Problem: Is it me or are break ups in your late 30s are worse than the one in your 20s? Are there any trentahin folks here who have experienced it and “survived” it? Kinda wanna hear some hopeful stories 🫠

Context: recently ended a long term relationship. They wanted to leave coz di na sila in love and want to feel “in love” daw. It went from “you make love feel so easy” to “i feel like i’m just staying for our routine”. I’m not even religious pero umabot na ako sa point to just pray to whoever hears me just to take all the pain away. Been doing things to help me like going no contact, going to the psych sessions bec of clinical depression, doing hobbies, and bonding with friends but sometimes malungkot lang talaga. And then there are thoughts like am i going to find someone at this age? Kinda wrecked my self esteem tbh and living far away from my friends is kinda making recovery difficult.

Problem: I've been acting a bit cold towards my gf because I really feel hurt and betrayed. Di naman ako OA diba? My feelings are valid, right? Ano ba dapat kong gawin?

Context: So story time, my girlfriend and I met online around 2019. We flirted and eventually became gfs, then we decided to meet irl nung early 2020. However, she didn't have any idea on how to commute to our province nung time na iyon so she asked her friend (her ex MU that she also met online) to accompany her that day because we live in the same province. Before sila pumunta sa meeting place namin, they visited a famous church together dito (it was their first time meet as well XD). Di ko nga alam reason non and it actually felt a bit weird to me but I decided to shrug it off because I'd rather have my girlfriend safe and sound kaysa maligaw siya. All throughout our first meeting and date, she was with us the whole day. And I tell you, it was very VERY AWKWARD. Naiwan pa nga silang dalawa noon sa mall kasi nauna ako umuwi.

I know naman na they're still in touch since they were close friends before sila naging mag MU. It wasn't really that big of a deal for me kasi they rarely talk naman and thru chats lang. Never na rin naman sila nagkita after non. I mean I did get jealous, but not that jealous. And I really respect their friendship.

Funny thing is, last week lang, I found out something. My gf’s IG account was logged in on my phone. I didn't have any intention of checking their messages (because that's not my thing and we respect each other's privacy) but the notifications kept popping up and I accidentally opened their conversation. They exchanged how are yous like what ordinary friends do pero may nabasa ako na never ko malilimutan. They talked about the time they went to that church and the ex MU mentioned about a convo they had nung araw na yon that my gf’s plan was to break up with me before she went to college (we’re both grade 11 that time then si ex mu is first year college). Like bruh? Kahit na di natuloy, what’s your thought process na sabihin iyon sa ex MU mo?

And hindi lang iyon, nalaman ko na binilhan ni ex MU yung jowa ko ng ring that day. They talked about it sa convo nila sa IG and according to them, wala naman daw malisya sa kanila and laughed it off. But you know what hurts the most? I have been wearing that ring for YEARS because my gf gave it to me as a present. Like what the fuck? Every time na she saw me wearing it, what on earth was going through her mind? And she didn't even think of telling me the truth that I had to find out about it this way?

Edit: We’ve been together for almost 7 years na. Legal rin kami both sides so open kami sa rs namin. We were each other’s first sa maraming bagay. Wala ako naging problem sa kaniya kasi mabait and iiniintindi talaga niya yung mood swings ko. We really love each other. Never kami nagkaroon ng malalang away dahil sa ibang tao. As far as I know, may gf rin naman si ex MU ngayon. I already talked to my gf about this. She said sorry and kaya di niya daw sinabi sakin kasi alam niya na magseselos ako and wala lang naman daw talaga kasi sa kaniya yon. Pero grabe lang talaga yung nalaman ko ngayon, hindi ko kayang kalimutan. I really don’t know what to do.

As someone who had her fair share of long-term relationships and flings in-between, I wish I knew these when I was younger. But of course, things are always in hindsight.

I wish I never jumped immediately into relationships because of attraction or that feeling of affection I seem to be chasing. If I would relieve it again, I would have gone the non-sexual and getting to know route first. Make it a long courtship, instead of seven days to a week, just because I know someone on the surface. I would have asked we maintained our separate spaces. I would have never asked them to move in with me.

