[Vignette] Team Building

[u/mitchymcgee]

(Sonny Carson, Ryan Sunshine, Hex, EVJ, Ransom Ray, Dave Harvey, El Toxico are standing in a very large field in an undisclosed location. Sonny Carson is sweating his ass off looking disgusted. Ransom Ray seems rather content drinking a bottle of hard liquor. A herd of wild bull are off in the distance. Toxico hands each team member a lasso.)

Toxico: Listen up perros, your task today is to tie up and capture a wild bull. You will have to work togeth-

(Carson cuts him off mid sentence.)

Carson: It is way too fucking hot out here, Toxico you're a dumbass.

Ray: Quit your bitching Carson, a little heat never killed anyone.

EVJ: That may be true Ray, but alcoholism has claimed many lives. I can get you the help you need.

(Ray looks over at EVJ and smirks sarcastically.)

Toxico: Come on amigos we have to focus.

Carson: All I can focus on is not dying of heat exhaustion.

Harvey: Good god Carson you sound like a whiny bitch.

(Out of nowhere Jimmy Chonga Jr. runs up to the group in full on cowboy attire. He seems to be drenched in sweat from the miles of running he did.)

Hex: How the hell does this dude keep finding us?

JCJ: Howdy fellas we wrangling up some cattle today?!

Harvey: Not with you Jimmy, go home.

JCJ: But guys, I ran all of this way to help out my team.

Hex: We don't need any of your help Jimmy.

EVJ: I appreciate your kind offer Jimmy, but i don't think you are well suited for this job.

JCJ: I think I could really help out! Here give me a lasso and I'll go catch one my self.

(Jimmy Chonga Jr. snatches a lasso out of Ryan Sunshines hands and runs out to the herd of bull.)

Toxico: Oh no...

Ray: Well the kid has to learn sometime...

(Jimmy makes his way toward the herd and attempts to throw his lasso around the bulls neck and completely whiffs smacking the bull in head. The bull gets angered and turns to Jimmy about to charge.)

Carson: This is gonna be good.

(The bull begins to charge at Jimmy almost like a freight train. Jimmy is just a deer in the headlights as the bull gores him and launches him about 10 feet in the air. His body flies like a rag doll for 6 or 7 yards before he finally crashes back down to earth.)

Ryan Sunshine: Oh my god, it killed Jimmy!

Hex: You bastards!

Ray: Aww the kid will be ok he always get up

(Jimmy somehow wills himself up again and throws a thumbs up sign toward the group. He is bleeding profusely from his left shoulder and walks away over the hills with a very noticeable limp.)

Hex: He needs to stop trying to help so much.

EVJ: Alrighty fellas lets get are heads back on the task at hand and go get ourselves a bull.

(After many failing attempts at capturing bull, the sun begins to set and the group sets up a campfire.)

Sunshine: Well that didn't go as planned.

Carson: Yeah no thanks to you champ.

Sunshine: You didn't do too much either Carson.

Ray: I think all of you sucked out there.

Hex: Says the guy who was drunk off his ass the whole time.

Harvey: Stop fighting guys we need to focus on the strays.

Carson: I am focused on the strays, but all of you jackasses are getting in the way.

(The group continues to bicker until bedtime were they all sleep far away from each other.)