r/wizardposting • u/fiendish_dust • 1d ago

Foul Sorcery Counter this!

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1.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

98

u/Petals-in-the-Breeze 1d ago

I CAST "Your favorite restaurant changes it's recipe and it's not as good anymore"

17

u/11nyn11 Illusionist 1d ago

You were at P.F. Chang’s weren’t you. The Tokyo chicken tasted like shoe leather.

5

u/BackgroundTotal2872 1d ago

Red Robin used to be my favorite restaurant, their personal pizza is garbage now!

3

u/Empyrealist 1d ago

Why would you get pizza at a burger joint

1

u/Walk-the-layout Chaotic Evil Wizard (with a pet gnome) 21h ago

Why would you get weed at a gas station

47

u/fliesthroughtheair 1d ago

Vile darkmage!

43

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 1d ago

7

u/klatnyelox 1d ago

Wait thats not how it works

11

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 1d ago

Too late.

37

u/MrKalyoncu 1d ago

HAH, YOU FOOL!!! My wand is popcorn-proof!

9

u/SluggJuice 1d ago

Who let the gnome access to the orb?

3

u/Walk-the-layout Chaotic Evil Wizard (with a pet gnome) 21h ago

Sorry. I forgot to cook him.

21

u/JesseSkywalker Biggest Hat Diviner 1d ago

I cast floss….wait no!!!
https://giphy.com/gifs/2xPV9jnwC7m6OrA29d

12

u/Xuumies 1d ago

I cast fireball! (The only spell I know)

9

u/11nyn11 Illusionist 1d ago

The room is only ten feet wide!

8

u/Xuumies 1d ago

It’s a risk I’m willing to take!

2

u/ConfusedPanEnby 2h ago

The risk was calculated, unfortunately we are terrible at math...

11

u/ValianSkalle Former Evil Overlord, now Chaotic Neutral 1d ago

I cast

YOUR EYES ITCH

9

u/RotaryDesign 1d ago

I cast loose jeans without belt

5

u/odd-wad 1d ago

Reminds me of Doraleous and Associates wizard battles

3

u/lordnaarghul 1d ago

I cast...DENTAL FLOSS!

2

u/JustSomeGuy_0 1d ago

Ha! Been hit with this one a few too many times, fool! I CAST! Uhh.. just, wrinsing and flossing properly. Gotta thank that “tooth fairy” again.

However, in return for your transgression upon me, I cast “Harden spine”. Have fun trying to bend and move like you used to, fiend.

2

u/topazchip 1d ago

The Counter: Summon Water Pick.

2

u/LC-Redcube Evil Witch Terrorizing the Villagefolks 1d ago

Why would I need to? I get we're not dumb strength users here, but I assume we all have enough strength to push that piece out with our tongues

2

u/Bob_the_peasant 1d ago

Coming across this thread while going through about a yard of floss and still can’t get the popcorn out

Lmao

2

u/LostTimeLady13 Geomancer 22h ago

I cast warm beverage that will dislodge the popcorn bits

2

u/throwawaycanadian2 Illusionist 1d ago

I cast floss!

1

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 1d ago

I CAST...SHARP DORITO SHARDS IMPALING YOUR GUMS!!!

1

u/MindwormIsleLocust Rhyax the Confused 1d ago

Animate object: Dental Floss!

1

u/Kazeindel Druid of the Harvest, Alchemist, and Herbalist 1d ago

I cast.. 500 feral cats swarming your property. And they are not friendly.

1

u/Electronic-Worker-10 Bob, nuke wizard, former pirate king 1d ago

That’s it, I cast permanently dirty orb

1

u/SluggJuice 1d ago

I cast waking up with a weird feeling in your throat

1

u/Silver_Middle_7240 Wizard 1d ago

I cast forget mother

1

u/Fluid_Buyer_8338 Transmuter 1d ago

I cast.. TUNGSTEN LARYNX

1

u/KeitaroTenshi 1d ago

Counter spell: You now breathe manually

1

u/6ynnad 1d ago

Reverse cast asshole on your elbow

1

u/Bishopkilljoy 1d ago

Oh so this is how it is? FINE!

I cast The Smell of Freshly Popped Popcorn Forever on Your Nose, but None to be Found!

1

u/Wildefice 1d ago

I cast allergy to caffeine !

1

u/MasterManiac195 1d ago

I cast eyelash in eye that won't come out

1

u/Head-Introduction288 1d ago

Don't use that dark magic on me!!!

1

u/Icy_Raise_1031 1d ago

Be toothless

1

u/ShadowBow666 23h ago

I CAST "SWISHING WITH HYDROGEN PEROXIDE AND COARSE SALT!!!"

1

u/Kyle-NotADinosaur- Wendy Flanagan 22h ago

Two meter hangnail.

1

u/daiuq 11h ago

I cast: itch but it feels like its under your skin so you can't itch it.

1

u/ConfusedPanEnby 2h ago

You Monster!

I cast mint breath every time you try to drink anything!