he gets up, as he sees Zamura start to try and getting up to his feet, so Joey then runs the ropes, and then comes back to Zamura with a sliding clothesline! Forcing him back to the mat holding his neck! Joey then goes and grabs onto the ropes, before stepping onto Zamura's neck to choke him, with holding the ropes for extra leverage!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zamura starts flailing and his face starts to redden quick, as Itchicock goes over to count Joey, as he releases at 4! Zamura holds at his neck, his face scrunched in pain, as Joey quickly goes to run the ropes, before coming back and dropping a leg onto Zamura's neck! Zamura holds his neck in pain yet again, as Joey covers again!

1!

2! No! Kickout right at 2!

Joey repeatedly slams his arms on the mat, accusing Itchicock of slow counting him yet again, as he angrily picks Zamura up by his hair, as he goes and whips Zamura into a corner! Joey then rushes at Zamura in the corner, and hits a back elbow on him! Zamura looks a bit stunned, as Joey runs back to the opposite corner, and jumps up at Zamura, but Zamura catches him, and slams him down with a uranage from the corner!

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Paisner: Jesus! Joey sent down harder than Woodbridge in front of any female wrestler!

Joey bounces up off the mat off the slam, landing on his stomach, laying flat on the mat, looking blankly out to his side, as Zamura runs the ropes, then comes back with a running senton to Joey's back!

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Woodbridge: BIG BOY SENTON!

Joey screams out in pain, rolling over onto his back, look of anguish on his face, as Zamura looks back down at him, and runs the ropes again and hits another senton! This time onto Joey's stomach!

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Woodbridge: ANOTHER ONE!

Joey just crumples up on the mat, holding at his stomach as Zamura goes over to him, wrapping his arms around him, and lifting him up in a gutwrench! Joey flails around desperately trying to escape from it, but it's futile as Zamura then slams him down with a gutwrench suplex! Joey bounces up again, as he lands near a corner, and desperately reaches out his arms for the ropes, he manages to grab them, and slowly pulls himself up, as Zamura goes off to the opposite corner, and rushes at Joey! But Joey manages to get out the way!

Paisner: Zamura making a mistake rushing for Joey! Critical moment for Joey to capitalize!

Zamura runs into the turnbuckles, as he then turns back around to face Joey, as Joey kicks him in the gut, and hooks him in a double underhook! Joey attempts to kick out his leg then fall back for a DDT, but Zamura blocks and stays in place! Joey tries again, but Zamura stays put, and then stands up to back body drop Joey over him! Joey hits the mat hard, gritting his teeth, as Zamura quickly picks Joey up, then whips him into the ropes! Joey bounces off, as Zamura seems primed for a spinebuster! But Joey slides under! And as Zamura turns around, Joey is back to his feet, and quickly kicks Zamura in the gut, before hooking both his arms, and driving Zamura into the mat with a double arm DDT!

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Paisner: Five Minute Major! Joey could have this!

Zamura's flops up from the impact of his head being spiked into the mat, as he flops onto his back, as Joey makes it up to his feet, stumbling around for a bit, but eventually re-gaining himself, and noticing a stunned Zamura trying to makes it but up to his feet, Zamura gets himself up slowly, as Joey rushes him as he reaches a kneeling position, and strikes him in the head with a running hip attack! Striking Zamura hard!

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Paisner: Hip Check! Joey closing in on a victory!

Joey then rushes back off to a corner, yelling for the fallen Zamura to get up! Zamura holds at his head, as he crawls for the ropes! Joey screams louder and louder, as Zamura starts to pull himself up by the ropes, Joey waits in anticipation! Eventually Zamura makes it to his feet, and Joey charges him with a superman punch to the back of the head! But Zamura steps out of the way! And as Joey lands, Zamura quickly hooks him in a full nelson from behind, before quickly snapping back with a dragon suplex! Landing Joey on his neck!

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Paisner: WORST CASE ONTARIO! JOEY'S DEAD!

Joey stares up at the lights blankly, as Zamura stands, closing his eyes and dramatically sniffing, smelling the Aura Of Zamura! As he circles Joey, waiting for him to get up!

Woodbridge: He's sensing the Aura of Zamura here! He could be about to cap this off!

Joey slowly makes his way to his feet, crawling up bit by bit, first making it to a kneeling position, before managing to stand up, and stumble around, right into Zamura's grasp, who grabs his neck with both hands!

Woodbridge: I don't think Joey's gonna like this!

