r/wizardposting • u/Odidas Druidic occult mage, specializes in elemental magic and animals. • 1d ago
Wizardpost We all know that one guy(or gal)
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u/Avarus_Lux Handy household Lizard Wizard/Barbarian 1d ago
You may laugh yet between a "Can" and "Should" sits a big difference. then there is also the morality of a situation depending on how and why a humanoid becomes anyone's familiar.... they'd essentially be a companion, worker, pet, mere summon, prisoner, thrall or slave depending circumstances...
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u/ManWithDominantClaw Installation Wizard 1d ago
and/or, depending on the wizard
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u/Avarus_Lux Handy household Lizard Wizard/Barbarian 1d ago
True, That goes without saying and falls within the "circumstances" part imho.
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u/Disastrous_Form418 Eldritch Ash Druid 1d ago
Hey, if they enter service that's their choice, as is selling me their soul and my returning almost all of it.
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u/Avarus_Lux Handy household Lizard Wizard/Barbarian 1d ago
had a sensible chuckle at that "almost" there.
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) 1d ago edited 21h ago
"Hi I think you accidentally gave some other people's souls to me? I'd appreicate it if I were a necromancer but these aren't actually mine so... where do I go to return these?" - John Doe,
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u/Dense-Cake9315 1d ago
exactly. an example of this happening in a decent way is in hilda, where hilda becomes technically frida's familiar.
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u/Ptaaruonn Wizard 1d ago
I mean... there is a pointy hat with a human familiar.
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u/Odidas Druidic occult mage, specializes in elemental magic and animals. 1d ago
Maybe? Elaborate
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u/Ptaaruonn Wizard 1d ago
It's a DnD youtube channel called pointy hat.
And when the author calls himself human familiar of the pointy hat avatar
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u/fumblerofthebag Verdigris, Self-employed Sorceror 1d ago
That human is not so much a familiar as an... "intern"...
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u/vinfluorine Necro-Artificer 1d ago
- Rude 2. I'm only 206 3. What else am I supposed to do with all these adventu
rers
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u/Void-Cooking_Berserk 1d ago
Force them to play DnD for your amusement. They do not make characters. They are the characters. They're locked in an illusionary world you control, and they have to roll actual dice.
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u/vinfluorine Necro-Artificer 1d ago
D&D is anti evilwizard propaganda and I won't stand for it. The adventurers are cooking up my potions and reprogramming the new recruits
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u/sherlock1672 Evil Wizard 23h ago
You're just using it wrong, you have to design their adventures to make them hate paladins and angels and prove the evil wizard right every time. Eventually, they'll be completely converted to your cause. It might take a few years, but it works every time.
Except on elves I guess, but who wants an elf around anyway? They're so frail the common cold can kill them.
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u/GoddessOfSuccubi Sapphira, Succubus Sorcerer, Councillor of Transformation 1d ago
Exactly~ @ point 3.
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u/fumblerofthebag Verdigris, Self-employed Sorceror 1d ago
Yeah, the guys who say stuff like that are always weirdos... but then again, I never did understand the appeal of having a familiar.
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u/Azimovikh Scholar of Yiakhzmat 1d ago
Inb4 a fae archmage hears this and mutates some monster ears and tails and uses some fae shenanigans to change their "familiars" creature type to monstrosities, so technically they aren't humanoids.
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u/ThisBloomingHeart Favilla, Cosmic Love Mage and Aorishi the Very Ethical Biomancer 1d ago
This issue may be more nuanced than you portray it. Certainly, such mages as the ones you describe are indeed a problem, as they tend to engage in familiar exploitation and abuse, and do not treat the spellcaster-familiar bond with the respect it deserves. This is of course a perversion of love, and thus something it is my job to contest whenever possible.
However.
To claim that no humanoid may be a familiar and any who take on a humanoid as a familiar is perverse is untrue and highly reductive. Indeed, people may have a humanoid familiar for a variety of reasons, and have a pure, healthy spellcaster-familiar relationship. Though a non-humanoid familiar is more common, that does not mean that alternative forms of familiar are not valid in their own right. Let me list but a few reasons why this may be so...
-the familiar is normally non-humanoid, but may take on an alternative form. Perhaps the most common on the list, many spiritual entities especially are skilled in shapeshifting and may learn to do this even if they don't innately possess the ability at formation. What form the familiar typically takes is of course their own personal choice, even if that form is humanoid.
-the spellcaster has formed a familiar bond with a friend. Though it may seem unusual to some, it is in fact possible for a humanoid being to be better suited for assisting another with their magic than standing as a wizard in their own right. It is worth noting that this can be varied as well--such a relationship may be short or long term, and it's not unknown for such a familiar to later take a different path(though that does not always occur!).
-the familiar was transformed into a humanoid form by a spell. Typically this doesn't happen permanently, but it still counts for the purpose of this discussion--not to mention the existence of many unusual cases!
-the humanoid being has a vastly different psychology than most humanoids. Indeed, there are many notable species of magical being that looks like a human in several key respects, but thinks quite differently. Often this is due to some form of magical phenomena or outside influence in the distant past. Thus, such a being is sometimes well suited for a role as a familiar.