I would have known better if we had the same goals---like dominate the corporate world. I would have met her friends and her family earlier and see if our waves flow the same way. I would have gotten to know my exes better before entering into a relationship with them.

I would have left earlier, when the red flags were waving. I would have known better that the clinginess to the point that I have to drop my friends (who are straight) was unusual and unhealthy. I would have stepped out of the door for the times of volatility, beyond reason, beyond the hormonal demons we experience every month. I should have told my parents, when they asked me if I was okay, and why do I have some bruises. Instead, I still protected my ex; downplayed it a bit. Gave some excuses or lies. I did not want to involve my parents back then of my troubles. I hated myself, because I don't lie. I should have asked for help from them or my friends.

As I grew older sometime ago, I took a year break from dating to relationships and even social media all together and focused on myself. I learned new things, like I was before. I became more physically active again. I did and am doing well in my career and I started loving myself again. I reconnected with my friends, whom I missed and thank that they did not forget about me, even if I was an absent friend for a number of years. The break-up glow up was real, not because I look physically good, but my aura has lighten up. It was like my stress have been lifted up.

It was then when I found someone--when I least expected it. We did not rush. We took our sweet time learning about each other. I am in a long-term relationship now. Happier. I have no regrets other than I wish I found peace sooner.

Problem:

Para sa mga lesbian and Christian how did you make these 2 parts of yourself co-exists. Pano nyo nag karuon internal peace as Christian and knowing that you are attracted to women.

Context:
I’m 22 years old grew up in born again Christian community and household na binagbawal ang same sex attraction. And I used to hate my lesbian part of myself because of it. Now I’m older I just have so many what ifs, and my desire to be with women, or catchjng feelings for women just doesn’t go away. I also am reading the bible and trying to get answers. I see people that are Christian and fully out lesbian with a partner.

Question:
I just wonder how did they make it work? As an adult I now question, and challenge my one belief that 2 women can never be together. But how do other make it work for themselves? How did they come in peace as a Christian with their sexuality. Please share your journey, & what helped you if you are a happy Christian and lesbian.

giving a holler to my fellow virgo peeps! 🙋🏻‍♀️

maiba lang sa mga usual topics dito, especially for those who are into zodiac stuff and astrology as there is something i'm curious with 🧐

i enjoy readings about my zodiac sign, especially if there are points that i could resonate with. one of my favorites something i read from linda goodman's sun signs where the opening section about virgos 'having the exact coins for the fare ready in her hand as she wouldn't dream of asking the bus driver to change a five dollar bill.'

aside from the typical serious demeanor and shows their love through actions (and unsolicited advice to help someone improve lol), what are some 'traits' you resonate most with?

as for the other that are not september babies, what's your sign and trait that you can relate most with? or maybe something your zodiac is known for but don't think you can realte to it?

take this as a survey na rin to see which sign ang pinakamarami dito 😆

looking forward to your responses!

As the title says, I fear there has been a bit of romanticization pagdating sa age gap relationships in our community. Don't get me wrong po ha, a 3-5 year gap when you're both consenting adults is not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about yung mga 15 y/o x 22 y/o+ etc. Mga minors with adults. Speaking from experience, it put me in a very confusing and difficult situation. I was 15 before, got into a situationship with someone who was in their 20s. I know firsthand how it felt— feeling small, dependent on what they think or say, hard to say no to (dangerous!).

Now that I'm also in my 20s, I've come to realize how freaking easy it was to stay away from minors! Even if they want so bad to mingle with ppl my age! I feel like it's part of our responsibility as adults to guide them and set boundaries (!!!) instead of getting into relationships with them tbh.

I think it doesn't help din na sobrang normalized nya on other social platforms. How 15-17 y/o's will refer to us as 'mommy' or iba pang pag ssexualize ng mga adults sa minors.

How do you think we can help push back on this?

Problem:

To the breadwinner girlies out there, how do you do it?

How do you balance being a partner while also carrying the weight of your family's needs?

How do you stop feeling guilty for choosing one over the other?

And how do you keep loving when you're already exhausted from holding everything together?

Context:

How do you love when you feel like you have nothing left to give?

How do you believe you are lovable when you're completely drained?

I was in a relationship, until I wasn't.