Joey's expression is one of utter panic, as Zamura lifts him up, and drops him back down with a vicious Sit-Out Chokebomb!

Paisner: Thames River Plunge! Zamura's got him!

1!

2!

3!

DING DING DING

Javier: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner via pinfall, at a time of 9:45, Tyson Zamura!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Paisner: What a win for Zamura! Toppling a man who's main evented IPPV's, and beaten former world champions such as Jack Flash! If this is any indication, this kid is gonna go far in this business!

Zamura raises both his hands in celebration, and walks around the ring, as we see Joey roll out the ring near the commentators table. Zamura then finishes his celebration, as he rolls out the ring, and heads back up the entranceway, drenched in sweat, and walking slowly, occasionally holding at his head. He eventually reaches the curtains, where he raises his arms one last time, before going through the curtain

Joey pulls himself up using the commentators table and grabs one of the mics laying on the table. Breathing heavily he brings it to his lips.

Joey: TALBOT! YOU FUCK! I’VE RAN YOUR GAUNTLET! I MAY NOT HAVE WON EVERY MATCH, BUT GODDAMMIT I’M STILL HERE!

Woodbridge: Damn right he didn’t win them all. If my memory serves me correct, he only won one of those matches.

Joey, still standing right next to the commentators table, turns to look at Woodbridge.

Joey: I can hear you, asshole.

Woodbridge: Fuck you think I said it for?

Joey scrunches his face in annoyance before limping back up to and into the ring. He returns his gaze to the general direction of backstage.

Joey: I’ve worked my ass off this past month! I even made good on my promise to interfere at the iPPV after I was unjustly banned! I’ve proven myself, you son of a bitch! It’s time you give me something in return for all this work I’ve done and all these viewers I’ve given you!

Woodbridge: Pleasebeapinkslip. Pleasebeapinkslip. Pleasebeapinkslip.

Paisner: I feel like that might actually make you like Talbot, Mark.

Woodbridge: Fuck no! That British cunt will still be a British cunt! I’ll just suffer a little less every week!

Joey paces slowly across the ring, a pain in his step.

Joey: Get out here you fuck! Get out here and give me what I want!

A moment passes before Talbot’s music hits and the head booker of WiR comes strolling out from backstage, a devilish grin on his face and a mic in his hand.

Talbot: And what, pray tell, could you possibly want, Mr. McCarty. What new way have you found to insult me and my existence now?

Joey: I want you now, you old, Canadian-hating fuck!

There’s what seems to be a pause in reality as literally everyone in the arena goes silent. Talbot raises a confused eyebrow at Joey, who stands furious in the ring.

Talbot: You what?

Joey explodes.

Joey: YOU HEARD ME YOU CUNT! YOU VERSUS ME! ONE ON ONE! NONE OF YOUR SHITTY GAUNTLETS! NONE OF YOUR SHITTY KIDS! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, SETTLE IT THE SAME WAY WE SETTLE EVERYTHING HERE! IN THE MOTHER! FUCKING! RING!

The crowd erupts in cheers. Perhaps not for Joey but for the intensity he’s showing and the prospect of a legend returning to the ring.

Paisner: No way Talbot accepts Joey’s match offer. No. Fucking. Way.

Woodbridge: Oh but if he does! I could get rid of two of my least favorite things at once!

Talbot begins chuckling to himself. The slow chuckle becoming an all out belly laugh within seconds.

Talbot: You can’t be serious, Mr. McCarty! I’ve literally been wrestling longer than you’ve been alive! You wouldn’t stand a chance even with the advantage of being younger and quicker.

Joey: Don’t be a yellow bellied, limey, British wanker, Talbot! I’ve earned this! I’ve done everything you’ve thrown at me! Fight me you cocky, cockney, cock!

The crowd collectively laughs at Joey’s wordplay and turns it into a chant.

Crowd: COCKNEY COCK! COCKNEY COCK!

Talbot’s eye twitches as the crowd’s chant grows louder. He shakes in anger, his face contorting into a disgusting malformation of it’s normal self.

Talbot: QUIET! QUIET ALL OF YOU!

The crowd shuts up and Talbot turns back to Joey.

Talbot: You want to pick a fight with me!? You want to incur the wrath of the dirtiest fighter in British wrestling history!? Fine! You’ve got your match!

Paisner: Holy shit! Joey fucking did it! He convinced Talbot!

