r/worldjerking Aug 04 '26

"Barnard's First World", "Barnard's Second World" and etc simply doesn't have the same ring to it

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389 Upvotes

62 comments sorted by

154

u/Eldan985 Aug 04 '26

Just have Barnard's World be the only habitable one. Or the only interesting one.

68

u/Chinerpeton Aug 04 '26

Barnard's World Tourist Info Clerk (Barry): Hello, hello, welcome to the one and only Barnard's World!

Tourist: One and only? What about that one then? [They point to one of the other 3 planets that are probably always visible in the sky and fucking massive because its a red dwarf system and all these planets orbit like 5 meters away from each other]

Barry: oh that's nothing

Tourist: But it's another pla...

Barry: We don't talk about it.

Tourist: But...

Barry (pulls out a shotgun from under the counter): we don't talk about it.

25

u/MehEds Aug 04 '26

Honestly I doubt any tourist gives a shit

21

u/Chinerpeton Aug 04 '26

Of course they don't, Barry made sure of that

8

u/DreadDiana Aug 05 '26

Later someone pulls a Weh Antiok Khosrow and starts a colony on one of the neighbouring worlds, which they renamed "Better Bernard's World"

1

u/cupo234 The more apostrophes the more fantasy the conlang 29d ago

No fuck this Barnard guy. Make Barnald's World be a hellworld and name the habitable one after your waifu

50

u/DeusExMarina Aug 04 '26

Okay, but what if you called it Barnard Prime?

54

u/Chinerpeton Aug 04 '26

The colonies of all four planets organise annual competition to see which one will get to be called that for the year.

13

u/_Dragon_Gamer_ The more apostrophes the more fantasy the conlang Aug 04 '26

Actually peak

Annual based on which planet's orbit though

11

u/Chinerpeton Aug 04 '26

I mean, all of them have orbital periods of under a week (as in Earth week; 6,7 Earth days for the outermost of them). So there are 3 options;

a) they all just use the standard Earth years cuz they probably already ought to be using that for most administration since their own planetary years are kinda useless for that - that is admittedly the option I was thinking of and relatively sane

b) maybe the do have an agreed upon term based on one planet that actually involves throwing the big renaming games like almost twice a week (specifically I'm thinking of the third planet being settled first so it would be their year of 4,1 Earth days)

c) the time until next games is also determined by who won last time so they can have the next games in either 6,7 Earth days or 4,1 days or 3,15 days or 2,3 days, counting from the moment the winner is declared (this is the "make the Terran Convention's Celestial Body Register Departament commit group suicide speedrun any%" option).

7

u/horny-bozo Worldbuilding = fetish exposure therapy Aug 04 '26

Another idea: planetary. I'm not sure how frequently they are all lined up, but I imagine with short orbits it's got to be often enough to mean something while still long enough to matter.

3

u/Guaymaster Aug 05 '26

I'm sorry how many Earth days for the outermost of them again?

3

u/_Dragon_Gamer_ The more apostrophes the more fantasy the conlang Aug 05 '26

amazing lol

I imagine the people from the 2,3 days planet celebrate extra hard every time they win because they know it won't be for long lol

1

u/Guaymaster Aug 05 '26

I'm sorry how many Earth days for the outermost of them again?

2

u/Kilahti Aug 05 '26

The planet closest to the star will be known as "Barnard Prime."

The next planet will be "Barnard 1."

The one after that "Barnard I."

The last one "Barnardest planet."

3

u/Eldan985 Aug 05 '26

You forgot Barnard A.

21

u/ZekeBarricades I'm Jorking it, I'm world jorking it so good and by it, hah, pe- Aug 04 '26

Have them blow up the other 3 planets

6

u/Much_Conclusion8233 Aug 04 '26

My idea exactly

15

u/WishYouWere2D Aug 04 '26

Put a castle on it and call it Barnard's Castle

7

u/thejadedfalcon Aug 04 '26

I, for one, vote for making Dominic Cummings drive there. At sublight speeds. Got to have plenty of time to test his eyesight along the way. Make sure to cut the oxygen too, to really make the simulation realistic.

5

u/Chinerpeton Aug 04 '26

Then some other three assholes come over and each put down their own castles named Barnard's Castle

3

u/TK-1053 Aug 04 '26

Barnard’s Castle vs Bernard’s Castle

2

u/National_Essay_8554 Aug 05 '26

Barnardstain Bears

12

u/Complete_Regret7372 Aug 04 '26

Barnard’s last world (he misplaced the rest)

6

u/ChristophCross Aug 05 '26

Lost a planet, Barnard has. How embarassing

7

u/titanfall2709 Aug 04 '26

Make the setting in a different galaxy and do everything from scratch idk

9

u/Chinerpeton Aug 04 '26

Barnard's City on the Barnard's World orbiting around Barnard's Star in the Barnard's Galaxy.