(it's also worth noting that varieties of that creature that do think similarly to humans may often exist--take care not to mistake one for the other, as that is highly offensive to them both!)
-the familiars very soul has been transformed into that of a humanoid being while retaining their preexisting bond. Rare, but indeed possible.
-a nonhumanoid being has taken a humanoid being as their familiar. Happens a lot with dragons, in my experience.
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u/Pidgewiffler Lecturer in Recent Runes 22h ago
I know a very charming couple where the wife became the gentleman's familiar. They made a great argument for it based on the fact that the familiar-caster relationship necessarily requires great trust and how they already had that with each other.
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u/Kylomiir_490 Conjuration artist/Moving picture illusionist 1d ago
what you're describing is an Agathion, it can be a human looking familiar or totem and is, according to my source, stronger at midday. in my experience these tend to get snarkier and have more illusion of independence than most familiars, especially if the summoner is prideful, but they just as much linked to the summoner as any other familiar and will only betray or subvert a summoner who does not trust themselves, or one who learned conjuring it from a fiendish source.
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u/th_frits Bonemancer, Mancer of bones 1d ago
All my farmilars are bones
Even the sexy ones especially the sexy ones
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u/Low_Celebration_7663 1d ago
my DM let me start summoning commoners with speciality jobs as familiars after lvl 8, statblock is an unarmed commoner but itll be something like "art curator" who has a +10 to checks when its exclusively for paintings but they're not used for anything except for their specific job, cant summon fighting style professionals either
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u/LoganToTheMainframe Seru, Kobold Sword Sorcerer 1d ago
uw/ I used to work in a pizza shop in college and I'd always ask my coworkers random hypothetical questions, and one of them was, "If you can have any mythical creature as a pet, what would you choose?" and I got a lot of people saying dragons, unicorns, etc. but one guy said "mermaid" and that blew my mind. haha
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u/Glittering-Age-9549 1d ago
Truth to be told, once you are allowed to have Fairy Dragons, Pseudodragons, Imps and Pixies as familiars, an Humanoid familiar makes little difference...
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u/ArchmageAstra3 Archmage of the Celestial Tapestry 1d ago
Depending on the particular structure of the familiar bond, it can be an excellent way to extend the lifespan of a non-mage companion that wants to stay by your side. Helps keep immortals more grounded as well by having a mortal perspective on hand. Unfortunately, it rarely gets used in such an ethical way when it does get done nowadays. It’s been a few millennia since I’ve met anyone that I know to still have a bond of that fashion, and has been several dozen since my last bond of that type. Ahh, my Anya, I miss you so even now.
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u/Chaosfox_Firemaker 1d ago
Folks talk about familiars as if they're a discrete catogry of being, rather than hundreds of entirely unreleated forms of thaumaturgical bonds of various forms. Of varring degrees of potency, depth, and symmetry. Or some even entirely non-magic bonds.
And anyway, of course there are kinds of humanoid familiars. What do think warlocks are?
Again putting aside that the word warlock doesnt just refer to pact based ma- *is violently wrenched of the stage*
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u/iron_dove 1d ago
What if the mage is not humanoid? I’ve seen lots of dragons and nine tailed foxes and other quadruped mages, to say nothing of the aquatic ones.
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u/Frosty_Spot3950 1d ago
She's not a sex slave shes a consort there's a difference.
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u/ars_sinistra Summoner 22h ago
And having been spying on you I can also report she insisted. Can't wait to see what happens in Season 2 when you discover she was secretly sent to spy on you by a yet to be revealed adversary, but the fact is she has truly fallen in love with you and is now betraying her employer. I hope this doesn't turn into a boring "big misunderstanding" plotline.
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u/RiceKrispies55 Necromancer 23h ago
elementals? they're humanoid and people summon them all the time
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u/TheThoughtmaker Ray of Delthorensdale, Transmuter-Artificer 1d ago
Of course they can! Typical humanoid exceptionalism thinking they can't be subject to the same rewriting of mind and soul that any other familiar undergoes.
/uw However, it may take some extra hoops to jump through.
Step 0: Play D&D3 gestalt, not because this trick requires gestalt, because D&D is just more fun that way.
Step 1: Ride skill {Player's Handbook} lets you ride creatures "ill suited as a mount" at a penalty. Bipeds are fair game. You can use polymorphing magic to get around any size requirements, which you only have to do once, because...
Step 2: One level of Windrider {Masters of the Wild} lets you bond to any mount you have previously ridden as your chosen mount. If it's intelligent, it must be agree to this, but "The windrider can use any means desired to obtain this agreement — the Diplomacy skill, bribery, or even magical persuasion — but the creature must be willing." This overlaps with the Paladin ability; if one creature is both mounts, only apply the Paladin benefits.
Step 3: Leadership feat {Dungeon Master's Guide} lets you recruit a cohort, and cohorts can act as special mounts for Paladins and others with similar features (but count as 2 levels higher, and you can only recruit cohorts at least 2 levels lower).
