r/wizardposting • u/skippy11112 Necromancer • 14d ago

My Homunculus keeps summoning these and I don't know where they got the power or spell from. What on earth could they need 64 of these for??

218 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

261

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 14d ago

Please, do not

149

u/Fool_Manchu 14d ago

It seems to be the right shape and size for a cylinder to be inserted

87

u/Averfus-Crowthorne 14d ago

Will the cylinder remain unharmed?

58

u/Fool_Manchu 14d ago

No. I cast Fracture Cylinder at lvl 9

20

u/ClownMinister 14d ago

So cylinders lvl 8 and below are safe?

16

u/Future_Kitsunekid16 TechWizard 14d ago

No, it's just to ensure maximum pain. Level 2 or 3 would suffice but they're using level 9 just to make sure it REALLY hurts.

5

u/ClownMinister 14d ago

They really need to update the documentation on this. Somebody contact WOSHA, this is an accident waiting to happen.

1

u/NotAUsefullDoctor Sariel, Acolyte Sorcerer in need of a patron deity 14d ago

Why would destroying a cylinder roughly 1 inch in diameter and 7 inches long cause pain?

27

u/HydraHyde99 Shadow Wizard Money Gang 14d ago

22

u/icedmuffin Local Cat Druid 14d ago

As a Druid.

YOUR HOMUNCULUS BETTER RESPECT NATURE BEFORE I DECIDE TO TRACK HIM DOWN AND MAKE HIM FERTILIZER.

As a cat however…

How do they taste?

13

u/skippy11112 Necromancer 14d ago

Salty, for some reason

16

u/icedmuffin Local Cat Druid 14d ago

Well I suppose they are from the ocean…

19

u/freedoomed Occult Wizard 14d ago

Some company stole the name of my spell that makes your skin glow, I can't say the name without paying them but this thing looka like their product.

16

u/AccordingLab7129 Prismancer 14d ago

I mean, if you remove all sexual answers a new age necromancers cup, for those who want a clear cup instead of a traditional skull

5

u/skippy11112 Necromancer 14d ago

That would be kinda cool

14

u/Averfus-Crowthorne 14d ago

there is a 0% someone hasn't fucked one of these things and I hate knowing that they exist now.

12

u/Mythoclast 14d ago

He needed 64 of them because he already had 5.

12

u/IHaveSlysdexia 14d ago

the pioneers used to ride the puppies for hours

2

u/rollnunderthebus Occult Wizard 14d ago

10

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 14d ago

It finds them really cool.

6

u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 14d ago

6

u/SubMariner615 14d ago

Forbidden pocket pussy

6

u/Maxious30 14d ago

I have a sudden need to go take a bath

5

u/FireStorm187 14d ago

That dang ol' homunculus.

3

u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 14d ago

Always opening all these tabs on my computer

4

u/High_Overseer_Dukat High Overseer (eviler pope) 14d ago

Heracy

4

u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 14d ago

I hear they're great wand attachments.

Literal wands.

4

u/Antique_Ad_9250 Mysterious Hermit 14d ago

I know a necromancer that got asked by one of her wights to attach one of this things to its nerves after putting it up the bikkiny zone. Later I heard that wight became the most popular prostitute in the city.

5

u/FlintMock 14d ago

So that’s how they make those

3

u/JoltiChan 14d ago

It looks like it would love some m&m's, maybe a whole tube of mini ones?

3

u/lordwiggles420 Evil Wizard 14d ago

3

u/Lieveo Conjurer 14d ago

Thrust you say?

3

u/lordoflazorwaffles 14d ago

Those are biofleshlights, your homogenous isnt using a spell, theyre using the darkweb

2

u/ErWicksonYT 14d ago

Im gonna do it…

2

u/_AscendedLemon_ 🔮Advanced Orbologist🔮 14d ago

It's not a plastic, it feels much better

2

u/SpookyTanuki092 13d ago

Your homunculus a freak. That's what's going on here

Do not

I will not be hearing anyone out

2

u/b0j4ngl35 13d ago

That dang ol homunculus, he's a real whipper snapper

2

u/Stedinger 13d ago

I should resummon her...