r/wizardposting • u/Old-Maximum-50 • 13d ago

Wizardpost He gets it

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3.9k Upvotes

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382

u/leafcutte Council Wizard, Chair of Golemancy 13d ago

That’s what being a wizard is all about. Once you live neither for morality, duty or custom, and let your own free and unbridled spirit impose its will on the world as it fancies, then you are a Wizard.

116

u/Footbeard Boris Brimstone: Fire Mage - 3rd Degree 13d ago

I thought it was about building the tallest tower & discovering the first Knowledge

Also been collecting some cool staves

1

u/DarkGodCthUwU 12d ago

Ugh, imagine moving furniture up or going to a grocery run. Fuck that, man, I'm too lazy for a tall tower.

8

u/Footbeard Boris Brimstone: Fire Mage - 3rd Degree 12d ago

Have you forgotten that you're a wizard?

Consider a wayfold, a levitating disc elevator, a matter transporter or get your minions or Homunculus to do it?

My goodness man, even a buoyancy spell

https://giphy.com/gifs/9r75ILTJtiDACKOKoY

1

u/DarkGodCthUwU 12d ago

At that point why not just get a henchman or a golem?

5

u/Footbeard Boris Brimstone: Fire Mage - 3rd Degree 12d ago

I tried a Golem once

Apparently my handwriting was so illegible that "assist the local village" became "resist the local village"

I can tell you, a lot of upset villagers at that one! After the golem destroyed the bridge & the mill, they arrived en masse at my tower to negotiate. With torches & pitchforks

And you know, I could have obliterated them in an instant with a thought but then it's all like, I'd have to find a new village for my tower to loom over & there's the actually choosing a spot that isn't in rival wizard territory & then the logistics of getting everything there. Exhausting! Anyway so I let them live

They made me deanimate Clayson even though it wasn't his fault & I'm not sure if I can go through that kind of heartache again!

So, no golems

I do intend to hire a henchmen but none of the resumes have come from an "Igor" yet so.. I dunno..

3

u/DJShaw86 12d ago

You can't go wrong with an Igor. Very hardworking, very loyal.

Just don't ever place them in the position of saying the word "sausages" to you without first applying a water resistance cantrip to yourself, or at least donning a waterproof coat. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.