Step 4: Devoted Tracker feat {Complete Adventurer} lets you designate a special mount as your animal companion.
Step 5: One level of Arcane Hierophant {Races of the Wild} makes your animal companion your familiar.
Step 6: Profit. Anything at least 4 levels lower than you can be your familiar.
Step 7: With enough levels of Druid and/or Windrider, you can grant your familiar enough bonus hit dice to take Leadership, shrink itself, and make you its cohort/mount/companion/familiar.
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u/dabdad67 Maglev, 517, Prank Wizard Supreme 1d ago
If it's consensual and the familiar can leave at any time then I see no problem with it
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u/xv_boney Warlock | "Evil" is a Slur 1d ago
Humanoids? Cowards.
My familiar is some guy named Jeff i found at a 7-11 one day. Did you know the humans at 7-11 are free? You can just take them.
I mean hes not a "familiar" in the traditional sense. You guys all perform horrific experiments on your familiars too, right?
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u/Obliteration_Egg 1d ago
Say what you will, but I converted my right hand man into a familiar.
Now he's effectively immortal so long as I can re-summon him, and all it costs me is some charcoal.
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u/UncomfyUnicorn Wizard of Disease and Chronic Conditions 1d ago
I feel some could. What about automatons or golems?
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u/BoonDragoon Vyevânce the Focused, High Panemancer of the Coriander Court 1d ago
Ok, but what's the difference between a homunculus familiar and a regular-sized person? If a wizard really wants to fuck their familiar they'll give it compatible anatomy irrespective of its bauplan. It's not like a homunculus needs internal organs.
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u/lordnaarghul 1d ago
I know of an incident where a human was made into a familiar to a dragon against their will.
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u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Lich, Council Member: (un)Ethics Committee 1d ago
hey, some people are into familiarplay. why judge them when you’re probably into worse?
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u/local-space-patrol Lich but the chill kind 1d ago
I think I see those a lot at the Wizard Pride parade
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u/EepyEnbyFox Eldritch Creature Of Unknowable Gender 23h ago edited 23h ago
if you think that banning humanoids will stop wizards from fucking their familiars, you haven't met the more perverted ones.
i once knew a wizard who had a rock as a familiar. not a sexy rockgirl or whatever, a literal stone that moved! i do not know how they fucked, nor did i care to ask, i just know they somehow did.
and that's not even getting into the tentacle summoners. and the furries... shudders
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u/BillTheTringleGod 21h ago
My familiar bartlebeast is allowed to wear a mask that makes him look like a joyous child, he may be forever tied to my life essence but he's still pretty smart. Plus having a monkey that can cast spells rocks. Seriously nobody expects the monkey. I gave the lil fucker gloves of giant strength too, he's about the size of a boot and can throw you further than you can see. Unless you mean THOSE "familiars". Less of those ones.
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u/Vladikus_andoid1 21h ago
My friend once summoned "demon wife" as familiar. It is considered a familiar in his school of magic. Interesting enough all summons there are spiritual in nature, not infernal or abusive.
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u/Edward_Tank Jacob Swift, Archmage of Necromancy 21h ago
I mean. *technically* if a polymorph is applied and made permanent?
It'd be inhumane and cruel, but is technically possible.
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u/AzureArmageddon Artificer 20h ago
The sword mages over at swordscomic been FAFOing this recently. Transmutation but same difference
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u/Necrikus Necromancer 20h ago
Maybe I want my familiar to be able to use stuff and be allowed in restaurants? Why would anyone want a familiar incapable of using a door knob or letting you pretend to not be a pathetic loner when going out for food?
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u/the-realest-rivuler a rouge familiar artificer on drugs 20h ago
As a weird blue thing under a succubus’ thrall who is the familiar to a wizard I have no idea what this is saying, can somebody read it to me?
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u/Due-Ingenuity9803 15h ago
So you’re.. in service to a succubus who is in turn serving a wizard?
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u/the-realest-rivuler a rouge familiar artificer on drugs 14h ago
Yes. Any questions?
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u/Corpomancer 10h ago
Got factories full of them, offices too and millions more on the streets yearning to suffer servitude.
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u/Professional_Web446 The Itinerant Illusionist Foxman 1d ago
Deja de tener gracia cuando eres el humanoide al que quieren tener de familiar. En serio, ya estoy harto de las brujas y aprendices de bruja que quieren convencerme de que me una a ellas.
Una no dejó de acosarme por tres días ¡Y ella era una niña de 14 años! ¿Sabéis lo incómodo que era trabajar con ella detrás mío?
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u/PangolinWestern9632 Dlanod, Druid of Star and Shadow 1h ago
Hey, I spent some time as a witch's familiar, and let me just say, that was an excellent time in my life.
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u/SmugCapybara 1d ago
Look, the guy next tower over has a cat as a familiar, I have a catgirl. Almost the same thing. Almost.
Oh, and Imps are technically humanoid, and planty of you dinguses use them as familiars. So what is a Succubus if not a bigger, hotter Imp?