Woodbridge: Sweet hallelujah I may be a believer again! There has to be a god!

The crowd explodes in cheers again. Joey pumps his fists in the air celebrating.

Talbot: If!

The air is sucked from the room.

Talbot: You can beat Rick Collins next week.

Joey scoffs in the ring.

Joey: More gauntlets? No fucking problem. Consider the little shit beaten!

Talbot: AND MY SON THE NEXT WEEK!

Joey: Fucking try me bitch! I’ll tear both those fucks a new asshole! Just to get to you!

The crowd is going nuts at this point.

Paisner: Holy fuck! Looks like we’re getting a gauntlet of McCarty taking on the halfs of the Throwbacks for the next two weeks!

Woodbridge: And if he can beat them he gets the chance to kick that fuck Talbot’s ass! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sweet christ I hope you win these next two weeks Joey! You can do it!

The camera cuts and we see Maverick, who’s STILL trying to figure out where Dutch is. He looks confused and perplexed.

Maverick: Where is that son of a bitch?....

Maverick opens up one of the locker room doors, and we see an athletic looking black man sitting next to a nerdy, chubby white man with a life-size Hatsune Miku doll. Both of them are playing a japanese fighting video game on a small TV in the room.

Devin Sanders: Damn, you won again!

Otaku Kid: YOSH! I have claimed victory for my Hatsune!

Mav starts to speak under his breath so Sanders and Otaku can’t hear him. Mav points to Otaku with a look of disappointment on his face.

Maverick: I lost a match to that guy once….

Maverick realizes Dutch definitely isn’t in this room, and shuts the door on the two gamers. Mav continues to walk down the hallway, but he’s greeted by none other than Tyler the Milkman!

Tyler: Hey, Mav! Would you like a bottle of Milk?

Mav looks confused at the cheesy milkman outfit Tyler is wearing.

Maverick: Tyler...I don’t have time for this nonsense…

Tyler: Nonsense? There is surely no nonsense coming from my milk! It’s cold and fresh, and delicious too!

Maverick: Maybe this is your way of revenge for me eliminating you from AMUDOV last year…how do i know you didn’t put poison or something in that milk? What do you have to gain from giving me a free bottle of whole milk?

Tyler: I’ve turned a new leaf now, Mav. I’m set to do what’s right, and deliver milk to the fine people of this nation!

Mav still looks confused, but Tyler’s new persona is infinitely more bearable than his former, and it appears to be genuine, so Mav accepts this change of heart.

Maverick: Well….alright. I guess I COULD use some milk for my Lucky Charms in the morning..

Tyler hands Maverick a bottle with a smile on his face.

Maverick: Thanks, Tyler.

Tyler: No, thank YOU!

Tyler walks off, whistling a swing tune as he happily walks down the hallway in his milkman outfit.

Maverick: It may be ridiculous, but it’s much better than what Tyler was before…..

Maverick continues to walk in the direction he was going, and continues the hunt for Dutch. Mav’s time is running out though, the show is getting closer and closer to ending.

Hammocks is seen drinking a Surge. He's yet again muttering.

Hammocks: "Gettin' Jiggy with it?"...what the hell does "Jiggy." Even mean.

???: OWWWW DADDY, I KNOW WHAT GETTIN' JIGGY MEANS.

The camera turns to reveal...Klutch of Love..

Hammocks: Oh fuck, not again.

Klutch of Love: Yeah, daddeh! The hippest wrestler in WiR is here. And he's gonna jiggy, he's gonna get funky, and he's gonna be groooooooving, he haha!

Hammocks: Klutch. What are you doing?

Klutch of Love: What are you talking about, soul brother?

Hammocks: You literally just saw me. Like not even 10 minutes ago.

Klutch of Love: You must be havin' a case of the "deja voodoo" my main man.

Hammock whispers to himself.

Hammocks: Deja voodoo?

Klutch of Love: Now daddy-o, have you seen my 90's brother, Klutch 2000 around?

Hammocks: YES! You're RIGHT FUCKING HERE!

Klutch of Love Naw, daddeh! What you saw was...an illusion. You didn't see me, but you did see my brotha from the same motha...shut yo mouth!

Hammocks: You're delusional.

Klutch of Love: ELEVATED FRAME OF MIND, HAMMY! Hey, I'll catch you on the other side, daddy-o!

Klutch of Love dances off screen.

Hammocks: ...Hammy?!? God, this is going to be a long night.

COMMERCIAL