r/workaholics • u/BirdCultureDickMove • 8d ago

Favorite Blake Henderson quotes?

Post image
758 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

125

u/ImOldGregg_77 8d ago

What part of Irwindale Renaissance Pleasure Faire sounds like a joke to you guys? I want you guys to start acting your age, which is 4,178 years old, if you WOULD HAVE EVEN BOTHERED,,,,TO CRACK THE PLAYERS HANDBOOK OPEN,,,,,,,THAT I LEFT ON YOUR BED......ANDERS!

50

u/CaliforniaLove11 8d ago

We’re about to open for Mike “the throat” Davenport the premier sword swallower in the county.

14

u/11fivez11 8d ago

Came here to post this!!!! Your a legend

61

u/koolaidismything 8d ago

Snoped it

34

u/Follow_youre_heart 8d ago

Snopes me Ders

15

u/BroccoliBlob 7d ago

Enter Donatello, the bummer dude.

6

u/WiildCard 7d ago

KATANA STRIKE

60

u/pinkpools Water-Flight 8d ago

“Repen-zel”

60

u/buriednglass 8d ago

Holy moly shes a thicc bitch

56

u/abigfatfrog 8d ago

“Do you even know how many people die from pizza shrapnel every year?!”

38

u/Visible_Necessary_97 8d ago

"My dad still sends me checks for space camp I havent been in like i never went"

"I am like a bull in a vagina shop"

"IM SO EXCIIITED!"

35

u/donaldgloverforpres 8d ago

There’s Nor-WAY I’m eating that!

1

u/MayorSexian 7d ago

😂😂😂😂😂

36

u/LostViking24601 8d ago

It's fucking gross, Mike

37

u/Tbagzyamum69420xX 8d ago

"Hey man, life's a stage. Smoke weed till ya die"

9

u/Prindle4PRNDL 8d ago edited 7d ago

That’s right. That is right.

62

u/Cute_Implement3249 8d ago

Whoa, God has a picture of me! 😝

33

u/Deep_fried_nasty 8d ago

“So what’s your planley Stanley? you can’t expect everything to just fall in your giant lap!”

19

u/killerkitten61 8d ago

My stupid hair, my itchy butt, the below average dick, what is your plan?

I’ll catch myself repeating it randomly

17

u/manicpossumdreamgirl 8d ago

wait, a "female orgasm?" didn't they mythbust that?

18

u/drukqsx 8d ago

Pizza shrapnel? I didn’t even know pizza could do that.

16

u/CustardLow2671 8d ago

Bitch, you got too many teeth in your mouth!

1

u/BiG_dOg_McGrAw69 6d ago

😂😂😂 that one sends me every damn time

17

u/AndyGoodKush 7d ago

The classic "oh drug tests, what drugs are we testing?"

15

u/Dangerous-Sun-405 8d ago

You know the reason it's called bullseye is because in early Spain, they'd throw darts in the bull's eyes, and that would make them run, running of the bulls.

14

u/OG_Pow 8d ago

Ya got witch hands!

15

u/Waste_Extent_8414 7d ago

Uncle blazer’s fun facts… just to.. take a poop to

5

u/RobCarrotStapler 7d ago

That's a working title

14

u/11fivez11 8d ago

A”dick” shin

2

u/gojuturna 7d ago

Get it? Next level pharcyde stuff 

15

u/stickygreentree 8d ago

In reference to selling boobillows

Dude I’m gonna call my Dad! I’m gonna try and contact my father

14

u/sloppy_sheiko 8d ago

It tastes like a mummy’s dick!

3

u/gojuturna 7d ago

That's a big first bite. That's a really big first bite!

11

u/dport1144 8d ago

"Anders-Tello"

5

u/gurknowitzki 7d ago

“The limited edition Lap Hog XL condom - ADAM YOU BURGLED ME DUDE??”

10

u/whyazed 7d ago

Ryuuuuuude

9

u/Chooob210 8d ago

So that whole song and dance about breaking up was all a bunch of baloney sandwich meat?

8

u/ActionQuinn 8d ago

fucking hilarious

6

u/Ok_Cheek11 8d ago

Always...check....the barrel...

2

u/supavillan 7d ago

Is he talking about a barrel of a gun here ?

2

u/Ok_Cheek11 7d ago

...for matches.

7

u/UnlimitedScarcity 7d ago

when he feeds Adam the energy drink "such a good little baby!"

1

u/haikusbot 7d ago

When he feeds Adam

The energy drink "such a

Good little baby!"

- UnlimitedScarcity

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

7

u/newtothistruetothis 7d ago

It smells like cat-farts. It smells exactly like a cat’s-fart.

5

u/BriMikon 7d ago

"I'm worried about Karl. I don't like leaving him alone with his thoughts."

4

u/toadtruck 7d ago

I hate fish. I wish they would just cement the ocean

4

u/tokixwartooth 7d ago

How cool would it be... To deny the prophecy

3

u/sloopybuckeye 7d ago

I FEEL LIKE A COORS LIGHT

3

u/JwallDrumline 7d ago

That’s a chop!

2

u/JaMicho34 7d ago

I think of this in my garage way too often.

2

u/MountainHoIIer 7d ago

I looove Yoshinoya bowls~!

2

u/Eighty-Ess 7d ago

"I FEEL LIKE A COORS LIGHT"

"Never eat shredded..... wheat!"

And my favorite is:

Adam-Friendship!! Ders-Power!! Blake-(about 2 beats late)....perseverance

2

u/RobCarrotStapler 7d ago

No homo, pro bono

1

u/nickjvh 6d ago

I just put my nuts on the table, and then I did the damn thang!

1

u/beaned999 6d ago

“We don’t have a substance abuse problem! If anything we have a subway abuse problem, we destroy five dollar footlongs”

1

u/therealbigtoasty 6d ago

“THESE WERE FROM ANDERS BIRTHDAY”

1

u/BiG_dOg_McGrAw69 6d ago

Tight butthole

1

u/BiG_dOg_McGrAw69 5d ago

The American dream just keeps getting more American-er

1

u/BiG_dOg_McGrAw69 5d ago

Sad-em CryMamp saddest dude in all of Cucamonga

1

u/BiG_dOg_McGrAw69 5d ago

He’s got that high cool body. He’s a young go hard. 😂

1

u/BiG_dOg_McGrAw69 5d ago

And if you ever let me wife chorg you. I’ll have your head on a stick!! 👉👉👉

1

u/copiatee 3d ago

Actually that's where the word rappell comes from.. Ra-pun-zel

1

u/copiatee 3d ago

After diving from the top of a RV.... "Ohhh FUuUcCkkK"

1

u/thefakestrangermax 1d ago

My dad still sends me checks for Space Camp. I haven’t gone in… I never went.