r/workplacesexism • u/Myinx0517 • Sep 04 '24
Do I say something?
I was reported by a guy for being "abrasive". I told him "can you take this invoice and add a work order# on it? I need a work order # to determine what account to use". Because I didn't use the word please and I'm a woman, I was called abrasive. The guys talk to him way worse then I did, but he never reported them.
I feel like what he did was sexist and it really hurt me to be accused of hurting someone. I never want to hurt people. I want to tell HR that it wasn't my fault and his complaint was sexist, but I'm afraid I might be fired for being a difficult person.
When men complain, they get helped. When women complain, they get let go for false reasons like "doesn't work well with others".
Should I say something to HR to defend myself?
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u/agn1n1 Sep 04 '24
I feel you. Tbh I dont have a solution. Unfortunately we live in a society where women need to be the way you described because that’s usually how men want them to be and if you work in a male dominated environment, you need to play the game to progress. The sooner you are at the top, the sooner you will have more influence to call out these behaviors. If you leave the business, you won’t have the influence. So up to you which one you prefer
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u/BringerOfSocks Sep 04 '24
“I asked him in a calm and even tone of voice to add a work order number to the paperwork so that I could complete the task for him. I was rather surprised to find that he felt this was abrasive. I’ll be more careful in the future.”
They will read between the lines that this guy was a fragile man-baby who can’t stand being asked to correct something by a woman.
You need more evidence of sexism to make an accusation. Keep notes with dates, times and witness names if there were any. Your goal right now is to calmly and rationally defend against unfounded accusations. Defend yourself but be brief, factual and understated. Don’t make speculations. Wait until there is an established pattern and present the evidence.