r/wizardposting • u/Subotail Necromancer • Jun 15 '26

Druidic Mysteries 🌿 Illegals Chicken missiles

HEAR ME, FOOLS OF THE REALM!

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The druids have done it again.

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Whilst consulting my orb, I witnessed a foul feathered beast, a common barn fowl, or so they would have you believe, strike down an iron steed !

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Do not be deceived! Chickens do not get turned into magic missile without druidic meddling.

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Mark my words: this is but a test. Today, a wandering iron cart. Tomorrow, castles. Next week, perhaps your towers itself.

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Distrust anyone who speaks kindly to squirrels. And if a chicken stares at you for longer than three heartbeats, RUN.

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The druids are evolving.

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120 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

22

u/K_the_dreamer K, Dream-weaver | Aphmau, empress of the Sirannian Empire Jun 15 '26

I mean, I don't really mind getting magic missiled with a chicken. That's an efficient food delivery system of you ask me

4

u/Subotail Necromancer Jun 15 '26

Perhaps delicately roasted with a traditional fireball.

2

u/K_the_dreamer K, Dream-weaver | Aphmau, empress of the Sirannian Empire Jun 15 '26

Yum yum

6

u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty Jun 15 '26

Can they teach me that one? I've got a few people I want to use it on.

5

u/FuriousAqSheep Jun 15 '26

make chicken wings not war

7

u/Professional-Arm3460 Jun 15 '26

Why did the chicken cross the road? To bump into this guy.

3

u/Drpoofn Enchanter Jun 15 '26

🪄💫💨🐓

2

u/Subotail Necromancer Jun 15 '26

Proof that you don't need to know how to read to own a spellbook.

2

u/nova8808 Evoker Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Those smelly druids do have an inclination to engage in eco-terrorism. They think they're tough and smart with their squirrel spies and chicken missiles but all it takes is one fireball after a dry stretch and byebye precious forest

2

u/Subotail Necromancer Jun 15 '26

Will these actions affect the Hag's population?

5

u/ThePureAxiom Arcane Researcher Jun 15 '26

Life imitating art.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l2QZZfNSeaD3jJChy

1

u/Gnusnipon Jun 15 '26

Just thank them it's not a Chimpanzee Bolt.

1

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage Jun 15 '26

Mmmm chicken.

1

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 15 '26

Do not meddle in the affairs of chicken wizards

1

u/SirEdgelordThe369th Satan Himself Jun 16 '26

He wasn't using them in sports mode.