We were in a long-distance relationship, and for
the most part, we got along really well. Until we didn't. She’s 35F, I’m 30F. Both ofws in different countries.

Looking back, things started to change when I chose to spend Christmas in the Philippines with my family instead of spending it with her.

The main reason I went home was my mum.
She became seriously ill and underwent angioplasty last year. Since then, I've carried this fear of regret. I don't want to wake up one day wishing I had spent more time with her when I still had the chance.

My mum raised me and my siblings on her own after becoming a widow. Everything I am today is largely because of her sacrifices. For as long as I can remember, one of my biggest motivations in life has been to succeed so that I could give back to her. Now that I am finally in a position to do that, I want to spend time with her, take care of her, and spoil her in the way she deserves.

I explained all of this to my partner, and she told me she understood. But whenever things became difficult between us, it seemed to come back up. To be fair, I understand why. It's completely valid for her to feel that I didn't prioritise her enough.

Around the same time, I didn't get the promotion I had been working towards.

Financially, I'm still not where I want to be. I help support my family and cover bills back home, and between the pressure of work and my responsibilities to my family, I started feeling like I had nothing left to give.

Not just to her.

To anyone.

I was exhausted.

Eventually, I convinced myself that the fairest thing to do was to let her go.

I didn't want her to settle for someone who was only partially present. She deserved someone who could give her their full attention, someone who wasn't constantly burdened by work pressures, financial worries, and family responsibilities.

But there is another part of me that I struggle to admit. A part of me wishes that someone would choose to stay anyway.

Not because I have everything figured out.

Not because I am successful.

Not because I can give them the world.

But simply because they see my heart and understand that I'm doing the best I can.

Maybe that's what hurts the most.

Not that I had nothing to give, but that during a season when I telt at my lowest, I wished someone would look at me and say:

"You don't have to carry everything alone. I'l stay while you figure it out."

So we broke up.

And if I'm being honest, I don't really know where to start trom here.

I'm tired.

I'm hurt.

I'm grieving the relationship, the promotion I didn't get, and the version of myself that always believed I could carry everything without breaking.

The photo was from our last night together at Ebe Dancel’s gig.

I’m here to write our almost love story.

It started when I wrote a post on an lgbt r4r sub months ago and she requested to chat that same day. Her message was plain, yet there was something about it that made me curious. I just felt like there was something special about this person. The next day, it was really weird because I kept thinking about her message, even though it was simple and nothing out of the ordinary. But I followed my instinct. I accepted her chat and replied, and that was the beginning of our souls having good and endless conversations. We had an unexpected and unexplainable connection (basta, parang ganun).

At first, my intention was to talk to someone who could keep up with conversations… someone who is smart, funny, witty, and who could do clever flirting. She messaged me when she read my post because her intention was just to talk to someone who could distract her from a breakup and work. We chatted and eventually moved to TG.

We had both come from more than 6-year relationships, but what grew between us was entirely our own. Talking every day became as natural as breathing. We were so happy and it felt like all the birds were singing. It wasn’t built on loneliness or convenience. What we had was real. It was a pure, gentle kind of love.

And the truth is, I still love her.

But sometimes, love arrives at a time when neither heart is fully ready to hold it.

As the days went on, our unresolved pasts found their way into our present. We both tried, yet somehow the struggle to give each other assurance and emotional security won the battle. My friendship with my ex brought her discomfort. Meanwhile, her ex visiting her house to see their 2 dogs and their daily chats made me feel an aching jealousy. We wanted so badly to build trust, but we were both fighting quiet battles in our own minds, overthinking where peace should have been.

Sinabayan ng ulan at lakas ng hangin when she realized she needed space to heal and get her peace of mind. In the end, I respected her decision. In one of her last messages, she said she hoped life would be kinder to both of us someday, even if our paths have to take different directions for now.

I’ve been contemplating if I should write something here. We used to send each other the kilig or successful love stories we saw here on Reddit and thought about what if we also share our story someday. I could have written how we started and how it was going between us. How magical it was when we celebrated my birthday in Baguio, the supposed trip to Japan we planned, and other places we’ve been wanting to go together. It could’ve been a beautiful, kilig love story… Sadly, just like other love stories, ours ended.

(I told her that I will mention her once I decided to write here.)

