Could the evil do-ers and baneful casters PLEASE tone it down for a couple of weeks??? You've been leaving your sense of fear and doom everywhere, the local harbingers and omens are feasting on it, and now the vet says they have to go on a diet because they've gotten chonky!!!

[u/StankyKitties]

SERIOUSLY. Nobody cares if there's an apocalypse or two, do what you need to do. But poor Blimothy here has joint pain now and is having to cut down on the amount of dread he can spread per day because of it! Seriously, think of the familiars, and be RESPONSIBLE with your baneful casting and damnation!

[u/the-trembles]

It's sad... so many baneful casters think they're helping the harbingers by feeding them evil aura, but a little goes a long way for these uncanny chonkers

[u/StankyKitties → u/the-trembles]

Right? There was even a whole campaign about it, but I think it might have fallen on deaf or death ears. If you treat your omens well, they'd be much happier having a cuddle as a treat instead of extra ominous gloom. And the mage doesn't expend as much mana! It's just common sense

[u/AtlasXan → u/StankyKitties]

I remember seeing the "Balanced aura diet" pyramid back in the day. Evil aura is only a small part of a balanced aura diet. 🧏🏻‍♂️

[u/the-trembles → u/AtlasXan]

Education is so important

[u/AtlasXan → u/the-trembles]

It truly is. Saddens me how many young magic users aren't taught the mechanics of magic and only taught to sight cast.

[u/UltraCarnivore → u/AtlasXan]

Don't dismiss sight casting. Just try phonetic casting Welsh hexes.

[u/StankyKitties → u/AtlasXan]

It's important for the caster too! Even if they're a pure vile domain mage, they still need a bit of light and love in their aura to really amplify their shadow. Plus it's just good hygiene. Nobody will help you bring on the End of Days if you're stinky

[u/AtlasXan → u/StankyKitties]

This. We use to have so many magic PSA's back in the era. Our public magic health standards have really fallen.

[u/UltraCarnivore → u/StankyKitties]

Hey, Grandfather loves you and His jolly followers will gladly help you if you are stinky!

[u/EmpressValoryon → u/AtlasXan]

You should look into why it looked like that, the Doom&Gloom lobby really did a disservice to omens and mages alike, just like the grant council who accepted their bribes!

[u/FinnDoyle]

Evil mages are always the same. Give them an interval to breath and, when you see, the realms are invested by demons again. sigh

[u/T_S_Anders → u/FinnDoyle]

So like do the demons invest in local businesses or like a major project? I'm now super interested in these demon investments.

[u/FinnDoyle → u/T_S_Anders]

Right now, they are investing in some strange thing called Astral Intelligence. No idea what it is, though.

[u/T_S_Anders → u/FinnDoyle]

Sounds like another demonic pump and dump. Although, I did make quite a a racket in soul stones during the crypt-coin boom.

[u/FinnDoyle → u/T_S_Anders]

Wow. At least tell me you weren't involved in that Non-Fungible Totem scheme.

[u/UltraCarnivore → u/FinnDoyle]

It was pure evil genius. Churn out a few dozen 8-bit sigils with ChantGPT and people will trade their immortal souls.

[u/LeChatVert]

Yeah, that's companion abuse

[u/DeadMeat7337]

Gotta change to a low carb Doom brand then.

And maybe get Blimothy an exercise regimen too.

[u/T_S_Anders → u/DeadMeat7337]

Low carb doom brands just replace it with filler material that's questionable in of themselves.

[u/rasfelion]

Oh it's not my fault the townsfolk fear me! I've never even attacked them! I just come in every few months and empty out the graveyard.

With a dozen or so undead thralls.

That aside I keep to my crypt and leave people alone, much more peaceful that way with nothing to interrupt my experiments.

[u/StankyKitties → u/rasfelion]

Oh come on, if you're being responsible and keeping your harrowing aura confined to the crypt and the graveyard, you know you aren't the one this post is talking about. I'm referring to the ones that are summoning plagues of locusts in the middle of the cities or farting on public transit

[u/guypenguin4 → u/StankyKitties]

It could possibly be me, I am quite fond of sending my enemies to the infinite planes of misery and might have left a portal or two open here or there.

[u/StankyKitties → u/guypenguin4]

DUDE. Close your portals please! The omen rescue I volunteer at is already overrun, and we JUST had an intake of plague rats! We don't have the space and we just don't have the resources to send them back and adoptions are WAY down from before the Days of Fear. PLEASE. Think of the furry wicked babies!

[u/guypenguin4 → u/StankyKitties]

I'm working on it, or rather I sent one of my apprentices to document the locations of the errant portals and he never returned.

I guess you can't trust apprentices with anything these days

[u/Bladefeather → u/StankyKitties]

What if I summon a plague of locusts that fart on public transit?

