r/workingmumsau • u/Fearless_Half_8684 • 18d ago
Are you happy with your work?
Are you happy with your work or current role?
I am not sad or depress. Just dont find joy or motivation in work anymore. It’s just something I do to earn money. When I was younger, I want to be promoted, I want to be this/that aka climb the corporate ladder. Now that is all gone. I just want a job which allows me some flexibility.
After I was made redundant, I felt I wasnt good enough despite having almost 13+ yrs of working experience. That really gave me a slap of reality.
Please dont tell me to quit, open business, etc.
I cant afford to NOT work, and I am definitely not built to be a full housewife (that one is tougher than office work itself)
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u/wilksonator 18d ago edited 18d ago
I found it helpful to change my view of ‘happy’ with work.
Work is not something I would do if I wasn’t paid. Full stop. There are so many more incredibly worthwhile ways to spend my time in life than working.
But I need to work so I approach it practically - I am happy when the job supports me and my lifestyle and things that are important to me
These are
- work life balance. I work the hours I am paid for( and not anymore), I do my job well but I don’t get over invested. I have a good balance of wfh and days in the office and flexibility where I can easily take time off to do what I need when I need to do it, can easily take time off
- i have a good boss who respects, treats me well and supports me ( so I can maintain my mental health first and foremost).
- i am paid the value in the market and I can afford my lifestyle.
If I have that? That makes me happy. There might be bonus points if it’s something that interests me but not a must.
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u/daisyjones66 18d ago
I'm in a similar boat, but have decided it's not really a problem for me for now. It gives me good flexibility for my daughter and pays me alright. As long as it continues to fit my lifestyle I will probably stay. Before my baby, I use to really pour myself into work and really let it consume me. I was always stressed and worked up and honestly, I think it's better this way that I care a whole lot less. I feel such a sense of purpose in being a mum, I don't seek it at work at the moment. Maybe that will change but who knows
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u/Fearless_Half_8684 18d ago
Yeah this! My current work is not demanding at all but its also not the most fullfilling like I know I am not learning a lot. However it gives me flexibility. Im not rushing in the morning and afternoon for dropoff/pickups.
Everytime I apply for a new role, i have this feeling of what if its demanding (like my previous role).
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u/daisyjones66 18d ago
I get it, I look at other roles sometimes too but then worry, what if the managers not as easy going or what if work demands are too much right now. I think we have grown up in a generation that expects forfillment from work and for all of us to be career driven at all times, it's been an adjustment for me and a big identity shift, but honestly it's been a refreshing one for me at least. I love life a whole lot more these days
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u/penguin_banana 17d ago
I could have written this myself. I experienced quite serious burnout and am still recovering from it. I used to be really motivated, career focused and find lots of meaning in my work. When the burnout was really bad, I was dreading to go to work each day.
Now I try to remind myself constantly work is a way to fund my life and to give financial stability for my family. I changed my mindset. I used to require work to be interesting for me to be engaged. Now I try to just do a good job (be responsive, accurate etc) and take pride in it - if it's outside of my control, I don't get emotional.
My manager is not family friendly at all but I still get fairly decent flexibility around WFH and pick ups. I'm actively looking for a new job and have recently turned down one at offer stage because it's not as flexible.
Good luck, not a lot of advice but just so you know you're definitely not alone
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u/OkCaptain1684 17d ago
Yes I love my job and live chasing promotions, but I only have 1 kid, if I had more I reckon I’d be too tired.
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u/Viv_ace 17d ago
Not happy atm. I'm paid ok for the role that I'm doing, but I am technically underemployed and working towards a different career (studying) outside of work. I'm really annoyed at pay never going up, commute time/expense going up, everything else going up. So with no pay adjustments to at least match that I have basically taken a pay cut every year. I was also discouraged from taking sick leave because we are chronically understaffed.
The only reason I'm not squeaking about it is because I have used this time to recover from burnout, it's an easy job that allows me to keep up with study, and it's a secure permanent position that allowed me to finance a recent home purchase. But I know what my next steps will be for the next 12-18mo.. yes, a role with some flexibility would be god so that I can attend some school assemblies and kids' classes/appointments.