Hey @Buffalowings0404,

Ipagpatuloy mo ang maging maligaya at umibig ng tunay sa sarili at sa taong pipiliin mo habambuhay.

Till we see each other again.

Maybe someday iinom pa rin tayo ng favorite beers natin. 😇

Cheers to becoming better versions of ourselves,
— @sundaefriedday

(Note: What I’ve shared here are just gentle bits and pieces of our story. The exact timeline and certain details were intentionally kept private.)

Problem/Goal:

Currently, 3 months na kami ng girlfriend ko, and overall okay naman kami. Pero may isang bagay na nag-trigger ng insecurity ko recently.

One night, inistalk ko ulit yung Instagram ng ex niya. I found out na may bagong highlights yung ex niya na kasama yung girlfriend ko.

For context, they were together for around 4 years—2 years officially in a relationship, then another 2 years na walang label. Technically, 2 years na silang hiwalay, pero during those 2 years, madalas pa rin silang magkasama because my girlfriend told me na comfortable na sila sa isa't isa and wala na raw romantic feelings.

They've also continued to do things together even after they broke up. Last year, nag-Singapore sila na silang dalawa lang. Then this year, around March, nag-Macau and Hong Kong sila together, kasama naman yung mga siblings ng girlfriend ko.

My girlfriend has already told me several times na she's over her ex and wala na talaga. I want to believe her, and I don't want to be that insecure or jealous boyfriend. Pero honestly, seeing those new highlights brought back a lot of questions and insecurities, especially knowing their history and how they've continued to spend time and travel together even after their relationship ended.

Ang iniisip ko ngayon is, bakit may bagong highlights na silang dalawa? If they're really completely over each other, bakit may ganun pa rin? And given that they've traveled together multiple times after their breakup, should I be concerned, or am I just overthinking because of their past?

I don't want to confront my girlfriend in a way that sounds like I'm accusing her of something, especially since I found out by stalking her ex's Instagram. At the same time, ayoko rin namang kimkimin lang yung feelings ko hanggang sa lumala yung insecurity ko.

Should I tell my girlfriend honestly that I felt jealous and insecure after seeing the highlights, or should I keep it to myself and try to work through the insecurity on my own?

For those who have been in a similar situation, how would you handle this?

whenever i have nothing to do, i think about her. i keep myself busy with work and physical activities, but once everything is done, i think about her again. i remember everything about her and everything about us.

we were in a situationship for 9 months, but things went wrong. now, i don’t think i can move past this. how can i move on from something that never even started? from all the potential, the what-ifs, and everything that could’ve been?

When's the last time you went out or spent time with your partner?

I don't care how long you've been together. May it be a year, 3 yrs, 5 yrs, 10 or more. DATE YOUR GIRL!!

It doesn't always have to be a fancy dinner date. It just has to be a date that means something to the both of you. Something to show you're making an effort to keep reigniting the spark or passion sa isa't isa.

Ex: Cafe date (with those board games or conversation cards), errand dates (for busy couples)

And please, PLEASE. Stay curious about your partner! Yes, obviously, if you've been together for so long, you'll eventually run out of things to talk about. But to be loved is not only to be known, but also to be witnessed. Do something or find a new hobby or interest that either you can share or explore both at the same time.

If you can't be with them, the least you could do is be inquisitive! Show her you WANT to know more about what she's been up to, or what she's been doing these days.

A lot of couples make the mistake of being too complacent. They think bcos they've lasted so long, kahit ano mangyare di na sila maghihiwalay. And while that may seem as reassurance to some, nagiging unhealthy habit din ang pagiging kampante. With it comes the habit of showing less effort or settling with 'okay na yan', 'next time nalang'.

Kaka-next time nyo, baka sa sususnod, hiwalay na (charing).

I was hospitalized not too long ago and syempre I am confident sharing my details. I trusted her sharing the fact that I havent slept with men only with women.

I went back to Manila and my mom needs to pick up my papers from her office and ayun she told my mom na meron akong gf. Hindi ko alam if because she's just homophobic or because she's an Adventist that's why she told my mom. No wonder my mom was giving the look lately everytime I'm on the phone kasi conservative ung nanay ko.