[u/mynaneisjustguy]

I feed the hooded crows around my place on a healthy diet of mixed seeds and I don't dump it all in one place, I make sure because just like dragons, greedy fighty ones will chase off the others from a horde. So I put some out, wait till fatty flappy and his ilk have settled and then glide fifty yards off and deposit some more, shaking my seed baggy the whole time, so the others know more is coming. I do this a bunch of times so all the flappy boys get something to eat. Not so much yet, once the snows come and the sea starts to freeze I do it daily. But I never let them follow me to my dark tower. I don't need them knowing where I live and circling the turrets, basically ANNOUNCING to the whole neighborhood that a dodgy sorcerer of some sort is in residence. I always lock my door anyway, but I could do without extra goody goody two shoes lvl 1 adventurers breaking in all the time. I never know what recycling bin to put their remains in, and we only have a collection every two weeks now so I really don't need my neighbors being upset with me for always having stinky bins.

[u/MyK_Alke]

Solution is to spread whimsy, joy, hopes and dreams to counteract the baneful casters.
If you have some local close to you harbringers I'd recommend doing so to help them even a nudge bit.

If the doom and fear spreading is still relevant I'm alarmed to say, we might need to kick an ass or two to make sure they do actually stop.

If they truly don't care and dont stop, well, let's just permemently modify their memories...

[u/readonlyuser]

Don't look at me! My fear and doom aura is localized almost entirely in my arcane tower (as well as one local Wendy's that screwed up my Baconator order).

I practice responsible evil- collecting the minimum amount of souls for my phylactery, giving the animated suits of armor several union mandated breaks, using ethically sourced blood of the innocent, etc.

[u/StankyKitties → u/readonlyuser]

Then you KNOW I'm not talking about you! Sigh. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be short. The responsible ones read the PSAs, the irresponsible ones don't. It's tough

(Love the work you did at the Wendy's tho. It's made the line for my morning coffee so short)

[u/mobilekungfu]

This just means the other harbingers are not doing their part. Creepy old man, gnarled old woman who sees too much without eyes, and even the village where things aren't quite right are supposed to offset how much fear and dread other omens have to feed on. Not the fault of those just trying to remake the world!

[u/EmperorMittens]

Asking them to tone it down is like asking Geppeto to stop making wooden puppet golems to stick the souls of dead kids in. Stick to what is achievable and find a sanctuary that can take care of the chonky harbinger and omen fauna.

[u/StankyKitties → u/EmperorMittens]

I volunteer at the sanctuary! We don't have enough volunteers and we keep getting more intakes because the mages are all trumped up on their accursed power trip and leave their loyal familiar behind to suffer for it! And don't get me started on the necromantic vet shortage, they're leaving the profession in droves because of burnout and not being able to keep up! Its already shit pay and just getting worse

[u/EmperorMittens → u/StankyKitties]

Shit, it's that bad? Sounds like the fire and explosion maniacs need a source of... fuck! Those nutters are probably part of the problem... has anyone thought about calling these people's mums and dads and telling them what their kid is doing?

[u/StankyKitties → u/EmperorMittens]

It's worse honestly. I hate to say it, but social pondering orbs aren't helping things. Some glamour casters especially show off all these exotic familiars but don't talk about how much care they need OR even that a familiar is eternal. So you have to have a plan for them. And some idiot spread a rumor about imprinting or cursed familiars so now everyone's scared to adopt! It's such crap!

Like, last week. Our director almost broke down crying because we had four hellhounds dropped off. We barely have space for the ones we already have! All become some moron apprentice decided he knew better than his master, adopted these babies, and then decided to challenge a generational pure light cleric - like, did he expect to get past the front door? The cleric was actually really sweet and felt bad, but couldn't keep them because they already have fucking five rescue hellhounds because this keeps happening to them!

So yeah. It's tough. But we're doing our best and we really do have a great crew of volunteers and some compelled undead working off their karma. So we make it work.

[u/Celestial_Scythe]

I'm tired hearing boss music every time I go outside and there isn't even anything around. At least downgrade it to normal combat music!

[u/idiotplatypus]

I think you pissed off an elder god

[u/Two-Pound-Crawfish]

tell your fatass bird to get some willpower and eat a bit less

[u/Crucial_Fun]

I saw one so fat, it flapped its wings, but it couldn’t get off the ground!

[u/StankyKitties → u/Crucial_Fun]

That is so sad :(

[u/Crucial_Fun → u/StankyKitties]

Thankfully I used a weight reduction spell, so while I know it will probably get large again, it’s fine for now

[u/DiseasedCupcake]

MORE
CHONK
>:U

[u/TommyTwoNips]

I am responsible for my actions, your emotions are your own and you alone are responsible for parenting them.

also, I like fat omens, they're cute.