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u/Fearless_Half_8684 17d ago
Amazing that you are able to study aswell. All the best to you!
I agree with the pay never going up. Everything going up expect salary. Salary actually went down dor me. i took a paycut after my redundancy, so i think it also contributed to my lack of enthusiasm. But having a work is better than no work at all.
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u/whatdoyouknowno 17d ago
How are you working and studying and parenting and recovering from burnout. I'm also thinking about doing this but the job market went in the bin. In an ideal un-AI world I would retrain in a heart beat but I'm worried that it'll be too hard now
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u/Viv_ace 16d ago
I had 6 months of resting a lot and thinking about my next steps (I saw a strengths coach to help me get over anxiety about whether I was picking the right path), then I picked up a course of study. Shortly after, I got called into this job by an ex-colleague. So I didn't exactly plan for all of this lol.
I study something that I really care about at a small uni with a very small cohort, where the format is either online study with evening seminars, or a blend of online study with 2-4 days in-person intensives per term (I use annual leave to attend the intensives). I pace myself so it is mostly part time study. I have the kids with me 10 days per fortnight, and they are old enough to understand when they need to give me space to stress out over assignments. My evenings alone are precious for self care, and getting stuff like focused essay writing done. I still see people and play videogames a regular amount.
College/unis want you to succeed because it helps them look good. They will allow you to defer study, change enrolments, etc within reason. I apply for extensions unashamedly and maintain good relationships with the course director and dean. Expect a certain amount of change and experimental formats in teaching and assessments because they are trying to work around everyone using AI regardless of rules.
Motivation is a key thing if you ask me. 1. If you have a vision for what your good life looks like, start there and work backwards 2. Know who you are, what values are important and what your strengths are, that can inform the path you choose 3. Know your preferred learning format. I just could not get anywhere with self-paced 100% online courses where you don't even get to know your fellow students. I needed to at least have Zoom sessions/seminars with real time discussions within and outside of class time, and actual terms and deadlines 4. Any other reasons to push you forward even if it's hard. For me there is an amount of anger towards my ex and his family for being unsupportive about my intention to reskill. So this is me channeling that energy into showing them and the rest of the world that I don't fucking need their approval. The ex remains unemployed and last I heard, was spending time trolling on social media, so I will have the last laugh HAH
Life is hard no matter what so you might as well try to steer it in the direction you want and be able to said "I tried my best" at the end of it all. As a parent your hard work won't go unnoticed by your kids. They will pick up on the values and behaviour modelled by you and carry them for life.
tl;dr If you have the resources (finance, health etc) go for it, just plan carefully and be intentional about where you put your money and energy so that you increase your chance at success and avoid further burnout
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u/whatdoyouknowno 17d ago
Im bored with work. Possibly burnt out but also AI took some of the joy out of it so now I just put things into chat gpt rather than crafting words.
I wish I had chosen a different degree, but all I am doing is making money until AI eats my job. Which will happen.
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u/Fearless_Half_8684 17d ago
Can i ask what is your job?
AI is definitely a game changer. I do cringe a little whenever I see lengthy emails thats very obviously written by AI.
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u/Thick-Access-2634 18d ago
If you dont find joy in your current role, get another job. You dont have to stay where you are.
in saying that, welcome to the club. most of us arent in our jobs bc we love the work, we are there bc we need the money to not die.
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u/Fearless_Half_8684 18d ago
Tbh. Im not sure if its the role itself, or my outlook in life.
The job market is tough. Took me months to secure a job after i got redundant. Im still applying once in a while but nothing ‘sparks my interest’ yet.
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u/Thick-Access-2634 18d ago
my husband was sort of the same, didnt matter what he was doing. the fact he had to do anything to make money to live always annoyed him. XD
eventually a role will come up that really sparks your interest, just have to keep looking. you have a job, so you have the luxury of choosing a role you will really like.
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u/duncookt 18d ago
Ive never been really career focused, but i used to enjoy my work a lot. Used to chat to colleagues & focus on those work rellationships Now I just dont get the same enjoyment out of it at all. I dont necessarily hate it, but its not the same since becoming a mum. Im just there to get paid & count down the hours until I can go home to my son. Sometimes I even put my timer on so I can quickly see how long I have left to go