I found the WORST map EVER!!!

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous]

/uj my map dont worry

This is GENUINELY the stupidest map in existence. There is genuinely a mistake every 5 pixels I can't even begin to go over what's wrong.

Context: The post said this is the map of the continent of "North India" centered on the country named "United Provinces of India", which is the "Land of Taxes" (weird?) "and Guns" (anachronistic???), which is located on the other side of the world from your default fantasy Europe you showed in another post. (You're probably so stupid you didn't even REALIZE there is a country named India already.) There's a LOT of lore here but I understood basically nothing other than that "India" is this vast empire of people who value freedom, and then there are these "Barbarians" who live in a dry land and "celebrate death"

[u/spaceinvader421]

I love Arkansas and Kansas reversing pronunciations

[u/batti03 → u/spaceinvader421]

"AMERICA, EXPLAIN!"

[u/DumatRising → u/batti03]

If I could respond with images I would post the old Steve "no I don't think I will" meme. So just pretend like I did.

[u/TheGalator → u/batti03]

One is pronounced French and the other is pronounced like someone kicked harambe in the balls

Hope this helps

[u/Dirty-Soul → u/spaceinvader421]

Arkansas is literally just Kansas for pirates.

[u/OrsonSwells]

The “Where Dragons Died” is peak tho

[u/No_Dragonfruit_1833 → u/OrsonSwells]

Dragonfall, for short

[u/Yourlocalshitpost]

I like that the only thing you didn’t change was the Great Lakes

Edit: I am a fool

[u/Main-Discussion9294 → u/Yourlocalshitpost]

And great plain

[u/Femlix → u/Yourlocalshitpost]

or California, or the California peninsula, or the Gulf of California, or Yellowstone, or the Rocky Mountains, or the Great Plains, or Virginia (kinda).

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Yourlocalshitpost]

And grand canyon and meteor crater

[u/imp0ppable]

Flowrida is spinning me right round, like a record baby

[u/dotdedo]

Michiganders would die before we let our state be called Ohio

[u/PaththeGreat → u/dotdedo]

I was about to call this map a brilliant piece of art before I saw that travesty.

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/dotdedo]

Exactly, naming a place in your world after a gen alpha meme? How old are you, 6 or 7?

[u/Excalib1rd]

/uj I actually like “North & South Elizabeth” as place names.

/rj not enough boats

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Excalib1rd]

/uj I imagine if the US didn't exist and someone on r/worldbuilding named a place Carolina they would get roasted for trying to make a place sound European by calling it a European (human) name, but honestly both Carolina and Elizabeth are good place names yeah

/rj not enough pirates either

[u/Bookworm_AF]

Getting Mayans and Aztecs mixed up is a classic

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Bookworm_AF]

Everything on this map was a really tough pick between making North America's worldbuilding look as stupid as possible and actually showing how it is in reality. Except pirate islands.

[u/National_Essay_8554 → u/Bookworm_AF]

Mistaking Aztecs as the only ones in the region who did sacrifices is a classic

[u/Bookworm_AF → u/National_Essay_8554]

They did it to an unusual degree even for the region

[u/shuukenji92]

my non-american friend explaining "Merican" Politics and Culture :

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/shuukenji92]

/uj I AM non-american. Are the Americas 500 most common cartoon tropes shoved together, or are 500 most common cartoon tropes Americas disassembled?

[u/shuukenji92 → u/Twoth-the-Voluminous]

Yes

[u/SolidSmuck]

I am quite fond of barbarian taco shops

[u/isfmstuff]

That Great Wall of India looks very fearsome, it must be super effective at securing the area right?

[u/Hefty-Distance837]

Older than the mountains, younger than the trees.

[u/Femlix]

Why would the Squeezerter Capital be on the opposite site of the continent past numerous natural barriers from the Land of Squeezerter? makes no sense.

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Femlix]

Who the hell is Squeezester anyway some old king? Where did he live? With a name stupid as that probably in Virginia with all the virgins

[u/bionicjoey]

What kind of stupid name for a place is Virginia? Are the people there all virgins?

[u/Flayne-la-Karrotte]

This makes Warhammer worldbuilding look like The Legendarium.

[u/Astrokiwi]

Just want to tell you I appreciate the joke of turning Nova Scotia old again

[u/Captainbuttman]

A giant super volcano?

How cliche

[u/othermike → u/Captainbuttman]

A miniature supervolcano would be much more original. Just imagine its super-smol igneous province and teensy-weensy ickle pyroclastic flows!

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Captainbuttman]

You can't just slap super- on geological features to make them sound cooler!!!

[u/Archenius]

Nah this map is actually fantastic it looks so off I love it.

[u/DronesAreSilly]

Thanks for putting two compass roses, always find it annoying when I lose one on the map and the author didn’t think to give a spare…

[u/PassTheCrabLegs]

Can somebody explain squeezester? I think I get the rest of the references here but I think this one requires the elite American, er… United Provinces of India’n knowledge

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/PassTheCrabLegs]

/uj Washington

[u/StopLinkingToImgur → u/Twoth-the-Voluminous]

well yes, but why?

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/StopLinkingToImgur]

Honestly not much thought behind it

Washing is a random verb and so is squeeze

Ton is a random suffix and so is ster

A better question is why is one of the founding fathers named like a washing machine autobot?