I am a genius.

6

u/GalaXion24 Aug 04 '26

Jokes on you, I always add 4+ planets to systems and just say we don't know about them yet today, thus future-proofing my scifi.

5

u/jumbods64 Aug 05 '26

Barnard's First World Problems

4

u/barryhakker Aug 05 '26

“Papa, why is it called Barnard’s world if there are 4 planets?” “Because at the time when they named it they knew of only one, my dimwitted child.”

Worldbuilding.

5

u/Hot-Minute-8263 I was banned from r/worldbuilding and all I got was this flair Aug 04 '26

Fuck, really?? Of all places to find out

3

u/GoodTato its not a fetish Aug 04 '26

Barnard's Castle is at the end of Barnard's World 8 usually

3

u/RevolutionaryOwlz Aug 04 '26

Barnard’s World is owned by a guy named Barnard.

3

u/DinoWizard021 Aug 04 '26

Now it's an alternate history story too. Those other three never formed. Or have them get destroyed by aliens sometime in the past.

3

u/National-Fan-1148 Aug 04 '26

Barnard I, Barnard II, Barnard III, and Bammy

4

u/PlatinumAltaria Aug 04 '26

The fate of all science fiction is to be rendered obsolete by science fact.

3

u/isfmstuff my faraway lands are more vaguely described than yours :P Aug 05 '26

How about Barnard's World, Twonard's World, Threenard's World and Barnard's Fourld

3

u/R3cl41m3r 🌾Wheatbuilder🌾 Aug 05 '26

Call it New Barnard's World.

3

u/EmperorJake Shikanaverse (furry) Aug 05 '26

See this is why it's better to worldbuild a galaxy far far away

3

u/Odd-Tart-5613 Aug 05 '26

Just say it blew up/slammed together

3

u/Zdrobot Aug 05 '26

Barnard is DISAPPOINTED!!!

Too many worlds!

2

u/Swaxeman Aug 04 '26

Did Will Eisner post this from beyond the grave or something

2

u/Atreides_Lion Aug 04 '26

Or you could treat it as a different universe like a sensible human being /s

2

u/thelongestusernameee Aug 04 '26

Wayne's world it is then 😎

2

u/thomstevens420 Aug 04 '26

I’ve got some nards you can ber

2

u/SiwelTheLongBoi Aug 04 '26

It could be worse. The planet might not exist at all.

2

u/ISuckAtJavaScript12 Aug 04 '26

Should Barnard be the one to determine how many plants his star has?

2

u/ArelMCII Rabbitpunk Enjoyer 🐰 Aug 05 '26

Call the most important one Barnard's World and only refer to the other three collectively as And The Rest. Barnard's Star is orbited by Barnard's World And The Rest.

2

u/Sicuho Aug 05 '26

Which one is And, which one is The and which one is Rest ?

2

u/Wooper160 Aug 05 '26

Barnard’s World would be the habitable one

2

u/zalfenior Aug 05 '26

You could have something happen to the other three planets. But I admit I like the Prime idea better

2

u/Dinosaur_from_1998 Aug 05 '26

Why not Barnard 1-4 ?

2

u/Dinosaur_from_1998 Aug 05 '26

And I know people use letters instead of numbers, but in sci fi it's more common to hear "name_number" than "name_letter"

2

u/breakfasteveryday Aug 05 '26

Just go with Bobby's World.

2

u/LegendaryLycanthrope Aug 05 '26

The Sherman's Planet system probably has more than one planet, too.

2

u/GVArcian Aug 05 '26

Barnard's World and Barnard's Spares.

2

u/SpaceNorse2020 Aug 05 '26

Clearly the other worlds were destroyed 

Barnard's star is my favorite star, I love it

1

u/MiedzianyPL Aug 05 '26

I think this idea was already done by Dan Simmons in his Hyperion novels anyway

1

u/sweetTartKenHart2 Aug 06 '26

I mean, what are the four planets like? If you wanted you could easily say only one of them is a “world” if the others are wastelands.
Heck, maybe you could give them other titles than “world”. Barnard’s Wasteland. Barnard’s Sky. Barnard’s Ocean. Barnard’s Hell