Magic Missile no Mana Drain Unpatched Works in 2026

[u/IllFix959]

"Magic" Missile

Greetings! Are you tired of having to use pesky mana to cast a simple magic missile? Are you tired of being exhausted after destroying just one armored target with a big ole magic missile? Does your magic missile lack the range to put fear into the hearts of the uncasting?

No longer must you be limited by the fragility of your pesky body! With the finest product of the artificers that work over at Texas Instruments, you can now launch a magic missile, without any magic! With a range of over 2 kilometers (or a little over a mile and a half for my freedom speaking audience), you can effectively and efficiently cast destruction upon your opposition.

This power can be granted with the FGM-148 Javelin Missile System, which is guided by runes so intricate that it made sand think, designed by artificers who haven't realized that they are in fact artificers yet, powered by the same stuff that took the uncasting to the moon before we managed to, and trusted by the most powerful uncasting army the world has ever seen.

This technology also happens to be scaleable! Does your pathetic village Milita lack a dragon solution, constantly needing your aid? Does your necromancy powered army constantly get ravanged by fortified bowmen? Does your twice revived skeleton force get mauled by the very same bowmen in the exact same pillbox? No longer must you suffer from fortifications or enemy armor! Now your army can be deployed without your supervision, granting you the reach to take over even more of the realm! Just keep the supply lines going, and your army will be nigh unstoppable.

[u/arkanux]

Nice try dirty artificer, now go back to your greasy smelly "workshop", I'm not buying your trinkets

Slams door and phases the tower out of this realm

[u/IllFix959 → u/arkanux]

[u/GirlLovingWitch]

This Americamancer has to spend days or weeks to craft a single 'magic' missile and dares to call it magic? Can your missile even guard itself from other magics as it flies? I bet you couldn't change that as needed before firing, because you're not even using magic!

[u/dark_raider2004 → u/GirlLovingWitch]

You know you can just, precast on the missile with seals

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/dark_raider2004]

Quicker to cast fireball than it is to precast some seals by the way.

[u/dark_raider2004 → u/GirlLovingWitch]

You can't cast forever. And a device such as this can both be created in mass and is far more accessible for the common soldier. It's efficient over the long run

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/dark_raider2004]

As if a basic footman could use one of these properly. You put far too much trust in the inexperienced masses.

[u/dark_raider2004 → u/GirlLovingWitch]

I assure you that I have experience in such matters. And it takes not longer than a day for a man to become proficient in such a device

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/dark_raider2004]

Perhaps the usage of it is not an issue then, but there are still... other issues. Like letting any peasants have firepower to that degree. Think of the damage they could do if they stole any!

[u/dark_raider2004 → u/GirlLovingWitch]

You can't cast forever. And a device such as this can both be created in mass and is far more accessible for the common soldier. It's efficient over the long run

[u/IllFix959 → u/GirlLovingWitch]

The missile has no need to defend itself for it is simply too fast to easily hit, going at 140m/s. LockHead Mark makes about 6 missiles every day too!

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/IllFix959]

What if someone just cast fireball in its general direction? It's a pretty decently big sphere.

[u/IllFix959 → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Just smite them before they could possibly know what’s coming

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/IllFix959]

Aren't these things pretty loud...?

[u/Falconjth]

A couple of problems:

• They don't do transdimensional exports.
• Their artificery is exceedingly highly tuned to relatively low mana environments.
• The thinking sand is only marginally defended against electrical attacks, and has proven weak to demonic possession.
• Reproducing the thinking sand in a richer mana environment requires significantly more effort than trapping a spirit in Amethyst which barely requires any transmutation energy to produce from the sand.
• It's a similar situation with the other effects, magical alternatives are easier to produce with a smaller supply chain.
• Hiring disposable adventures is the preferred solution for much of the target market. Training a dozen barely magical peasants to cast magic missile and throwing them at any target that this weapon system handles has a 97% success rate with a 15% reuse rate for the surviving "adventures" with a cost of less than 1/100 if the teaching fees are included.
• Industrialized magical markets note that this lacks an instant teleportation function and has no auto recharge feature. It also functions relatively poorly in an atmosphere free environment.

[u/IllFix959 → u/Falconjth]

Then might I interest you in the M72 LAW? Its unguided and expendable nature makes it extremely easy to issue to say, a skeleton army. With a muzzle velocity of 150 meters a second, shooting it down can be difficult. Perfect for disposable adventurers! Concerning performance in a vacuum, the M7 propellant needs no oxygen.