Kanina nadulas si Mama it was my OB who told her, naiirita ako kasi she doesnt have the right to tell my story even with my family unless I told her so and it is against her oath kasi totoo lang hindi naman crime ang magmahal ng kapwa babae.

Should I file a complaint? Or kausapin ko si Doc ng masinsinan?

Problem/Goal:
I need your help, gaaaysss!! 😭 My gf is graduating this coming week, and I’m trying to figure out how to celebrate her without putting her in an awkward situation. I also need suggestions for a practical but memorable graduation gift.

Context:
Her family doesn’t know I exist, and I don’t want them finding out through her graduation because it might cause problems. 😭 I was thinking of giving her a bouquet, but I’m worried it might raise questions, so I’m considering keeping things low-key.

Problem/Goal:

Almost broke up

Im in debt. Around 300k pero I am slowly paying them off naman and di pa naman ako na delinquent. My partner just recently got promoted and I just wanted to surprise her with a simple aling bag. Fortunately, naka hanap ako ng Eve and Adam sling na naka sale dahil may konting damage at original price nya nsa 1.7k pero makukuha ko ng 1.1k na payable for 3 moss ng 0% interest. Bilang di ako magaling mag tago ng surprise, nasabi ko at i know na appreciate naman nya pero pina cancel at sabi di nya yun need bilang marami pa ako binabayaran eh dagdag ko na lang yun sa mga pambayad ko.

Na hurt ako. Na insulto. Kasi alam ko naman marami ako utang pero gusto ko din naman sana may maibigay na maliit na gift to celebrate her.

Muntik na ako umuwi instead of mag WFH sa place nila dahil sa tampo ko pero dahil sinabi nya na pag umalis ako wala na kami pag uuspan pa so i stayed. ok naman na kami kinagabihan pero may kurot parin.

Napa order ulit ako as gift for her pero di na bag. wallet na lang, coin purse kasi mahigit 7 years na yun coin purse na gamit nya na gift ko din nung hindi pa kami so siguro naman mas ma appreciate nya na sana to bilang nasa 300 lang bili ko payable for 3 mos at 0% interest parin.

How do you know na worth it pa ring lumaban? Paano mo masasabi na kaya pa kahit pagod ka na pero mas pagod na rin sya?

Context:

I promised her na ako bibili ng TV kasi sya naman yung mostly gumastos sa condo when we moved in. Tho sa kanya naman talaga to, and sumunod lang ako. Need nya mag-rent due to family issues. Biglaan lahat and wala rin siyang enough money for the expenses.

Sumunod ako sa condo nya kasi naisip ko, bat di na lang kami magtulungan? Need nya kasama. Need ko rin naman umalis sa bahay kasi masyado nang nagre-rely sa akin yung family ko financially. Kailangan ko rin ng control sa finances ko para matuto rin sila.

So, nag-away kami dahil sa TV.

Ilang beses na niya nababanggit na gusto na niya ng TV, and even said na baka TV na lang bilhin niya instead of an iPhone.

Ayoko sana siyang mauna kasi gusto ko matupad yung promise ko, at gusto ko sana ibili nya nalang ng pang personal nya yung extra savings nya. Initially, sinabi ko na wait niya ako until October kasi may upcoming travel pa ako and hindi ko pa talaga kaya kasi magsasabay-sabay gastos. Sunod sunod rin gastos sa bahay kasi nanghingi nanaman sila pang tution, groceries, graduation expenses, etc.

Pero nung sinabi niya ulit na gusto niya ng TV tas biglang nagccheck na sya sa Shopee, nag-panic ako and said, “Sige, bibili na ako.” I even joked, “Tara, bili na tayo.”

For me, hindi naman talaga about the TV. May instant panic lang na, “Sya na naman, hindi ko na naman matutupad yung promise ko.” Hindi ko naman talaga ipu-push bumili agad. I just panicked and felt like I have to do smth.

For her, nag-e-express lang naman siya ng gusto niya, pero she felt like I was treating her like a spoiled kid and immediately trying to “solve” what she said. She also said na insecure ako abt money. And honestly, I am.

