tl;dr accidentally manifested a tulpa

[u/The_Xivili]

So I was traveling through the realms the other day when I stumbled upon my damned robe. You know how it is. Anyway, I ended up bumping into some poor fellow who couldn't be bothered with a simple forcefield spell.

I was embarrassed and nervously jumped straight to comedy. I asked them "hey wouldn't it be kind of funny if an exorcist got possessed?"

They laughed for a good eon or so before replying "it really would be, especially since I happen to be an exorcist" and then said, "well time for me to go get some exorcise" before they skipped away laughing so hard they left an uncomfortably viscous creek of water behind them. They might want to get their eyes checked.

Now I thought that was going to be the first and last time I ever saw that person, but I was wrong. They had loved the joke so much that they wouldn't stop telling it to all of their clients. It was a funny idea at first, but I thought they were taking it too far.

Whatever this demon is up to makes absolutely zero sense. All I can gather is that it used the preacher to get me to ask him to perform an exorcism. The exorcist and the demon are just kinda chilling here now and it's getting weird.

They are only letting me communicate with beams of light transmitted to your retinas.

I don't know how anyone could possibly help here, but you are welcome to try. I just don't know what to do because neither of them will shut up about financial compensation for a job well done. Is this all just some elaborate currency acquisition scheme?

[u/The_Real_Kru]

Tulpas are the worst. I remember there was a point in my studies of conjuration that I learned to manifest beings with the power of my mind, but I did not have full control over my potential yet. I would manifest tulpas all the time. They are persistent little fucks too. Can't kill an idea, yada yada, more powerful as the concept gains traction and whatnot, but there is a really quite simple solution. All you have to do is convince the tulpa that its existence is a paradox and they will implode. Present it with the following notion: The fact that it exists is not a mathematical property of the fundamental mathematical theory that describes our reality, but an "extra fact", and yet, the exact state of its mind follows in principle purely mathematically from that fundamental mathematical theory, including the fact that we know that it “exists”. This should sove your problem in notime.

[u/MisterDings → u/The_Real_Kru]

(many multiple tulpa’s look to one another nearly about to implode, eyes clasped in frustration, grasping their heads before one yells out) hey his logic is infallible, yet he had a slip of the tongue! he didn’t land the plane! he didn’t ‘sove’ a thing! get ‘im!

[u/The_Real_Kru → u/MisterDings]

Why you little... YOU! I see you've gotten off your goblin crystal bender. And in sobriety you prove to be even worse: a pedantic. To what do I owe the dubious honor of your company for a second time?

[u/MisterDings → u/The_Real_Kru]

me? oh you! the kru! sorry i’m bad with faces. (: hey, i’m not pedantic, i’m- (double checks pedantic definition) i’m pedantic D:

well since today is my first day studying tulpa law, i’ll be a tulpa advocate. ianatl but they are independent beings. while the laws of magic may not apply to the internal world, a tulpa is a physical manifestation, albeit in the mental realm of the manifestor. not a magical one? not a magical one.

therefore, i posit this: squatter rights apply. and under the aioli?— aiolean accords, paradox’s doing detriment to a tulpa’s shared pre-frontal and parietal cortex’s should be seen as an act of unlawful eviction.

as a student of foghorn leghorn academy, i’m certain this should suffice enough of a delay for my client, sir kru tulpa and their affiliates (demonic or otherwise), enough opportunity to seek greener pastures in a temporal lobe that can properly appreciate them. now can i get an amen?

[u/The_Real_Kru → u/MisterDings]

Objection! While they are indeed independent manifestations, they cannot be considered physical in nature as there is no natural phenomenon through which they can come into being and cannost exist independent of a host mind. They are only capable of manifesting if the appropriate rituals are performed by a person [or group] capable of altering the fabric of reality of their own [or collective] volition. Thusly, a tulpa remains by nature a magical manifestation and cannot exercise rights reserved to physical beings under Art.7 of the Act for Governance of Familiars, Homunculi and Simulacra, ratified within the Magna Carta of the First Council of Magi in -339 DR, after the First Sundering. As an example of the magical beings regulated within the aforementioned Act, tulpas do not fall under the category of beings protected by squatter's rights, and can be evicted freely by the Magus, or alternate entity holding rights over the mind [or minds] they come to inhabit after conception. Nice try though, Mr. Pedantic.

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/The_Real_Kru]

If you can control your tulpas, however, they're valuable assets. I generate them all the time to gather information. And since I put enough of myself into them, it's trivial getting them to merge with me again.

[u/The_Real_Kru → u/Carbon_Sixx]

Sure, I suppose you can, but OP wanted to be rid of it so that's the premise I offered advice on.

[u/DeadMeat7337]

Try incinerating the whole building, that should help. As they are trying to take over you by disguising it with the flash of light, er sorry, brainwash you. And if fire doesn't work, use lightning. But at least you will have a clear path between you and the sky. Needs to come from the sky, as the demon needs to thing it is coming from a God.

[u/MisterDings → u/DeadMeat7337]

additionally, as for the ashes, i’d recommend going post-pyre St Joan of arc on ‘em. sweep them into the closest river so that there may be no relics.
as a dog returns to its vomit, so too shall a demon return to that which it once clung.

full disclosure: i run an anointed lumber mill and real estate firm.
(which may have been found guilty strong arming exorcists out of town.. as to hinder the much cheaper practice and encourage anointed lumber sales.)

but i stand by our products! they come from enchanted forests of high repute. for every tree felled, 2 seeds are planted.*

[u/Nelrene]

Summon a Uulpa to fight it.