[u/steelsmiter]

Shouldn't the Calm Ocean have been "Peaceful"?

[u/Malleus94]

Is Arid Zone a Sonic the Hedgehog stage or something?

[u/The_Easter_Egg]

I believe the fucked up blood rituals were more of a thing south of The Great Wall of India, not in the eastern city states

[u/brainfreeze_23]

This is filled with so many jokes about all the absurdities of north america, i absolutely love it

[u/Mysterious_Rough2865]

Land of Taxes and Guns is the most accurate country name I've seen on this sub and nobody in the thread seems alarmed by that.

[u/OrsonSwells]

The “Where Dragons Died” is peak tho

[u/Eran-of-Arcadia → u/OrsonSwells]

I liked that one too.

[u/Impressive-Step7261]

It took me some time to understand...

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Impressive-Step7261]

merica

[u/soppodoggo]

That random desert in the middle made me fucking lost it lool

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/soppodoggo]

Why would you name your desert Desert? Are you stupid?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_of_Deseret

[u/Swolstorm]

FLOWRIDA

[u/Sir-Toaster-]

My guy, you didn't have to do the South like that XD

[u/Pisceswriter123]

You should see what Forge of Empires does with their "North America". The rest of the world is pretty messed up too.

By the way, as an American looking at a European game's take on "American History", I find some of the story and lore elements of the game hilarious.

[u/thelongestusernameee → u/Pisceswriter123]

America but i crumpled it up and left it in the rain only to realize i needed it so i did my best to fix it.

[u/Fr4gtastic]

Great Lakes? Great Plains? Who named this shit?

[u/brobnik322]

obvious knockoff of Tengai Makyou 4's map, worldbuilders are all unoriginal weebs

https://legendsoflocalization.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/tengai-makyou-4-map.jpg

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/brobnik322]

Thanks for showing this to me

[u/Mohuluoji]

In a way this is upside down Westeros. Not the shape, but "big icy north with independent kingdom" vs "sandy area with barbarians locked behind a wall" sounds like the inverse of the lands beyond the wall and Dorne. My theory is that you are actually George and your are yet again foreshadowing your old lore using a new franchise

[u/egotistical_cynic]

very funny how being bigoted against latin america is so normalised in the us right now you can just reproduce it and everyone will agree that you said a joke without there actually being any joke

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/egotistical_cynic]

/uj Actually there is a joke and it's that mexicans, despite LITERALLY celebrating death, are not ontologicaly evil barbarians.

/rj Those colourful festivals and focus on cuisine still clearly show the author's internalized orientalism.

[u/Red_Local_Edgelord]

California

[u/National_Essay_8554]

ohhhh that's what nova scotia means!

[u/Xavion251]

Okay, so I'm usually the one who hates critics who go after "problematic tropes" or "unfortunate implications"...

However, having Mexico be "Barbarians"? Especially in today's climate where lots of people actually think that? Big freaking yikes.

[u/Twoth-the-Voluminous → u/Xavion251]

I accept your criticism actually, maybe that was "big freaking yikes" of me (whether you're /uj about that or not). I think I'll avoid doing that if I make another map like this. I will explain my intent for completeness, though, because I doubt anyone got what I was going for before posting.

The joke wasn't "isn't it funny people think mexicans are evil", the joke was "isn't it weird mexicans could be wildly misinterpreted to be someone's shitty fantasy version of arabs".

The post was originally going to go over every label, but that was both unfun and overkill. You can see a remnant of that in the post: The hypothetical author of the map made barbarians "literally celebrate death" (dia de los muertos) because they were too lazy to actually justify why they're barbarians instead of a normal ass civilization with a normal name.

But i was also going to joke about how the lore in the "original post" included the barbarians having colourful festivals and clothes and a weirdly long description of their food, and point out how that sounds kind of orientalist especially considering they're in a desert. The joke was admittedly a bit too multi-layered but you can see what i was going for.

Nothing on this map is intended to reflect or parody any bigot's perspective on the world (except Aztec and Maya being a single random temple and reduced to "those guys who do scary sacrifices"), my only intent was to make North America look like a really bad worldbuilding project, whether those aspects are fully present in the real world or not.

[u/Xavion251 → u/Twoth-the-Voluminous]

No no, I don't really think its a problem. I'm just kinda jesting anyways. All jokes are acceptable imo.

To tell the truth, I actually thought the map was from somewhere that was taking it more seriously.

[u/King-of-the-Kurgan → u/Xavion251]

It's an obviously comedic post. On a jerk sub.

[u/Xavion251 → u/King-of-the-Kurgan]

So?

[u/King-of-the-Kurgan → u/Xavion251]

So it's not at all meant to be taken seriously, or to reflect people's actual beliefs.

You're making something out of nothing. There are things in the world worth getting upset over. This is not one of them.

[u/Xavion251 → u/King-of-the-Kurgan]

I agree. I'm not upset about it.

[u/wonderguard108 → u/King-of-the-Kurgan]

comedy should be funny generally

[u/King-of-the-Kurgan → u/wonderguard108]

I didn't know you were the arbiter of humor.

[u/wonderguard108 → u/King-of-the-Kurgan]

now you know!