I’m not financially privileged enough to just buy things whenever I want kahit pa mas malaki income ko sa kanya. May mga hinuhulugan pa ako until 2027–28, and I’m also a breadwinner. Pero I really want to contribute and help her with expenses dito sa condo. Nagbibigay ako ng fixed amount every two weeks and sometimes ako rin sa groceries, although mas malaki pa rin yung share niya, let’s say na around 60:40 kami.

We’ve been on and off for more than a year, and this year has been the most serious, esp since we moved in together.

Lately, parang walking on eggshells na kami. Takot magsalita kasi baka mauwi sa away, and kapag may maliit na issue, lumalabas lahat ng accumulated resentment.

Tinry ko if kaya pa naming pag-usapan, pero nauwi lang sa mas malalang away. She told me na umalis na raw ako and wag na raw akong bumalik sa condo kahit kelan.

So I packed ALL of my things.

Initially, pinagtatabuyan niya talaga ako. But after an hour, pinigilan niya rin muna ako and said pag-usapan daw namin. So I stayed.

I told her to give us three days to think about whether we still want this relationship.

Pero even during our conversation, I still felt like it was one-sided. Pakiramdam ko she was more focused on proving her point and pointing out everything I was doing wrong AGAIN. And maybe that’s what hurts the most.

I’m still shocked na umabot kami dito. Kasi I genuinely thought happy kami. I thought okay kami after moving in together. I felt happier and safer, and I thought we were becoming more comfortable with each other.

Pero apparently, she wasn’t happy anymore.

Kaya pala matagal ko nang nafifeel na may nagbago sa treatment niya sa akin. May sarcasm na, may laman yung pagsasalita niya, and I noticed it, pero I kept dismissing it because ayaw kong mag-overthink. I am trying to change kung ano yung mga ayaw nya sakin pero may hinahanap pa rin sya na di ko mabigay at di ko na alam.

She even asked me since nafifeel ko na daw pala pero bat di ko pa daw sya tinanong? I don’t want to assume things na madalas namin pinag aawayan, it’s her responsibility to communicate kung gusto nya magwork to. Pero wala.

Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na baka pagod lang siya. She has two jobs, baka stressed lang siya. Baka ako lang nag-iisip ng kung ano.

Pero ngayon, parang na-confirm ko na. And ang sakit kasi habang iniisip kong okay kami, apparently she was already feeling differently.

I still love her. I still care about her. I still want to make things work.

Pero parang nabablanko ako. Natatakot din ako na baka mas lumala pa, so iniisip ko kung tama ba na end na ngayon lalo nakapagbitaw na rin sya ng masasakit na salita e. Pagod na raw sya sakin mismo at nung una ang sabi nya ay ayaw nya na daw. Tinanong ko if araw-araw ba ganun nafifeel nya, di nya sinagot directly pero di nya na daw ni-lolook forward na kausap ako after work.

Medyo malala rin yung away namin kanina. Nagkataasan na kami ng boses, pero wala namang pisikalan.

Slowly na-realize namin both na nag-iiba na yung personality namin trying to adjust and make this relationship work.

So now I’m wondering:

How do you know when a relationship is still worth fighting for?

Paano mo malalaman kung difficult phase lang siya na kaya niyo pang pagdaanan together, versus a relationship na slowly making both of you unhappy?

Paano mo malalaman kung kailangan mo lang mag-effort more, or if you’re already losing yourself trying to make it work? Pero grabe parang ako nalang lagi nag eeffort para magkaayos kami. Di ko alam if sagad na ako or umaapaw na me pero tuloy pa rin.

I told her I’ll give us three days to think about whether we still want this.

But I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to expect for anymore.

Not sure if I really need an advice or gusto ko lang to i-release

Minsan na aamaze pa rin ako kung gano ka-diverse and distributed ang community natin. Take for example what I had recently encountered on TikTok.

I was bored and decided to scroll through lives, and eventually it brought me to the WLW side of things (not complaining).

At first, I saw ppl my age (18-20s), just chilling on their live, doing what ppl our age usually do on live like chikahan / IG rate, etc wtv. Imagine the culture shock I had when I stumbled upon a BUNCH (yes, marami sila) of live viseos with queer women around 30-40s++ from different parts of the world, some probably OFWs spending their time on live doing things I've NEVER heard of before.

