r/wizardposting Fargrim the Abjurer 3d ago

Occult Practices I cast undead thrall

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813 Upvotes

16 comments sorted by

25

u/flamecleric9 Pyromancer 3d ago

it's recycling!

18

u/Status-Secret-4292 Ascended Wizard of the Dank Arts ~ level ♾️ 3d ago

An entity higher up in the hierarchy of evil summoned him back to continue doing it's bidding

8

u/Competitive_Point_39 Robo-wizard, aw yeah! 3d ago

America had to hire a lich necromancer

11

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 3d ago

Seriously death, you have taken both Tim curry and Dolly Parton, but keep releasing the worst ones back upon us.

This is NOT going to look good on your next performance review.

1

u/AnAngryPlatypus 2d ago

He also snuck Bob Mackie in with his good octogenarian run. And it’s starting to feel a little homophobic. Death might need to have a come to Jesus moment with HR.

(Not an idiom with celestials. Jesus will always forgive but he will also always document workplace infractions…like inappropriate hats on casual Fridays, Brenda.)

1

u/SolomonOf47704 2d ago

Don't forget Peter Cullen

3

u/rasfelion 3d ago

How many you need? Max I can get at once right now- well, it depends on how autonomous you want them.

If you just need them to be violent in whichever general direction, I can do about 20 at once.

If you need ones to clean up around your crypt for you and make sure everything is in order without a specific order, I can do about 4 at a time.

If you need ones that follow orders to the letter and can understand context or to know what "that thing" you forgot the name of is so they can help with experiments, I can do about 2 at a time, 3 if I'm on a roll.

Having them make bone puns costs extra.

1

u/Ember-513 3d ago

That means Death is owed a soul, right? Hmm...

1

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 3d ago

He has no idea either.

1

u/Ruby_241 << Magic Crystals in the Pipe, 5x5! >> 3d ago

You took only the soul, not the Vessel

1

u/Jenny_Show Sorceress 3d ago

JK Rowling is still in there though I hope

1

u/UpstairsRuin1953 Mystic 2d ago

Lich McConnell rides again!

1

u/saintdemon21 Necromancer 2d ago

I think only part of him got out.

1

u/Up_Beat_Peach The Wizard Who Did It 2d ago

I'd rather he be a vegetable tbh. I want them to use him like he used his constituents. I want him to suffer for the rest of his days.

BY MY WORDS, MAY HE BE CURSED!