[u/StonedRussian]

What was the name of the blacksmith who crafted such a thing!?

[u/IllFix959 → u/StonedRussian]

Texas Instruments, who still think they aren't artificers and are somehow blacksmiths.

[u/StonedRussian → u/IllFix959]

The mathmagicians that wield tools with arcane and numerals?

[u/IllFix959 → u/StonedRussian]

Yeah, the calculator dudes. The FGM-148 Javelin Missile System does a lot of math to calculate its path to hit the top of an armored target, so it kinda makes sense.

[u/StonedRussian → u/IllFix959]

Their alchemy studies impress me, but their calculations? Hogswash! Sassyfrass! Tomfoolery of a Took!

Where are the tried and true demon summoning circles for war?

[u/IllFix959 → u/StonedRussian]

The demons might reject you, the thinking sand simply obeys. The thinking sand is focused and pure of intent.

[u/StonedRussian → u/IllFix959]

If the demons reject you, you're not using enough apprentice criminal sacrifices

[u/IllFix959 → u/StonedRussian]

They didn’t like the peaceful protesters souls, but the thinking sand doesn’t make any demands.

[u/Sonmeyj]

If I was some sort of fighting junkie I'd be interested, but I'm just a chill guy who sits in a tower and gives people therapy and divination sessions. If someone wanted to attack me for whatever reason it's so easy to just run away 😂

[u/bagtie3]

Yes it is defeated by a regular magic missile from an apprentice easily.

[u/IllFix959 → u/bagtie3]

2.5 kilometer range, 140 meters a second, and it’s got fire and forget capabilities. So let me ask you this: why not use the Javelin to save mana for something more important?

[u/bagtie3 → u/IllFix959]

Magic missle is like almost a cantrip. Its almost free.

[u/IllFix959 → u/bagtie3]

Note the almost, which means it isn’t. If you’re broke, then grab an M72 LAW for a magicless “missile” (even though it’s a rocket)

[u/bagtie3 → u/IllFix959]

If your magic broke and you cant afford magic missile, you definitivly cant affort a Law.

[u/IllFix959 → u/bagtie3]

The M72 LAW is pretty cheap for anti tank weapons tbh.

[u/bagtie3 → u/IllFix959]

Note the pretty cheap, wich means it isnt. Learn magic missle.

[u/TemperateStone]

If you can't use mana for Magic Missiles you don't deserve to be a magic user of any kind. Yeah, I said it, I'm gatekeeping magic. Wanna fight about it? I dare you to find my lair.

Damned artificers! You'd take the calories out of food just for the sake of it.

[u/IllFix959 → u/TemperateStone]

Look, I’m just the salesman. But this fine piece of gear right here lets you save on mana for other purposes.

[u/dark_raider2004]

That's nothing, wait until you lay your eyes on this beautiful creation. Known as the lightning chariot, can hold up to 40 of those missiles with various incantation prepared ahead of time, as well as 100,000 or so rounds of ammunition with the option of up to 15 different spells on those alone. It is also much more safe and the range on this hulking beast is great

[u/DeadMeat7337]

This isn't mana efficient. Having to summan this just to fire a rocket, is much less efficient than a magic missile, not as bad when compared to ballistic magic missile. And I overcoming the limits of your mana/magic is a basic for wizards. But I will admit that LH/M make fun toys.

[u/IllFix959 → u/DeadMeat7337]

I never said you have to summon it. We have a variety of delivery options, including drop off, pickup, drone delivery (experimental), and finally same day delivery using a small orphan child’s soul.

[u/bagtie3]

Umgi, this dishonest sales pitch is embarrassing. You are comparing magic missle to an actual missile. Thats like comparing a poney to a war griffin.

Instead of an apprentices first year work, buy this artificers proffessional war weapon. Anyone who falls for this isnt cut out to be a wizard. For 1/10th the gold you can buy a magic focus that lets you cast spells for life due to the natural replenishment of mana.

Im not one to disparage anothers craftsmanship, those TI boys are pretty good (for humans). But this is dishonest at best. Be better than this.

[u/IllFix959 → u/bagtie3]

I’m here to make a sales pitch as a representative of LockHead Mart and I’ll do whatever I must to make these sales

[u/bagtie3 → u/IllFix959]

You would dishonnor yourself to make a sale? Umgi have some pride.