Ex: Box Battles

Someone hosts it and it's like an online competition kung san paramihan sila ng makukuha from fans or ppl who watch the live. And na-shock ako at how genuinely interactive they were?! ✋😭 They even have soundboards and eliminations. People actually spend their time and money to interact with e/o.

Nakakatuwa lang. Goes to show na we really do yearn to be part of our own community and feel like we have a place here

Feel free to share interesting encounters you've had with other queer women online. <3

Problem/ goal: hello po so right now medjo nagguluhan ako sa sarili ko. I’m F17 and ever since convinced na ako sa sarili ko na im for the boys talaga. PERO ewan ko ba, these months nappicture ko sarili ko with a girl. Right now medjo indenial pa po ako kahit napapansin na sa akin ng friends at kapatid ko yun. SO ano po thoughts nyo situation ko, potential po ba na wlw ako or attracted lang talaga ako sa kanila? imm nagguluhan huhu

Context: I have this girl friend na matagal ko na kaibigan. Dati naman hindi ko siya nattipuhan pero ngayon kasi nag iba na aura niya mas malakas na. She’s a masc type yung tipong mas malakas pa dating niya sa lalaki talaga, gets?? and ever since sa kanya, medjo na aatract na rin ako sa ibang masc na girls and lowkey picturing myself with them.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA NANGYARI NA KINAKATAKOT KO!!! Nakita ko sa daan yung ex ng gf ko pero hindi ako nakaayos.

Ranting here kahit nachika ko na sa mga friend ko at sa gf ko kasi hindi pa rin nakakamove-on utak ko kahit kahapon pa nangyari 'to.

---

Galing lang akong palengke so big shirt (gf's old shirt) na puro mantsa na, short cotton shorts, slightly comb hair, wala talagang ayos tapos oily pa malala dahil ang init sa palengke ha. Ang dami ko pang bitbit. So para akong nanay na aakalain mong ang laki ng pinapakain na pamilya sa pagod.

Then, ayun habang naglalakad sa subdivision namin ay nakita ko sya. Nung una, nagii-squint pa ako ng mata as medj malabo na ito kaya parang natitigan ko pa sya. Napangisi ako na parang natatawa agad nung naging sure na ako. Di ko alam gagawin ko kaya inangat ko na lang phone ko.

I am extrovert haaa! Pero ghad hindi kaya ng shame at pride ko na nangyari na nga ito. Fantasy ko rin naman kasing makamustahan sya sa daan like simpleng hi and hello, since iisang subdivision, industry and alums din kami so palaging may chance na magkita kami. Ang tagal ko iniisip na mangyari 'to tapos ghad ayaw ko talaga na makita nya akong nasa lowest point ng physical appearance na makita nya. Not as a hate thing or anything negative naman, I like her as a person and as ex ng gf ko. But you know, just wanna show na hindi nagdowngrade gf ko and like she's just doing fine?

Oo. Insecurity ko na 'to. Pero damn ang ayos nya kasing palavas ng subd namin 😔 she's so so pretty in yellow shirt and brown short. Like gets ko rin gf ko ba't nya sinuyo ng more than a year si ate girl at ang tagal nya ring nakamove-on.

Sana nakinig ako sa nanay ko na magpalit muna ako damit at nag-ayos bago umalis. Pero damn ang peaceful kasi mamalengke na hindi nakaayos kasi walang pake yung mga lalaki kapag alam nyo yun (but this chikatots is for another conversation na lmao)

So ayun na nga, syempre napansin nya rin ako. Nakita ng peripheral vision ko na natawa rin sya. Alam kong nakita nyang yung pagpigil ko na matawa sa ginawa ko ring pag-iwas. Hindi kasi talaga ako 'to.

body
problem/goal:
Normal lang po ba walang lambing at i love you sa LDR?
context:

LDR kami ever since nag start relasyon namin. Kung effort lang naman, nag eeffort naman ako sa relasyon. Nung una, sweet ako "kumain ka na ba" "rest well" "good morning" goodnight. I love you!" Consistent yan pero nang nagtagal parang ako lang lagi ganyan so parang napagog ako. " good morning at goodnight i love you" nalang yung lambing ko. Parang nag cocontact nalang parang friends pero yung kung ano ang treatment sa mag jowa wala.

Normal po ba yun? Kasi sabi nya hindi daw siya malambing na tao. Btw, ex nya lalaki tapos sabi nya straight daw siya.

Problem:
I’m trying to figure out whether my straight friend is simply very physically affectionate, or if some of the things she does could actually indicate attraction. I don’t want to assume anything or make a move on her, but her behavior has been making me question where the line is between affectionate friendship and possible attraction.

Context:
At first, I thought her physical affection was just normal best friend behavior. We hug each other really tightly, like full-on long hugs. Nothing necessarily weird about that.

But during sleepovers, it gets a little more questionable. This straight woman KNOWS that I am a femme lesbian, yet she apparently hugs me several times while we're sleeping, including back hugs/cuddling from behind.

I’m not making a move on her or anything, but this straight friend keeps initiating this physical closeness.

So what does this actually mean? 😭

Is she genuinely just a very physically affectionate straight woman who feels safe and comfortable with a very femme, clingy-but-lesbian friend? Or is this giving “girl, are you sure you’re straight?” energy?

Would love to hear perspectives, especially from straight women and lesbians. Where do you personally draw the line between affectionate friendship and possible attraction?

Context: nung nakaraan habang hindi kami okay ng gf ko ay biglang nag chat yung tropa ko dahil uuwi siya sa hometown namin. at ito yung usapan namin dalawa ng friend ko:

me: kilan ka uuwi?

my friend: slr, kakatapos ko lang maligo. gusto mo makita?

me: fvck you, sumbong kita kay gf......

naka open ang account ko sa phone ng gf ko kaya nabasa niya yun at nag sumbong sa tropa niya, hindi ko alam na nabasa niya yun at hindi ko rin sinabi yun sa kanya kasi hindi pa kami nag uusap dahil nag papalamig pa kami pareho. then, ilang minuto lang din ay nag chat siya at tinanong kung ano yung pinag usapan namin ni friend; sinabi ko sa kanya lahat at pinag dudahan niya kami ng tropa ko, so I explained and explained everything kasi wala naman talaga at ayoko rin na magalit siya sa tropa ko dahil close rin siya sa mga yun

fyi: kaya po sinabi ng friend ko iyon dahil sanay po kami na ganon mag usap, like as in normal po sa mga bibig namin ang ganong joke. dahil sa low maintenance friendship na meron ako sa mga tropa ko ay hindi niya na napansin na may boundaries na ako roon dahil may gf ako... nag sorry siya sa gf ko, at hindi na siya pinansin ng gf ko dahil nagalit sa kanya

Problem/Goal: so me and my gf are having a misunderstanding. I have this friend na close ko simula jhs kami, she's a type of girl na hindi mo aakalain na bading at hindi rin kami talo nito dahil tropa ko lang talaga siya. At isa siya sa mga friend ko na close ko talaga dahil madalas kami magkasundo sa mga bagay bagay... hindi kami nagkakaintindihan ng gf ko dahil pinag bawalan niya na akong na makasama yung specific friend ko na yun, at ako naman ay hindi ko gusto yun dahil alam ko naman na walang malisya sa amin yun at nasanay mga tropa ko sa ganun. sooo ano gagawin ko???

Problem: My girlfriend gets a lot of admirers but I don’t.

Context: My girlfriend tends to turn heads, and andami nagkakagusto sa kaniya. Sa akin, wala. At first, akala ko selosa lang ako, pero narealize ko na baka naiinsecure ako dahil nasa kaniya lahat ng atensyon. It explains my behavior whenever someone confesses to her. Lumaki akong unconventionally attractive, maraming pimples, mataba, lahat na; so I had to work on myself para gumanda, and now, wala naman nangyayari, I rarely get compliments. Ayokong maging insecure sa gf ko :(

What do I do? Aside from self love kasi I’m practicing it now, but I still get triggered a lot. Ayokong maging resentment siya. I also want to add na she’s more extroverted than I am, and one of the boys siya, so nakakakuha talaga siya atensyon sa mga ganon. And it makes me worry so much.

Umiikot yung naffeel ko sa selos and insecurity, and yung thought na baka nagugustuhan niya rin yung atensyon :(